


The Time Traveler's Wife - The Other Side

by fangs_for_the_memories



Series: The Time Traveler's Wife [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, F/F, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-02-10 12:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 82,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18660673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangs_for_the_memories/pseuds/fangs_for_the_memories
Summary: Laura is a normal girl, trying to make her way through a regular life.  Except her life involves a mysterious time traveler named Carmilla Karnstein, who's been popping up every so often since Laura was a child.  Her best friend always eventually leaves to go back to her time-- until one day, when she doesn't.  Then she begins leaving to go travel away from her.  But Laura will wait, because their life together is worth it.  No matter in what time they're in.A sequel toThe Time Traveler's Wife.





	1. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet our two protagonists, born a year apart, but separated by their timelines interweaving forwards and backwards. Told from the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A present I came up with a month ago to you amazing, magnificent people.  
> To the best part of this fandom-- the most supportive, engaging, and lovely people that this series could have ever brought together. And throughout sharing this story, and all the ones before it, you've all been so good at helping me try to get over my insecurity about my writing. Your kind words, kudos, and views mean so much more to me than you'll ever know.  
> I've rewritten [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17147822?view_full_work=true) entire fic, not from Carmilla's POV of their relationship, but from Laura's. In fact, it's the new iteration that split from _that_ Carmilla traveling back, so I've even thrown in some very very minor changes in each chapter.  
> I'm not totally done revamping all the chapters yet, so bear with me. Here are the first eleven chapters!  
> AND! If you want a nifty guide to keep the two timelines in order, you can find it [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-y3XnLnrfzWpZirLGGjd3bBOmZdw6KRJ/view?usp=sharing).

**April 1990**

 

Mircalla Morgan is born to Lilita Morgan and Samuel Karnstein, an upper-class family.  Lilita is a hot-tempered woman, passionately in love with Samuel.

Samuel is a calm, warm man.

She owns a research company that has its fingers in different pies, but begins specializing  

He is also a time traveler, a carrier of a genetic disorder that causes temporal displacement, mostly beyond his control.  His mother before him had it, and taught him from the age of six how to use mindfulness and inner peace to prevent jumps from being as frequent and erratic.  When he began displaying symptoms of his condition during puberty, his traveling was merely a small nuisance.

 

Samuel and Lilita agree that when their child reaches the age of six, he will pass on this knowledge.

 

* * *

 

**January 1991**

 

Laura Hollis is born to Sherman and Eileen Hollis, a middle-class family living within their means.  Eileen is a woman who chases adventure and treats everyone she meets with kindness. Sherman is a devoted, open man who errs on the side of overprotection but recognizes one’s ability to depend on themselves.

 

Hours after being born, Laura bursts out of her swaddle and rolls out of it, leading her shocked parents to declare they’re definitely going to have their hands full.

* * *

  
  


**December 1995**

 

Mircalla, five years old, sits in the passenger’s seat beside her father, who is smiling fondly as his beaming daughter belts out a classic rock song with him.

 

“ _ I love rock n' roll, _ ” he sings, pretending to hold a microphone in his hand.  He lowers it and turns it towards her.

“ _ So put another dime in the jukebox, baby! _ ” she belts out, a forceful voice coming out of her small body.

“ _ I love rock n' roll, _ ” he sings along with the radio.

They both do fist pumps and she does a little air guitar move he taught her as soon as she could stand. “ _ So come and take your time and dance with meee! _ ” they continue together.

 

He starts laughing and she giggles, hugging her with his free hand before he returns it to the steering wheel to make a turn.

It’s a cold winter night, but the roads are clear and an earlier rainstorm has cleared all the clouds in the sky.  Stars are shimmering and the moon is full and as Mircalla glances up through the windshield, it feels like the world is just meant for this moment, for her and her father to share.

After all, they’re on their way to their favorite spot to watch the meteor shower.  A love of the galaxy is one of the many things that bonds her with her father.

 

Suddenly, she hears a ringing in her ears.  It quickly grows in intensity and she winces, clutching it in pain.

“Cupcake?  Are you okay?” her father asks, keeping his eye on the winding road.

“Ow, the sound hurts,” she whines.

He frowns, realizing what’s happening to her-- albeit at a very young age.  “Buckle up, creampuff. I’ll pull over and then we can--”

 

The car hits a patch of black ice as he’s going through the turn and the tires skid, sending the car through an awkward spin and slamming it front-first into the giant metal divider.

 

But before the skidding even occurs, the high-pitched ringing grows louder in Mircalla’s ears and her body tingles.  She clamps her eyes closed and it feels like her entire existence has been pulled apart and instantly put back together.

 

When she cracks her eyes open, she stares around her in confusion.

_ I’m at home _ ?

_ And I’m naked? _

 

Realizing she’s standing without clothes in the hallway near her parents’ bedroom, she starts to head over to her bedroom.  But then she passes by the calendar her mother meticulously marks off every day she’s home as she teaches Carmilla the months of the year and how to read dates in general.

_ November? _

She frowns and begins counting the squares before her.

_ That was… five weeks ago! _

 

“ _ Buttercup, are you coming down for breakfast? _ ” her father’s voice comes from downstairs.  “ _ If you get here before your mother comes home from her flight, we can add extra chocolate chips to your pancakes! _ ”

 

Before she can even wrap her mind around what’s happening, the high-pitched ringing starts again and her body feels like it’s being split apart.

The next thing she knows, she’s back where—and  _ when-- _ she had been when she left her father’s side-- still without clothes, and several feet behind the crashed car.  A woman in her late twenties is standing beside the car, weeping. She’s wearing clothes too big for her and she wipes at her cheek with a long sleeve.

 

Mircalla walks up to the woman, who seems both startled and not surprised by her sudden appearance.

Sirens can be heard in the distance.

“Hi,” the woman says sadly.  “Was this your father?”

Mircalla frowns.  “I-Is he… Is he okay?”

The woman swallows hard and slowly removes her backpack, pulling out a small shawl and wraps it around Mircalla’s shivering form.  She rubs her carefully, trying to warm her up.

 

Kneeling before her, the woman looks her in the eyes.  She holds up Mircalla’s clothes, which had been left behind in the front passenger seat.  “Did you just go five weeks back in time? Hear your father ask you to come down for breakfast for extra chocolate chips on your pancakes?”

Mircalla eyes widen and she nods.

The woman sighs, her eyes sad.  “First of all… Your dad… he’s…” She takes a deep breath.  “He’s dead. You understand what that means, right? Like your cat, Bagheera?”

Mircalla starts to cry.  “Yes.”

Tears roll down the woman’s face, too.  She starts helping Mircalla get re-dressed as quickly as possible before wrapping the shawl around her again.

 

“But, I don’t  _ understand _ ,” she wails.  “I-I was in the car with my daddy, and then I wasn’t, and I heard him calling me for pancakes.  And now I’m here and-and there are no pancakes, and he’s…”

The woman swallows hard.  “Sweetheart, you time-traveled.  This is the first time you’ve done it, but unfortunately, it won’t be the last.”  She takes a deep breath. “I’m you. From the future. I’ve been where you are, and I know you’re scared, and confused and… well, unfortunately, that’s gonna be most of your life.”

“Y-You’re me?” Mircalla sniffles and lets out a sob and the woman kneels before her, eyes kind.  

 

“Yes and… And sometimes this time traveling thing will feel like a curse.  You can’t control it. You can’t control where or when you go, and how long you’re there. You’ll jump around in your life a lot and you won’t be able to… you can’t really change anything important.”

The woman looks at the car beside them, the sirens growing louder.

“You’ll feel powerless, and you never show up  _ with _ anything. But I promise, older version of Us will teach you whatever they can you help you survive. You’ll learn to pick locks and steal things and  _ almost _ never get caught.”

The woman winks and offers a hollow chuckle.

“A lot of times, these jumps are triggered by stress, so try to minimize that—think of the stars, or our favorite books.  The way dad’s pancakes smelled. That kind of stuff.”

 

“This sounds scary,” Mircalla whimpers, and the woman pulls her in for a hug.

She nods.  “It is. And it’s lonely.  But…” The woman pulls away, tapping Mircalla lightly on the nose.  “It won’t always be. You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like you  _ belong _ , like there’s always a home for you, no matter where or when you are.  Like you matter. Like you deserve better. I promise.”

 

Mircalla sniffles and wipes her cheek, but seems visibly calmer.

Flashing lights appear now and the woman smirks.  “One last thing. Tell the nice police officers that you got out of the car  _ after _ the accident, okay?  Some people don’t understand time-traveling… and, well, you’ll learn which ones you  _ can _ trust.”

“What about my mommy?” Mircalla asks.

The woman looks at her sadly.  “You can try. Maybe you’ll have better luck with her than I did.”

She reaches out and puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Little Miss Karnstein, you’re gonna have a wild life ahead of you,” the woman says, giving her a kiss on the forehead.  “And… You. Will. Be. Okay.”

 

With that, the woman disappears right in the front of Mircalla, who watches as her future self visibly vanishes before her.

A police car pulls up behind her and the drive door opens and closes as footsteps rapidly approach Mircalla.

“Are you okay?  Honey, are you okay?”

Mircalla turns, tears still flowing down her cheeks.  “No, but I will be.”


	2. The Strange Naked Crazy Lady in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little six year old Laura is having problems at a classmate's birthday party when she finds a strange, naked lady in the park.

**May 1997**

  
  


Laura Hollis, six years old, was always the first to speak up against injustice.  Her mother fostered the feeling of righting wrongs, while her father supported her.

And so, when she found out her teacher was taking money from the candy-selling fundraiser for heart disease research that her class was running, she had to put a stop to it.  She asked her mother for her video camera and set it up in the classroom closet to record, and caught Mr. Luce red-handed. Without wasting any time, she took the video tape straight to the principal’s office.

Mr. Luce was promptly fired, but instead of being commended by her friends and classmates, Laura soon found herself as an outcast.

 

“ _ He was so funny and nice!  Now he’s gone and it’s all your fault, Hollis, _ ” her classmate Danny had grumbled.

 

First grade sucked.

 

Which is why Laura was so surprised to receive an invitation to Danny’s birthday party.

Except once she showed up, Danny made it very obvious that her mother had made her invite Laura.  Mrs. Lawrence has always been kind to Laura, and insists that Danny always says lovely things about Laura to her.

But to her face, Danny was currently saying ‘Loser Laura’ is a tattletale, and that snitches get stitches and not cake.

 

It’s been an hour of this kind of comments before Laura finally decides she can’t take it anymore.  She goes to go find her mom and ask her to take her home.

The sounds of Danny and her classmates laughing and enjoying the party behind her echoes in her ears and she wills herself not to cry. Otherwise her mom would ask what’s wrong and she didn’t want to get into all that.

 

It was the lack of cake that really bothered her.

“Stupid Danny,” she grumbles.  “Sure, Danny. Let’s just let our teacher take all our money, Danny.  Dumb Danny. HAH. ‘Dumb Danny’ is waaaay meaner than ‘Loser Laura.’”

 

“Laura?” a voice whispers so softly from the shrubbery that at first she’s not sure she’s heard it.  “Laura!” it says again, more urgently.

Laura jumps and grabs her heart, looking around.“Wh-Who’s there?”

“It’s Carmilla.”

Laura frowns.  She doesn’t know anyone named Carmilla.  “ _ Who _ ?” she demands, panicked.

“Have you ever met anyone named Carmilla Karnstein before?” the mysterious voice asks.

“No,” Laura answers, doing her best not to sound scared.

Instead, she steps towards the shrubbery and regrets it immediately.

“Oh god!  Why are you  _ naked _ ?” Laura shrieks.  “Mommm--”

A mysterious naked woman lunges forward and clamps her hand over Laura’s mouth, muffling her scream.

Suddenly she wishes she took the krav maga lessons she just started a little more seriously.

 

“Laura, Laura!  I need you to calm down for a few seconds and let me explain, okay?  And then if you’re still scared, you can call for your mom.” The woman looks Laura in the eyes, pleading.  “Okay?”

Something in this woman’s eyes tells her she’s as scared as Laura is.  And after examining them, they seem warm and kind, without any hint of wanting to hurt her.

Worse comes to worse, she takes the woman up on her offer to call for her mom.

 

Laura hesitates for a moment but seems convinced by the woman’s desperate look to give her a chance.  She gives a frantic but firm nod.

The woman slowly withdraws her hand.

“Uhm, excuse me.  But who the hell are you?”

“Carmilla.  I’m a time traveler from the future, sweetheart.”

 

_ How dumb does she think I am?   _ Laura’s look of apprehension goes to one of irritation.  “I’m six years old. Not stupid years old.”

Carmilla chuckles at that.  “I come from your future. A future where we’ve met quite a bunch of times,” she explains carefully.  “How else would I know that you live at 307 Spatula Ave and your parents’ names are Eileen and Sherman?”

 

_ I thought their names are Mommy and Daddy. _

It takes her a moment to realize “Eileen” and “Sherman” are, indeed, what other people call her parents.

 

“Maybe you’re a creepy stalker,” Laura fires back, making Carmilla laugh again.

“You’re quite the spunky little kid, y’know that?”

_ Compliment me all you want.  Creeper.  _ Laura crosses her arms.  “So why did you time travel here?  A park in the spring of 1997 is pretty lame.”

 

“I don’t get to pick and choose where or when I go,” Carmilla explains.  “Although this is the first time I’ve traveled back to you outside your house.”

“You’ve… been inside my house?”

Carmilla nods.  “Well, I suppose from your point of view, I  _ will _ be inside your house.  I usually pop up in your attic and you give me what I assume are some of your mom’s clothes to wear til I disappear again.”

“Lemme guess, you can’t control that, either.”

Carmilla shakes her head at that.  “Could be minutes, hours, days. One time it was weeks, but that was when I was really having problems with my condition as a teenager.”

_ She is  _ SO _ old!  She’s older than a teenager! _

 

“Aaaand why are you naked?” Laura asks, deciding not to insult the crazy naked lady.

“I can’t take anything with me when I travel,” Carmilla replies, stepping back to the sanctity of her hiding place.

 

Laura seems more or less satisfied with that answer.

“I know this probably sounds insane to you, but I need you to promise me you won’t tell anyone.  Not even your mom and dad,” Carmilla says, her tone gentle but serious.

“How do you know I even believe you?  For all I know, you’re a crazy woman who likes hiding in bushes naked around parks, scaring children by knowing random facts about their lives,” Laura points out.

Carmilla looks at her.  “I’m not saying you believe me right now.  I’m saying I know you  _ will _ believe me and when you do, you can’t tell anyone.”

“Smug, much?” Laura grumbles.  She lets out a long sigh. “Wait here.”

 

Deciding that she wants this crazy woman as far away from her as possible, and that this wouldn’t be possible if she’s just hiding in the bushes in a park right by her house, Laura heads back to the bench her mom is sitting at.

“Oh, hi, dear,” Eileen greets warmly.  “What’s going on?”

“There’s a naked time traveler in the park hiding in the bushes and I want to give her some clothes,” Laura states.

 

Eileen stares at her for several long seconds before chuckling.  “I love how creative you and your friends are, sweetie! And that you care even about imaginary people that much.  Never change.” She starts walking down the path.

“But she’s in the bushes being a useless time traveler!” Laura insists.

“I’m sure she is.  But that sounds pretty lonely, doesn’t it?” Eileen asks gently.  “Time travelers deserve friends and love, too.”

 

Laura is quiet for a bit, mulling this over.  “I guess. Or, at the very least, clothes.”

Eileen laughs.  “Yes, dear.”

She lets Laura rummage through her drawers for a bit before producing a worn out t-shirt and some jeans and a pair of sneakers.

There’s a small beep and Eileen goes to check the time.  “Laura, I have to take my medication with some food. Will you and your naked time traveler friend be okay for a bit?”

Laura nods, carefully cradling the large clothes in her small arms.

“I’ll come back to the park to pick you up before dinner.”

“Okay, mommy.”

Eileen leans down and gives Laura a kiss on the cheek, watching from the front door as Laura carefully crosses the street.  Sherman would have a conniption if he knew, but Eileen recognized all too well from a young age that Laura was a lot more capable than most people gave her credit for.

 

Laura heads back to the park and back up the path, finding the shrubbery.

“Here.”

 

Carmilla peeks her head out as Laura holds out a pile of clothes.  She takes it gratefully and starts getting dressed. “How’d you get these for me?”

“I found my mom and we went home and I asked if I could borrow her clothes for a naked time traveler I found hiding in the bushes in the park,” Laura replies.

Carmilla stares at her, unable to read her expression.  “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.  Then she told me yes and be back before dinner.  I think she thought I was joking.”

Carmilla sighs.  “Laura… I told you, you can’t tell anyone about--”

“I can do whatever I want,” Laura declares with a huff.

Carmilla lets out a long exhale, trying to remain patient.

 

“Fine, have it your way, sunshine.”  She steps out onto the pathway. “Thanks for the clothes, though.”

Laura crosses her arms. “You can pay me back in information.”

Carmilla stifles some laughter.   “Shoot.”

_ I didn’t think she’d say yes _ .  “...Do you know me in the future?”

“Yes.”

_ What? _ Laura narrows her eyes.  “Wait, I don’t just mean my future.  Like we do we ever meet when we’re both old?”   _ Whoops.  So much for not calling her old. _

“Spoilers.  Also, being old is subjective, hon,” Carmilla comments, clearly amused.

Laura stamps her foot.  “I asked for information!”

“And I just gave you some.  At least two solid pieces of information, in fact.”

“You’re annoying,” Laura grumbles, walking down the path and hoping that was the end of that.

 

She realizes Carmilla is walking behind her.  “You’re pretty annoying too, y’know.”

“Then why are you  _ following _ me?” Laura demands.

“Well, when I disappear, the clothes stay behind.  You wanna go home to your mom without her clothes?” Carmilla points out.

Laura doesn’t answer.  This was her favorite t-shirt of her mom’s.

“What’s with you?” Carmilla asks.  “You were grumbling when you were walking towards the bushes and now you’re all brooding.  It’s my job to brood.”

“We can both brood,” Laura mumbles, irritated that this random woman is acting like she knows Laura.

But if she’s being honest with herself, that’s not the source of the irritation.

She sits down on a park bench, letting herself be upset.  “I got into trouble at school and now everyone is making fun of me.”

 

Carmilla sits down beside her, and Laura can’t help but wonder why she’s still with her.  So she might as well tell her story.

“I found out our teacher was taking money from the candy-selling fundraiser our class was running,” Laura explains, kicking her feet.  “I took my mom’s camera and recorded him doing it and showed the principal the footage so the teacher got fired.”

“Why would kids make fun of you for that?” Carmilla asks, genuinely curious.

Laura shrugs with a pout.  “My friends think he’s funny and nice and now he’s gone and they blame me.”

“That sucks,” Carmilla says, with no teasing and complete sincerity.

“And then, before I found you, the reason I was in the park at all was this girl in my class had a birthday party.  But she and everyone else was making fun of me so… I left.”

Carmilla frowns at that.  “You left?”

Laura nods.

“Oh, come on, cupcake.  You, Laura Hollis, left because people were teasing you?”

Laura nods again, more sheepishly this time.  Maybe this Carmilla woman  _ does _ know her.

 

“Well, that just won’t do, will it?” Carmilla pats Laura’s leg.  “You’re  _ Laura Hollis _ .  You don’t take any crap from anyone.  These kids should be  _ thanking _ you for stopping this.  I mean, what was this fundraiser for?”

“People with heart disease,” Laura says slowly, thinking about her mom at home right now, taking her medication with a snack.  “People like my mom.”

Carmilla regards her with knowing sympathy, but not pity.  She definitely does know Laura and about her mother, after all.  And this ignites something in Laura.

 

“You know what?  You’re right. Why did I leave?  Just coz stupid Danny Lawrence called me a tattle-tale at her birthday party?  I got invited, I deserve to be there. I should girl the hell up, go back to that Spice Girls-themed party, and eat a slice of cake!”

Carmilla grins.  “That’s the Laura Hollis I know.”

Laura hesitates as she wrings her hands together. “ _ Time travelers deserve friends and love, too,”  _ her mom had said.  And she was right. If this crazy random woman  _ was _ a time traveler...

“I wanna go to the party now coz it might end soon...”

“Then go?” Carmilla says, confused.

 

“But I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “I’ll be fine. How about I just hide in the bushes til the party ends?  That way afterwards, you’ll either find your mom’s clothes, or if I’m still around, we can go from there.”

Laura dives forward and squeezes Carmilla in a hug.  “Thank you, strange naked crazy lady in the park!”

 

She heads back to the party and when Danny sees her, something that looks like relief and happiness flashes across her face before she quickly changes it.

“Loser Laura is back,” Danny declares.

“Well, your mommy invited me,” Laura fires back.  “So are you calling your mommy a loser?”

Danny turns and sees her mother raising an eyebrow.  “Yes, Danny. Are you?” she asks, a mix of amused and teasing.

“No.”

“Good.  Because Laura is a lovely young lady who did a very tough thing, and we should all remember that and try to always be more like that,” Mrs. Lawrence replies.

Danny nods.  “Yes, mommy.”  She gets up and grabs a plate from a table, bringing it over to Laura.  “I’m sorry, Laura. Cake?”

Laura looks at it and smiles at Danny.  “Yes, please.”

 

She digs in and a few minutes later she hears her mother calling her.

“ _ Laura, honey!  Can you come over here for a second? _ ”

It takes her a bit to run over to where she hears her voice coming from, only realizing after she’s left her party napkin behind that cake is smeared on her cheek..  “Yes, mommy?”

She pauses when she sees her mother standing with the time-traveler, now dressed in different clothes and looking even older than before, and another woman.

 

Eileen laughs and kisses Laura’s clean cheek.  “You’re a mess, dear. But you’re my mess.” She hands Carmilla the camera.

“You changed your clothes,” Laura comments confused.

Carmilla and the other woman share a look.

 

“Well, uh, yeah.  Don’t you?” Carmilla asks.

Laura bunches her face up, clearly knowing something is up that she doesn’t quite understand.

“Pose for a picture with me, please?” Eileen asks.

Laura huffs.  “Another one?”

“Yes, yes.  I know. But come on, it’s a nice day.”  Eileen looks back at the other two women.  “I just love taking pictures. My husband jokes that our daughter will end up camera-obsessed like me.”

“She should be so lucky,” the other woman remarks.

 

Carmilla holds out the camera.  “La…  _ She’s _ actually a way better photographer than I am,” she comments.

The other woman slowly takes the camera, looking nervous.  Laura just wants her to hurry up and take the picture already so she can go back to her cake.

Carmilla whispers something to her and, after what seems like ages, takes the picture.

“Thank you so much,” Eileen says, taking the camera back.  “You can go back to your friends, honey.”

_ Finally. _

“Okay, mommy.  Love youuuu!” she yells as she runs off.

 

After a couple hours, Laura runs back holding a small party favor bag. Danny felt so bad she gave Laura an extra slice of cake.

Annoyed that Carmilla is  _ still _ talking to her mother with that other woman, Laura narrows her eyes.  “I thought you were supposed to hide in the bushes.”

Carmilla clears her throat when Eileen raises an eyebrow at her.

“You’re right.  Let’s go play hide-and-seek,” Carmilla manages to think up as she gestures for Laura to follow her.

 

They make it around the corner on the path, away from earshot and sight of Eileen before Laura has had enough.

“What is going on?” she growls, crossing her arms.  “I know you’re not the same crazy lady I spoke to earlier.  You’re even way older!”

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Such a charmer.” She sighs.  “Okay, look. I’m Carmilla from even further into the future than the version of me you met earlier.  So you should probably come back here for the clothes later, too, coz they also belong to your mom.”

_ Why are all these weird women borrowing my mom’s clothes? _ Laura wonders.

“And who’s the lady you’re with that’s talking to my mom?”

“Just some lady your mom met in the park,” Carmilla replies.  “Look, I know you’re not gonna listen to me but you can’t tell anyone about me.”

 

“You’re right.”  Laura is so sick of this woman and hopes she never sees her again.  “I’m not gonna listen to you.”

With that, she goes to head back to her mom.

“That was quick,” Eileen comments.

“I wanna go home now,” Laura declares before walking to leave the park, eventually followed by her mother.

 

She tries to make sense of what just happened.  How can the same woman appear at two ages at the same time?  And why was the second one acting like she was trying to hide something?  Was it about the second woman?

Laura tries, but can’t remember what the second woman talking to her mother looked like.

And as annoyed as she was by Carmilla, she couldn’t deny that she offered her some good advice and got her back to the birthday party.  So maybe she wasn’t  _ all _ bad.

 

As her mom starts preparing for dinner, Laura returns to the park to the shrubbery where she met the first Carmilla and finds a pile of clothes left behind.

She brings it to her attic, folds them neatly, and that night she eats the extra slice of cake beside the pile.  Maybe one day, that weird woman would return.


	3. Ye Olde Selfie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is at home alone and Carmilla returns to join her for dinner and an episode of Buffy. The mysterious time traveler tells Laura a little bit about her past.

**February 1998**

 

It’s been a year and a half since Laura met Carmilla in the park.  She’d started asking her mom about the time traveler but Eileen insisted that was just a lovely woman and her partner out on a stroll.

By the time she was almost seven, Laura’s insisting got more and more persistent and eventually her parents had her see a professional, since she was a bit too old to be talking so adamantly about time travel.

 

By February 1998, the family was focused on more pressing matters and Laura had stopped asking about Carmilla.  But still, she left the pile of clothes in the attic.

Just in case.

 

Her mom had another visit to the doctor’s and it was taking much longer than usual for her dad to bring her home.  She’d had some fevers lately, and other things that Laura knew she shouldn’t know about, but the whispers betrayed the secrets her parents were trying to keep from her.

The whispers increased when she had strep throat. 

 

The house phone rings.

“Hello?” she answers.

“Hi, sweetie,” her dad replies.  He sounds scared, but trying to hide it.  “I had to take mommy to the hospital for some small tests.  Absolutely nothing to worry about, okay? I promise.” A pause.  “But in case these small tests take a while, will you be okay by yourself tonight?  I can call Mrs. Lawrence to bring you to Danny’s house if you want.”

Laura mulls this over.  There’s a new episode of  _ Buffy the Vampire Slayer _ tonight, and Danny didn’t like watching that show.  “Oh. Yeah, I’ll be fine alone. Tell mommy I love her.”

“I will, honey,” Sherman says before hanging up.

 

Laura sighs and decides she needs to sit down, if only for a bit. She heads for the living room when she senses something-- or someone-- on the stairs and sees them in the corner of her eye.

“Holy poop!” she exclaims, screaming and grabbing her chest before her brain registers that it’s Carmilla.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Carmilla apologizes profusely, running down the stairs but approaching her carefully.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She looks around. “You’re home alone?”

Laura nods, eyeing Carmilla warily.  “It’s been so long, I wasn’t sure I really met you.”  She crosses her arms. “Plus, that man my mommy and daddy had me talk to told me you were an imaginary friend, different than the lady my mommy was talking to.”

Carmilla frowns.  “I told you not to tell anyone about me, you stubborn creampuff.”

With absolutely no other response ready, Laura sticks her tongue out before plopping down on the couch, glancing at the spot next to her.

 

“So how long are you here for?” Laura asks.  As much as she didn’t want to hear Danny’s comments about  _ Buffy the Vampire Slayer _ , the idea of being alone tonight wasn’t sitting well with her, either.

 

“Not sure.  Can’t control it, remember?” Carmilla replies, taking a seat beside her.  “When am I?”

Laura gives her a perplexed look.   _ What a weird question _ . “February 1998.”

Carmilla hums.

“Well, I’m here alone and my dad probably just lied to me about how bad it is with my mommy coz he doesn’t want me to worry but I doubt they’ll eat all the dinner we made, so do you want some?”

Carmilla doesn’t seem to be hearing a word Laura’s just said.   _ ANNOYING. _

 

“Hello?  Laura to Carmilla.  Are you even listening to me?”

Carmilla blinks.  “Huh? Sorry, no.”

“I was asking if you’re hungry and want dinner,” Laura repeats, annoyed as she heads off to the kitchen.  “My parents won’t be home tonight and I haven’t eaten, yet. We’ve got dinner and cupcakes for dessert.”

“Sure,” Carmilla says, following as Laura.  “Where are your parents?”

 

Laura starts putting a pan of lasagna into the oven, having already pre-heat it before her phone call with her father.  “Hospital,” she answers quietly.

Carmilla swallows hard.  “Oh.”

“Dad tells me everything will be okay.  But...” Laura sighs, closing the oven door and sets a timer.  “I’m not a dumb kid. Which I guess every dumb kid says, but… I can tell when people are holding back things.”  She smiles at Carmilla. “So thanks for being honest with me the last time we met. And telling me the truth. Even if it’s crazy and now everyone thinks I’m crazy.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “You’re welcome, cupcake.”

“You, uh, wouldn’t happen to be able to tell me if everything’s gonna be okay with my mom, right?” Laura asks shyly, but hopefully.

“I’m afraid that would be spoilers,” Carmilla replies.

 

Laura can determine the answer from the sadness in her voice and in her eyes, but she tries not to give it away.

“But I  _ can _ tell you that you’re strong enough to handle whatever the world throws at you,” Carmilla adds.

Laura pouts.  “You sound like a bad fortune cookie.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Carmilla says with a shrug and a wink.

 

The oven timer dings and Laura opens the door, grabbing the oven mitts.

“Why don’t I do the honors?” Carmilla asks.  “Don’t wanna be a bad guest.”

Laura hands her the mitts and goes to get plates and forks.  “You mean, coming down my stairs and scaring me is good guest etiquette?” she teases.

“Considering I didn’t outright rob you or beat you up or technically break into your home?  Yeah,” Carmilla replies without thinking. She turns to find a wide-eyed Laura.

 

“You’ve done those things?” Laura asks, putting down the plates and indicating where Carmilla should put down the pan.  She’s not really scared or worried, just curious. This is the first real thing Carmilla’s told her about herself.

Carmilla swallows hard.  “If I’m being honest-- yes.  Many times.” She takes the mitts off.  “I-It’s what I had to do to survive. But I promise you’re not in any danger.”

Laura knows that.  It seems that what her mother told her all those months ago in the park was true-- even time travelers need compassion.  Laura smiles. “Okay, cool.”

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together in confusion and watches as Laura begins divvying up the lasagna.  “That’s it?”

Laura frowns.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re not gonna attack me with a rolling pin and tie me to a chair and scream I’m a monster?” Carmilla clarifies.

Laura giggles.  _ She says the silliest things. _ “Would you like me to?”

 

She holds out a plate for Carmilla to take and also reaches into the fridge to get her a can of grape soda.

“I’m pretty sure if you were dangerous, you would’ve tried something by now.”  She grabs her own plate and walks past the dining table, heading back into the living room and centering a TV dinner stand so both of them can put their plates on it.  “I’m sure it can’t be easy, randomly popping up in places with no idea how long you’ll be there, without clothes or food.”

Carmilla stares at her incredulously.  “Were you born with this much ability to sympathize?”

Laura turns on the television. She doesn’t want to upset Carmilla again by mentioning that she told her mom that Carmilla is a time traveler.

“My mommy always tells me to look at everyone’s point of view and understand that my way isn’t always the only way, no matter how stubborn I am,” she says instead.

Carmilla laughs at that and settles in beside her.

 

“What are we watching?”

“It’s this new show called  _ Buffy the Vampire Slayer, _ ” Laura says, her attention turned away as the episode begins.  “I found it when I had strep throat and was looking for something to watch.”

“You had strep throat?” Carmilla asks. 

Laura waves her hand dismissively.  “Shh!”

Buffy wakes up to find an envelope on her pillow and opens it to find a drawing of herself sleeping.  Panicking, she runs to Giles to ask if there’s a way to reverse Angelus’s invitation to her house.

 

“Oh, this is the one where Jenny dies, right?” Carmilla asks, forgetting Laura had shushed her minutes before.

It takes her a few seconds to realize what Carmilla’s just said.

“Wait,  _ WHAT _ ?” Laura squeaks.

“Oh.  Oops,” Carmilla mumbles.  “Guess that’s airing right now and…. Not……. A rerun.”

There was no way they’d kill off Jenny Calendar.  Laura gapes at her. “Guess you really are a time-traveler.”

“Was that in doubt before this?” Carmilla asks, amused.

“Well, now you’re a  _ lousy _ time traveler,” Laura grumbles.  “And you don’t get to talk during this show anymore,”   _ ANNOYING. _

“Heard that one before,” Carmilla says.

Laura narrows her eyes in a glare.  “ _ ‘Spoilers _ ,’” she replies mockingly, making Carmilla laugh.

 

As requested, Carmilla stays silent for the rest of the episode, even taking Laura’s plate into the kitchen to wash it.  The episode draws to a close, with Laura’s mouth hanging open. “She’s really dead.”

Carmilla nods gravely.  “Yep. Sorry, cupcake.”

“I’d probably be a little more traumatized if someone hadn’t ruined it for me,” Laura grumbles.

“You should be grateful then,” Carmilla jokes.

Laura huffs.  She goes to get the remote to change the channel when something catches her eye.

 

“Oh!  I totally forgot.  My mom bought this Polaroid camera for me,” she says, picking it up and showing Carmilla. Her dad was always teasing her mom that Laura would end up just like her-- enamored with photography and videography. “Mind if we take a picture together?”

“Ye olde selfie,” Carmilla comments.

Laura bunches up her face in confusion.  “Huh?”

“Nothing,” Carmilla quickly says, taking the camera from Laura and doing her best to center it before taking a picture and handing it to Laura. “Laura… remember, you can’t show this to anyone, okay?”

“Okay,” Laura says.  “Even though this would  _ totally _ prove to my friends that make fun of me for having an imaginary friend.”  She sighs. “Pretty sure if I told my parents that some stranger has been time traveling in and out of the attic, they’d sell the house.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Yeah.”

So that was that.  No showing anyone this picture and no telling anyone about this visit.

 

As it develops, Laura can’t help but realize that if Carmilla knows about episodes of Buffy, then maybe…

Carmilla notices Laura staring intently at her and gives her an inquisitive look.

“We watch  _ Buffy _ together in the future?”

“I could’ve been joking,” Carmilla answers vaguely.

Laura crosses her arms.  _ She is so annoying. _ “You’re annoying.”

“I’ve also heard that one before.”  Carmilla smirks. “But… speaking of spoilers… I know the next time you’ll see me.”

“Whoa,” Laura says.  She starts to ask something, but stops herself.  “Wait. Don’t tell me.”

Carmilla blinks, surprised.  “ _ Don’t _ tell you?”

“Don’t tell me,” Laura repeats.  “As much as you surprised me, it was a nice surprise.  I want it to be a surprise next time, too.”

Carmilla seems to wrestle with this request.

 

“Promise me you won’t tell me unless I ask you?” Laura asks.

Carmilla looks the young girl in the eyes and nods hesitantly.  “Okay. I promise. But that means you’re just gonna have to leave clothes in the attic indefinitely until the next time I show up.”

Laura smiles at her.  “Cool, okay.” She bounces in place.  “I can’t wait til the day you meet my mommy and daddy.”

Because one day, it had to work out.  It  _ had _ to.

“...Yeah,” Carmilla says weirdly.  “Yeah, me neither.”

 

Laura and Carmilla channel surf until eventually Laura drifts off to sleep.

The next morning, she wakes up to see Carmilla is gone, but had apparently tucked her into bed before vanishing.

While brushing her teeth, she finds a note that reads, “ _ See you February 2nd and 27th, 1999. -Carmilla. _ ”


	4. The Bully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura gets some help from Carmilla about how to deal with a bully at school.

**February 1999**

 

Laura is waiting patiently for Carmilla to reappear in her time.  The clothes have been sitting there, but so much has happened since the last time she saw her and she just…

 

She just really needed a best friend right now.

 

And just as soon as she’s had the thought, Carmilla reappears in front of her.

Naked.

Facing the attic window directed at the street.

 

“Are you gonna keep flashing all my neighbors?” Laura demands when Carmilla doesn’t turn.

Carmilla continues staring at Laura so she decides to just hand her some clothes and turn as Carmilla puts them on.

“Uhm, how old are you?” Carmilla asks when she’s done.

“Eight.”

Carmilla hums in response.  “Have we had a picnic together yet?”

Laura shakes her head no and starts walking out of the attic and down the stairs.  She leads Carmilla down the second floor hallway and into what Carmilla her bedroom.”The last time I saw you, you left me this.”  She holds up the note Carmilla put in her pocket before tucking her in to sleep.

 

“What is it?” Carmilla asks with a frown.

Trying to wrap her mind around how weird it is to be talking to someone who’s life seems to be running in the opposite direction of hers, Laura works to remain patient.“It told me the next couple times I’d see you, and that the first would be today.  You said you got dates from—”

Carmilla clamps her hand over Laura’s mouth.  “Ah! Spoilers.”

Laura huffs, her patience running thin.  “Ahhat wen yoo sey that,” she says, muffled.  Carmilla chuckles and removes her hand. “Then we watched some TV and you disappeared.  This was like, over a year ago. Super nice of you.”

Carmilla frowns at the tone.  “You do know I can’t control when I come back to you, right?”

_ Patience gone _ .  “Yeah.  Whatever.”

 

Carmilla’s frown deepens.  “What’s with you?” she asks, obviously trying to keep the edge from her voice and instead going for a concerned tone.

Laura shrugs and walks away.  “A lot can happen in a year.” She pauses in the hallway as Carmilla lets out a sigh and follows her.

_ Mommy would be so disappointed in you for acting like this.  Just like she would be for what you did to Danny. _

“I’m sorry,” Laura finally says.  “I shouldn’t be snapping at my best friend.  Especially not over something tha—especially at you.”

 

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together, her worry growing.  “Laura.”

Laura dejectedly heads to the stairs down to the living room, willing herself not to cry.  Carmilla was probably only going to be here for a short amount of time and she didn’t want to waste a second of it crying.

“Where’s your dad?” Carmilla says hesitantly.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Laura mumbles, descending.

Carmilla joins her in the living room.

“I’ve been gone a year,” Carmilla says slowly, looking around the room.  “And I have it on good authority that something pretty major happened… in November.”

 

Laura crosses her arms and starts to walk off.  Carmilla reaches out to gently grab Laura by the arm, just to stop her, but Laura lets out a loud yelp.

“Shit!  Sorry!” Carmilla apologizes, eyes wide as she immediately steps away from Laura with her hands in the air.  “Fuck, shouldn’t have cursed, either.”

Laura holds her arm and winces.  “It’s fine.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes in suspicion.  “Okay, I haven’t known you that long, but you’re pretty much always in t-shirts or tank tops.  You’re wearing long sleeves right now that go past your hands. What gives?”

 

Laura swallows hard and reluctantly rolls up her sleeves, revealing her bare arms covered with scrapes and her hand with bruises.

Carmilla sucks in a breath, unsure of how else to react.

“You should see the other guy,” Laura giggles nervously.

“What happened?” Carmilla asks gently.

Laura lets out a long sigh and sits down on the couch, taking the sweater off to reveal a Spice Girls t-shirt underneath.

 

“My mom… died… in November,” Laura says softly, her voice cracking.  The tears she was holding back for Carmilla’s sake were threatening to fall.

“And I wasn’t here for you,” Carmilla comments.

Laura nods with a sniffle.  “Which I know you can’t control and it was dumb to get mad at you and I’m really, really sorry.”

Carmilla shakes her head.  “No need to apologize, cutie.  I’m sorry about your mom. Do you want to talk about it?”

Laura looks at her, eyes wide and welling up.

 

“I’m not really sure what happened,” Laura sobs.  “My dad mentioned something about blood thinners and she once told me she has something called… rheumatic heart disease.”  Tears roll down her face, her choked words coming out in hiccups. “She’s gone and I don’t even understand why or how.”

 

Carmilla opens her arms and the tears finally fall. Laura dives into the embrace.  Carmilla squeezes her tightly and kisses the top of her head, with Laura curling in tighter.

“I don’t have any answers for you,” Carmilla whispers.  “But I am so, so sorry, Laura. I’m sorry you lost your mom and I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“It’s okay,” Laura manages to mumble through her voice cracking.

Carmilla holds her for a while longer until Laura slowly calms down a bit and her breathing returns to normal.  She eventually lets go when Laura pulls out of the embrace with a small grateful smile.

 

“Laura… this doesn’t answer what happened to your arms and hands,” Carmilla points out gently, holding Laura’s hands in hers.

Laura lets out a shaky breath.  “It was dumb.”

Carmilla gives her a look to continue anyway.

“There’s this girl who picks on me at school.  Usually for stupid things like being short or being a geek or eating salads… But the other day she started teasing about not having a… a mom…”  Her voice cracks again and she clears her throat. “She showed me a picture of her birthday party and then pointed to her mom and told me moms are supposed to be at their kids’ birthday parties, so my last birthday party didn’t count.  And none of mine will ever count again so I’ll be stuck tiny forever.”

Carmilla’s mouth drops open.  She knew all too well that kids could be cruel, but it still hurt to hear Laura go through something so awful.

 

“So I got mad and I tackled her but we were at the top of a hill and fell down it and I scraped up my hands and arms trying to break my fall,” Laura continues.  “I mean, my dad has me taking krav maga classes, but those are supposed to be more for self defense-- not for attacking people. And I feel so bad now coz all I can hear is my mom’s voice telling me that anger and violence wasn’t the answer and…”  Her words get stuck in a choked sob. “…She’d be so ashamed of me.” 

She starts sobbing, harder this time.

“Alright, just stop all of this before I get queasy.”

Laura stares at her, taken aback by these words.

Carmilla softens her tone.  “Cupcake, you are ridiculous and headstrong, and naive, and this whole  _ Doctor Who _ companion gig is doomed, okay?  But unless you’re going around breaking and entering into homes or stealing things, nothing that’s happening right now is something your mom would be ashamed of.”

“Really?” Laura asks around a sniffle.

“Yeah,” Carmilla says with a small nod.  “My dad would’ve been ashamed of me, and my mom definitely is, so… yeah.”

 

Laura cocks her head to the side, confused.

“My dad died when I was five years old,” Carmilla says, her voice low.  “I was in a car with him and it crashed and… I traveled. For the first time.”  She swallows hard. She’d never spoken to anyone about it before—not even her mother—and certainly had never entertained speaking about it so openly and candidly.  “And after that, I traveled a lot. Pretty much in my own timeline, and into the future, when an older version of me could teach me how to survive. How to break and enter, and steal things, what have you.”

Laura watches as Carmilla speaks, her sniffling and sobs dying down.  It was as if with every visit, she was learning so much more about this mysterious time traveler than she ever thought possible.

“Then one day, when I was… I’d say eighteen or nineteen… I’d already spent about a dozen years picking fights in school and doing everything I could to show the world how angry I was with it. My mom threw me out in 2007 when I was seventeen after a huge fight and I never went back, so I was at rock bottom… And I traveled back to when I was about three years old.  Bumped right into my dad. Right after I’d stolen some booze and drunkenly tried to break into a house. My own house.”

“Oh.  Gosh.”  Laura’s eyes widen.

Carmilla nods.  “Apparently he had chrono-impairment, too.  But it was to a way lesser degree. Just like my friend Mattie.  They only travel under extreme stress or emotional situations. So he never really had to do the things I’ve had to do.”

 

“What did you do?” Laura asks.

“I looked him in the eyes… And I think he knew who I was.  But that wasn’t what got me.” Carmilla gives Laura a sad smile.  “All I saw was someone who felt pity and shame for me.” She chuckles dryly.  “I’d always seen that look from my mom—a way more angry version, but definitely a deep shame.  But never from him.”

She gives Laura a pat on the leg.

“So, chin up, buttercup.  You’re an amazing lil gal, and I promise your mom would not be ashamed of you.”

Laura looks visibly relieved.  “Cross your heart and…” She cuts herself off and clears her throat.   “Carmilla, I know I don’t know you, like,  _ that _ well… But I think you’re alright.  Your dad wouldn’t be ashamed of you.”  She dives forward and squeezes Carmilla as tightly as possible.  “He was probably just, y’know, pitying someone who broke into his house when they already had the key.”

 

Laura lets out a giggle and Carmilla chuckles.

“Yeah, sure.  That’s it.”

Laura grins and pulls away.  “Thanks, Carmilla.”

“Anytime, cutie, Plus, I’ve got my own experiences being bullied.  I know how badly it can suck. Especially when you’ve got a dead parent.”

Laura’s mouth drops open.  “Really? You were bullied, too?”

Carmilla laughs wryly.  “Being in the car accident and finding out I could time travel really messed me up and I got held back a year.  Plenty of material for bullies to use on me.”

“That sucks,” Laura replies.

“Just remember that bullies come and go.  But the strength you get from overcoming it?  That lasts forever.”

Laura nods, clearly trying to internalize this lesson.  It sounded just like something her mom would say, and that made Laura feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Carmilla frowns. “So who is this bully, anyway?  Maybe I can make sure you never see them again.”

“Ugh, she’s the worst,” Laura laments.  “Her name is Danny, and--”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “Danny  _ Lawrence _ ?”

Laura narrows her eyes.  “Uh. Yeah. Why?”

Before Carmilla can say anything, she begins to disappear.  Within a few seconds, Laura is looking down confusedly at a pile of clothes.

“Dang it, how the heck does she know who Danny Lawrence is?”


	5. The Best Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura meets Carmilla during her first time traveling back to meet Laura, who finds a way to combine a way to see her two favorite people together.

**November 1999**

 

Once again, Carmilla appears in the attic, facing the window.  At least this time it’s not in the middle of the day. Laura giggles at the memory of the last time Carmilla appeared, but Carmilla still doesn’t turn.

 

“Well, Carmilla?  Do you want the clothes, or not?”

Carmilla turns to look at Laura.

“Uhh… Laura?”

Laura bunches up her face in amusement. “ _ Uhh… Carmilla _ ?” she mocks.  “Duh, who else would it be?  I haven’t grown THAT much since the last time we saw each other!”  Laura waves the clothes at her. “Are you gonna take these or are you gonna keep standing there saying my name all confused?”

Carmilla chuckles and takes them, putting them on quickly.  “Sorry, cutie. This is my first time traveling back in time to meet you.  Hell, I  _ just _ met you in my present.”

 

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Whoa, really?”

Carmilla nods.

“So if I were to thank you for helping me with that bully, you’d have no idea what I’m talking about?” Laura concludes dejectedly.

“Sorry.  None,” Carmilla replies.  “How many times have we met?  For you, anyway.”

Laura frowns in concentration before she holds up three fingers enthusiastically.

Carmilla pretends to take a while counting them.  “Ah. Six times.”

 

Laura’s eyes widen and she checks how many fingers she’s holding up before narrowing her eyes in a glare.  “Not funny, Carmilla.”

“It’s pretty funny,” Carmilla comments.  She follows Laura outside, telling Laura that she’s grateful that Laura also gave her a jacket this time around.

Carmilla is looking around the neighborhood and Laura is growing impatient.

“Well, come on, slowpoke.  We’re gonna miss it,” Laura grumbles.  They turn a corner into a park.

“Miss what?” Carmilla asks, picking up her pace to catch up with Laura.  

“The meteor shower,” Laura answers as she leads Carmilla to a spot with a blanket and a picnic basket.

 

“Laura Hollis, is this a date?” Carmilla asks.

“Wh-WHAT?  N… No!” Laura squeaks, panic forming in her chest.  “Nuh uh! Ew.”

Carmilla laughs and gently pats Laura’s shoulder.  “Calm down, spaz. I’m just joking.”

“We gotta work on your jokes,” Laura growls, settling down on the blanket.

“I’ll make a note of that,” Carmilla deadpans as she sits down next to Laura.

 

Laura opens the basket and pulls out some sandwiches.  “My dad made them,” she says, handing one to Carmilla. “Well, I watched him make one and then after he left the house, I copied what I saw him do.”

“Crafty,” Carmilla remarks.  “Which one did you make? So I know to avoid that one.”

Laura scowls and tosses a wrapped sandwich at her.  “Next time, I’m leaving you out in your travels naked.”

Carmilla laughs and picks it up, peeling the plastic and taking a messy bite.

 

“You eat like a slob,” Laura comments, mildly disgusted.

“Happens when I eat something tasty,” Carmilla replies with a bit of food flying from her mouth.

Laura gives her a smug look.  “I made that sandwich.”

Carmilla shrugs.  “Eh, I’ve had better.”

Laura crosses her arms.

Carmilla gives her a small nudge.  “Lighten  _ up _ , cupcake.  Thank you for the clothes and the food.”

“Sorry,” Laura sighs.  “I think I’m just in a bad mood coz…”  She stops herself and shakes her head. “Never mind.”

“What?” Carnilla asks softly.

Laura shakes her head again, taking a large bite from her own sandwich.

 

Carmilla decides to let it go.

_ I wonder, if I made better sandwiches, maybe dad would spend more time at home with me _ , Laura wonders, vaguely aware that Carmilla is asking her something but unable to focus on the question.   _ I hope my mommy likes these sandwiches, at least. _

“Do you really like that sandwich?” Laura asks, suddenly very shy.

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together in confusion.  “Yeah.”

Laura nods and fixes her gaze on her sandwich, visibly relieved.  “Okay.”

“Unless you think your future is in a deli, not really sure why you’re so concerned, cutie,” Carmilla tries gently.

 

Laura looks up, eyes sad.  “Promise you won’t make fun of me?  No more jokes?”

“Cross my heart, hope to die,” Carmilla replies.

Whatever emotions Laura had been holding in, come pouring out without restraint in hiccupping wails.   _ For someone who didn’t want to waste Carmilla’s time crying, you’re sure doing a lot of it. _

Carmilla’s eyes widen in panic.  “What?” she asks frantically.

“Today’s the anniversary of the day my mom died,” Laura blubbers.  “After you disappear again, I’m gonna bring another sandwich and leave it at her grave so she’s not hungry.”

Carmilla watches as Laura pulls another sandwich out from the basket.

“I wanted to make it myself bu-but… I just realized I don’t wanna give her a crappy sandwich,” Laura sniffles.

 

“Laura, Laura,” Carmilla rushes out.  “I was teasing, okay? And it was a lame joke.  I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She swallows hard.  “I swear, your sandwich tastes great. She’s gonna love it.”

Laura’s still sobbing.  “Y-You sure?”

Carmilla nods.  “Yes, cupcake.”

“Oh, I brought those, too,” Laura mumbles, slowly calming down.  “I made them myself, too. But I followed her recipe, so I’m not worried about how those taste.”

 

Carmilla chuckles softly.  “Better make sure, though, no?”

Laura grins and lets out a sobbed laugh.  “A time traveler  _ and _ a mind reader.”  She brings out a couple cupcakes and gives one to Carmilla.

Carmilla taps hers against Laura’s.  “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Laura says, her voice slightly raspy.

They both take a bite into their respective cupcakes.

 

“Really fluffy and the perfect amount of sweet,” Carmilla says, crumbs flying from her mouth.

Laura cracks a large smile before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“What?” Carmilla asks.

“You’ve got frosting all over your nose,” Laura continues laughing, handing her a napkin.  “You’re a mess.”

Carmilla shrugs sheepishly as she wipes her face.  “Maybe go lighter on the frosting next time.”

Laura gasps overdramatically.  “Blasphemy!”

“Dork.”  Carmilla lightly tosses the used napkin at her, smiling as Laura squeaks.

 

They finish their sandwiches and cupcakes, sitting in silence for a bit as they look up at the sky and the stars twinkling in the darkness.

“I thought you said we might miss the meteor shower,” Carmilla eventually comments.

“I may have been overly excited,” Laura sheepishly admits with a blush.

Carmilla chuckles before looking pensive.  “I have an idea. Why don’t we go visit your mom now?  Give you more time with her?”

Laura lights up.  “Really? You don’t mind?”

Carmilla shakes her head.  “I’ve got nothing but time, cutie.”

Laura beams at her and packs up the basket, happily bouncing with it at her side as Carmilla follows after her, amused.

 

“You know that thing is bigger than you are, right?” she hears Carmilla tease.

Laura turns and narrows her eyes in a glare.  “When I’m older, I’ll be taller than you, and then you’ll regret it.”

Carmilla clicks her tongue.  “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news…”

“Liar!” Laura snaps.

“Believe what you want, Shorty,” Carmilla says with a snicker.

“Good thing I have no expectations for you being chivalrous,” Laura grumbles.  “Or I would’ve been hoping you’d carry this basket for me instead of mocking me carrying it.”

Carmilla shrugs.  “Did it ever occur to you that the reason you turn out so short is coz you’re too stubborn to let others carry things for you?”

Laura stops short.  “Did it ever occur to you that if a Shorty like me is saying that’s a low blow, it must be  _ real _ low?”

Carmilla laughs at that.  “Fine, fine. I’ll ease up on the teasing.”

Laura doesn’t really mind the teasing, but their silent walk feels comfortable enough.

 

Carmilla finally speaks as they near the cemetery.  “You mentioned something about bullying? I dunno how long it’s been since you last saw me but is that still going on?”

“No,” Laura says.  “It’s been a few months.”

Carmilla frowns.  “Wait a minute. When I got here, you were waiting for me.  How’d you even know to do that?”

Laura smirks.  “Spoilers.” Her eyes widen.  “Huh. I wonder if that’s where you got it from.”

“I guess now we’ll never know,” Carmilla comments.

 

As they pass the gates to the cemetery, Laura stops speaking again.  She’s done a few visits with her father, but this feels different.

Carmilla gently takes the basket when they reach a particularly hilly area and Laura smiles gratefully at her.

After some slight maneuvering to get the picnic basket over some headstones, they stop in front of one with an epitaph that reads,

“ _ EILEEN JANAE HOLLIS _

_ January 27, 1962 - November 23, 1996 _

_ Beloved mother and wife.  With a heart too big for this world. _ ”

 

Laura carefully places a blanket before the headstone and reaches out a shaking hand to touch the cold rock.

“Hi, mom,” she says softly.  “I know I was just here a couple months ago, but I brought someone with me this time.”  She gestures for Carmilla to come closer, and she does, putting down the basket carefully.  “I’ve already told you about her. Carmilla.”

Carmilla clears her throat awkwardly.  “Hi, Mrs. Hollis.”

“She’d insist you call her Eileen,” Laura whispers.

“Sorry—Hi, Eileen,” Carmilla apologizes.

 

Laura pulls out a sandwich.  “I tried really hard to make this as tasty as possible,” she says, laying it in front of the headstone.  “And here’s a cupcake. Made exactly to your recipe. I know you always said I’d probably be able to improve on it and make it better, but I don’t know…”

She puts down a cupcake, too.

“Danny stopped bullying me.  She said she thinks we’re best friends,” Laura continues, sitting cross-legged and patting the spot beside her for Carmilla to join her.  “I told her I already have one.”

She grins at Carmilla, who chuckles.

“Whoa, whoa.  I  _ just _ met you, remember?”

Laura nods.  “I know, I know.  I don’t have to be  _ your _ best friend.  You’re mine and that’s more than good enough for me.”

“You’re quite the adorable little charmer, you know,” Carmilla comments.

“That’s what my dad says, too,” Laura says, unashamed.

 

Carmilla nudges Laura lightly and points to the sky.

The meteor shower has started and the streams reflect in Laura’s wide eyes.  Her mouth drops open in awe. “It’s beautiful,” she exhales.

“It really is,” Carmilla breathes out in wonder.

“Make a wish, Carmilla,” Laura whispers.

Carmilla chuckles.  “That’s just for shooting stars, hon.”

Laura rolls her eyes.  “Fine. No wishes for you.”

 

She closes her eyes and her lips move, but Carmilla doesn’t bother trying to read them.

“And I’m not telling you my wish,” Laura says, eyes still closed.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Of course you wouldn’t.”

 

After a few more seconds of repeating her wish, Laura finally opens her eyes, only to find a pile of clothes left behind.  No Carmilla.

“Hey, mom?” Laura says, carefully folding the clothes.  “I know I’m not supposed to tell anyone my wish. But I figure it doesn’t really count. …Not just coz you’re gone, but, y’know, coz I just wished on a bunch of meteors?”

She giggles and opens the basket, putting the clothes inside.

“I wished Carmilla and I could be friends forever.  Across time. Even if I’m never her best friend. I just want her in my life.”

Laura lets out a small sigh.

“That’d be nice.”


	6. The Other Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura makes a horrifying discovery about Carmilla.

**September 2000**

 

It’s been a while since Laura saw Carmilla.  

The pain of losing her mother has dulled a bit.

In that time, she’s added  _ Charmed _ ,  _ Xena _ , and course more  _ Buffy _ paraphernalia to her life.  She’s also found a lovely picture of the picture some lady at the park took of her and her mother and put that up, along with countless others.  Her krav maga lessons are going well, with quite a few belts having been obtained in the past few years.

 

She got a computer in her room, too.

And through it all, since she’s not allowed to talk about Carmilla without raising all sorts of alarms, Laura begins wondering if she’s just been making up her encounters with Carmilla in her head.

But she knows she didn’t.  Carmilla is her best friend.

 

One day, Laura comes home from school and does her obligatory call to her father.

“Hey, dad.”

“ _ Hi, honey.  Get in okay? _ ”

Laura braces herself.  “Yep! I’m home from school.  So, Danny was wondering if I could go see her play in her baseball game later...”

Sherman cuts her off. “ _ No, you may not. _ ”

Laura huffs.  “But why not? It’s not like I have strep throat anymore! And she said her mom could pick me up on the way and then drop me off after--”

“-- _ Because, those balls can pop up and they’re dangerous and you’re already accident prone.  Plus, you could get snatched right off the bleachers! So, no. _ ”

Laura’s hands balls into fists.  “Fine. Bye.” She slams the telephone receiver onto the cradle and stomps out of the kitchen.

 

“Bad time?” a voice asks, making Laura jump and grab her chest.  She turns and realizes it’s Carmilla.

“Sorry,” she says, chuckling, “guess it  _ is _ a bad time, after all.”

Laura shakes her head immediately.  “No! It’s great to see you! I keep thinking maybe I did make you up in my head.”  She runs over to Carmilla excitedly with a beaming smile. “It’s been forever.”

Carmilla holds out her arms and Laura runs into them, squeezing her in a hug.  “I’m as real as you, cutie,” she says.

 

“The last time I saw you, you didn’t gimme a date when you’d come back. You said it was the first time you ever traveled back to meet me,” Laura says, taking a step back.

Carmilla laughs softly.  “Yeah, that was about five years ago for me.”

“So weird.”  Laura frowns before getting over it within seconds with a shrug.  “Want a snack?” she asks, already heading back to the kitchen. “My sandwich making skills are  _ way _ better.”

“Sure,” Carmilla replies.  “Time traveling works up an appetite.”

Laura starts getting some ingredients.  “How long have you been here?”

“Couple hours.”

 

Laura’s eyes widen.   _ She was upstairs… where my bedroom is… where my computer is… where I’ve been backing up my journal as a digital copy…  _ “Wait.  Where were you upstairs for the past couple hours?”   
Carmilla grins mischievously.  “Your bedroom. Nice computer. And even nicer AIM screenname.  Laura2theletter?”

Laura covers her face, flustered.  “Y-You didn’t go through my files, did you?”

“Why?” Carmilla asks teasingly, a glint in her eye.  “Something there you don’t want me to see?”

Laura’s blushing profusely, flustered and dropping some cold cuts.  “N...N-No!”

 

“I didn’t look,” Carmilla swears.  “I promise.”

“C-Cross your heart!” Laura yells.

Carmilla laughs but does as asked.  “Alright, alright. Don’t have a conniption.  I’ll be quiet and let you focus on making snacks.”

”Stupid time traveler,” Laura grumbles.

They settle down in the living room, quietly chewing as Laura pops in a  _ Buffy _ DVD.

“No spoilers,” Laura warns.  She still hasn’t recovered from the Jenny Calendar incident.

“Promise,” Carmilla replies.

She finishes her roast beef, ham, lettuce, and cheese sandwich first, moving onto an orange and a bag of chips Laura has also supplied for her.

 

“So your dad won’t let you go hang out after school, huh?” Carmilla asks, peeling the sticker off the apple and sticking it to Laura’s cheek.

Laura giggles and peels the sticker off her own apple and puts it on Carmilla’s forehead.  “No. He’s afraid I’m gonna get kidnapped from the bleachers.” She angrily finishes off her sandwich.  “As if I haven’t been taking self-defense classes since I could walk!”

“Ah.  Krav maga, right?  Among others.”

It’s kinda cool that Carmilla knows some things about Laura that she doesn’t expect her to know.  “That one’s my favorite,” Laura replies.

 

She eats her chips and then her apple before a thought occurs to her.

“Did you see my camera setup?”  Laura had fully embraced her mother’s favorite hobby and was passionately trying to pursue it as much as she could.

Carmilla nods.  “Super high-tech.”

Laura beams proudly.  “I’m starting this thing called video blogging!--  Vlogging.”

She stands up and turns off the TV.

“Yeah, that’s still a thing in 2018--”

Laura’s so excited to do a vlog with Carmilla that she is already up the stairs.  “Good! Then you already know the drill! Let’s go!”

 

Laura starts dragging a second chair to the computer in her room and accidentally bumps her desk with the second chair in her excitement.  She begins fumbling with the camera when Carmilla finally enters.

“Ugh, do we have to?” she groans.

“It’s for posterity!” Laura insists, moving some wires around.

Carmilla sighs as Laura gestures for her to sit beside her.  “Posterity can bite me.”

 

Laura finally manages to clear the space up and picks up the camera.  It focuses on her and a slightly off-centered Carmilla and Laura.

“Hello, gentle viewers! I’m Laura Hollis.  I’m nine years old.”

She lightly nudges Carmilla, who sighs again.  The stickers are still on their faces.

“I’m Carmilla Karnstein.  I’m twenty seven.”

“The year is 2000,” Laura states in a matter-of-fact tone.  “ We’re filming this for Future Laura and Past Carmilla.”  She waves.

Carmilla continues to glare into the camera.

“Wave!” she demands, elbowing Carmilla.

Carmilla scowls down at Laura.  “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she grumbles before she plasters on a fake smile and waves over-enthusiastically.

“Hollstein, out,” Laura says.  She fumbles with the camera and the recording ends.

 

“Hollstein?” Carmilla asks.

Laura nods.  “Sure! All the best duos are getting called things with their names mashed together.”

“Why is it ‘Hollstein’ and not ‘Karnlis?’”

Laura bunches up her face in thought and then bunches it up further in annoyance when she doesn’t have a good response.  “Coz it sounds dumb.”

“You sound dumb,” Carmilla fires back immaturely.

Laura stares at her, taken aback.  “How old are you?” she snaps.

“Weren’t you listening to me while we were recording the video?” Carmilla teases, taking the sticker off her forehead and putting it on Laura’s cheek.  “I’m twenty seven.”

“You’re annoying, is what you are.”

“So I’ve been told.”

 

Laura rolls her eyes and goes back to eating her bag of chips.

When she finishes it, she goes to the bathroom to wash her hands and returns.

“Mind if we take a picture together?” Laura asks.  “The only one I have of us is a Polaroid and I think that’ll fade over the years.”

Carmilla nods.  “Still pretty ‘ye olde selfie’ of us.”

“I still have no idea what that means,” Laura frowns.

Carmilla laughs and takes a couple pictures on Laura’s digital camera.  One is purposely taken before Laura is even ready. One is a goofy picture.  And one is a “normal” one.

 

“You know, I feel like you’re always asking me about my life.  What’s going on in yours?” Laura asks.

Carmilla shrugs.  “Nothing to spoil home about.”

Laura frowns.  “Friends? Family?  I mean, I know you told me about your dad...”

“Mother and I don’t talk. For the most part. I have a friend who’s also a time traveler and we work together at a library.  She’s like a sister to me. Her name is Mattie.”

“But you’re such an awesome person,” Laura frets, her frown deepening.  “All you’ve got is an estranged mother and one friend?”

Carmilla gives another noncommittal shrug.  

 

Laura doesn’t seem satisfied with the vague response, but doesn’t know how to proceed with getting a better answer.  Then something catches her eye.

“You’re married?!”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “Wh-What?”

Laura points at Carmilla’s finger.  “There’s a part that’s lighter than the rest!  You have a tanline from a wedding band, don’t you?”

“N...No...” Carmilla replies hesitantly.

“Don’t lie to me!” Laura yells. Suddenly she’s reminded of all the times her father lied to her about the truth about her mother’s worsening condition. “You’re married, aren’t you?!”

Carmilla swallows hard.  “Okay, look, that’s sp--”

“Spoilers, yeah, yeah,” Laura growls, standing up.  So many angry thoughts whirl through her mind. She huffs. “You know, I was hoping maybe you’d be married to...”

“To…?” Carmilla asks, trying to keep the teasing out of her tone.

“T-To no one!” Laura shouts, heading for the door.  She whirls around. “And don’t even think about following me!  Go away, Carmilla.  Go run and hide.  We’re done.”

With that, Laura storms downstairs.

 

She knows she already has some  _ Buffy _ eps recorded on VHS in the VCR and just hits the play button from wherever she left off.

It’s just background noise for her to work through her angry impulses, just like her mother used to tell her to do, trying to teach her compassion and patience.

 

First of all, it was easy to recognize that she was jealous of Carmila’s wife.  Laura crosses her arms and imagines some ugly, mean woman.  _ Warts on the outside, terror on the inside _ .

 

_ Not helpful, Hollis _ , Laura chastises herself.

 

After all, how could someone as amazing Carmilla ever marry someone like her?

 

But knowing Carmilla flat-out lied to her, to her face, after knowing what she went through with her dad and with her mom, that hurt more than knowing she’d never get the woman she had a crush on.

 

Then again, would she ever be anywhere near deserving of Carmilla if she stormed off and treated her like this?  Even in terms of just being her best friend, Carmilla deserves better than that.

 

With a sigh, Laura turns off the TV and heads back upstairs.  Her heart sinks when she realizes her bedroom is empty.

There’s a an envelope made from printer paper sitting on her desk, with a note reading, “ _ Laura - Please don’t open. And please give this to me the next time we meet, _ ” on the envelope.

 

Laura lets out a long sigh and takes her computer off sleep mode to see she has a new email.  From herself.

It reads,

“ _ See you November 13, 2001, creampuff. _

_ -Carm. _ ”

Laura lets her head fall to the desk with a thud and she groans.  It was going to be a  _ long _ fourteen months.


	7. The Mail Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura delivers a letter to Carmilla sent from Carmilla's future self. The two decide to hang out outside the house.

**November 2001**

 

Those fourteen months flew by.  Her father stopped being home for dinner.  Mrs. Lawrence took Laura in and she and Danny would go to their house after school, doing homework and having dinner before Mrs. Lawrence dropped Laura off at home.  To an empty house.

Sherman even stopped putting up a fight and let Laura go see all of Danny’s baseball games.

 

But then Laura got strep throat and he took some time off.  After she recovered, Sherman told Laura he was sorry he was missing so much time with her.  He seemed really scared and in the past couple weeks, made an effort to at least be home for dinner.  So Laura would just go home with Danny and then head home earlier.

 

Except Laura’s had this date marked on her calendar and this time she made sure she was home.  The only problem was her homework assignments needed her to do research on the Internet, and her computer was not in the attic.  So she stayed in her bedroom and hoped Carmilla would make her way down on her own.

 

It’s early evening when she has a passing thought about craving apple cider.

“Hey,” Carmilla says carefully as she turns into Laura’s bedroom, fully clothed.

“Oh!  Hey,” Laura says after jumping a bit.  “Sorry, I was gonna wait for you in the attic when I saw you hadn’t traveled back here yet when I got home from school, but I needed the computer for homework.”

Carmilla chuckles, looking at the clunky computer.  “It’s fine.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was still mad at you,” Laura says.

Carmilla frowns.  “Why would you be mad at me?”

 

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Oh. Uh. No reason. No spoilerish reason at all…”  She laughs nervously. “Guess you’re younger than 27, huh?”

“I’m 26,” Carmilla replies.

“Noted,” Laura says, turning on a camera she has nearby.  “That means you haven’t done the first vlog yet.”

Carmilla shakes her head, sitting down on a chair Laura pulls over for her.

 

Laura begins recording and clears her throat.  “Hi, lovely viewers! I’m Laura Hollis.  I’m ten years old.”

“I’m Carmilla Karnstein.  I’m twenty-seven.”

“Wow, you’re a natural!” Laura declares proudly.  She turns back to the camera. “It’s November 13, 2001.”

Laura stands up and goes to her bookcase, reaching between two books and pulling out an envelope.  She hands it to Carmilla, who looks it over. The handwriting is definitely hers, and reads,  “ _ Laura - Please don’t open. And please give this to me the next time we meet. _ ”

She flips it over and finds that it hasn’t been opened.

Laura huffs.  “I may have been mad at you, but I’m not rude and nosey.  Or… at least, not  _ that _ rude and nosey!”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Sorry, sorry.”

“But I  _ am _ curious,” Laura says excitedly, bouncing onto her bed.  “I’ve been waiting over a year to find out what’s inside!”

 

“Who says I’m gonna read this out to you?” Carmilla teases.

Laura narrows her eyes.  “Fine. Next time you need someone to deliver your own mail to you throughout time, find someone else.”

“Doesn’t seem like a fair trade for me at all,” Carmilla continues, opening the envelope.

Laura rolls her eyes, but stays put on the bed.

 

“ _ Hi, Past Me, _ ” Carmilla decides to read out loud.  She would just cut herself off if it ventured into spoilers territory for Laura.  “ _ I know we’ve taken a firm stance against spoilers in the past.  But every iteration of us have all seemed to agree that this one little spoiler is fine, because it’ll give us the nudge we need. _

_ Propose. _ ”

Carmilla’s breath catches in her throat.

Her eyes scan the rest of the page and, while it seems to definitely be in spoiler territory for  _ her _ , it’s left vague for Laura’s sake.

 

“ _ Propose, but do it when it feels right.  You’re gonna need to go back to the bookshare and find a copy of  _ Worthy of Trust and Confidence, _ by Kara A. McLeod _ .   _ Pretty sure you can figure out what to do from there.  It’s what we’ve always done and what we’ll always do because, no matter where or when, this is the only person who will always be your home.  She’ll always be your reason to stay. She’ll always be the place you travel back to. We’ve known that, we’ve always known that. _ ”

Carmilla swallows hard.

“ _ You’re scared reading this.  You’re gonna be scared doing it, too.  But she’ll be there for you, as she always is, to build you up and show you how strong you can be.  So… Propose. _

_ Yours, _

_ Future You. _ ”

 

Carmilla re-reads the note to herself a couple times before looking up and finding Laura watching her.

“You really love your wife, huh?” Laura says quietly.  “Or… Future Wife?”

Carmilla cocks her head to the side.  “You don’t seem surprised that I’ll be married.”

Laura laughs sheepishly.  “Spoilers?”

Carmilla hums.

 

Laura chews her lip and regards Carmilla carefully.  “Why would you be scared reading that letter or about proposing?” she asks gently.

 

“I guess… I don’t think I’m good enough to marry her,” Carmilla replies honestly.  “She’s so good, and strong, and kind. And I don’t deserve that.”

“Yes, you do,” Laura replies.  “I don’t know her, but I do know you and you’re also good and strong and kind.”

Carmilla laughs, but Laura can’t really understand why.  “All I can say is… she believes in people. She makes them better.  All I do is make things worse.”

Laura shakes her head.  “You helped me with the bullying thing after only meeting me a couple times,” she points out, patting the space beside her on the bed.  Carmilla obligingly gets up from her chair and sits next to her. “And you watch TV with me even though you’ve apparently seen these episodes already in the future.  You’re my best friend for a reason. You make  _ my _ life better.  Why shouldn’t that be something good?”

“You’re an awesome little creampuff, y’know that?” Carmilla replies.

 

Laura laughs.  “Nah, I’m nothing special.”

“You  _ are _ special,” Carmilla comments.

“There you are, being kind again,” Laura says lightly.  She hops off her bed and brings her camera over. “Oh, this has been recording this whole time,” she realizes sheepishly.  She stops the video. “Feeling up to another picture for the album?”

Carmilla frowns.  “You have enough of a collection for an album?”

“Well, it’s like, only four right now,” Laura says, “so I guess I’m  _ trying _ to start an album.”  She gets back onto the bed.  “Which no one else will see, obviously.”

Laura hands Carmilla the camera and she takes a couple-- one where Laura is hugging her, and one where they’re just sitting side-by-side.

“When were the other three taken?” Carmilla asks.

“September of 2000,” Laura replies.  She opens a small album and shows Carmilla.

 

The first photo is the Polaroid after Laura watched  _ Buffy _ with Carmilla in February of 1998.  The next set are ones Carmilla doesn’t recognize, but she did see during her quick scan of Laura’s future full album.

One is with a grinning Carmilla and a blurry Laura in motion.  One is of Laura sticking her tongue out while Carmilla pretends she’s asleep.  And one is of them simply posing regularly.

“We took these last time I saw you,” Laura explains.

“Guessing this is before you got mad at me,” Carmilla replies lightly.

Laura pouts.  “I know you haven’t lived through that yet,” she says, “but I’m sorry.  I’ll get over it eventually.”

“You’re not over it after a year?” Carmilla asks, confused.

Laura laughs nervously and shrugs.  “I’m not sure I’ll ever be over it. But it’s fine.  Gotta learn to live with… certain things.”

 

“Hmm.”  Carmilla seems to try and figure out what could’ve possibly made Laura this upset.  “Well, in the meantime,” she says, standing up, “why don’t we fill up your album a bit more?”

Laura perks up.  “With what?”

“I dunno.  I never really had a chance to take pictures growing up,” Carmilla replies.  “Not, uh, too plentiful in the friendship department.”

Laura gasps, horrified.  “Let’s go do friend things!”

She grabs Carmilla’s hand and starts heading downstairs, before running back past her and heading upstairs to the attic.

There’s some rummaging and a couple minutes later, Laura returns with a light jacket.

“Don’t want you to get sick,” she says, tossing the jacket at Carmilla and dashing downstairs to grab her own off the coat hook.

 

Carmilla chuckles and follows Laura outside.

The crisp autumn weather feels refreshing and good.

 

“There’s a nice stand on that corner that sells great hot apple cider,” Laura says.

“Okay.  I’ll let you know if I feel myself traveling.  Lead the way,” Carmilla says with a bow.

Laura giggles and they make their way over to the front of the small grocery store.

“Hello, dear,” Mrs. Lawrence greets.  A lot of parents take shifts after school to help make the neighborhood more friendly and safe for kids who want to hang out.

“Hi, Mrs. Lawrence.  Can I get two small apple ciders, please?” Laura says, pulling out a Lois Lane-decorated wallet.

She and fills up two cups out of the dispenser.  She hands them both to Carmilla, watching as Laura hands her money.

 

“Is this your baby-sitter?” Mrs. Lawrence asks, counting out the change.  “I’ve never seen her around before. I thought your father didn’t trust strangers to watch after a young lady as capable as yourself.  Even when you had strep throat.”

Laura laughs weakly.  “No, my dad still doesn’t want anyone taking care of me.  Why do you think I’m the one paying for her apple cider?”

Mrs. Lawrence looks inquisitively at Carmilla.

“She’s wondering why a random twenty-seven-year-old woman is with you, sweetheart,” Carmilla carefully says to Laura.

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Oh.”

 

Mrs. Lawrence clears her throat pointedly.  “And the answer would be…?“

“School project,” Carmilla lies with ease.  “She’s recording people passing through the neighborhood.  The apple cider is my payment.”

Laura holds up her small digital camera as proof.

“Ah.  Okay,” Mrs. Lawrence says, seemingly satisfied.  “Well, if you have time after this project, feel free to drop by the house for dinner with us and Danny.”

“My dad’ll be home for dinner!” Laura beams.  “He’s gotten better at that.”

Mrs. Lawrence smiles at her.  “I’m very happy to hear that, Laura.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Lawrence,” Laura says sweetly.  “See ya!”

Carmilla gives an awkward wave and trails after Laura.

 

“You lie really well,” Laura whispers, even though they’ve crossed the street.

Carmilla scoffs and hands Laura her drink.  “I have told you I’ve done things like rob people, right?  You’re really surprised that lying is in my repertoire?”

Laura frowns at her defensiveness.  “I didn’t mean it as an insult. I meant… Good job with the quick thinking.”

“Ah, sorry.  Thanks,” Carmilla says, as Laura hands her the camera.  She snaps a quick picture of them together.

 

After Laura approves of it, Carmilla takes a sip from her cup.  “This  _ is _ some good cider.  I should ask Danny to steal the recipe and make it.”

Laura chokes on her drink and Carmilla looks at her in worry.

“Y-You know Danny?” Laura says between coughs.

“Oh, fuck,” Carmilla mumbles, continuing to walk.

Laura winces and runs to catch up.  “Language! I’m only ten, y’know.”

Carmilla chuckles and doesn’t slow her pace. “Sorry.”  She takes another sip. “Uhm. Yes. I know Danny.”

 

“You know her in my future, or…?”

Carmilla takes a long sip, and then keeps going until her cup is empty, slowing her pace.

“Quit stalling,” Laura huffs, still running to keep up with her.

Carmilla chuckles as she throws away the cup in a trash can.

 

“I’m not stalling,” she says.  “I was trying to get to these bushes to hide in.”

Laura looks at her in confusion before realizing what Carmilla means.

“See you in April 2002,” she says with a wink as she backs into the greenery.

Laura sighs when she hears clothes hit the ground.

“You totally  _ were _ stalling,” she grumbles.


	8. The Imaginary Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla asks Laura for some advice. Another trip to the park gets complicated.

**April 2002**

 

“Fuck,” Carmilla curses when she realizes she’s traveled again.

“Watch your language, please!  Still pretty young over here,” Laura says, not looking up from her homework.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Sorry. I... Sorry.”

Laura stands up.  “I was just joking, Carm.  I’ll go get you some clothes.”

She leaves and reappears a little while later and goes back to doing homework.

“My dad’s downstairs,” Laura says, returning to her homework.  “So we’re gonna have to be sneaky.”

“Sneak away,” Carmilla replies, awkwardly trying to get her leg into the pants as she leans against Laura’s bed.

 

A couple minutes pass by before Laura realizes it’s quiet behind her and she turns.

“Oh, gosh, how long have you just been standing there?” Laura asks.

“Not long,” Carmilla shrugs.  “Just, uh… don’t wanna infringe...”

Laura shakes her head.  “Nah, it’s Saturday. I can finish it tomorrow.”  She stands up and goes to her window. “Dad’s doing garden work behind the house.  We can sneak you outta here and have some fun in the neighborhood if you want?”

Carmilla’s mind seems to wander for a bit before she snaps out of it.  “Sure. I could use some fun.”

 

Laura fetches a light jacket from the attic for Carmilla and they quietly head downstairs.

Carmilla ducks out the front door while Laura heads to the door to the backyard.

“Hey, dad, I’m gonna go get some air, okay?” she tries to say casually.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sherman asks.

Laura sighs.  “I’ll be with Danny and her mom, okay?”

“Okay.  Call me if you need anything.”

“Yes, dad.”

 

Laura heads back to the front door where Carmilla is waiting.

“You still need to tell me how you know Danny,” Laura insists as they begin walking down the street.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Persistent little thing, aren’t you?”  She clicks her tongue. “All I’ll tell you is Danny is still around in your future.”

“Wanna vague that up for me?” Laura grumbles.

Carmilla laughs again as Laura leads them into the park towards a hot dog stand.

 

“Are you hungry?” Laura asks.

“You don’t have to keep spending money on me,” Carmilla comments.  “I’ve done some pretty rotten things in my life, I don’t want to add ‘taking the allowance from an eleven year old’ to the list.”

Laura waves her hand dismissively.  “My dad gives me a huge allowance but I don’t spend it on much.  It’s fine.”

She buys them a couple hot dogs with all the fixins after she sends Carmilla to sit down at a bench to wait so they can avoid awkward questions like with the apple cider.

 

“So, how’s the future?” Laura asks as they start eating.

Carmilla laughs ruefully.  “It sucks, to be honest.”

Laura frowns.  “How so? Gimme the deets.”

“You know, only a dork says ‘deets.’”

“Then I guess I’m a dork,” Laura quips.  “Do you wanna vent, or not?”

Carmilla chuckles but shrugs.  “The chrono-impairment is really getting to my wife and I.  I’m traveling more for some reason than I was five years ago.  She barely sees me for days or even weeks at a time. Or more.”

“Ah, I know the feeling.  Too bad I can’t talk to her,” Laura remarks.

 

Carmilla looks amused before her eyes widen.  “Laura… if you  _ could _ give my wife advice,” she says slowly, “what would you say?”

Laura chews thoughtfully.  _ How am I supposed to know?  I don’t even know her wife! _ “How long have you two been together?”

“A little over five years.”

“And I assume she knows about you time traveling?”

Carmilla nods.

“Is she upset about you traveling?” Laura asks.

“No. If anything, I’ve always been more upset about it than she’s ever been.”

Laura hums.  “I’m not really sure there’s anything I can really tell her, then.  It doesn’t sound like she’s the one who needs advice or reassuring.”

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together in confusion.

 

“So you’ve told me you don’t think you’re good enough for her,” Laura says.  “Is it coz you’re not around?”

Carmilla looks taken aback for a moment.  “That’s part of it, yeah.”

“Well, speaking as someone who you’re not around for all the time, either,” Laura says carefully, “It doesn’t upset me that you’re not always physically here.  You always come back to me. And when you are here, you give me your full attention. So as long as you always go back to her and give her your full attention, you don’t have to worry you’re not good enough.  You’re here and you stay and that’s what matters.”

 

Carmilla chuckles.  “Laura Hollis, you are wise beyond your years.”

“Maybe I’m actually a time traveler, too,” Laura teases.

 

Her cell phone rings and she frowns at the caller ID.

“Hi, dad?”

“ _ WHERE ARE YOU? _ ” Sherman bellows from the other end.

Laura winces.  “With… Dan--”

“ _ DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME AGAIN YOUNG LADY! _ ” Sherman yells.  “ _ I HAVE DANNY AND HER MOTHER RIGHT HERE BECAUSE THEY STOPPED BY WITH THE OTHERS TO ASK IF YOU WANTED TO GO TO THE MALL. _ ”

Laura looks over and Carmilla can clearly hear Sherman too because they share a frightened look.

“ _ This is why I installed GPS on your phone! _ ” Sherman growls.

“Wh-What?” Laura yelps.  “You did  _ what _ ?”

 

“ _ Why the hell are you in the park by yourself? _ ” Sherman demands.

Carmilla and Laura turn in horror as they hear angry footsteps approach.

Sherman is leading the charge, with Mrs. Lawrence behind him, and three young redheads. He flips his phone closed. “Who is this?” he shouts.

“Wait.  Isn’t this the random lady you used for your class project?” Mrs. Lawrence asks.  “The class project that apparently didn’t exist?”

Laura swallows hard as Carmilla looks over to her.

“Yeah, a lot can happen in half a year,” Laura mumbles in shame.  “Like me getting caught in our lie.”

“You’re useless without me,” Carmilla teases.

“Who. Is. This?” Sherman growls.

 

Laura looks over at Carmilla, who lets out a long sigh.  “My name is Carmilla.”

 

Sherman stares at her confused as if he should know what that means.  The realization dawns on him.

“Wait.  Wasn’t Carmilla the name of your imaginary friend when you were…”

“--Too old for imaginary friends?” Laura finishes.  “Yes. I was too old for them. Because she’s real. Not just some woman mom also met in the park.”

Sherman scoffs.  “You expect me to believe that this woman is the time traveler from the future?”

Carmilla throws up the “rock on” sign.  “‘Carmilla’ is shorter to say.”

 

“Look-- whoever you are-- get the hell away from my daughter,” Sherman snarls in Carmilla’s face.  Carmilla narrows her eyes in a glare.

“Dad, back off,” Laura says, standing up and getting between them.  “She’s my friend.”

Sherman laughs ruefully.  “It is my job to protect you.  That’s what I’m doing.”

“I don’t need this much protection!  Otherwise, what’s the point of the past bajillion years of Krav maga classes?” Laura snaps.  “What do you expect me to do? In the course of my lifetime you have “protected” me from polyester--”

“They have those carcinogens, they leech into your skin,” Sherman replies.

Laura rolls her eyes.  “Swimming holes.”

“The amoeba that eats your brains!”

“And my class trip to Clownville?”

 

Sherman narrows his eyes in a glare.  “That place is a cultural Chernobyl!”

He lets out an exasperated huff.

“We’re not talking about you eating candycorn for dinner--” he turns to face Danny, LaFontaine, and Perry, “--which you definitely also should never do.”  He turns back to look at Laura. “But we  _ are _ talking about you lying to me about where you’re going and who you’ll be with.”  He clenches his jaw. “One last time. Who is this?”

“I’m sorry I lied,” Laura says sincerely.  “But I’m not lying now. This is Carmilla, and she’s a time traveler.”

 

Sherman looks over to Carmilla.  “So she’s a mentally ill woman.”

Carmilla closes her eyes and sighs, trying to find patience.  “Can we speak in private?”

Sherman reluctantly nods and they step out of earshot of the others, including Laura.

 

Mrs. Lawrence sits down on a park bench nearby.

“So who is she?” Danny asks.  “Like, actually.”

“I’m telling the truth!  Her name is Carmilla and she’s a time traveler who just pops up in my attic once in a while for a bit, and then she vanishes.”

Perry frowns.  “You mean, she kidnaps you and then vanishes.”

“She didn’t  _ kidnap _ me,” Laura insists.

“You’re a kid, and she napped you,” LaF comments, teasingly.  “Seems to me like she kidnapped you.”

Perry’s frown deepens.  “Either way, at least come up with a  _ normal _ explanation other than time travel.”

“Like kidnapping,” Danny adds.

 

Laura crosses her arms.  “You’ll all see. I’m gonna take a picture of them and when Carmilla travels away and returns in the future looking the same or maybe even younger, you’ll all see!”

She pulls out her camera and takes a couple of pictures.  Carmilla seems to notice and offers an awkward wave before returning to whatever conversation she’s having with Sherman.

She decides to head over, her curiosity about what Carmilla could possibly be saying to her father getting the better of her.

“ _ I know you’re hurting after losing your wife. I wish I got to meet her. And I know you’re scared you’ll lose Laura.  But... _ ”

  
  


“I’m sorry, I-I’m not trying to make you worry, I just… I don’t want you to be so scared for me all the time,” Laura says from behind Sherman.

They turn to look at her.

Laura wrings her hand nervously.  “Dad… you can’t stop things from happening to me.  Life… happens. I shouldn’t have lied, but I promise, you can trust Carm not to hurt me.”

Sherman looks at Carmilla and Laura for a while, lost in thought.  “Okay. Okay. I mean, I’m not one hundred percent trusting this random woman I just met who I’m not convinced isn’t crazy but… Just. No more lies, okay?”

Laura nods.  “Yes. dad.”

 

Carmilla clears her throat.  “Well, this has been fun.” She pats Laura on the arm.  “Thank you for the hot dog. And for the lovely introduction to your dad.”  She steps into the bushes to hide from people walking by, but pushes apart two branches so Laura and Sherman can continue to see her face.  “It’s gonna be a while, cutie. But I’ll see you in January 2008.”

Laura’s mouth drops open.  “ _ What? _ ”

With that, Carmilla vanishes before their very eyes.

 

“That… That’s in six years,” Laura pouts, her camera in her hands feeling heavier with each passing second.

Sherman blinks a few times, his mouth also open.  “Holy shit.”

Laura looks up at him and frowns.  “Guess everyone is done watching their language.”


	9. The Relationship Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waiting six years for Carmilla's next visit, Laura asks her for advice while struggling with a relationship in high school

**January 2008**

  
  


Six years went by both quickly and slowly.

All that time Laura spent at Danny’s house when Mrs. Lawrence took care of her while Sherman was always at work led Laura and Danny to consider each other best friends-- although Laura always clarified that she still considered Carmilla her best friend, too.

Laura was always going to see Danny play baseball or basketball.  Danny was always joining in on Laura’s adventures to take pictures and feel that connection with her mother.  She listened to Laura babble about shows even though she couldn’t stand to watch them with her.

At the end of middle school, Danny asked Laura out.  Laura said yes.

 

And for three years, they’ve been dating.

But lately, there was a feeling in the pit of Laura’s stomach that she couldn’t quite identify or shake.

 

_ If only mom was still here _ , Laura frets.  Her father was beyond great and doing his best, but she didn’t want to put all the stress of her growing pains on him.  

 

Laura had invited Danny to go with her to go see a film called  _ Persepolis _ , which she knew wasn’t exactly Danny’s taste of movies.  But it was  _ Laura _ ’s and that should be good enough.   _ Right _ ?

So Laura’s donned her favorite Tegan and Sara shirt and ripped jeans and decided to continue to ignore that feeling in the pit of her stomach.  Besides, she’s still early for the movie.

She’s on her way out when she feels a small shift in the air and frowns.  She hadn’t felt something like that since...

 

_ Carmilla _ .

 

“Hey, stranger,” Laura says as Carmilla is standing in the attic, clearly still trying to focus on her new surroundings. “Welcome to 2008.”

“Whoa,” Carmilla exclaims.  Laura isn’t sure what’s causing this reaction.  “You look… uhm...”

“The last time I saw you was six years ago,” Laura points out.  

“Diggin the hair,” Carmilla chuckles, putting on a black t-shirt and sweatpants. Laura realizes she’s got a bunch of different-colored highlights in her hair. “Wanna start catching me up on the past six years?  If you want.”

Laura leads Carmilla out of the attic and towards her bedroom, unsure of where to start.

Luckily, Carmilla seems to sense this.  “Let’s see you’re… what? A sophomore in high school?”

Laura nods, pausing in the hallway.  “When was the last time  _ you _ saw me?”

Carmilla laughs.  “Spoilers.”

“Annoying as ever,” Laura comments.  This felt natural, even after six years of not seeing her.  “Before we catch up, let’s do this first.”

 

Laura pulls out a small handheld camera and motions for Carmilla to follow her.

Carmilla starts taking in the room, clearly never having seen it like this.  There are definitely new fandom paraphernalia and pictures up, including her favorite picture of her with her mother, taken by some random lady at the park the first time she met Carmilla.

 

“Recording time!” Laura declares from across the room, having situated her camera on her bedroom desk.  Carmilla makes her way over as Laura begins speaking. “Hello, gentle viewers of the future. Last time we saw Carm was in May of 2002.  And apparently last time she saw me, was in Spoiler Territory.” She tugs Carmilla into frame. “So now, we’re in 2008. I’m seventeen years old.  And Carmilla is...”

“Twenty eight,” Carmilla replies.

“Cool!  We’re getting closer in age,” Laura says.  She frowns, realizing her younger self had never thought to ask Carmilla something before.  “Wait, what year were you born?”

Carmilla smiles.  “1990.”

Laura’s mouth drops open. “We’re only one year apart in your present timeline?!” she shrieks.  “In  _ my _ present timeline?!  In A _ NY present timeline _ ?!”

“Yep,” Carmilla replies simply.

A phone rings from inside the room, and Laura’s mind is still reeling from this information as she ends the video to answer it.

 

“ _ Hi, Hollis _ ,” Danny greets.

“Hey, Danny,” Laura replies.

“ _ So I know we were supposed to go see Pers… Percy… Polis… Whatever that film is.  But Betty just invited me to go to the batting cages and you know I don’t like my muscles getting rusty off-season... _ ”

Laura is surprised she actually feels relieved.  “Oh, that’s okay,” she says a little too quickly and eagerly.

“ _ Is this some kind of trick? _ ” Danny asks suspiciously.

Trying to cover up for her enthusiasm, she shifts uncomfortably.  “No, really! It’s fine you can’t make it. Carmilla’s here, anyway.”

“ _ Laura, if you’re upset with me, you don’t have to make up a story about your fake imaginary friend.  We all know she was just some woman who kidnapped you in middle school. She’s not really in your house right now. _ ”

Her hand clenches into a fist.  “Yes, she  _ IS _ .”  Laura looks at Carmilla, eyes pleading as she puts the phone on speaker. “Carm, say hi to Danny.”

Carmilla very obviously contemplates not saying anything to mess with Laura, but instead does as told.  “Hi to Danny,” she says flatly into the speaker.

“ _ Oh holy shit _ ,” Danny replies, clearly surprised.  “ _ It’s the voice of the woman from the park. _ ”

“Yuh huh!” Laura declares proudly.

There’s a long pause on the other end.  “ _ Damn, she’s really there? _ ”

“As real as you, Clifford.”

“ _ How the hell do you know what I look like? _ ” Danny demands.

Carmilla snickers.  “Spoilers.”

Betty is calling Danny in the distance.

“ _ Alright, alright, Betty!  I’m on my way! Geez _ .”  Danny sighs.  “ _ We’ll talk about this later, Hollis. _ ”

The call ends and Laura rolls her eyes. ”’We’ll talk about this later, Hollis,’” she mocks.

 

Carmilla chuckles and gets up, bringing back a framed picture of Laura with Danny.

“So.  You and Danny Lawrence?”  Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “How does one go from ‘being kicked out of her birthday party’ and ‘she’s my childhood bully’ to ‘dating?’  Some kind of Stockholm syndrome?” she asks, holding up the picture of Danny, in a baseball jersey, kissing Laura’s cheek on a baseball field. 

Laura laughs.  “Well, we became friends in elementary school after the bullying thing.  Then we became best friends in middle school… Started dating at the end of it.  We’ve been together for almost three years.”

Carmilla hums.

 

“But...”  Laura wrings her hands together.

Somehow, just giving this brief synopsis of their relationship to Carmilla has helped Laura realize what the problem is.

“‘But…’?”

“It feels like we’re together for the sake of being together, y’know?  Like we just did it coz it’s what we were expected to do after being friends for so long.  But it doesn’t feel like what I think a relationship should feel like.”

Carmilla offers nothing but an understanding look for a moment.  “And what do you think a relationship should feel like?” she asks.  “Coz I’m telling you now, it’s not like it is in TV shows, hon.”

“I know, I know,” Laura says dejectedly.  “But it’s like she’s not really supporting what I want and need, unless it also aligns with what  _ she _ thinks I want and need.  It’s as if she doesn’t trust me.”

Carmilla frowns. “She thinks you’d cheat on her?”

“No,” Laura says immediately.  “Danny just doesn’t seem to trust that I know what’s best for me.  She acts like  _ she _ does.”

“Ah,” Carmilla says, nodding.  “She tries to control you.”

“Is your wife like that?” Laura asks before she can stop herself.

 

“Look, I can’t get into the spoilers of it all,” Carmilla says.  “But to vaguely answer your question-- no. I mean, I think, before I met her, a part of her would have wanted to control me.  But she realized that to fit the world into the way she wants things to play out isn’t possible. That isn’t the way the world works.”

This is true.  If the world worked the way Laura wanted it to, her mother would still be around.  Carmilla and her wouldn’t be separated by time flowing between them like a teasing barrier with breaks for mere moments at a time.  And Carmilla wouldn’t have spent so long traveling alone.

The world wasn’t fair.

 

Carmilla notes Laura’s silence.  “Laura, I’m not gonna tell you what a good relationship is supposed to feel like. I think that’s different for everyone. But if you feel like she’s trying to control you, then I can definitely tell you that’s  _ not _ what a good one feels like.  I haven’t had many meaningful relationships but I have had one really bad one, and one really good one.”

“What was the bad one like?” Laura asks softly.  Her eyes widen. “I-If you don’t mind me asking. No pressure.”

 

Carmilla chuckles.  “No, it’s fine.”

She looks ready to tell a long tale, and Laura is more than ready to listen.

“When I hit puberty, my traveling became extremely unstable.  Instead of once every few weeks, it was pretty much all the time.  It was all over place and time, and sometimes not even in my own timeline where I could find somewhere safe.  I was always breaking into buildings. Stealing things. Having to fight people off to defend myself in strange areas.”

“That sounds horrible,” Laura says.  “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Carmilla laughs dryly.  “The problem is, that feeling of constantly being unsafe came back with me when I was in my own time.  Except for when I was with her. With Elle.” She sighs. “She was this transfer from England in my class.  I was never really in class coz of my traveling, but whenever I came back, she made me  _ want _ to go to school.  She was always surrounded by friends and was top of our class.  But she always made time to speak to me when she did see me and we’d laugh and it all felt a little less awful when she was around.  And one day, she asked me out.”

Her eyes soften at the memory.

“We were together for two years.  Because she was so popular, she never really questioned how often I’d disappear.  She just thought it was me being a rebel. She told me she liked the badass type of gal and, y’know, I didn’t mind being a badass for her.  I was different than her straight-laced, studious friends. And for a year and a half, I finally felt like a normal girl. She had her petty high school drama while I was traveling, and hearing her vent about it made me feel like I was a part of her world.”  Her eyes darken. “Mattie-- a friend of mine who has the same condition but learned to control her traveling more-- told me to let her go. That she wouldn’t understand me. Past, present, future- every version of Mattie tried to warn me.”

 

Carmilla swallows hard.

“One night, Elle and I were on a date.  And she said to me… ‘I love you.’ And I said it back to her.  I meant it. Every word and feeling behind those three words-- God, I meant every bit of it.”  She shakes her head. “But she didn’t. Coz I vanished right in front of her eyes. Traveled out of her house for a few hours.”

“She didn’t take it well?” Laura guesses.

Carmilla lets out a long exhale.  “When I reappeared, she was freaking the hell out.  Screaming I was a witch or some demon. That I’m a monster.”

“That’s insane!” Laura declares.

“I told her everything.  About my dad and the first time I traveled.  About what it’s like when I travel and all the things I have to do to survive.  That I can’t control it. And I told her how much I love her and how much she means to me.  And she took it all in and eventually said she’d be willing to continue our relationship.”

Laura looks at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

“The thing is, when a girl says they want to date a badass, it never works out.  When someone is dating you because you check off some boxes, when someone is dating you for an image or an idea… It just means sooner or later, the boxes won’t be enough.  The image fades. And you’re replaceable.”

Carmilla clenches her jaw.

“For the next several months, we were good.  My mom and Mattie mocked me. Said she was using me and would break my heart.  She absolutely reveled in my stories about time traveling. I think it made me seem more cool to her.  But my travels got more and more frequent than ever before, and the amount of time I was gone was growing, too.  And one day, I returned to find out I was gone for two weeks. I went to visit her and....”

She awkwardly clears her throat, her hands balling into fists.

“She’d started dating another girl.  Just like that. I went up to her asking for an explanation and she pretended I didn’t even exist.  That the past two years had never happened.”

 

“If I ever meet her, I’m gonna punch her,” Laura exclaims.

Carmilla laughs at that and pats Laura on the leg.  “I have complete faith you won’t do that, sweetheart.  But thanks.”

“But how could she do that to you?” Laura demands, shaking with anger.

“I finally got an answer a few days later.  My mom and I had gotten into a huge fight and she threw me out.  I had nowhere else to go, so I went to Elle’s. I showed up on her doorstep asking to stay just until I found a place, and she...”  Carmilla’s voice cracks. “She called me a freak. A freak that no one could ever love or be with because all I did was burst into people’s lives and keep them waiting.  Waste their time and love by vanishing without notice.”

Laura frowns.  “You’re not a freak.  And that’s not what it’s like to have you in my life, at all.”

 

She tries to imagine a struggling Carmilla at her age, finding a normal life with someone in her own time.  Grasping at feeling safe and secure-- just to have it torn away. She silently promises herself that she would never make Carmilla feel like that.

 

Carmilla would always have a home with her. 

 

“Thanks, cutie.”  Carmilla gives her a sad, but grateful smile.  “Anyway, my point is-- sometimes the warning signs are all there.  And while it sucked while it was happening to me, I’m glad Elle and I broke up.  Because then I never would’ve ended up with someone who loves me for me, and supports me, and has my back.”

Laura smiles.  If anyone deserved to have someone in her life who keeps her grounded, it was Carmilla.

“If you’re feeling iffy about Danny, then just be careful.  You don’t need someone controlling you or being with you because they have some image of you in their head that you shouldn’t have to live up to.  Okay?” Carmilla continues.

Laura nods and tackles Carmilla in a hug.  “Okay, Carm.”

Carmilla hugs her back.

“Whoever your wife is in the future, she’s lucky to have you,” Laura says sweetly.

“I’m lucky to have her. I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to tell this story and let all my anger go if I didn’t have her love and support.”

Laura huffs.  “Tell her to teach me her ways.”

 

Carmilla laughs.  “Time for me to go,” she says, holding tighter.  “See you in June 2009.”

Laura pulls away, eyebrows furrowed.  “June 2009? But that’s--”

Carmilla vanishes from sight, a smug smirk in place.

 

Laura groans and flops down onto her desk.  “...Senior prom.”


	10. The Prom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura share their first prom experience together.

**June 2009**

  
  


Carmilla’s advice wound up being sound.

After months of biting her tongue, Laura exploded and called Danny out for being controlling.

It was over something silly-- Laura had wanted to get hot dogs for dinner, but Danny wanted pizza. And instead of any kind of discussion, Danny just started chanting, “PIZZA OR DEATH.  PIZZA OR DEATH!”

And the next thing Laura knew, she was telling Danny that she only wants Laura to behave how she wants her to behave, and that she doesn’t actually let Laura be who she is.

Danny didn’t even want to discuss Laura’s reason for being upset, and instead broke up with her.

 

Leaving Laura without a date to prom with only days to go.

 

At first, this didn’t bother Laura beyond crying at the fact that a three year relationship with the best friend she’d known for almost three-fourths of her life was ended over a “pizza or death” chant.

But then the night before, she was ready to say she wasn’t going to go, only to realize how much money her hard-working father put into making sure she had a great prom experience.

And that’s when she promptly burst into tears, scaring the poor man.

 

“Oh, sweetie,” he says soothingly, “if you don’t want to go, please don’t make yourself.”

Laura is sobbing so hard she’s hiccuping.  “Dad, the prom tickets were so much money. I can’t just waste them!”

A floorboard creaks from upstairs and she and her father share a look.

They both carefully walk towards the stairs, with her holding a stapler behind her back and him eyeballing a can of bear spray. As they reach the foot of the stairs, they realize it’s Carmilla, awkwardly hovering at the top.

 

“Hi, Carm,” Laura says with a sniffle.  “How, uh… long have you been up there?”

“Not long,” Carmilla replies.

Sherman looks over at Laura as if asking if she’s okay to see Carmilla.  Laura nods, and he gestures for her to come downstairs.

“If I-I’m interrupting, I can just go kill time outside til I travel back to the future,” Carmilla comments.

Laura shakes her head, grabbing a tissue.  “No, no,” she mumbles. “It’s fine.”

“What’s going on?” Carmilla asks carefully.

 

Laura takes a shaky breath.  “Danny broke up with me a few days ago,” she says, her voice cracking.  “I should’ve listened to you the last time I saw you.”

Carmilla frowns and racks her brain.  “That was January 2008, right?”

Laura pouts.  Yeah. When I told you that I felt like Danny and I were dating  for the sake of being together, or coz it’s what we were expected to do after being friends for so long.  And that I didn’t think it felt like what a relationship should feel like. ”

Carmilla chuckles as Sherman gets up and goes to the kitchen.  “Not like how it is in the TV shows, huh?”

Laura laughs.  “Nope. And, I mean, I appreciate the advice you gave me, but... Wish you had given me more deets.”

“You know only a dork says ‘deets,’ right?” Carmilla teases.

Laura grins, and Carmilla smiles at seeing that she’s cheered up a bit.

 

Sherman returns with two mugs of hot cocoa.

“Anyway, a few days ago, I called Danny out on being controlling,” Laura says after she’s taken a sip and thanked her father.  “And it turned into a huge fight. And she broke up with me. And now she won’t return my calls and prom is tomorrow.”

Carmilla winces. “Oh.  Wow.”

“And I was all set to go with my friends but then I realized LaF and Perry are going together and  my friends Kirsch and SJ are together and I’ll just be fifth wheeling. So then I thought about just selling the ticket.  But we also already got the dress and the limo. It’d be such a waste of money…”

“Honey, you need to do whatever you think you need to do,” Sherman says sweetly.  “Don’t go if you’re gonna be miserable.  _ That _ would be a waste of money.”

Laura mulls over her father’s point, but it still doesn’t seem like a good enough of a reason.

 

“I can go,” Carmilla says suddenly.

Laura and Sherman both look at her in confusion.

“Go?  Go where?” Laura asks.

“Prom,” Carmilla replies simply.  “I can go to prom with you.”

Laura’s mouth drops open before she begins stammering.  “Wh-What? No. I… I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me,” Carmilla points out.  “I’m offering.”

Laura’s mind is reeling at the thought of going with the best friend she’s been crushing on for longer than she’d like to admit. “There won’t be alcohol,” she says slowly.  “You’d be in a venue with teenagers totally sober.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Alcohol triggers my traveling.  So I wouldn’t be drinking even if there was an open bar at your prom.”

 

When Laura still looks unsure, Carmilla takes another sip from her hot chocolate.  Laura’s eyes wander to the lighter skin beneath where Laura assumes her wedding ring usually is.

“It would just be as friends,” Carmilla says.  “You don’t have to worry about my wife.”

 

Laura isn’t sure if this is better or not but does feel slightly relieved that the pressure of going as anything other than best friends is gone.  “Just as friends. Okay.” Something occurs to her and she grins.

“What?” Carmlla asks.

“You can have Danny’s ticket.”

 

* * *

 

“Greetings, wonderful viewers,” Laura yells, holding out her digital camera.  “Laura Hollis at eighteen years old here in 2009!”

Carmilla leans into frame.  “Carmilla Karnstein, twenty nine,” she grumbles obediently, giving a reluctant wave.

“Hollstein is going to prom today,” Laura continues.  “Which wasn’t exactly expected, but way better than the original plan, if I do say so myself.”  She clears her throat. “So, I’m, uhm… gonna get ready. And so’s Carm. And then we’ll do pictures?”

“Darn tootin’ we will!” Sherman yells from another room, making Laura laugh.

She stops recording and puts the camera down.

 

“You know which trunk in the attic has my mom’s formalwear, right?” Laura asks, starting to head upstairs.

Carmilla hums.  “You sure I can’t just go in my usual t-shirt and jeans?”

Laura pouts.

“Teasing, cutie.  I’ll pick out a great dress.  I’m not gonna mess this up for you.”

“Didn’t think you would,” Laura comments smugly and heads upstairs.  She really hopes Carmilla picks the black dress with the corset.

 

About an hour and a half later, Laura’s showered and put on her dress and makeup while Carmilla showers.  She does her hair and, after nervously checking herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time, takes a deep breath.

While she’d decided to go with a white dress with a corset that took entirely too long to put on, she grumbles that BBC period dramas do not spend enough time on how complicated these clothes are and that she’s been in there for 40 minutes.

And then tries to take another deep breath.

“Girl the hell up, Hollis,” she says to herself.

With that, she heads up to the attic.  She does a quick peek to make sure Carmilla isn’t indecent-- which seems par for the course considering every time she’s seen Carmilla in her life so far, she’s started off naked-- and isn’t able to hold back the gasp that escapes her lips.

 

The setting sun hits the black dress perfectly, its darkness contrasting with the light in the space around it, making Carmilla look impossibly ethereal.

Carmilla starts a bit at Laura’s gasp and turns.  Her mouth drops open.

Laura’s eyes widen.  “I… Uh. Uhm… H-Hey.”  She clears her throat awkwardly.  “S...Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she manages to stammer out, her eyes landing on Carmilla’s corset.

Carmilla continues staring, slowly moving towards Laura.

“It’s just, that was actually the dress I was hoping you’d pick,” Laura continues rambling.  “I just didn’t wanna pressure you into picking this dress since you’re already being a great friend by taking me to prom and… Th-That’s my favorite out of all my mom’s dresses and you look so beautiful and wonderful in it.”

 

Carmilla chuckles, but still doesn’t speak.

“And I just… wanted to thank you again for coming with me to prom.  I know it’s probably a silly thing to you for me to have gotten  _ that _ upset over,” Laura says with a sheepish chuckle.  “But it really means a lot to me. A-And you can still back out.”

“Laura, don’t be ridiculous,” Carmilla finally says with a laugh.  “I’m not going anywhere. Something tells me this is the way it was supposed to be.  Both of us going to prom, together.”

She swallows hard and slowly steps back to go back to where she was standing when Laura walked in.

“You look gorgeous and amazing, Laura,” Carmilla comments softly.

Laura looks ready to pass out.  “I-I do?”

Carmilla looks at her as if she’s grown another head.  “Of course.”

“Oh.  Th...anks,” Laura mumbles shyly.

Carmilla chuckles and puts a brooch on before walking back towards Laura.  “Let’s go take these pictures, sweetheart. And then we’re gonna show off to Danny just what that jerk is missing out on.  Together.”

Laura grins.  “Together.”   
  


And together, they begin a series of pictures of them taken.

 

They take one with both of them leaning on Sherman’s car, with Carmilla posed behind Laura.

Another picture has Carmilla slipping a corsage over Laura’s wrist and Laura over-acting and swooning.

The next group of pictures is of Laura giving Carmilla a piggyback ride, and then Carmilla picking Laura up bridal-style.

They then begin taking turns twirling each other, and at the end of one, Carmilla has twirled into Laura and is hovering an inch from her face, giving her a kiss on the cheek while Laura grins.

 

“I think I have a permanent spot in my vision from the camera flash,” Carmilla grumbles as they wait for the limo to pull up.

“Be ready for more,” Laura says, scrolling through the plethora of photos on the camera that they’ve just taken.  “They’ll take pictures of us at the main entrance.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Now I remember why I didn’t go to my prom.”

“I thought that’s coz you didn’t have anyone to go with or were afraid you’d vanish out of existence,” Laura remarks.

“Ouch,” Carmilla sighs.  “True, but ouch.”

Laura blushes.  “Wait, that’s not how I--”

“Glad you allowed this  _ friendless freak _ to go with you,” Carmilla laments, sighing overdramatically.

“Carm!” Laura giggles, realizing at last that Carmilla is teasing her.  “You are not a friendless freak.”

Carmilla smiles and stands closer to her, looking down at the camera.

 

“These should all definitely be in the album,” Carmilla comments.

Laura stares at her, surprised.  “I can’t believe you remember! We haven’t taken one in eight years.”

“Ah, it’s only been a year or so for me,” Carmilla remarks, before she realizes how it comes out.  “Not that I would forget about this album,” she quickly amends.

Laura smiles warmly at her.  “Well, you’re right. I’m gonna put them all in there.”

 

The limo finally pulls up with LaFontaine and Perry hop out of the back.

LaFontaine is in a sharp tuxedo and Perry is in a classy deep purple dress.

“Hello, dear,” Perry greets as Laura and Carmilla walk over to greet them.  “Oh, Laura. You look gorgeous.”

“You guys look pretty spiffy yourselves,” Laura replies.

Both Perry and LaFontaine’s eyes widen as they look at Carmilla.  “Hold on,” LaF frowns. “We’ve seen your mystery prom date somewhere, haven’t we?”

 

Sherman steps out of the house with his camera.

Perry is examining Carmilla’s face closely, much to her annoyance.  “Wait a minute. Isn’t this that woman who kidnapped Laura in middle school?  The one she claimed was her best friend?”

Laura crosses her arms and huffs.  “She  _ is _ my best friend! And she didn’t kidnap me.”

“She looks the same age as she did over half a dozen years ago,” Perry notes in awe.

“That’s coz I’m a time traveler,” Carmilla replies.

LaFontaine and Perry look over at Carmilla.

“Okay, come on, kids,” Sherman says, growing impatient.  “You can congratulate Laura on having a time-traveling best friend going to prom with her later.”

 

They all start off with a regular group photo.

Laura, Perry, and Carmilla pose as Charlie’s Angels, while LaFontaine sprawls on the ground, with Perry freaking out that they’d ruin their suit.  They don’t budge and she finally gives in and poses.

The last group picture is of them all jumping into the air, with a beaming Laura getting way more airtime than anyone else.

 

After a tearful declaration that it’s time for them to go to prom, Sherman hugs Laura goodbye and makes Carmilla promise to take care of her.

“Always,” Carmilla swears.

 

“So, you’re a time traveler?” LaF asks once they’ve all settled into the limo.

“And you’re annoying,” Carmilla snaps.

Perry frowns.  “Well, that seems uncalled for.”

“Her condition is called chrono-impairment,” Laura offers.  “She can’t control when she leaves her own time, or when and where she’ll travel to.”

LaF pokes Carmilla in the arm, as if testing if she’s even corporeal.

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a scathing glare.  

“So what if you disappear tonight mid-prom?” they ask.

Laura and Carmilla share an uncertain look, although Laura would be lying if she said the same thought hadn’t occurred to her. “Then I’ll pick the dress off the floor and put it back in the attic,” Laura answers quietly.

 

“I can’t believe Kirsch and SJ aren’t coming to prom,” Perry says, trying to change the subject.

“Where are they?” Carmilla asks, failing to keep the relief from her voice.

Laura, LaFontaine, and Perry all share an amused look.

“Eloping,” Laura finally answers.

She and Perry and LaFontaine fill Carmilla in on the fact that as the Bro-Scort program-- started when there was a rash of odd burglaries and break-ins in the neighborhood-- paired Laura and Kirsch together, she decided he was a good enough guy that she’d help introduce him to his crush-- Sarah Jane.  They hit it off surprisingly well and were supposed to be at their prom table, but the day before Danny and Laura broke up, they took off to get married.

The stories about the silly pair take up most of the trip and soon enough, they reach the destination.

 

Perry and LaF slide out of the limo first, and Carmilla helps Laura out of the car.

“So chivalrous,” Laura comments with a giggle.

“Only the best for my favorite prom date,” Carmilla teases with a wink, chuckling when Laura blushes.

LaFontaine makes a gagging sound and Perry gives them a disapproving look.  “Be nice. Let’s go get our picture taken.”

Carmilla takes Laura’s hand and gently tugs on it so they hang back a bit.

“Breathe, okay?  I’ll let you know if I’m about to travel.  I’m not gonna just leave you.” Carmilla sighs.  “I know I’ve pretty much spent your whole life leaving you, but... ”

Laura shakes her head with a small smile.  “You always come back to me.”

“I always will,” Carmilla promises softly.  Laura gives her hand a grateful squeeze.

 

They head over and take their picture before going in and finding their table.  

“Hollis.” Mel says as she walks over.  “At the risk of sounding like a kid with parents in a failing marriage, Danny asked me to tell you--”  She frowns upon seeing her date. “Who is this?”

“This is Carmilla,” Laura replies.  “What about Danny, Mel?”

Mel looks Carmilla over a few times in confusion at the fact that Laura brought someone so much older than them with her, before breezing past it.

“She said she won’t be sitting with us,” Mel grumbles.  “She found somewhere else to sit.”

“She’s still coming?” Laura squeaks.

Mel nods.  “And she didn’t wanna end the cold war happening between you guys, so she got another ticket.”

Charlotte taps Mel on the shoulder and she turns with a grin.  “Laura, would you mind if I borrow my girl for another bunch of embarrassing photos?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind, now that I’m done relaying stupid messages, I’m going to join my lovely date Charlotte at our table,” Mel says with a grin.

 

Laura and Carmilla watch as they walk away.

“You gonna be okay with Danny here?” Carmilla asks gently.

Laura nods, giving her a grateful smile.  They get some soda before settling down at their table with Perry, LaFontaine, Mel, and Charlotte.

As they place their orders for dinner, Carmilla realizes Laura’s gotten really quiet.  “Hey. Are you okay?”

“You sure your wife is okay with this?” Laura asks, staring down into her lap.

Carmilla looks amused.  “Yes, I’m sure. I should hope by now she knows how important you are to me.”

Laura slowly meets her eyes.  “You’re… really important to me, too.”

 

“Yo!  Lawrence!” a voice yells out.

Laura’s head snaps to look first at who called out-- it was a classmate named Theo-- then at the direction he was looking in.

Danny walks in, wearing the beautifully-cut white suit, customized the day she and Laura picked it out.  The color matches Laura’s dress.

And by Danny’s side…is a date.  Betty.

Laura’s mouth drops open as Danny leans over and kisses her date on the lips.  The kiss lingers for a bit longer than anyone feels comfortable seeing, and Danny walks right past Laura’s table.

 

“Okay, I get not saying hi to you,” Perry comments with her arms crossed, “but it was pretty rude not to say hi to any of us.”

Carmilla gives Perry a glare as Danny and her date sit down at the table right next to theirs.

“I mean, not saying hi was rude in general,” Perry quickly amends.

Carmilla watches with concern as Laura shrinks in on herself.  She stands and holds out her hand.

Laura stares at it in confusion, but when Carmilla makes a more insistent motion, Laura lets herself be helped up and is horrified as she’s led right to Danny.

 

“Hey! Pennywise!” Carmilla snaps.

Danny looks up, trying to maintain a bored expression as she takes in Laura’s date.  “May I help you, Elvira?” Her eyes widen. “Wait. This dress. Isn’t it…?”

“My mom’s?” Laura manages to find her voice.  “Yep. She picked it out herself.”

“But that’s your favorite one,” Danny murmurs, more to herself.  Then she catches herself. “Who is this, anyway? Coz I feel like I’ve seen her before--”

Carmilla squeezes her hand, and Laura smirks, finding confidence in the small action.  “This is Carmilla.”

Danny scoffs before she realizes Laura’s serious.  “Really? You’re telling me you brought your time traveling friend here for prom?”  She narrows her eyes at Carmilla. “Aren’t you a little old to be at a high school prom?”

“Carmilla never went to her prom,” Laura explains.  “And Carmilla also doesn’t have to justify her actions to anyone.  Least of all you.” She gestures at Danny’s date. “You know who does have to justify herself?  You. What the hell is this?”

 

Danny clenches her jaw.  “You could be a little more nice to Betty.”

“You could be a little less nicer to Betty,” Laura fires back.  “Besides, I have nothing against  _ her _ .  We’ve been broken up for a few days and you’re already rebounding?”

Danny raises an eyebrow.  “Look who’s talking, Hollis.  You brought a thirty-year old here as your date.”

“I’m only twenty nine,” Carmilla clarifies.

Laura nods appreciatively.  “Plus she’s only here as my friend.”

Danny rolls her eyes.  “Puh-leez. You’ve been crushing on her ever since the first time you started blabbing about her and your parents had you locked up for being crazy.”

 

Laura stiffens and knows she’s blushing.  “Th-That doesn’t matter! She offered and she couldn’t feel the same about me, so she’s here just as a friend!” she insists.

Carmilla manages to maintain a neutral expression.

“You came in here, with an actual  _ date _ days after we broke up, and then kissed her in front of everyone!”

Betty awkwardly clears her throat.  “That  _ was _ pretty uncool of you, Lawrence.  For all parties involved.”

Dinner is being served now and Betty seems all too eager to start eating to avoid continuing participating in this conversation.

 

Danny swallows hard.  She looks from Betty, to Laura, back to Betty.  “I… --Fine! I’m...” She huffs. “I’m sorry, okay?  That was disrespectful. To both of you.”

Laura takes a deep breath and tries to consider how to handle this.

She wants to be angry.  She really does.

But this is prom and it only happens once, and Carmilla was kind enough to come with her.  And the Universe was letting her stay. So why ruin it being bitter and furious?

 

“We’ve been friends for too long to let it ruin a night like this, haven’t we? So, Danny, can we just… do prom tonight, separately, without any pettiness or drama?” Laura asks sincerely.

Danny looks surprised before she gives a slow, small nod.  “I think I can do that, Hollis.”

 

Laura looks relieved and tugs on Carmilla’s hand so they walk back to their table.  Once they sit down, Laura smiles at Carmilla and begins to eat from her plate. “Thanks, Carm.”

Carmilla cocks her head to the side in confusion, stabbing at her salad. “For what?”

“I never would’ve been able to stand up for myself if you weren’t there by my side supporting me,” Laura replies, mouth full.

Carmilla chuckles and shakes her head.  “Laura, you would’ve definitely been able to do that without me here.  I just gave you a little nudge to get started earlier.”

Laura hums in response, and they remain mostly quiet for the rest of the meal, with random friends and classmates popping up throughout the night to take pictures with her, which Carmilla obligingly captures.

 

“You sure you don’t wanna make the rounds yourself?” Carmilla asks as they finish up dessert.

“Would you come with me?“ Laura asks shyly.

“No,” Carmilla deadpans.  Her expression softens. “Kidding, cutie.  This is your night. Whatever you want to do, I’m game.”

Laura’s expression lights up as soon as the song changes.

“Carm!  This is--”

“--Your favorite song. Or, one of them, anyway. Yeah, I know,” Carmilla laughs.

Laura furrows her eyebrows together but lets her question go as she hops to her feet.  She looks excitedly over to her friends, who are already exaggerating their reluctance and grudgingly getting up as well.

Carmilla rises and allows herself to be dragged to the dance floor.

Almost immediately, Laura’s friends swarm them, now sincerely smiling and laughing as Laura belts out the words to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.”

Some time during the song, Carmilla sneaks off.  Laura figures Carmilla didn’t want to deal with the crowd of screeching teenagers, especially when the song is being looped a few times.

 

The next song is Alison Krauss’s “When You Say Nothing At All” and most the people on the dance floor leave, while the rest that remain begin coupling up.  Laura steps off the dance floor, to go join Carmilla back at the table, watching as LaF holds Perry closely, and Mel and Charlotte are laughing and talking through their embrace.

As she starts to head back to her seat, someone reaches out and lightly grabs her by the arm, just to get her attention.

Laura first looks at the hand on her arm, then at the person it belongs to.

Carmilla clears her throat.  “May I have this dance?” she asks smoothly.

Laura gapes at her, convinced she heard her incorrectly.  “Wha?”

 

“I promised I’d go to prom with you,” Carmilla replies.  “That includes dancing. But… only if you want to?”

Laura swallows hard and laughs nervously, trying to hide the fact that she’d been dreaming about having a dance with Carmilla for an embarrasingly long amount of time.  “Of course I want to.”

They head to the dance floor side-by-side, and Carmilla holds out her hand.  Once Laura takes it, Carmilla gives her a small tug towards her so they’re in an embrace.  Their eyes meet and Laura looks like she’s buzzing with happiness.

“Is...”

Carmilla gives Laura an encouraging nod to continue with her question.

“Is it okay if I lean my head on your shoulder?” Laura asks shyly.

Carmilla chuckles and nods, shifting a bit so it’s more comfortable for Laura to do so.

They sway to the music, simply enjoying each other’s company for the entire song.

The next song begins, but they stay holding each other.

 

“Carm, I don’t think I ever said it enough when I was younger,” Laura finally mumbles, “but I’m so grateful I met you in the park that day.  You’re my best friend and you’ve made my life better.”

Carmilla pulls away a bit to offer a smile and a warm look.  “You’re my best friend, too, Laura. I feel like I was just existing as a ghost before I met you.  And now I know… I’m here.”

Laura huffs out a small laugh.  “So, we’re friends in the future, huh?”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “I… uh...”

“The song that you recognized as my favorite was just released and wasn’t around the last time we met,” Laura explains.  “Which means the only way you’d know it’s my favorite is if we’re still friends in the future. And our ages are getting closer.”

“You’re a little too good at this investigative Lois Lane crap sometimes, cupcake,” Carmilla comments, making them both chuckle.

Laura shrugs.  “It’s a little reassuring to know even when you leave me here, you’re not gonna forget about me.”

“I’d never forget a cutie like you, cupcake.” Carmilla teases, making Laura blush.

 

The song gets a little too fast-paced for their simple swaying, so Laura leads them towards the back of the venue, where there’s a large balcony.  Some of her classmates who weren’t interested in dancing are out here. But they manage to find a more secluded spot.

“I really shouldn’t tell you a lot about the future-- our future,” Carmilla says, leaning on the railing.  “But I can say that yes, our timelines do eventually meet up. And I’m so grateful it does.”

Laura stands next to her so their shoulders are touching.  “I can’t wait for that to happen.” She nudges Carmilla with her shoulder.  “Thanks again for coming with me tonight, Carm.”

“The pleasure was mine,” Carmilla says sincerely.  “Seems pretty awesome that the Universe made it so we both went to prom together.  Really glad I didn’t get to go to mine now that it meant I got to go to my first one with you.”

Laura blushes and Carmilla turns to face her.

 

“And with that, cutie, I’m gonna have to leave you.  Have a few more dances with your friends for me, okay?”

Laura nods, trying not to look dejected.  “Okay.”

Carmilla takes Laura’s hand and gives it a kiss.  “See you April 17, 2010, Laura.”

Laura watches as Carmilla vanishes before her eyes.  She lets out a sad sigh.

By then, she’d be in college.  But that just meant she would be one step closer to her timeline matching up with Carmilla’s.

And maybe, closer to moments like they shared tonight at prom.


	11. The List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla travels back to the last time Laura will see her before they meet in the present.

**April 17, 2010**

 

Laura’s excited for several reasons.

FIrst of all, it’s spring break.  While college isn’t anything she couldn’t handle, it’s nice being back in town with the rest of her friends.  Danny and her had patched things up enough to go through with their plans to be roommates in college-- mostly because she was the only non-time traveling person Sherman trusted Laura to live with-- but Perry and LaFontaine had gone to a different university, and so had Kirsch and SJ.

Turns out they made better friends than they ever did as romantic partners.

 

Second of all, Carmilla is supposed to be visiting today.  It’s getting late into the night, but Laura knows better than to doubt it if Carmilla gave her an exact date.

 

And third of all, there’s a new episode of  _ Doctor Who _ .

The theme has just ended when there are footsteps on the staircase.

 

“Home for spring break?” Carmilla asks, fully clothed.

Laura squeals and bounces out of her seat, throwing her arms around Carmilla.  “Yep!”

Carmilla smiles and gives her a small squeeze before they both let go.  She sits down on the couch beside Laura. “Wild spring break you’ve got going on here,” she says dryly.

Laura narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  “I’ll have you know that watching this new episode of _Doctor_ _Who_ is _very_ wild.”

Carmilla laughs and settles in, since it’s the middle of the episode.  “You’re right, you’re right. Always a wild time.”

“You’d better not spoil this one for me like you did with Buffy,” Laura comments, regarding her suspiciously.  

Carmilla hums.  “Isn’t this the one where the Doctor and Amy meet Winston Churchill in World War II?  And they find the--”

Laura clamps her hand over Carmilla’s mouth.  “Shh! Spoi--” She gasps and removes her hand.  “You got ‘spoilers’ from River!”

“Or you did.  Not totally clear on that,” Carmilla murmurs.  “But I’ll be quiet.”

 

It isn’t until the credits are rolling that Laura realizes Carmilla is staring at her with an endearing look.

“Wh-What?” Laura chuckles nervously.

“I was just thinking how the first time I met you, you also covered my mouth and screamed ‘SPOILERS’ at me, like River Song in  _ Doctor Who _ .  Guess some things really don’t change.”

Laura giggles.  “I heard it from you, first.”

Carmilla crosses her arms.  “We’ve really gone and fucked up this whole chicken-or-egg timeline, haven’t we?”

Laura laughs at that and shrugs.  “We’re keeping things interesting.”

“Yeah, I hear that’s the secret to a successful marriage,” Carmilla jokes without thinking.  She freezes when she realizes what she’s just said.

 

Laura’s eyes widen and she looks like she’s about to faint.  “Wh-What?”

“Fuck,” Carmilla curses.

There is  _ no _ way Laura heard Carmilla correctly.

But Carmilla’s horrified expression says otherwise.

 

“Oh my god!  Am  _ I _ your wife?” Laura squeaks.  “Or,  _ will I be _ ?”

There’s a squeak of a door hinge.  “Jeepers,” a voice says.

Carmilla and Laura both turn to face Sherman.

“That was one helluva proposal,” he comments, still in shock as he takes off his jacket.

 

Carmilla swallows hard.  “I… I swear, when I actually proposed, it was way more genuine and thought-out and romantic, sir.”

“First of all, call me Sherman.  Since we will be family. Apparently.”  He walks over. “Second of all, I certainly hope so.”

“Well, suddenly I understand why when I asked for your blessing in the future, you gave me a weird look and said ‘uh, yeah, of course,’” Carmilla realizes.

Sherman laughs and walks to the kitchen.  “I guess I have some time to become okay with my daughter marrying a time-traveler, huh?”

 

Laura’s brain is going a mile a minute.

“You’re supposed to do something with a bookshare, right?” she asks, slowly recovering from the revelation.  “I, uh, still have the letter.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “In your little ‘Carmilla’ box, yeah?”

Laura blushes and averts her gaze.

Carmilla clears her throat.  “Speaking of the bookshare, there’s something we need to talk about.  Do you have some paper and a pen?”

Laura nods and heads to her dad’s small home office, returning with a notepad and pen.

Carmilla starts scribbling on it.  “So, while I’m spoiling things...” she says slowly, concentrating on making the list, “...this is going to be the last time you see me before our timelines sync up.”

She looks up carefully, finding Laura staring at her in horror.

Carmilla swallows hard and returns to her list before she loses her train of thought.

 

“The next time you see me, I won’t recognize you,” Carmilla continues softly.  “I’ll have no idea who you are, or that you know about my chrono-impairment.” She pauses her writing for a moment, waiting for her hand to stop shaking a bit.  “It’ll be… really hard on you, I imagine. Probably harder than I can ever appreciate.”

She keeps writing after that, and when she’s finished she looks up to find a wide-eyed Laura.

 

The idea of finding Carmilla and Carmilla not recognizing her sounded like a fate worse than hell.  She’d never considered that there’d be an instance in which it would be the first time  _ Carmilla _ met  _ her _ .

Carmilla’s her best friend.  And Carmilla always says Laura is her best friend.  And apparently they get married.  _ And how is any of that going to be possible if I have to start over an entire relationship with her as a stranger? _

 

“I’ll be at a pretty low point.  Not the lowest, but definitely close to it.  I’ll feel like everything is hopeless, and like I’m a ghost drifting through time and space,” Carmilla continues.  “And you help me get out of that.”

“I-I do?” Laura stammers, her mind still processing everything she’s being told.

Carmilla nods with a small smile.  “You do. You do it by just being yourself.”  She turns the notepad around so that Laura can read it.  “And you do it by doing this at the bookshare on 1698 Styria Avenue.”

Laura scans the sheet and frowns.  “I don’t get it.”

 

“When we first walk in, chances are I’ll go to this book first.”  Carmilla points at the first location listed, which reads, ‘ _ Annie on My Mind _ , by Nancy Garden.’  She runs her finger down the page.  “And then if you tell me to pick a different one, I’ll probably do,  _ ‘Ash _ , by Malinda Lo.’  And so on.” Carmilla taps the page for emphasis.  “As far as we know, this is every book I’ve ever picked.”

Laura’s confusion visibly grows.

“The first time we ever met. Ever. In any timeline.  I picked this book,” Carmilla explains, pointing back at “ _ Annie on My Mind _ .”  “That version of me came up with an idea.  I waited until I figured it’d be the last time I’d travel back to see you before you met a younger Me.  And I told Past You what book I had picked. And told you to have me pick another book.” Carmilla indicates “ _ Ash _ , by Malinda Lo.”

Laura nods slightly, slowly understanding.

“Ever since, every time we’ve met, I’ve chosen a different book.  I’ve spent the past six months in my timeline memorizing all the books from a list you give me, similar to this one, so that I can write it down for you now.  And you need keep this list for Future Me to memorize later when I meet you.”

 

“Okay, I think I get it,” Laura replies.  “But  _ why _ are we doing this?”

Carmilla chuckles, reminded that Laura’s inquisitive nature will always be endearing to her. “Before I met you, it was like I’d been stuck in a circle.  Never able to truly live life and move forward because I got thrown around my life-- stuck seeing some of what my future holds, or having to relive some awful, awful events of my past.  And by doing something I’ve never done before-- in any timeline, in any iteration-- it’s like I’m breaking that cycle. Who knows what impact one small decision has?” She smiles. “And there’s no one any Carmilla would rather break that cycle with, than with her Laura.”

Laura smirks through a blush.  “‘Your’ Laura?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know you hate that possessive crap,” Carmilla sighs.  “But you  _ are _ mine.  To come home to.  To travel to. To embark on a whole new iteration with.  And I am yours, and always will be. In any time.”

She shrugs with a laugh.

“To be fair, we might never know if this little experiment will result in different outcomes.  But it couldn’t hurt to try, right?”

 

Laura laughs at that, too.

Her laugh slowly fades as her expression turns serious.  “So, this is it, huh? No more nostalgic trips for you to see me in the past after this?”

Carmilla gives her a smug look.  “I never said  _ that _ .  I just said this is the last time you’ll see me before our timelines match up.  Anything else would be spoilers.”

Laura rolls her eyes.  “Please, I think we’re a bit beyond that,  _ Future Wife _ .”

Carmilla snorts in amusement.

 

Then she wrings her hands together nervously.  “Laura… I just want to apologize now for how it’ll be the next time you see me.  It never really occurred to me how well we knew each other before then and how weird it’d be for to you see me and not see a shred of recognition from me.”

Laura averts her gaze for a little bit.

 

Will it suck seeing Carmilla and getting any flicker of recognition?  Yes.

Will it hurt knowing Carmilla has no idea what they’ve been through or that they’ll be-- hopefully-- married one day?  Yes.

But is Carmilla worth waiting for until they reach the same point they’re at now?

 

Yes.

 

Laura lets out a long sigh.  “But that just means I get to know you all over again.”

Carmilla blinks at her in surprise.

“The Carmilla I’ve known has almost always had her crap together and this sounds like a whole new side of you I’ve never gotten to see.  And who knows? Maybe by the time we meet, I’ll be different, too.”

Carmilla gives her a loving look.  “Different in a good way. And the same in a good way, too.”  She smiles. “And yes, we get to learn all about each other in ways that these trips have never allowed us.  Leave it to you to find the reckless optimism in this.”

 

Laura grins.

“I do need you to promise me one thing.  And it’ll be tough on you,” Carmilla says carefully.

“What is it?” Laura asks.

“I need you to promise me that you’ll try to keep the knowledge you have about me to a minimum.  I’m pretty unpredictable when you meet me and… it might freak me out, in a bad way.”

Laura considers this promise and all the implications thoroughly before she nods.  “Yes. I promise.”

 

“Thank you.”

Laura looks shy as she clears her throat nervously.  “Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we… happy?”

Carmilla chuckles softly.  “You mean, are we in a happy marriage?”

“Yeah.”

“You infuriate me sometimes with your naivete.  And I’m sure I infuriate you with my gloomy brooding.  And without giving you spoilers... Well,  I might not always like the choices you make, or the way things turn out, but I think it would be infinitely more tragic if you let that stop you from trying.  If you let it turn you into me. ”

Laura pauses before she gives her a playful nudge.  “Ah, you’re not so bad, Carmilla Karnstein.”

 

“Hmm, too bad that didn’t make it into your wedding vows,” Carmilla teases.  She pats Laura on the leg. “I’ll see you when I see you, cupcake.”

Laura fights back tears at the realization that this will be the last time for a while that Carmilla looks at her like this.  She tries to savor it.

“Laura, remember.  We’ll be back to this level of familiarity one day, okay?  I’d never forget a cutie like you.”

With that, Carmilla fades from view.

 

The silence and void feels deafening.  Until her cries fill them.

 

A couple minutes pass before Sherman slowly steps into the living room, clearly having heard Laura crying.  He hands her a box of tissues. “You don’t have to talk about it,” he says gently as she blubbers some unintelligible words at him.  “I didn’t get to hear what you guys were saying, but I did get this.”

She manages to wipe her eyes enough to clear her vision and lets out a sobbed laugh.

 

Sherman is showing her a picture of Laura and Carmilla, both mid-laugh as they’re curled up beside each other on the couch.

And Laura realizes she’d wait a lifetime if it meant laughing together with Carmilla again.

  
  



	12. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years have passed and Laura's continuing with her life, until one day she makes a stop at the library...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy fifth birthday, Carmilla fandom!! (And, if you're new to my work, happy birthday to me LOL but I'm way more excited about the Carmilla one)  
> So sorry it took this long to drop the last bit of this crazy universe-- I got stuck working 70 hour weeks for the past few months and writing / editing had to be thrown on the back burner. But I managed to rush this through in the past week (and apologies in advance for any glaring errors due to the rushing) because even though I'm backing out of the fandom a bit, I wanted to still celebrate a pretty big landmark Carmilla anniversary. So, buckle up creampuffs-- you're in for a wild ride.

**August 2012**

  
  


The next couple years flew by.

Laura decided to major in investigative journalism, although she still dabbled in photography as a way to stay close to her mother.  She spoke to her father at least once a day. Danny and her were on great terms as friends. In fact, Danny was majoring in political science and they shared a lot of classes.

LaFontaine was studying to become a geneticist.  Perry was studying business administration.  

They’d all missed each other so much they’d gotten small apartments in the same building near campus.

Kirsch and SJ had gotten divorced within a couple years of being married, but would rekindle the relationship every so often.  Kirsch always insisted that SJ was the only girl for him. SJ said she couldn’t stay married to a man who always kept a sandwich on his nightstand.

 

Laura had spent the summer at an intense internship and it ended right as the semester was starting.  This was supposedly the toughest semester for a journalism student, and she was determined to stay ahead of the class.

Which meant a lot of long days at the library.

She was hoping to reserve a table for the entire semester, since this wasn’t a library on campus and would have more availability.

She walked up to the circulation desk, to find some girl hunched over looking like she’d just gotten dragged a mile on the highway while hungover.

 

“Rough day?” Laura asks.

“Yes.  So. If you don’t need actual help, please go find a table and sit there. Quietly,” the girl grumbles.

The voice literally takes Laura’s breath away.

“C-Carm?”

 

Sure enough, Carmilla and turns towards with a frown.

“Carm!” Laura squeals.

“Uh. Yes?”

 

It takes her a moment.

“Holy Hufflepuff.  You don’t recognize me.”

Carmilla stares at her and sighs impatiently.  “Should I?”

“This  _ is _ the youngest I’ve ever seen you look…”

Laura looks into Carmilla’s eyes and sees nothing but a cold distance.  Like staring at a stranger.

She can feel her heart shatter all over again, the pain of watching Carmilla leave after her last visit stronger than ever.  Her best friend had no idea who she was.

Carmilla clenches her jaw.  “And yet, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.”

 

This Carmilla may have no idea who Laura is, but that dry sarcasm was pure Carmilla sass.

Her best friend was still in there, and as Laura had said years ago, now she’d get to know Carmilla all over again.  And differently.

So she pushes the sadness down.

 

Instead, Laura giggles and shakes her head.  “Silly as ever.” She grins at Carmilla. “I’m Laura.  Laura Hollis.”

Carmilla looks her up and down.  “Okay. But I still don’t know you.”

“Well, I should hope not,” Laura replies smugly.  “What was it you once said to me? ‘ _ I’d never forget a cutie like you, cupcake.’ _ ”

 

Carmilla swallows hard, clearly realizing what Laura is alluding to.

“Got somewhere we can talk privately?” Laura asks.  Carmilla eyes her warily and Laura huffs. “Unless you want me to publicly blurt out about your Chrono-impairment?”

“My  _ what _ ?” Carmilla asks.

Laura rolls her eyes.  “Your time traveling.”

Carmilla’s eyes widen and for the first time, it occurs to Laura that Future Carmilla was not exaggerating two years ago.  This Carmilla really  _ is _ unpredictable and very apt to freak out.

 

Did meeting her really make Carmilla  _ that _ much more confident about her condition?  It was hard for Laura to believe.

Carmilla seems to be dissociating so hard that she gets that look that Laura’s recognized she gets right before she travels.

_ I need to ground her. _

 

Laura reaches out and gently grabs her arm, grounding her.

“Carmilla.”  Laura’s voice and her touch seem to get through to her.  “Carm. Employee break room?”

Carmilla manages a frantic nod and Laura drags her away from the scattered patrons in the public area.

 

Laura finds the room and sits Carmilla down on a couch, before running off to fetch her a cup of cold water.  Carmilla gulps it down before burying her face in her hands and taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… make you panic or almost travel,” Laura mumbles sheepishly, still slightly shaken herself at seeing such an insecure Carmilla.  “This is pretty new territory for both of us.”

Carmilla stares up at her, unsure of where to even start.

“I’ve known you for like, a decade and a half,” Laura says slowly.  “You… Well, an  _ older you _ , appeared one day in a park and you introduced yourself and explained that you travel through time without being able to control it.  And ever since, every so often you’d appear to me and I-I get you clothes and food and stuff until it’s time for you to disappear again.”

 

Carmilla continues to gawk at her  “H- _ How _ often?” she stammers.  “How many times have we met up?”

Laura thinks back.  “Uhmmm… about a dozen times?”

Carmilla’s mouth drops open.  “A  _ dozen _ times?”

Laura nods.  “So you can kinda understand why I wasn’t prepared for you to totally freak out back there?” she asks shyly.  “I’m really sorry. Like I said, I’m not used to you being so… uhh.”

“Fragile?” Carmilla supplies grumpily.

Laura chuckles.  “So lost and scared.”  She sits down beside Carmilla, taking care to give her some space.  “It’s just… I’ve known you since I was six years old. You were always so sure of yourself and so cool and unaffected and blasé.”

“Sounds like you had quite a crush on me,” Carmilla teases.

 

_ Abort, Hollis!  Abort!  _ “Yeeeeah...”  Laura laughs nervously.  “Anyway, the last time we saw each other was a couple years ago.  And I mean, you did give me a heads up that the next time I saw you, you wouldn’t recognize me.  It was just still… weird.”

Carmilla hums and looks at her apprehensively.  “So… you’re not… freaked out by this? By me?”

Laura laughs.  “Carm, you’ve been my best friend for pretty much my whole life.  I honestly thought time traveling was a common thing for an embarrassedly long amount of time.”  She shrugs. “If anything, since you’ve never met me before today, I’m pretty sure you’re the one with the validation to freak out.”

 

Carmilla takes a deep breath and looks into Laura’s understanding eyes.

“If, uh, you don’t mind… Can I have some time to process all this?  I mean, you seem like a really, really nice girl. And it’s great you know all about me-- probably more than I even know about me-- but it’s just… a lot.”

Laura nods with a smile.  “Of course. I definitely didn’t want the first time you meet me to be an ambush and I’m sorry it felt that way. I promise that wasn’t my intent.  Take all the time you need.” She pulls a small scrap of paper out of her book bag and scribbles on it with pen. “But if you ever wanna talk… here’s my number.”

 

Carmilla chuckles as she takes it. “Smooth, sundance.”

Laura grins.  “Learned from the best.”  She checks her phone and quickly slings her backpack over her shoulder.  “Welp, gotta go. Gotta get ready for the first week back at university. But anytime you wanna talk, go ahead and call or text.  I’ll answer.”

“Anytime?” Carmilla asks teasingly.

“Anytime.  Cross my heart and hope to die,” Laura nods. 

 

Laura runs back out, completely forgetting to reserve a table.

Because her timeline finally met up with Carmilla’s.  And who knows what would happen next?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	13. The Phone Call and the Book Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an emotionally-charged travel, Carmilla reaches out to Laura to ground her. Laura and Carmilla hang out.

**September 2012**

 

This semester truly was more stressful than previous ones and Laura was pulling a lot of all-nighters-- or at the very least, late-nights working on papers and doing readings.

Unfortunately, this was proving to be the former and she was pushing through another sleepless night of work in her apartment.

She hadn’t heard from Carmilla in a couple weeks after seeing her, and was avoiding the library in order to give her some space.

 

Which is why, when her phone rang at 4:55am, she was tempted to ignore it.  But something told her to answer it anyway. After all, she was awake already, wasn’t she?

 

“Hello?” she answers, a bit surprised at how tired and raspy her own voice sounded.

“ _ L-L…Laura? _ ” a small, scared voice says.

Laura tries and fails to suppress a yawn through her shock at hearing the familiar person on the other end.  “Carm?” A longer yawn. “Carmilla?”

“ _ I—Yeah.  I, I just… _ ”  There’s a pause and Laura tries to contain her excitement at hearing Carmilla call her and decides not to push.  “ _ Oh, shit.  Oh,  _ fuck _. _ _ It’s  _ so _ late.  I’m so sorry _ .”

“One could say it’s actually just really early _ , _ ” Laura replies with a chuckle, hoping to try and relieve some of whatever tension was causing Carmilla to sound so fragile during this call. “It’s fine, Carm.”

 

“ _ It’s almost five o’clock in the morning _ ,” Carmilla sighs.

“More like It’s fine o’clock, am I right?” Laura giggles, knowing Carmilla is rolling her eyes.  She clears her throat. “Why  _ did _ you call, though?  I assume it wasn’t for my awesome comedy material.”

There’s another pause and Laura decides maybe Carmilla does need a small nudge, after all.  Especially if she’s never been able to speak freely about her condition like this, before.

 

“When did you travel to?” Laura asks softly.

Carmilla’s breath hitches in her throat.  “How…”

“In those fifteen years of you traveling back to me, I changed a lot. So did you, but I guess some things never change,” Laura replies lightly.  “You always sound a little frazzled after you’ve traveled. It’s just tonight, you sound… more so.”

Carmilla takes a deep breath.  “ _ 2007 _ .”

Laura knew Carmilla had run away towards the end of high school, so she took an educated guess.  “…Your mom? The fight?”

 

There’s a shocked pause on the other end and Laura suddenly remembers her promise to Future Carmilla to be gentle with her when she meets her.

“Crap! Sorry!  I promised you— _ Future You _ —that I’d try to keep the knowledge I have about you to a minimum,” Laura rambles.  “Coz it might freak you out. Did I freak you out? Oh, hufflepuff, I’ve totally freaked you out and now you’re too freaked out to tell me I’m freaking you out--”

“Laura _ , _ ” Carmilla interrupts through laughter.  “ _ Can you please stop ‘freaking out?’ _ ”

“Yes,” Laura squeaks, plopping down backwards on her couch in embarrassment.

 

Carmilla huffs out a long sigh.  “I’m sorry. I-I’m not even sure why I called you.  Just… seeing her, seeing me  _ with _ her...”

Her voice trails off and Laura waits a few seconds.  “Carm? Are you still there?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Carmilla says.  There’s a shorter pause.  “ _ I, uhm… feel better.  So I’ll let you get back to sleep now. _ ”

 

Laura laughs lightly.  “I’m glad you’re feeling better _. _ ”

She tries to think of something else to say, moving the phone away from her face to check the time.  Just to drop it straight on her face.

“Dang it.  Just dropped the phone on my face,” she giggles sheepishly, with another tiny yawn.

“ _ Laura _ ?” Carmilla tries shyly, before she can change her mind.

“Yes?”

“ _ Do... you maybe wanna hang out sometime? _ ” Carmilla asks.  “ _ Seems a little unfair that you know all about me and I don’t know anything about you. _ ”

Laura tries to contain her excitement, but she still leaps off her couch and does a little jig in place.

“I have just the place in mind,” she squeals, making Carmilla chuckle.  “I’ll text you the deets _. _ ”

“‘ _ Deets?’  You know, only a dork says that, _ ” Carmilla teases.

_ Yup.  Same ol’ Carm.   _ Laura giggles.  “So I’ve been told.”

“ _ Goodnight, Laura.  And thank you. _ ”

“Goodnight, Carm _. _ ”

  
  


Laura’s examining the pamphlet when she hears footsteps approach her.

“Gotta admit, I’ve never been here before,” Carmilla says.

“Whoa, really?” Laura exclaims, leaping to her feet.  “No way! But you love stars and astronomy and stuff!”

Carmilla averts her gaze.  “I don’t really do a lot of… fun things.”

Laura gives her a befuddled look as she hands Carmilla her ticket, which Laura had insisted on buying.

“Kinda hard to plan to do anything in public when I never know if I’ll vanish and be displaced by a decade,” she grumbles.

Laura’s face softens and she takes Carmilla’s hand in hers. She’d never even thought of that. “Well, if you do that in there, I’ll just tell people you got beamed up into a UFO.”  She lets go of Carmilla and does some jazz hands. “ _ I want to believe! _ ” she declares dramatically.

Carmilla shakes her head, amused.  “Alright, alright. Come on, Mulder.”

 

Laura giggles and drags Carmilla through the lobby to the line-- which they’re at the front of.

Carmilla frowns as she skims her own pamphlet.  “We’re an hour early.”

Laura nods eagerly.

“ _ Why _ are we an hour early?”

“So we can get a good seat, duh,” Laura says brightly.

Carmilla stares at her skeptically but doesn’t argue.

 

“So, uh, I actually don’t know too much of your adult life.  I didn’t even know you work at the university library,” Laura admits.

Carmilla shrugs.  “The schedule is pretty flexible.  And a friend of mine is the branch manager and she knows about my… condition.”

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Mattie?”

“How did you know?” Carmilla asks.

“Well, as far as I know, she’s your only other frie...”  Laura giggles nervously. “...She’s the only other person who knows about you,” she amends quickly.  “Wow, I never knew you and Mattie work together.”

Carmilla smirks.  “Well, I have to keep some of my secrets. Otherwise I'll lose my air of mystery, won't I?”

 

Laura nods, her face bunched up in thought.

“Read any good books lately? Or even right now?” Laura asks.

Carmilla reaches into her bag.  “Yeah, actually. I just finished thi--”

“Would you two like to come in early?” a man walking by asks.  She pulls out a keyring. “The speaker is actually in there already, setting up.  I doubt she’d mind.”

Laura looks over at Carmilla, who nods.  “Sure.”

“Thank you!” Laura beams as they walk past her.

 

She makes a beeline for two seats directly in the center of the room, waving enthusiastically at the speaker, who’s going over her notes.  The speaker waves back politely, with a genuine smile on her face.

“Wait,” Carmilla says once they’ve settled in, “all we’ve done so far is find out more about me.”

“Yeah, you and your super air of mystery,” Laura jokes.

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  “Your turn. You apparently know all about my parents.  What about yours?”

Laura picks at the edge of her pamphlet.  “Uhm, mom passed away when I was six years old.  Dad has done great, considering. Slightly over protective.”  She chuckles. “Okay,  _ very _ overprotective.  And I mean, we had a rough few years, but my friends helped me get through them.”

“So, together, we have one full set of parents,” Carmilla comments.

Laura raises an eyebrow.  “You want to be siblings?”

Carmilla chuckles and Laura laughs too.  “Definitely. Not.” She looks down at Laura’s endearingly large book bag.  “What are you studying?”

 

“Journalism,” Laura replies. “I think the truth is powerful and people have a right to know.”

Now it’s Carmilla’s turn to raise an eyebrow.  “Not exactly the most reassuring thing someone with my… issues… wants to hear.”

“Oh, don’t worry.  I’ve been sworn to secrecy with the highest of oaths,” Laura comments vaguely.  “If lil’ seven year old me didn’t go around blabbing about it, I think 21 year old me can handle it.”

Carmilla nods, satisfied. She pauses and gestures at Laura. “How much more little are we talkin’, here? Coz...”

Laura laughs and playfully smacks Carmilla on the arm.  “You’re only like, an inch taller than me.”

“It’s an important inch.”

 

People have started entering the planetarium, but that doesn’t stop them from carrying on with their conversation.  Carmilla asks a bit about Laura’s friends, and her interests-- which mainly consists of Laura listing off a bunch of shows and being horrified when Carmilla admits she hasn’t seen most of them.

What  _ does _ stop their conversation is the moment the presentation starts.  The stars project around them, swirling in cosmic magnificence. Laura watches as Carmilla’s mouth shuts immediately, and her eyes twinkle in awe.

She feels a little bad that she completely ignores the presenter’s lecture about how this is the only exhibit in the museum that looks forward to the future, rather than focus on the past.  But ever since she’d seen Carmilla in the library, she’d been trying to keep her promise to rein in her enthusiasm at seeing her best friend again.  

 

And here she was, staring up in wonder.  Laura’s pretty sure she could see tears in her eyes.

This was the first time since bumping into Carmilla that Laura could bask in having her at her side again, and for way longer than she could have her before.

She looked as lovingly kind and tragically beautiful as she did the moment Laura met her.  And in every moment since.

* * *

  
  


“Please tell me you didn’t pay $30 for that,” Carmilla says once they’ve left the museum.

“Of course not,” Laura answers.  “I paid $25. Student discount.” Then something occurs to her, and she pouts, eyes wide and sad.  “Wait! Did you not enjoy it?”

Carmilla’s shoulders slump forward and she stares at Laura in disbelief.  “Of  _ course _ I enjoyed it!”

Laura continues to look at her in confusion.

“I’m not sure  _ you _ enjoyed it,” Carmilla explains as she follows Laura down the street.

“Ohh.”  Laura laughs.  “I’ve come here before for class trips.  So I just figured I’d have more fun staring at y...”

Carmilla stares at her expectantly.

“Yonder.  Staring over yonder,” Laura covers messily, almost missing a turn.

“‘Yonder?’” Carmilla asks, a mischievous tone in her voice.  “See, now I’m hurt. I thought you were staring at  _ me _ .”

“You?  Wh-Why would I be staring at you?” Laura squeaks, her voice cracking nervously.

 

“I dunno,” Carmilla says, her voice low.  “It’s not like you had a crush on Future Me or anything, right?”

Laura gapes at her and mumbles something like, “River give me strength” as she quickens her pace towards their next destination.

Carmilla smirks and follows after her.  “Where are we going?”

Laura looks at her, still trying and failing to hide a growing blush.  “Book store.”

Carmilla hums in response, still amused at how flustered Laura’s gotten.  “Well, regardless of what or who you spent that entire presentation watching,” she comments, “I had a great time.  Thank you.”

Laura grins at that.  “You ain’t seen nothing yet, Karnstein.”

 

She leads Carmilla into the largest bookstore in town. “Ever hear of a book share?”

Carmilla frowns. “No.”

Laura pulls out a book and a slip of paper.  “You put one book in and pick another book to take out.”  She walks over and places one book on the shelf. “Pick a random book.”

Carmilla walks over and selects one, beginning to pull it out.   _ The Night Circus _ , by Erin Morgenstern.

“Not that one,” Laura says.

Carmilla moves a few to the right and, before she can take that one, Laura shakes her head.  “Not that one, either.”

“Listen, cutie...” Carmilla growls.

Laura laughs.  “Trust me, okay?  Pick another one.”

This goes on for a few more times before Carmilla’s gone several shelves away and seems resigned to spend the rest of her life going through books, only to be rejected.

 

“Fantastic!” Laura says, putting the paper away.  They walk away, with Laura fully aware that Carmilla is glaring at her.

After they leave the bookstore, Laura brings her to a small park a couple blocks away.  They sit near a tree and Laura pulls the paper back out.

“Soooo, are you gonna tell me what the hell that was about?” Carmilla says grumpily.

Laura scribbles something on the paper and turns it so Carmilla can see it.  Dozens of book titles are written on it. Including titles of books Carmilla had chosen that Laura had said no to.  Her eyebrows furrow together in confusion.

 

“You gave this list the last time I saw you,” Laura explains.  “As far as we know, this is every book you’ve ever picked.”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “What?”

Laura points to the first title on the book.  “The first time we ever met. Ever. In any timeline.  You picked this book.”

It was the first book Carmilla chose this time, too.

“That version of you came up with an idea.  She waited until she knew it’d be the last time she’d travel back to see me before a younger You met me, like we did the other day in the library.  And she told Past Me what book she had picked. And told her to have you pick another book.” She points at the second title.

The second book Carmilla chose this time, too.

 

“Ever since, every time we’ve met, you’ve chosen a different book.  You tell Past Me all the books you can remember, and I write it down and keep the list for you to memorize later when you meet me.”  Laura taps the paper for emphasis. “Do you know why?”

Carmilla shakes her head, marveling at the fact that the list filled up one side of the sheet of paper and is on its way to filling out the second side.

Laura holds up the book they wound up choosing.   _ Huntress  _ by Malinda Lo.

“You’ve been stuck in a circle, Carmilla Karnstein.  Never able to truly live life and move forward because you keep getting thrown around your own life.  Stuck seeing some of what your future holds, or having to relive some awful, awful events of your past.”  She slowly hands the book to Carmilla. “By doing something you’ve never done before-- in any timeline, in any iteration-- you’re breaking the cycle.  Who knows what one small decision has?”

“Like the butterfly effect,” Carmilla says softly.  “One small initial difference can lead to large unforeseen consequences over time.”

Laura nods.  “Like a ripple.”  She shrugs. “To be fair, we might never know if this little experiment will result in different outcomes.  But it couldn’t hurt to try, right?”

 

Carmilla looks at her with an unreadable expression.

“And I think it’s kinda beautiful that we’re not giving up or giving in to whatever destiny or fate might be written out for us with this whole time travel thing,” Laura continues rambling.

“‘We?’” Carmilla asks, her tone also unreadable.

Laura stares at her for a bit and smiles, nudging her playfully.  “Yeah, Carm.  _ We _ .”

Her expression softens a bit and she pulls back.

 

“Crap, sorry.  I keep forgetting that to you, we just met.  I didn’t mean to cross any lines.”

Carmilla’s expression finally softens.  “Do you know why I called you the other night after my trip back to 2007?”

Laura shakes her head shyly.

Carmilla takes a deep breath.  “Because even though I just met you, something about you feels safe, and warm, and kind.  I can’t explain it-- maybe it’s because we’ve apparently met so many times before-- but all I know is that when I came back from seeing my mother, I felt lost.  Like I’m powerless and floating through time. And when I’m with you, I don’t feel lost. I feel grounded.”

 

Laura reaches out to take her hand, but hesitates.  Carmilla brings her hand forward with a nod of consent.

“Carm, I promise, you’re not alone anymore.  In whatever capacity you want me in your life-- whether it’s someone to call at 5am to ground you, or someone to take you to the museum, or, uh… visit you at work...”

Carmilla laughs softly.  “I think I’d like that very much.”

“Wh-Which one?” Laura asks.

This laugh comes out louder.  “All of them, cupcake. Like you said, I just met you.  But I’d like to spend more time with you. Assuming you’d like to spend more time with me.”

Laura nods.  “Of course! There’s a nice spot in the park we used to go to.  Or, uhm, that we will go to, in your case.”

Carmilla grins.  “Great. Then it’s a da--”

 

Laura blinks as, not for the first time, she watches Carmilla Karnstein disappear before her very eyes.  She lets out a sigh as she collects Carmilla’s clothes and belongings and puts them into her backpack.

And for the first time in any timeline, Laura Hollis opens  _ Huntress  _ by Malinda Lo, and starts reading.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	14. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura hang out again a couple more times.

**September 2012**

 

A few days go by and Laura stakes out the spot in the park, studying in her car at night and napping on the park bench in the daytime.  She isn’t totally sure what the rules are for Carmilla when she travels back to her present, since Laura’s only been on the receiving end of Carmilla’s travels thus far.

_ But her traveling back to the same spot she leaves sounds logical, right? _

 

She’s gone back to her car to charge her phone when she hears a commotion behind her.  Laura whirls and realizes Carmilla  _ has _ reappeared in the same place she left. In broad daylight.  Right out in the open.

She gets several horrified stares before Laura manages to swipe a large blanket she’s been using and throws it over Carmilla.

“Aaaaand that was our act!  The Mysteriously Appearing Naked Lady!  You’re lucky you got to see this at all—the chances of you seeing her doing it around the city ever again are slim!” Laura’s panicked voice rings out.  “Let’s go, Naked Lady.”

Carmilla follows in the direction Laura pulls her in, sighing in relief.

 

Laura opens the passenger door and helps her in.  Carmilla pulls the cloth off her head and lets it fall around her shoulders.

“Man, you are lucky I’ve barely left this spot since you disappeared,” Laura says once she gets into the driver’s seat.  She reaches into the back seat and hands Carmilla a pile of clothes. “Just as you left them.”

“I’m, uh, comfortable in this,” Carmilla mumbles lamely.

Laura looks at her skeptically.  “Still trying not to freak you out but… I  _ have _ seen you naked before.  There’s no way that itchy blanket is comfortable.  I should know, I’ve been sleeping with it for the past few days.  If you want I’ll leave the car so you can change in peace?”

Carmilla stares at her.  “You’ve just been parked here waiting for me to come back?  For days?”

“Well, yeah.  I’m not about to let my best friend get arrested for public indecency,” Laura laughs.  She opens the driver door and steps out.

“Just knock on your window when you’re done,” she says sweetly.

 

Carmilla nods and Laura closes the door.

Laura isn’t quite sure when Carmilla just traveled to, but there was frosting on her nose.  She pretends not to hear Carmilla’s sniffles inside the car, and the tear-stained cheeks when she finally gets back into the car after Carmilla knocks.

They don’t seem to be sad tears, though.

 

* * *

 

**October 2012**

 

“Hope you haven’t lost your ability to bake some tasty cupcakes,” Carmilla comments as she settles down on a blanket across from Laura in the park.

Laura laughs.  Apparently Carmilla had traveled back for the first time to see Laura in November 1999, when the two of them visited Laura’s mom’s grave with a bunch of sandwiches and cupcakes in tow.  “Just don’t insult my sandwiches again.”

“I make no guarantees,” Carmilla replies.  Then her eyes widen. “Wait, it’s not your mom’s anniversary, is it?”

Laura shakes her head with a smile.  “No, but I’ve perfected the ability to cry and pout to get my way with you over the years.”

Carmilla holds up her hands in mock surrender.  “Consider me aptly warned.”

 

Laura grins and unwraps her sandwich.

“So what have you got planned after being stuck in a car the past few days alone?” Carmilla asks.

Laura cocks her head to the side, smiling.

“What?” Carmilla asks.

“Nothing.  You just seem more… relaxed.  Lighter,” Laura observes.

 

Carmilla takes a slow, thoughtful bite of the sandwich.  “Hmm,” she hums contentedly.

Laura raises an eyebrow.  “What?”

“Tastes better.”

“Well, I should hope so.  It’d kinda suck if my sandwich-making skills peaked at the tender age of eight.”

 

“ _ Well, as I live and breathe _ ,” a voice says sarcastically nearby.  “ _ Laura Hollis? With someone else? In  _ public _? _ ”

Laura rolls her eyes as she hears Danny runs over to them and faces Carmilla.

“Are you holding her hostage?  Did you bribe her? How ever did you get this girl to leave her apartment?”

“Ha. Ha.  So funny, Danny,” Laura says dryly.

Perry walks over, narrowing her eyes in concentration at Carmilla.  “Wait a minute. We’ve seen her before, haven’t we?” she says to LaFontaine.

“Jesus, cupcake.  Does a redhead support group meet up around here or something?” Carmilla comments.

“Oh, sweet Christmas,” Perry remarks.  “Isn’t this the gal Laura brought to--”

Laura’s eyes widen, knowing that Present Carmilla finding out that Past Carmilla went with her to prom would  _ definitely _ be in  _ spoilers _ territory.  “--This is Carmilla, yep,” she interrupts.  “The Carmilla you guys met is this Carmilla in the future.  As in, she has  _ no idea _ what you’re about to talk about, LaFontaine,” she adds pointedly.

 

LaFontaine snickers.  “Have an aneurism, why don’t you?”

Laura crosses her arms.

“Sh-She’s not really a time traveler, right?” Perry stammers, nervously glancing from Laura to Carmilla.  “Right? You’re not?”

Carmilla stares at Laura, all teasing tone dropped.  “So it’s actually a support group for redheads you’ve blabbed my secret to?”

Laura’s mouth drops open in offense.  “It was  _ SO _ not my fault!”

“Oh, yeah?  Then whose was it?” Carmilla demands in an angry growl.

Danny cackles.  “It was  _ yours _ , H. G. Wells.”

Carmilla frowns.

“I mean, when Laur was little she was going on and on about her friend, the time traveler, til about middle school,” LaFontaine says.  “But we all thought she was crazy. Some of us still do, right, Perry?”

Perry scoffs.  “Well, of course.  There’s no such thing as time traveling, o-or Chrono-impairment, or whatever you want to call it!”

 

LaFontaine nods eagerly.  “Sure, Per. Sure. That totally explains why Carmilla here looks at least half a decade younger than the last time we saw her.”

Perry huffs but doesn’t reply.

“So you really don’t have any memory of meeting us?” Danny asks, a mix between dubious and curious.

Carmilla shakes her head.

“She just met me in her timeline,” Laura explains.

Danny frowns.  “So your fifteen years of knowing each other…?”

“Hasn’t happened for her, yet,” Laura surmises.

 

“Yikes.  That’s awful,” LaFontaine replies.  “Must feel pretty horrible, Hollis.”  Perry gives them a pointed look when both Laura and Carmilla deflate a bit.  “Or, uh. …Well, too late, I guess I said  _ that _ already.”

They stick out a hand at Carmilla.

“I’m LaFontaine.  Studying bio over at Silas U.”

Carmilla stares at the hand and Laura lightly elbows her.  She rolls her eyes but shakes LaFontaine’s hand.

“I’m Lola Perry.  I’m studying business administration.”

“And I’m Danny.  I’m studying politics.”

 

Carmilla gives a small wave.

“You can trust them with the secret, Carm,” Laura says gently.  “Plus, like Danny said, you’re the one who revealed it to them. Or.. will reveal it?”

“Or maybe I’ll find them so annoying now that I’ll make sure I never reveal it to them at all,” Carmilla jokes.

Laura laughs.  “Puh-leez. You’d be dying to do it eventually just to drive the point home that you’re this cool, enigmatic time traveler.  And that I was just a girl crushing hard on you with no chance.”

“ _ ’Was _ ?‘” LaFontaine snorts, cackling when Laura gives them a panicked look.

 

“‘ _ Guys, guys, _ ’” Danny begins mockingly, in a high voice, “‘ _ Carmilla is so cool and she already knows everything about me and my mom and my dad and she’s such a badass!  Maybe one day she’ll teach me how to be cool and flirty. _ ’”

Laura turns a bright shade of red and covers her face.  “Daaaannyyyy!”

Danny cackles, giving her a small punch on the arm.  “Just messin’ with ya, Hollis.”

 

“So what do you two lovebirds have planned today?” LaFontaine asks, grinning when Laura lets out a horrified squeak.

When neither Laura nor Carmilla answer, Perry grabs LaFontaine and Danny by their arms and begins dragging them away.  “Come on, you two. That’s enough messing with Laura for one day.” She lets go of LaFontaine, who obediently marches onward.  “Nice to see you again, Carmilla!”

LaF and Danny smugly wave goodbye and Laura lets out a long sigh.

“Sorry about that.  My friends tend to like to watch me freak out,” Laura apologizes.  “According to them  _ and you _ , it’s hilarious.”

 

Carmilla hums but doesn’t say much else as she finishes her sandwich and a cupcake. It isn’t until they start cleaning up that Laura finally decides to speak up.

“Are you okay?”

Carmilla averts her gaze as Laura picks up the picnic basket.  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Laura shrugs and starts walking.  “You’ve been quiet ever since my friends left.  And, I mean… if you’re upset about them knowing about you, I swear once I was old enough to know better, I stopped blabbing about your time traveling.  But then you went and--”

“—told them, yeah,” Carmilla says quietly, matching Laura’s pace.  “I’m not upset about that. I mean, I’m a little upset. But if you trust them and you’re saying Future Me trusts them, then who am I to argue?”

 

“Then what’s wrong?” Laura asks gently.

Carmilla sighs and stops walking, so Laura stops, too.

“Is that really what you think I was doing?  Or… will be doing?”

“What?” Laura asks, confused.

“Using my… chrono-impairment and my romantic wiles to take advantage of you?”

Laura’s eyes widen.  “No! No, that was just a joke!”

Carmilla looks at her skeptically.

Laura huffs and sits down on a bench.  “I mean, was it a  _ little _ intimidating to know that you had, like, years of experience as this professional Laura Expert?  Well… yeah.” She chuckles. “And, I did have a front-row seat to watching you talk about your luck with the ladies, but… You were like, that cool older gal who gave me the time of day and was my best friend who popped up and had answers to my silly little problems.  But I swear I never felt like you were exploiting me or taking advantage of me. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Carmilla looks immensely relieved, but there’s still doubt in her eyes.

 

Laura takes a deep breath and speaks hesitantly.  “Okay, we’re… venturing into ‘spoilers’ territory here, but the last time I saw you, we were a mess.  Coz you knew it was going to be the last time I’d see you traveling back to see me before you met me. And I was a wreck coz I knew that that meant the next time I saw you, I’d be looking into your eyes and not see any sign of recognition.  Just the thought of that destroyed me. And, well, as my friends so wonderfully blurted out just now, I was crushing big-time on you.”

Carmilla remains silent, rather than tease her.

“It would’ve been so easy for you to take advantage of my vulnerability or my crush but, not once in fifteen years of knowing you, have I felt like you were ever even capable of doing that to me.  If anything, that last time I saw you, you were being more sentimental and gentle with me than usual.”

 

Carmilla smiles.  “Yeah?”

Laura nods.  “Yeah.” She offers a warm smile.  “How about we go to our respective homes, and then meet up again tonight to blow off some steam?  I’m sure all of this has been hard on you.”

Carmilla lets out a soft chuckle.  “Hard on  _ both _ of us.  Your friend was right.  Your best friend not knowing who you are must feel awful.” She sighs.  “I think blowing off some steam sounds pretty good to me. What did you have in mind?”

Laura pulls a flyer for a frat party out of her bag and shyly shows it to Carmilla, whose eyes widen before she grins.

“You’re constantly full of surprises, cutie.  Did you know that?”

 

* * *

 

“Don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice?” Carmilla asks, amused when she sees Laura in a long flowing white top standing outside the frat house that’s hosting the party Laura wanted to go to.

Laura narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  “I’m not the one in a corset, which… wow.”

Honestly, it was no surprise Carmilla picked the dress she did when they went to prom-- or will pick.

Carmilla smirks as Laura is clearly taking her time appreciating Carmilla’s tight black corset.  When Laura realizes she’s been caught, she quickly averts her gaze and clears her throat.

“Besides, this is just my coat, not my actual outfit,” Laura says as they approach the house.

She and Kirsch spot each other at the same time and he smiles at Laura.  “You came!”

She beams back at him.  “Of course, Kirsch. Showed up just for you.  Couldn’t leave my dude-scort hanging, could I?”

Kirsch looks next to Laura and his mouth drops open.  “Holy chalupa.”

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together.  “You.”

 

“You guys know each other?” Laura asks.

“She beat me up and stole my clothes,” Kirsch whimpers, taking an involuntary step back.  “R-Remember that night in high school I showed up at your house in nothing but my underwear?”

Laura tries and fails to stifle a giggle. It was a hilarious memory.  To her. Sherman was less amused. “Yes, Kirsch.” She glances over at Carmilla.  “Are you telling me  _ she _ is the one who did that to you?”

He nods frantically.  “She’s scary, dude.”

“You have no idea,” Carmilla comments with a smirk as she walks past Kirsch.

 

Laura pats him on the arm reassuringly.  “I’ll make sure you don’t lose your clothes again.”

“Thank you,” he says in a sob.

 

By the time Laura catches up to Carmilla, she’s snickering.

Laura rolls her eyes.  “I cannot believe you beat up my dude-scort and took his clothes,” she comments, amused.

“What the hell is a dude-scort?” Carmilla asks as they approach the drinks.

Laura starts filling a cup from a punch bowl.  “In my freshman year of high school, there were reports of attacks and robberies in the neighborhood.  So, the school set up a system where the athletes would escort other kids home for community service hours.”

“Wow.  A strong male protecting a woman.  What an original concept,” Carmilla comments dryly as she gives a grateful nod after Laura hands her a drink.

“Female athletes were escorts, too,” Laura says, starting on her own cup.  “Kirsch just thought it was an adorable title for himself. Especially once he figured out I could do a better job at defending myself than he could.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Dad had me learning Krav Maga to keep me busy after we lost my mom.  He wasn’t thrilled with the whole dude-scort thing, but once he met Kirsch and realized he wasn’t some jock that would try something on me, he was cool with the whole arrangement.”  Laura laughs, stepping away from the table with her drink. “He even gave Kirsch a change of clothes to wear after you apparently took his clothes.”

 

Carmilla has an unreadable expression as they settle in on an empty couch.

“What’s on your mind?” Laura asks carefully.

Carmilla shrugs, but it’s obvious she knows exactly what it is.

“Carm?” Laura presses, still being gentle.

Carmilla takes a deep breath.  “The, uhm, robberies and attacks…  I think they were…”.

Laura’s eyes widen.  “You?”

“If it was in the same area that I robbed your friend then… yeah,” Carmilla admits, averting her gaze.  “My mom’s old office was nearby and sometimes I’d travel on my way to and from there and when I’d come back I wouldn’t have clothes so...”  She clamps her eyes closed.

 

“Oh… man,” Laura replies.  Then she breaks into a fit of giggles.  Then full-out laughter.

Carmilla slowly opens her eyes in surprise.

“Who knew that my best friend was such a troublemaker?” Laura says.

“You’re not… turned off?  Or freaked out? Or disillusioned?” Carmilla asks, unsure.

Laura stops laughing and stares at her, confused.  Then she regards Carmilla carefully as she downs the rest of her drink.  Maybe laughing at Carmilla in public while one of her robbery victims was in the vicinity wasn’t the most sympathetic thing Laura could be doing right now.

 

“Why don’t we go blow off steam elsewhere?” she suggests.  “Somewhere alone? I really did just wanna stop by to see Kirsch.”

Carmilla offers a small smile.  “I think I’d like that. Very much.”

Laura gets off the couch and holds out a hand, pulling Carmilla up.

Carmilla looks into the cup with a scowl.  “You’d think a frat party would at least spike their punch.”

Laura shakes her head with an amused chuckle.  “It’s a dry party, Carm. One of their brothers just died in a drunken accident so they’re holding the party in his honor.  He was Kirsch’s roommate.”

“Oh.  Oops,” Carmilla says sheepishly.

 

On their way out, Carmilla stops to offer a nervous Kirsch her condolences, and Laura gives him a hug and a promise they’ll hang out more often.

“Did you really want something stronger to drink?” Laura asks.  “I thought alcohol triggers your time traveling.”

“It, uh, does if I drink copious amounts of it,” Carmilla mumbles.

Laura frowns and they stop walking.  “How about we go back to my place? I have some beers in my fridge and if they make you travel, at least we know you’ll reappear some place safe?”

Carmilla doesn’t reply and fixates on a spot on the ground.

 

“Carm,” Laura says softly.  “There’s nothing to be ashamed about.  I know exactly everything you’ve done in your past.  All the good parts and the bad. And I know exactly what I’m getting into by spending time with you.  I’ve spent a very large part of my life listening to you talk about your triggers and where your limits are.  I promise, nothing that you’ve got in your past—or your future—is gonna make me feel ‘disillusioned’ or freaked out or turned off.”

Carmilla looks up and there are tears in her eyes.

_ Why is she crying? _ Laura panicks.   _ Am I pressuring her?  Am I freaking her out? Again?? _

“But also if you don’t feel comfortable coming to my place, that’s fine,” Laura quickly starts rambling.  “I mean you did just meet me for like, the fifth time—fourth if we count both dat…hangouts today as one—so I’m essentially a stranger inviting you into her home--”

 

“Laura,” Carmilla interrupts with a sobbed chuckle.  “Please stop talking.” She wipes some of her tears away.  “We can do that. We can go back to your place. Please.”

Laura giggles nervously.  “Okay. Cool.”

 

They walk to Laura’s apartment in an awkward silence and Carmilla aimlessly stands in her living room as Laura get a few beers from the fridge.  Carmilla chugs half the bottle before Laura even gets a sip from hers.

“Better?” Laura asks around a laugh.  She takes a swig from her bottle.

“Much,” Carmilla says, finishing her bottle and opening another.  “I think… Maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now.”

Laura narrows her eyes playfully.  “That’d be more flattering if it didn’t make me sound like a canapé.”  She nudges Carmilla lightly. “ _ There’s _ the flirty Carm I know.  Breakin’ hearts, takin’ names.”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “If I crossed a line, you could’ve just said something.”

“No, no,” Laura replies.  “There is a total absence of line-crossing.  I swear.”

 

Carmilla plays with the neck of the bottle and watches as Laura drinks more of her first beer.

“What you said back there… It means the world to me,” Carmilla admits softly.

Laura continues to sip from her bottle, letting Carmilla speak.

“I mean, yeah, I’ve had Mattie to help me out and be like an older sister to me.  But it’s different with you. There’s just… there’s something about you.”

Carmilla shakes her head and takes a large swig.

 

“It’s like coming home and feeling like myself in a way I don’t think I ever have before,” she says.  “I feel like I’ve never  _ not _ been afraid—not since I traveled for the first time.  And I just came to accept that.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Laura finally replies.

“That’s just how it’s been,” Carmilla says with a sad shrug.  “It’s what I’ve had to do to survive every time I travel and every time I come back and… I’ve just  _ had _ to accept it.”

Laura shakes her head.  “ So, maybe that’s just how it is, but that does not mean that I have to accept it.  You deserve better.   You always have.  You always will.”

 

Carmilla looks at her, eyes soft.

For the first time, Laura sees the Carmilla she’s known for most of her life.  The Carmilla who hid nothing from her, who felt open and seen and valid.

“Hey,” Laura says.

“Hey,” Carmilla says back.  There’s something else in her eyes, a question.  “May I kiss you?” she asks, barely above a whisper.

Laura nods with a smile.

And then she leans forward, pausing halfway.

 

Carmilla meets her in the middle and their lips graze at first.  She deepens the kiss and so does Laura, and it feels like warm electricity and a sea of happiness and home crashing together.

Another feeling kicks in, but she revels in the kiss, using all her willpower to focus on Laura.

When Laura opens her eyes, Carmilla’s gone.

 

Just a pile of clothes before her.

 

Laura laughs softly and shakes her head.  “At least that was worth the wait.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	15. The Freak-Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla returns to find she's been gone for months and landed in the middle of Laura's birthday celebration.

**January 2013**

 

November went by.  Then December.  

Laura didn’t bother to mention the fact that she bumped into Carmilla in the present to her dad when she saw him for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

She put Carmilla’s clothes in a safe place, and continued with her life to toil through finals and big reports.  Her friends knew better than to ask her about where Carmilla suddenly disappeared off to.

 

In the blink of an eye, it was nearing Laura’s birthday.  She decided to have a little get-together with her friends and her dad in her apartment.  Sherman was quite tickled at the fact that he could still bring some leftover  _ Doctor Who- _ themed party supplies leftover from years ago.

“ _ Your dad asked if you were serious about the theme for your party _ ,” Danny laughs on the phone.

“He’s  _ still _ on that?  He already asked me last week and said he thinks he still has some napkins or plates left over if I really want to go through with this, so then I said, ‘dad, I’m almost 22 years old! …Of COURSE I want a  _ Doctor Who _ -themed--‘” Laura lets out a yelp when she turns a corner and collides right into Carmilla—a  _ naked _ Carmilla.

“ _ Hollis?  You okay? _ ”

Laura clears her throat.  “Yeah, Danny. Carm just reappeared.”

“ _ Holy shit _ .”

“Yeeeeah.  I’ll call you back,” Laura rushes out, walking around her towards another pile of clothes to hand to a frazzled-looking Carmilla. Her dad showing up to the apartment to find Carmilla in a leather corset probably wouldn’t go over as well, anyway. “Welcome back.”

 

Carmilla takes the clothes gratefully and puts the t-shirt on, trying not to fumble with it even though Laura’s chivalrously turned away to avert her eyes.  She frowns after she puts on some sweatpants. “Whoa, your hair’s grown a lot. H-How long have I been gone?”

“Uhmmm... a while,” Laura mumbles.  She didn’t want to make Carmilla panic.

Carmilla taps her shoulder to show her she’s done putting on the clothes.  “How long is ‘a while?’”

Laura chews her lip nervously.  “Uhm. It’s… mid-January.”

 

Carmilla’s mouth drops open.  “I’ve… I’ve been gone three months?”

Laura nods slowly and gives a weak chuckle.  “Happy belated Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s?”

“This hasn’t happened in a while,” Carmilla murmurs, sitting down on Laura’s couch in shock.

“Take your time,” Laura says carefully.  “When did you go this time?”

Carmilla starts to open her mouth but shakes her head.  “It’s not important.”

Laura frowns.  “Of course it’s--”

“Stop prying!  God  _ damnit _ ,” Carmilla snaps, making Laura flinch.

_ Oooookay... _

 

The doorbell rings and Laura hovers for a moment before letting out a small sigh and going to answer it.

“Happy birthday, sweetie!” Sherman shouts gleefully as soon as Laura opens the door. 

“Thanks, dad,” Laura replies warmly, stepping aside.

He walks past her and puts down two large shopping bags, before startling a bit at seeing Carmilla standing there.

“Oh!  And here I was thinking I’d be the first guest here.  You didn’t tell me Carmilla was gonna be here this year!”

Carmilla looks at him confusedly.

“Uhm, dad…”  Laura stands between him and Carmilla.  “This isn’t a Carmilla that’s traveled back in time.  This is a present-day Carmilla. Who’s only met me a few times.  And has no idea how we would know when she shows up, yet.”

Papa Hollis forms a small surprised “o” with his mouth.  His demeanor warms up even more with a wide grin.

 

“Well, nice to formally meet you, Carmilla! In your timeline, anyway. I’m Sherman,” he says, sticking out his hand.

She stares at it apprehensively before shaking it.

“Nice to meet you,” she mumbles.

“How nice of you to come to Laura’s birthday after just meeting her,” Sherman says.  “Must’ve been recent since I didn’t hear about you during Thanksgiving or at Christmas or New Year’s,” he adds pointedly to Laura.

Carmilla clears her throat awkwardly.  “I, uhh…”

 

The doorbell rings again and Laura steps towards her father.  “Dad, can you please let my friends in as they come and help everyone get settled in?  I need to talk to Carm alone for a sec.”

He tries to figure out his daughter’s weirdness for a moment before giving up and nodding, heading for the front door.

Laura gently guides Carmilla through the kitchen and onto a small balcony.

 

“Sorry, I know this is a lot,” Laura apologizes.

Carmilla shrugs.

“I’m gathering you don’t want to talk to my friends and dad about when you’ve been for the past few months,” Laura says gently.  “So if you wanna go be alone, you don’t have to stay for my birthday party.”

There’s a growing buzz from inside as Danny, Perry, and LaF begin decorating the apartment.

“But if you wanna stay coz it might take your mind off things, I’d like you to be here,” Laura admits shyly.

After some internal debate, Carmilla shrugs again.  “Sure. Why not?”

 

Laura frowns a bit at the lack of enthusiasm but decides to not let it bother her.

They head back inside and Laura giggles at the  _ Doctor Who _ -themed decorations.

There are streamers that have different Whovian alien paper cut-outs attached to them.  Themed cups, plates, and napkins are already laid out, as well as chips. Trays of frosting-decorated cookies of Daleks, Cybermen, and the TARDIS are placed around the room.

And everyone is wearing some sort of graphic t-shirt with either the logo for the show, or characters’ faces.

“I gave your corset to Mattie for her to bring back to your apartment,” Laura says when she notices Carmilla examining her shirt, handing Carmilla a cup of soda and a plate of chips.  “Didn’t wanna take a chance with my clumsiness and do something like trip and spill hot cocoa all over it.”

Carmilla hums and sips from the cup.  “Thanks.”

 

“I, uh, promise the fact that you’re in a  _ Doctor Who _ shirt is a coincidence,” Laura says around a bite of cookie.  “You can change out of it if you want.”

“And stick out even more?” Carmilla says pointedly.

Laura checks the room.  In spite of the buzz of conversation around them, all eyes seemed to be fixed on them.  “Ah, they’re probably just… staring at the birthday girl,” she comments, trying to lighten the mood.

“Right,” Carmilla replies lamely.  “Sorry. And sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

Laura laughs.  “You came back after being gone for three months to who-knows-when.  Best present ever!”

Carmilla freezes a bit at that and goes back to drinking from her cup, and Laura deflates a bit.

 

“Carm, I promise, you can go if you’re feeling overwhelmed,” Laura says as gently as possible.

“And ruin your _ best present ever _ ?” Carmilla snarls, a little too sharply and loudly.

The conversation around the room pauses before forcibly starting again.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Laura says sadly, unsure of what she’s doing or saying that’s wrong and upsetting Carmilla.  “I just meant it was nice to--”

“‘Nice?’”  Carmilla scoffs.  “Nothing about my  _ disease _ is  _ nice _ .  Stop pretending like anything you do to normalizes it is actually fixing anything.”

Laura pouts, growing more confused by the second.  “At least I’m trying to do  _ something. _ ”

“Oh, are you trying your very best? Because, I’m sure if you stay pure of heart and really believe that, that’ll make a difference,” Carmilla mocks.

Laura visibly goes from sad to outright upset.  “Well, it’s better than snapping at me and pretending to be all cool and disaffected, when really you’re just scared you’ll be alone.”

 

Carmilla stares at her, eyes watering.  “And do you really think you’re doing a lick of actual good?  Do you think I feel any less alone than I did before I met you?”

The conversation around them has ceased for good, now.

“You understand nothing.  Not about life.  Not about me.  And certainly not about what it takes to survive in a world that - you know what?”  She stands and shakes her head.  “The sooner you stop playing like we’re soulmates destined to be together, the better off you’ll be.”

 

Laura blinks at her, tears streaming down her face as she also stands.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean, just because you claim you’ve known me most of your life doesn’t mean we’re meant to spend the rest of it together,” Carmilla blurts out.

Laura stammers.  “I-I… Who said anything about us spending the rest of our lives together?  You clearly barely think of me as a friend even though the last time we saw each other we had our first kiss, so--”

“—So I think you kissed some romantic ideal you’ve made up in your head,” Carmilla interrupts.

Now Laura’s angry.

 

“I spent… YEARS… being told that Carmilla Karnstein was someone I made up in my head,” Laura growls, her voice cracking with emotion and pain.  “And, what? Now you’re saying the same thing? That the lady who visited me my whole life is just some woman who wants nothing to do with me because her chrono-impairments makes her all detached from any meaningful connections?”

Carmilla swallows hard.  “That’s who I am, Laura.”

Laura shakes her head.  “I don’t believe that. Not for a second.”

“Believe what you want,” Carmilla scoffs, pushing past her and heading for the door.  ”I’m done.”

Laura stands behind, dumbfounded before it hits her what’s happening. “Carm!”  She starts to run after her, but Carmilla’s already gone from the corridor.  “Please, Carm!” she cries out the doorway before stepping back inside with a sniffle.

 

Danny and Sherman both step forward, leaving enough space behind Laura so as not to crowd her.

“Well,” Kirsch says, taking a crunchy bite out of a chip, “at least she didn’t steal anyone’s clothes or beat them up this time?”

 

It takes a bit of time for everyone to calm Laura down and let her cry it out.

“The cake should be ready soon,” Perry offers as cheerfully as possible.

Laura gives her a grateful smile.  “Thanks.”

“I know I’m not really one to speak given our history,” Danny says, “but what the hell was that about?”

Laura sighs.  “I don’t know.  I don’t even know when she traveled to three months ago.”

“Has she ever behaved like that before?” Sherman asks.

Laura shakes her head.  “Never. Every time she’s traveled back to me, she’s always been so… calm and secure.  This is all so new to both of us.”

 

LaF quirks an eyebrow.  “Hey, Laur… can Carm travel  _ forwards _ in time?”

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Oh, LaF! You’re a genius!”  She jumps off her couch. “I gotta go find Carm!”

“ _ Wait!  The cake is ready! _ ” Perry shouts from the kitchen.

“Good thinking, I’ll bring her a slice,” Laura murmurs, heading to the kitchen before running out the door.

 

LaF huffs.  “She didn’t answer my question.”

 

* * *

 

It takes some driving around before Laura goes to the park bench Carmilla traveled away from after the book share-- which also happened to be where they went with the hot dogs and also the hot ciders.

She’s horrified to find Carmilla sitting out on the park bench with no coat, shivering and possibly losing consciousness.   _ Good thing I grabbed an extra coat on my way out. _

 

“Hey,” Laura says so as to not startle her.

Carmilla stares up at her.  “Wow, the hallucinations from hypothermia started quick this time.”

Laura chuckles and throws a heavy, warm coat on top of her.  “You’re an idiot.”

She sits down next to Carmilla, wrapped in a warm coat of her own as she holds out a slice of cake, fresh enough that steam is rising from it.  Laura also hands her a pair of gloves and a fork.

“Saved you some.  Idiot.”

Carmilla chuckles and takes the gloves and then the fork before sheepishly taking the cake.  “Uhm. Thanks.”

 

“Anything else you’d like to say?” Laura says pointedly.

Carmilla averts her gaze and pokes at the cake.

“Let’s go to my toasty car,” Laura huffs, holding out a hand for Carmilla to take.

Carmilla stares at it in surprise but takes it and follows Laura to the car.  By the time she slides into the passenger’s seat, she’s finished about half the cake.

 

Laura had been working on her theory from the moment she heard LaF’s question.

“Okay.  I’m gonna guess what happened.  Back in October, we kissed. And maybe, you really liked me.  Maybe more than you realized. So you were nervous. And the anxiety made you time-displaced.  Into the future,” Laura tries, turning up the heat more when she sees Carmilla’s hands are still shaking.  “And whatever time you went to, it was in the future, and we’re still together. And it scared the hell out of you.  Because you’ve always treated your entire life as if it were filled with temporary, fleeting things, except for Mattie. And meeting me is messing with the way you’ve lived your whole life.”

Carmilla remains silent.

“So then you started to panic and that completely threw you off on your return, and you come back to find you’ve missed three months.  And landed right as my birthday celebration started,” Laura continues patiently. “And now you’re surrounded by my friends and family who know all about you, but I’m just some girl you’ve kissed once and aren’t even sure you like.  And you get scared and feel like you’re suffocating. Like you’re drowning in time. So you lash out and run away. And stupidly almost freeze to death.” She raises an eyebrow. “That about right?”

 

Carmilla takes a deep breath and plays with the fork between her fingers, having finished the cake.  “Mostly.” She lets out a long sigh. “I  _ do _ like you.  A lot. No maybes.”  She runs her free hand through her hair.  “And our first kiss was amazing. Y’know,  _ so _ amazing that it displaced me in time.  Technically twice.”

She chuckles and Laura gives her a smug grin.

“It’s just...”  Carmilla scoffs and sadly shakes her head.  “I’m just a ghost, Laura.”

Laura cocks her head to the side, confused.

 

Carmilla fidgets a bit.  “I’ve spent my whole life knowing everything I have is temporary.  Every friendship and relationship had an expiration date because eventually they’d get fed up with my flakiness and unpredictability.  Even family. Except for Mattie, and she doesn’t count for obvious reasons.”

She sighs.

“And then you come along.  You already know me. You’re already used to me disappearing and waiting for me.  And… you  _ get _ me.  More than  _ I _ get me.  Hell, you already figured out that I traveled to the future and saw us together and realized you’re  _ not _ temporary.  For the first time, I have someone who’s not going anywhere.  Who’s not just  _ waiting for me _ , but who’s by my side, tackling life with me, making jokes and… And I panicked,” she says, swallowing hard.

Laura feels her heart breaking at seeing Carmilla so terrified and so vulnerable next to her.

“And I got back here to find out I’d left the girl I had an amazing first kiss with hanging for three months.  But she wasn’t upset and just invited me to this adorable birthday party with her friends and family, who also weren’t upset I flaked out on you for months.”

Her voice cracks and she sniffles.

“And I’m terrified coz I don’t want the girl I like to wake up one day and realize she’s wasted her whole life waiting for a ghost.”

 

Laura looks at Carmilla for a long time, watching as tears stream down her face.

She finally reaches out and wipes away a tear.

“Hmm, would you look at that,” Laura says softly.  “I  _ can _ touch you.  Guess you’re not a ghost, after all.  Or, if you are, you’re a real crappy one.”

 

Carmilla lets out a sobbed laugh.  “Dork.”

Laura giggles and reaches into the glove compartment to hand Carmilla a box of tissues.

“Carm, you’re right.  I’ve spent a lot of my life waiting for you to pop up again in my life.  And, for most of that time, I’ve dreamed of our lives running parallel. But you know how much of that time was spent feeling like I was wasting it?”

Laura offers Carmilla a warm smile.

“None of it.  None of my life has ever felt wasted because the time I got to spend with you has always felt more fulfilling than the moments without you.  If you’re scared, tha-that’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared. You’re allowed to not feel how I feel. You’re allowed to never feel how I feel,” she continues gently.  “But you’re not allowed to run off into the cold and freeze to death on the park bench we sat on during our first date.”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  She hadn’t even realized that’s where she wound up.

“Look, I know the universe just threw a lot at you at once,” Laura says slowly.  “So why don’t we just take this one step at a time? Whatever you saw in the future, that’s in the  _ future _ .  We’re not there yet.  That’s okay. We can just be two gals who shared their first kiss.”

Carmilla nods, a small smile forming.  “You sure you don’t want more from me right now?”

Laura gives a small laugh.  “I promise. We’ll take this whatever pace you want to.”

Carmilla reaches out and takes Laura’s hand.  “Thank you,” she whispers like a prayer. “It’s kinda weird to have something in my life that doesn’t feel like it’ll evaporate any second.”

Laura grins at her.

 

“Can we kiss again?” Carmilla asks shyly.

“Depends.  Are you gonna disappear on me for another three months?” Laura asks with a smirk.

Carmilla pouts at her.

Laura laughs louder.  “Yes, silly.”

Carmilla leans forward and Laura meets her in the middle, capturing her lips and giggling when Carmilla deepens it before pulling away.

“I’m, uh, really happy we had this talk,” Carmilla she admits sheepishly.  “I was really freaked out.”

“You’re also possibly still drunk from three months ago,” Laura teases.  “Man, whatever you saw must’ve really done a number on you.”

 

Carmilla chuckles.  “Actually, it’s kinda funny. Future You totally said all the wrong things.  The complete opposite of you now.”

Laura looks at her skeptically before something occurs to her.  “Carm… Did it occur to you maybe Future Me…”

Carmilla physically recoils at the realization. “…Freaked me out on purpose so we’d have this conversation?”

Laura presses her lips together in a thin line and gives her an innocent, wide-eyed look.

“You sneaky little cupcake,” Carmilla says with a laugh.

“Yeah, but I’m your sneaky little cupcake,” Laura says, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	16. The Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie and Laura meet, and Carmilla watches as the two important people in her life try to interact peacefully.

**February 2013**

 

In the weeks that followed, Carmilla grew more and more comfortable around Laura, even asking about certain events she’d noted in her travels to Laura’s past.  Laura insisted these were spoilers for Carmilla, which led to some entertaining grumpiness.

Surmising it was finally safe, Laura asked Carmilla if she could reserve a table in the library to study, and Carmilla eagerly accepted.  So Laura decided to push her luck a bit further and decided she’d ask Carmilla if she wanted to go with her to watch Kirsch’s band perform at a local bar.

 

Laura bounced into the library to find Carmilla talking with a coworker while scanning a patron’s books.

“Hey!” Laura greets as the previous patron steps off the line.

Carmilla seems upset about something, but her pout completely vanishes as soon as she sees Laura and a warm smile grows.  “Hey.”

“So I know we said we’d do a quiet evening, but Kirsch told me his band is performing at this bar tonight,” Laura begins.  “And it’s totally okay if you don’t wanna go--”

“We can go,” Carmilla replies.

The coworker stares at her.  “Who are you and what have you done with Carmilla Karnstein?”

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a glare.  “What? I can go out and do things.”

“Since  _ when _ ?” the coworker cackles.  “You’re always all, ‘ _ what if I vanish in public?  What if YOU vanish in public?  What will I do if I vanish and come back naked days later?  What if we BOTH vanish at the same time? _ ’” she mocks.

Realizing this must be Mattie, Laura frowns.  “But I thought you had that locket thingy that keeps you from time-displacing.”

 

Mattie looks at her, bewildered.  “How the hell do you know that?”

Laura giggles nervously.  “Uhm… Carm told me. Well, Future Carm.”

Mattie lightly smacks Carmilla on the arm.

“Ow!  She just  _ said _ I haven’t done it yet,” Carmilla growls.

“Exactly.  Now whenever the time comes that you decide to, you’ll remember me hitting you,” Mattie snaps.

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes before turning her attention back to Laura.  “So where is this bar?”

“It’s right by campus, but it’s a little too pricey for students in general.  It’s called the Silas Sirens.”

“Isn’t that the bar you go to all the time?” Carmilla asks Mattie.

Mattie crosses her arms.  “Maybe.”

“That’s awesome!  All three of us can go tonight together?”

Mattie leans forward and glares Laura down.  “Let’s be clear. I was gonna be there tonight no matter what.  If you and Carm happen to also be there, it doesn’t mean we’ll be there together.”

Laura seems confused but shrugs it off.  “Ooookayyy. I’ll take that as a ‘yes!’”

Carmilla snorts.  “See you tonight after our shift, cupcake.  Have a nice time in class.”

Laura gives a cheery wave and darts off to her table, an extra pep in her step.

 

* * *

 

“WHoOOOo!  Go Kirsch!” Laura yells after the band finishes up another song. She takes a sip of her fruity cocktail, while Carmilla takes one of her whisky.  Mattie doesn’t bother to hide her disdain as she takes a large gulp of wine.

“ _ We’ll be right back after a short break _ ,” Kirsch says into the mic.

He high-fives Laura as he stops by the bar, chugging down a cup of water she was watching after for him.

“You’re doing great,” she says to him.

He grins at her.  “Thanks again for coming, Laura.  You’re the best girl a guy could ever ask to dude-scort.”

Laura laughs at that and clinks her glass against his.  “Cheers to us!”

 

Mattie rolls her eyes and signals for a refill before just handing the bartender enough money for the entire bottle.

“You should probably get going back up there before I get so bored I beat you up again,” Carmilla deadpans.

“She’s joking,” Laura says with a playful glare.

Kirsch gulps. “Can’t take that chance!”  He runs back up on stage and the band begins another song.

 

“Stop being so mean,” Laura chides lightly.

“Don’t tell her what to do,” Mattie snaps.

Carmilla frowns.  “Mattie, sh--”

“And don’t make excuses for her,” Mattie growls.  “We are gods with these powers and are above being nice to a neanderthal.”

Laura’s mouth drops open in offense.  “Kirsch is  _ not _ a--”

“You’re right.  He and the rest of you confined by the limits of time are lower than that,” Mattie interrupts.

 

Carmilla stands up from her bar stool.  “Mattie, that is  _ enough _ .”

Mattie blinks in surprise.  “What is so special about her?” she scoffs, looking a mix of aggravated and vaguely  impressed. “All I’ve seen so far is some irritating peanut who tells you what to do.”  She locks eyes with Laura. “All I see is a young child who’s enamored with a time traveler she’s apparently known her whole life. Someone who couldn’t possibly understand how the world actually works.  A girl who couldn’t understand how  _ our existence _ works.”

Carmilla sighs and speaks before Laura can argue.  “Yes, I know. And, yes, she’s … young, and, and naive, a-an-and entirely too trusting, but … Mattie, she knows me!  She knows my sad tale and the things I’ve done, and… and she hasn’t flinched away. It’s like … she can change the horrible story I live in.”  She looks down at the floor before chancing a glance at Laura. “And I know it-it’s foolish. I know, I know, I know it’s foolish. And I know it’s sentimental, but...”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t need someone to change your story, darling?” Mattie asks.  “This is someone who has their whole life ahead of them. Have you asked yourself what happens when one day she realizes she’s spent so much of her life waiting for you already?  And when she decides that she’s just stuck in one place, while you have the freedom to move about her? To leave her behind?”

 

“Carm wouldn’t leave me behind,” Laura finally says.

Mattie laughs ruefully.  “Child, didn’t she just leave you for three months?  And didn’t she leave you for years at a time before she even met you?”

“She always came back to me,” Laura points out.  “She’ll always come back to me. I don’t care if you both think it’s naive and young and trusting for me to believe that.”

Mattie lets out an exasperated sigh.

“And I will always wait for her, no matter what. Because even time travelers need a home to return to.  Or then they’re just lost and drifting.” Mattie tries to reply, but Laura talks over her. “Besides, if it’s so freeing having chrono-impairment… then why do you wear that locket to keep you from traveling?  If you’re so much better than me, then why don’t I just rip it off your neck and shatter it?”

Mattie shuts up and swallows hard.

“You’re jealous because this whole time, Carm has needed you.  As a mentor, as a sister, as a friend. And now she has someone else and you’re terrified that she, what?  Has found someone she’d find worthy to want to come back home to instead of using a friggin’ locket to keep her grounded?” Laura demands, looking away from Mattie and over to Carmilla.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Carmilla gives her a small smile, tears forming in her eyes.

Mattie stares at Laura for a long time.  The band’s song echoes in the space between them, having been pushed to background noise during this entire discussion.  It feels like this is the first time Mattie has really seen Laura all day and night.

“Fine!  Jeez. Didn’t have to get so dramatic about it,” Mattie finally says, pouring more wine into her glass.  “We’re lucky everyone around here started drinking way before we did and is hopefully too wasted to hear anything to you said, Blabbermouth.”

Laura and Carmilla share an amused look.

 

The band finishes their set for the night and Kirsch comes running over, clearly high from the performance.  “Laura! Laura! I want you to come meet the dudes!”

Laura laughs as he barely waits for an answer before turning and running back to his bandmates.  “I’ll be right back,” she says, giving Carmilla a peck on the cheek.

Carmilla tugs her back and manages to catch her lips for a kiss.  “Don’t keep me waiting too long, now.”

“I dunno.  Kinda nice to have you waiting on me for once,” Laura teases, giving her another kiss.  She grins and grabs her drink before heading off after Kirsch.

 

He begins introducing her to the guys, declaring very proudly that she’s tougher than all of them combined.

“Ah, I’m not as tough as you guys.  I could never stand up here and perform,” Laura insists.

Kirsch shrugs.  “Maybe you just need the right muse.  I never thought I’d play in front of people until I met SJ.”

Laura swallows hard and looks into the audience at Carmilla talking with Mattie.

Kirsch follows her gaze and grins.  “I think you’re plenty brave enough,” he says pointedly.

“You really think so?” Laura asks.

“Definitely.”

 

It takes a few minutes of coordinating, but finally Laura steps up to the mic.

“Helloooooo Silas Sirens!  The Zeta Bros Band has agreed to come back for an encore!  In a duet with me, Lauuuuura Hollis! Dedicating a song to one Carmilla Karnstein!”

A musical intro starts, a bit of a dark jingle.

“We could live forever, and suffer,” Laura sings into the mic, her voice low.

Carmilla finds herself blushing as Laura makes direct eye contact with her.

“Or die as one, together as lovers...”

 

As Carmilla and Mattie whisper to each other, Carmilla’s eyes remain locked with Laura’s, and Laura knows it  _ is _ true.

Carmilla’s always made Laura feel brave enough to know they could take on the world-- together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	17. The Pandora’s Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla returns to the present in her birthday to find a surprise. Laura’s friends reveal a secret to Carmilla.

**April 2013**

 

For the past few weeks, Laura had been planning out Carmilla’s surprise birthday party.  The hardest part was getting Mattie to agree to come, but Laura knew it’d mean a lot to Carmilla to have her there.  And Mattie knew it, too.

Once Mattie grudgingly agreed, everything else was set to go off without a hitch.

That is, until Laura woke up the morning of Carmilla’s birthday to find just a pile of clothes beside her.

 

By then, everyone was already on their way with decorations, presents, and food.

Laura figured there was no harm in setting everything up and, if Carmilla didn’t travel back by the end of the day, she could just awkwardly send everyone home.

Instead, a little after noon, Carmilla reappears right in the middle of the party.

 

“Oh, crap,” Laura exclaims.

“Uhm.  Wow. Really knows how to make an entrance,” Danny comments.

Carmilla’s still clearly trying to focus and readjust for a few moments.

 

“Happy birthday?” Laura says weakly, running over and throwing a robe around Carmilla.

“Talk about a birthday suit,” LaFontaine comments, earning a laugh from Kirsch and a disapproving look with a failed concealed chuckle from Perry.

Carmilla ties the robe’s strings together and glances around, eyes wide.

 

“I’m sorry if you’re mad,” Laura apologizes in a whisper.

She gently pulls Carmilla onto the balcony, away from the others.

“I planned this party out weeks ago and it wasn’t until I woke up this morning next to a pile of clothes that I realized you’d traveled and by then everyone was already on their way… And I felt rude sending everyone home, so we started decorating...”

Carmilla shakes her head with a chuckle.  “I’m not mad. I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

Laura grins.  “You’re not mad?”

Carmilla crosses her chest, a sign of a promise she’d started doing after noticing Laura has a habit of saying, “cross your heart and hope to die.”

“No, I’m not mad.  Surprised, definitely.  But I bet your friends never thought they’d see so much of me.”  Carmilla takes Laura by the hands and tugs her a bit closer. “How’d you get Mattie to show up?”

“I promise her there’d be wine.  She brought her own bottle anyway...”

Carmilla laughs.

Laura leans in for a kiss on the lips.  “Let’s get you changed? We can kick everyone out whenever you want.”

“How about right now?” Carmilla asks with a smirk.

“You’re the birthday girl,” Laura replies simply.

 

Carmilla squints into Laura’s apartment.  LaFontaine is currently animatedly saying something to Perry that’s being met with a disgusted look while she’s rearranging decorations and not-so-subtly cleaning around everyone.  Danny and Kirsch are playing some kind of drinking game with the red solo cups, while Mattie watches on disapprovingly.

“I guess they can stay for a little bit,” Carmilla says, booping Laura on the nose.  “Otherwise you’d probably eat the whole cake yourself and I don’t want to deal with that sugar high.”

“I’d save you a slice,” Laura insists sweetly.

Carmilla grins.  “And who says chivalry is dead?”

They head back inside and soon enough, Carmilla is settling in beside Laura in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans.

 

“So everyone here knows about your time traveling?” Mattie asks, already halfway through a bottle of wine.

“If they didn’t before…” Carmilla replies, making Laura laugh.  “Aren’t you gonna ask when I was?” she asks Laura.

Laura hands her a plate of chips and cookies and cradles two cups of soda in her lap with her hands.  “When did you travel to?”

“May 1997,” Carmilla answers, slowly looking at Laura.

After a couple seconds, Laura’s mouth drops open and her eyes light up.  “Oh my gosh!”

 

“What was May 1997?” Danny asks, chewing loudly on some chips.

“The first time Carm traveled back to see me,” Laura says.

Perry frowns.  “I thought you said Carm’s only traveled back to meet you this past fall.”

“I mean, it’s the first time  _ I _ ever met Carm,” Laura clarifies.  “It was right after Danny’s birthday party.”

“Oh!  The one where you were being a baby and stormed off?” Danny teases.

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Okay, yeah. What gives? First, this red twerp bullies you til you leave her birthday party.  Then, she makes fun of your dead mother. How the hell are you two still friends over fifteen years later?”

Danny and Laura share an amused look.

“Spoilers,” Laura says coyly.

Carmilla glares at Danny and Danny snickers.

“Carm, I promise.  There is a lot of history between me and Danny, but we’re good now.  We’re friends.” Laura pats Carmilla’s leg reassuringly.

Carmilla lets out a long sigh.  “Whatever. She’s getting the smallest slice of cake.”

Kirsch cackles and Danny shoots him a dirty look.

“Guess I’ll just take yours,” she teases dryly.

“Man, what is with girls taking my stuff?” Kirsch asks sadly.

 

Laura smiles at him.  “Don’t worry, Dudescort.  I’ll protect you and your cake.”

“You DO take the oath we made seriously!“ Kirsch exclaims happily.

“Well, you did take the time out to write original ones,” Laura points out.

Carmilla scoffs.  “You literally swore an oath to protect his cake?”

Laura nods with a giggle.  “And his Pilsner. And his sandwiches.  And his schnizel.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and watches as Mattie grabs an entire full bottle of wine and her glass and steps out onto the balcony.

 

Carmilla clears her throat.  “I’m gonna...”

“Yeah, go chat with her,” Laura says gently.

Carmilla gives her a peck on the cheek before leaving.  “Thanks.”

 

“This is going well,” Danny says once Carmilla is out of earshot.

“Yeah,” Laura says, eating a cookie.  “I was afraid she’d freak out about all this.”

Perry smiles warmly.  “It seems like you’re really having great break-throughs with her, Laura.  Helping lower her walls.”

Laura feels a warmth in her chest at that.  “I sure hope so. I mean, it’s great getting to know Carm all over again, but I do miss the… familarity.”

“If anyone can make Carmilla nicer, it’s you,” Kirsch offers.

Laura laughs at that.  “Thanks. Although I do wonder what Mattie and her are talking about.”

 

“Maybe you should butter her up,” LaFontaine suggests.  “Get her more wine.”

Laura rolls her eyes in amusement.  “Couldn’t hurt. Well, only hurts my wallet.”

“I’ll come with you!” Kirsch volunteers, trailing after her as she grabs her jacket.  “Once a dude-scort, always a dude-scort!”

“You just want some beer,” Laura guesses with a laugh.

Kirsch frowns.  “Nuh uh.”

* * *

  
  


“We’re back!” Kirsch yells, holding a keg of beer.

Laura walks in with a case in her arms, carefully balancing two bottles in boxes on top.   “Where’s Carm?” she asked, putting everything down.

“Taking a shower,” Mattie replies.

Danny helps put away the beers in the fridge.  “Heads up, LaFontaine blabbed about your box.”

Laura’s eyes widen.  “ _ WHAT _ ?”

“She was asking how you’d know when she’d pop up in the past!” LaF explains.

“You didn’t have to  _ tell _ her,” Laura growls.  “Just tell her it would’ve been spoilers!”

LaF crosses their arms. “Did it ever occur to you that the reason she knows to go to you in the past with dates in mind is because in the future you show her this box?”

“They have a point,” Danny comments.

“Like temporal causation,” LaF continues.  “An inevitable cycle-- like a snake eating its own tail.”

Laura stands there for a moment.

 

“I heard Laura yelling,” Carmilla says with concern from the doorway, fully clothed and drying her hair with a towel.  “What’s wrong?”

Laura looks back and forth between LaFontaine and Carmilla.  Finally, she sighs. “Time to open Pandora’s box.”

She walks to her bedroom and walks back out with a cardboard box, putting it on the floor in the middle of the living room.

Everyone gathers around her as she pops it open, revealing a photo album on top of a small pile of DVDs and flashdrives.

“Holy shit,” Carmilla comments.

 

Laura shyly opens the photo album and hands it to Carmilla.

“That’s… wow,” Carmilla remarks, slightly bewildered.

There’s a sound from the television and Laura looks up in horror.  There’s a discarded empty DVD box labeled “Carmilla, Vol. I.”

 

“ _ Ugh, do we have to? _ ” Future Carmilla’s voice says over a black screen.

“ _ It’s for posterity! _ ” a young Laura insists.

Future Carmilla sighs.  “ _ Posterity can bite me. _ ”

There’s a small  _ thud _ and then the camera spins to show a slightly off-centered older Carmilla and younger Laura.

“ _ Hi, gentle viewers. I’m Laura Hollis.  I’m nine years old. _ ”

She lightly elbows a sighing Future Carmilla.  She has a sticker on her forehead. Laura has one on her cheek.

“ _ I’m Carmilla Karnstein.  I’m twenty seven. _ ”

“ _ The year is 2000, _ ” past Laura states, very serious.

Danny lets out a snort, holding the remote.  “Oh, man. Little Laura.”

“ _ We’re filming this for Future Laura and Past Carmilla. _ ”  She waves.  Future Carmilla continues to glare into the camera.  “ _ Wave! _ ” she demands, elbowing Future Carmilla again.

Future Carmilla scowls down at Past Laura.  “ _ You’re lucky you’re cute, _ ” she grumbles before she plasters on a fake smile and waves over-enthusiastically.

“ _ Hollstein, out, _ ” Past Laura says.  She fumbles with the camera and the video cuts out.

 

It starts to go to the next video, but Laura pauses it, having grabbed the remote from an amused Danny.  She slowly looks over at Carmilla.

“Are you freaked out?” she asks softly.  “Oh god, you’re probably freaked out and I’m sorry this freaked you out.  It’s just, all the pictures and the video and now you’re trying to figure out how to run out of here a-and I’m in front of the front door, so--”

Laura awkward steps away from the front door.  Carmilla walks towards her.

“--So, you can run out of here if you want--”

Carmilla chuckles, stepping closer to Laura.  “Don’t be ridiculous. I think it’s amazing you did this,” she says gently.  She leans in and captures Laura’s lips in a kiss.

 

“You’re not freaked out?” Laura mumbles against her lips.

Carmilla laughs and kisses her again.  “No,” she says pulling away. “Although, I do think it would be heavy ‘spoilers’ territory for me to watch these videos before experiencing them.  Plus it’d make those interactions less organic. How about after each time I travel back to see you, we watch the video for that visit when I come back?”

Laura grins.  “Sap.”

“I second that,” Mattie grumbles, still in the corner of the room.

 

Laura rolls her eyes and walks over with two boxes - one with wine, and one with a bottle of champagne.  “Here’s your wine and your ludicrously expensive bottle of champagne.”

Mattie only takes the wine.  “The champagne is for the two of you to share.”  She seems to realize she’s being too nice to Laura.  “Or just for Carm,” she quickly amends lamely.

Carmilla and Laura share an amused look.

“Sap,” they say together.

Mattie growls and pours another full glass of wine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	18. The Story Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura scores an interview with a CEO for a story she's investigating, while Carmilla struggles to grasp the permanence of their relationship.

**January 2015**

 

During most of 2012 and 2013, Carmilla was still vanishing so often and reappearing in Laura’s apartment, that soon enough most of Carmilla’s wardrobe and her toothbrush had been moved for the sake of convenience.

Laura graduated during this time and she spent the time that Carmilla was gone at various small internships, getting more experience under her belt.

 

By 2014, the traveling had slowed down, but they had decided to just get a new place together, especially when Laura got a job.  And them living together took some anxiety off Carmilla about paying rent when she did travel.

Which, to their immense happiness, hadn’t happened for quite a while.

 

“Good morning,” Laura says around a yawn as she walks off to the bathroom and begins brushing her teeth.

“Not good morning,” Carmilla grumbles from the blankets.  “Very, very bad morning.”

She hears Laura laugh through her applied toothpaste.  “When did you travel off to last night, grumpy pants?”

“February 1998.  Our first Buffy viewing together.”

Laura spits out the toothpaste and pops her head through the door with a playful glare. “I’ll still never forgive you for that spoiler.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Yeah, sorry again about that.”

Laura goes back into the bathroom and returns a few minutes later.

 

“Too bad I didn’t disappear for a few more days,” Carmilla pouts.

“Why?” Laura asks with a frown.

Carmilla’s pout grows.  “Coz then we would’ve been spending a weekend together, instead of me watching you leave for work.”

“But then I would’ve had to spend those few days alone,” Laura points out.  She gives Carmilla a minty peck on the lips. “Also, Mattie couldn’t find anyone to cover your afternoon shift while she’s in Morocco. So  _ one _ of us still has work today.”

“So if I didn’t come back in time…?”

Laura starts changing into her work clothes.  “Yeah, I would’ve gone in and covered for you.  My interview for the article should be over by then.”

Carmilla stares at her with a soft look.  “You’re amazing, you know that?”

 

Carmilla had been giving Laura some looks with unspoken words lately, but Laura didn’t want to push.  While she had definitely gotten more comfortable with freely expressing herself the past couple years, she was far from the confident time traveler Laura had known in her teenage years.  Whenever Carmilla would be ready to say whatever was on her mind, she would.

So instead, they both let a look between them linger.

 

“Well, there are cupcakes I baked last night in the kitchen.  I have to get going,” Laura eventually says, “This woman is supposedly very impatient.”

“Who even is she?” Carmilla asks around a yawn.

Laura is putting on her makeup across the room.  “I’m not even sure. The original source LaF put me in touch with was some manager at a smaller branch.  But word got out and I guess the CEO wants to do damage control, so she reached out to me and said that she would like to do the interview instead of letting her inferior do it.”

“Sounds like a wonderful lady,” Carmilla comments dryly.

Laura chuckles and gives Carmilla one more kiss on the lips.  “And I’ll tell you all about her wonderfulness later when I meet you at the library.”

 

Carmilla huffs as Laura leaves the room and she hears the front door lock.

Whoever that woman was, she hated her already for getting more time with Laura today than she would.

* * *

  
  


“So, what you’re saying is, you’re the one who signs off on the waste removal practices from your laboratories?” Laura asks, a phone on the desk between her and her interviewee.

“I’m saying I delegate.  I have experts who run tests and perform surveys and generate reports, who are checked by other experts.  And they advise whether or not I should sign,” she answers tactfully.

Laura clenches her jaw.  “Then I’d like to speak to these experts.”

“I’ll see who’s available,” she replies vaguely.

Laura stares her right in the eyes, unwilling to back down.  It had been a couple hours of these sort of answers, and she had reached her breaking point.

 

“Look.  You kept me waiting a few hours today,” Laura states.  “So stop wasting my time. I’m not here to get you arrested or take away your precious waste dumping sites. I’m not here to get your or any of your employees fired.”  She takes a deep breath. “I’m here to go deeper than that. I’m trying to determine if the practices used to determine how safe it is to dump biological waste at these sites need to be looked over.”  Laura leans in, unwavering. “So stop covering your ass with these bureaucratic BS answers and tell me what the exact protocols and procedures are. Or I  _ will _ write an article framing you as a villain to put pressure on you for the same exact answers.”

 

The woman blinks at Laura, clearly impressed. The moment passes through her face quickly, as she leans back in her chair with a chuckle.  “Fine, fine, Miss Hollis. I’m actually having dinner with the legal department head tonight to discuss how this chat went. How about you come along with me and maybe you’ll get your answers.”

 

Laura perks up.  “Yeah, that sounds great!”

“Okay.  If you’re not concerned with me ‘wasting more of your time,’ you could wait here and I’ll give you a lift in a couple hours.”

“I actually had plans tonight--” Laura pauses.  “--which I can cancel. I just need to give my girlfriend a heads up first and she can’t check her phone at work coz she works at the library near Silas University.  I’d need to tell her in person and then I can meet you at the restaurant.”

“That’s actually on the way.  I can come over and give you a ride from there,” the woman answers.

“Oh.  Okay, then see you then,” Laura replies, collecting her things.

As she opens the office door, the woman speaks again.  “Miss Hollis.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever talk to me like that again.”

 

Laura doesn’t reply and leaves the office, making her way to her car in the parking lot.

She hits a lot of traffic during the earlier rush hour and, by the time she finally gets to the library, it’s already almost the end of Carmilla’s shift and the library is empty.

“Hey, babe.  How did it go?” Carmilla asks, carting some books around.

“Had to put my foot down and tell her to stop jerking me around,” Laura grumbles.  “She finally agreed to let me meet with the head of her legal department to ask more questions.”

Carmilla grins and pulls Laura in by the waist of her skirt.  “That’s amazing,” she says, before giving her a sweet kiss.

Laura deepens it before pulling away.  “It’s also tonight.”

“I  _ really _ don’t like this woman,” Carmilla grumbles, making Laura laugh.

“Yeah, she’s kinda cold and demanding,” Laura admits.  “But if she helps me get this story going, then I’ll take it.”

Carmilla sighs.  “I guess. What’s her name, anyway?”

“Lilita Morgan,” Laura replies.

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen and she lets go of Laura, all color draining from her face.

Laura frowns and barely has time to react when Carmilla’s knees give out.  She manages to hold Carmilla up. “Carm! Carm, are you okay?”

Carmilla’s breathing is shaky and her eyes are unfocused.

“Whoa, whoa,” Laura says urgently.  She cups Carmilla’s face in her hands, trying to get their eyes to meet.  “Look at me, look at me. Focus on my voice.”

Carmilla’s unfocused eyes slowly land on Laura’s and she manages to slow her erratic breathing.

“Breathe, breathe,” Laura says gently, holding onto Carmilla’s shoulders, unsure of what is causing this panic attack.  “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

 

Carmiilla swallows hard, stammering.  “N… N-No, it’s- it’s--”

The front door of the library swings open and they both turn to face their guest.

“Come on now, Miss Hollis.  My driver is parked at a hydrant--”

Her eyes widen as she looks at who Laura is standing with.  “Good lord,” she says, a slight waver in her voice.

Laura furrows her eyebrows together in confusion.  “You two know each other?”

Carmilla looks like she’s about to faint.

“Mother.”

 

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Wait.  _ Wait _ .  Lilita Morgan is your  _ mom _ ?”

Carmilla doesn’t trust her words and simply nods frantically, looking at only Laura.

“My, my.  You’re dating my daughter,” Lilita says evenly.  “What a small world.”

Laura stares at Carmilla, trying to lend her strength, or at the very least keep her from vomiting.

“And here I was, starting to develop some respect for you,” she says to Laura.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Laura demands.

Lilita scoffs.  “I don’t know how you’ve been seeing each other, but give it more than a couple weeks and you’ll see.  She’s unworthy of being in anyone’s life.”

 

Laura lets Carmilla go looking Lilita right in the eyes.  “We’ve been seeing each other for over two years,” she growls.

Lilita seems taken aback by that, and regards Laura carefully.  “Two years? Then surely by now, you know...”

“That she’s a time traveler?” Laura finishes, making sure there are no patrons around them.  “Yes. And that has absolutely no bearing on her worth. If anything, her resilience through it makes her even more admirable.”

“Foolish girl,” Lilita spits out.  “She’s a monster.”

Laura narrows her eyes.  “The only monster I’m seeing here is you.”

“I am not the one who let my father die in a car crash,” Lilita states coldly.

 

The air feels like it’s been sucked out of the room.

The three remain in silence as a clock in the patron area ticks away the time, each second feeling more and more empty than the last.

Laura slowly glances over at Carmilla.

 

“Th… That’s why you’ve always been so awful to me?” Carmilla finally asks, her voice small.

 

Lilita laughs ruefully.  “Your father was a good, kind, calm man.  He rarely traveled, and it only started happening after he hit puberty.  But you? You were a wild, emotional child, who traveled for the first time at five years old.  And all I know is, one night you and the man I loved went out, and only one of you came back.”

Laura gapes at her, appalled.  “‘Only one of you came back?’ You should be grateful either of them came back at all!”

“The  _ wrong _ one came back!” Lilita roars, her composure completely gone.  “I didn’t ask to have to raise a child with this  _ curse _ \-- and  _ alone _ !”

“Get out,” Laura says, unable to stand the sight of this woman any longer.

Lilita opens her mouth, but Laura cuts her off.

“GET OUT!” Laura yells.

 

“What about your  _ story _ ?” Lilita mocks.

“Screw my story,” Laura snaps.  “And screw you. Carm is ten times the woman you’ll ever be, and she deserved a hell of a lot more than you.”  She clenches her hands into fits. “So get the hell out before I throw your ass out myself.”

Lilita scoffs and stares them both down with disgust.  “It’d be my pleasure.” She turns and leaves without another word.

 

Laura waits for the door to close before she spins and looks at Carmilla, worry in her widened eyes.

“Carm, Carm, I am  _ so _ sorry. Cross my heart-- I didn’t know.  If I had any idea that she was your mom, I never would’ve--”

“I love you,” Carmilla burts out.

Laura stops talking and her breath hitches in her throat.  “I-- What?”

“I love you,” Carmilla repeats, her eyes welling up with tears as she dives forward, burying her face in Laura’s chest.  “I love you, I love you. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I haven’t said it before.” She’s sobbing now, holding Laura closer to her tighter and tighter.  “You’re my home and you make me feel real and safe and I love you.”

Laura kisses the top of Carmilla’s head and rubs soothing circles on her back.  “I love you, too, Carm. And I promise I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always have someone who loves you to come home to.”

And she feels Carmilla continue to cry, but nod.

 

She’d always make sure Carmilla felt safe and loved.  No matter what.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	19. The Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone from Carmilla's past interrupts a date and tries to give Laura a new perspective.

**December 2016**

  
  


Laura let that story with Lilita go and LaFontaine and Perry managed to find another CEO that  _ wasn’t _ related to Carmilla to be Laura’s source.  She managed to get some talks started about policy changes and, by the end of 2016, Laura started to really make a name for herself as a freelance journalist.

Now that work wasn’t demanding and Carmilla was traveling less, they could really enjoy the holidays.

_ Well.  One of us, anyway _ , Laura muses.

 

“I know you’re a grinch,‘ Laura says as she takes Carmilla’s gloved hand in hers, “but you’re telling me even from an aesthetic standpoint you don’t find this winter village pretty?”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “We could enjoy the exact same aesthetic in our warm, cozy apartment, especially after you made me hang up fairy lights last week.”

“We hung them up together-- while we ate the cupcakes I bought, by the way-- you martyr.”  Laura gives her an endearing look. “Maybe you get grumpy in the cold coz you insist on only wearing a leather jacket.”

“No, I get grumpy in the cold because it’s cold,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura laughs and stops, letting go of Carmilla’s hand, which makes her pout.  She takes her scarf off and wraps it around Carmilla’s neck. “Better?”

 

“No, coz now you’re cold,” Carmilla replies, her pout growing.

“Better keep me warm, then,” Laura says with a smirk.  “I mean, what if I get hypothermia?”

Carmilla gives an overdramatic gasp.  “Then who would buy the cupcakes?”

Laura kisses Carmilla’s protruding lower lip.  “Other people can buy cupcakes, y’know.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” Carmilla whines.  “I want you.”

“Then it’s me you shall get,” Laura says softly, giving her a proper kiss.  “And for braving the perils of holiday decorations, you’ll also get some nice hot apple cider.”

 

They wait in line and get two cups, and manage to locate a small empty table nearby to wait until the cider is at a drinkable temperature.

“Carmilla?” a voice asks from nearby.

Carmilla pauses, then her eyes widen and she stiffens.

“Carmilla?” the woman repeats, sounding out each syllable in a British accent.  “Good lord, it  _ is _ you.  It’s been… almost a decade.”

Carmilla turns to face the source of the voice, gritting her teeth.  “Hello, Elle.”

 

Laura looks confusedly back and forth between them.

“And who is this?” Elle asks.

“This is Laura,” Carmilla replies tensely.  “She’s my girlfriend.”

Laura sticks out her hand, and Elle takes it. “Haven’t been dating long, I guess.”

“We’ve been together almost four years,” Laura replies, glancing at Carmilla for some kind of queue as to what she can and can’t say.

“She knows about my traveling,” Carmilla says bluntly, taking both Laura and Elle aback.  She addresses Laura. “Elle was my longest relationship before you. In high school.”

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Wait a minute! Oh, you told me about her once.”

Carmilla frowns.  “What? No, I haven’t.”

“Oh, oops.  I guess, I mean, you  _ will _ tell me about her?  Accidental spoilers?” Laura laughs nervously.

Elle scoffs, perplexed.  “You mean, you’ve met each other out of order?”

 

Laura looks at Carmilla, who gives a small, reluctant nod.

She lowers her voice, realizing they’re in public.  “I’ve known Carm most of my life. Met her when I was six years old.  She met me when she was twenty-two, but by then her future self had traveled back to see me like, a dozen times.”

Elle’s mouth drops open.  “I thought the only person you’d ever traveled back to see is yourself.”

Carmilla shrugs.  “We’ve been just as confused by this as you are.”

 

“So you haven’t learned to control your freakiness,” Elle comments.

“Carm isn’t a freak,” Laura replies immediately.  “Just coz you don’t understand her doesn’t make her some kind of monster.”

Elle quirks an eyebrow.  “Right. Anyway, nice seeing you again, Carmilla.  And lovely meeting you, Laura.”

They wait until she walks away before both visibly relax.

“Well, now I don’t want to drink this hot cider anymore,” Laura grumbles.

“Why do I have trouble believing that?” Carmilla teases, although she feels the same.

Laura takes an angry sip, and Carmilla gives her an amused look.  “I said I didn’t want to. Not that I wouldn’t.”

 

* * *

 

“ _ Hey, just wanted to let you know she’s traveled _ ,” Mattie says on the phone.  “ _ Vanished right in the middle of children’s story time.  Had to convince those snot-nosed brats it’s a magic trick. _ ”

Laura hums.  “Thanks for the heads up.  It’s been almost two years.  Guess I’d better cancel our reservations at that new tea place around the corner.”

She hears Mattie sigh.  “ _ This is a courtesy call.  I don’t give a rat’s ass what two plans you two have. _ ”

“...Having issues finding someone to cover for her?” Laura asks, acting on a hunch.  “Coz I can cover for her--”

“ _ Stop being so nice all the time, _ ” Mattie growls.  “ _ Her shift ended already.  I had to finish reading that mind-numbing book to those squirming worms in her place. _ ”

Laura laughs at the image.

“ _ Har. Har.  Laugh it up.  Goodbye, Hollis. _ ”

“Bye, Mattie.”

 

Laura returns to typing her latest article.  It’s definitely not hard-hitting news, but it pays the bills.

“Laura?” a voice asks.

She peeks up from her laptop and it takes her a moment to place the face and the accent.  “Elle?”

“I realize this could come off as a bit stalkerish,” Ell says carefully.  “But I followed you and Carmilla back home when we met a week ago and this is the first time I’ve had time to see you alone.”

“Gee, nothing about any of that sounds stalkerish at all to me,” Laura says sarcastically.  Her mind wanders to the can of bear spray her father always used to leave by the front door of the house.

Elle huffs a small laugh.  “I simply wanted a candid conversation with you, without Carmilla’s presence.”

Laura regards her skeptically but decides to give her a chance.  She motions for her to take the seat opposite from her.

“Let’s speak as reasonable women,” Elle says as she sits down with two cups of tea.  She puts one next to Laura’s laptop. “I asked the barista to make another of whatever you ordered.”

“Not getting any less stalker-y,” Laura comments dryly.   _ Something tells me she’s anything but a reasonable woman. _

 

Elle nods in understanding, taking a sip from her own drink.  “I can see how you’ve managed to put up with her for so long. You’ve got quite the feisty spirit.”

Laura holds up a hand.  “Look. Whatever you’ve gotta say, you’re gonna have to say it without flat-out insulting Carm like that-- making her sound like some burden or horrible curse on my life.”

“Fair enough,” Elle says after a few moments.  “How much did Carmilla tell you about our time together?”

“That she dated you for a couple years in high school when you’d transfered here.  When you first started dating, she was traveling so much at that point that she was barely in school, but you were too wrapped up in general high school drama to really question it,” Laura says.  “About a year and a half in, she vanished while on a date with you. She reappeared a few hours later and you were freaking out.”

Laura looks at her to dispute anything, but when Elle does, she continues.

“She explained her condition to you.  How hard it is for her. How she can’t control it.  She asked you to give her a chance coz she really liked you.  Made her feel like a normal girl when she’s with you.”

Elle clenches her jaw and continues to drink from her cup.

“The next several months she thought everything was fine.  Then one day, she came back from a travel and found out she’d been gone a couple weeks and you’d started dating another girl.  Just like that.”

 

Elle laughs ruefully.  “Not, ‘ _ just like that _ .’  She’d been gone for weeks at a time.  She was traveling more often than not for our relationship.  What was I supposed to do, wait for her?” She shakes her head.  “Hell, no. I wasn’t about to wait for her to steal the best years of my life.”

Laura stares at her for a long time.  “I’ve waited months and years for her my whole life.  And, yes, it’s hard. And it’s even more hard now because before, she was traveling away from her timeline into mine, and I always knew we were on borrowed time.  Now, she just vanishes when we’re in the middle of something. But she always comes back. You didn’t find solace in that? A magic in that? In knowing she’d come back to you?”

“Ah, I see,” Elle smirks. “She’s not with you because of your strength.  She’s with you because you’re weak. Because you’re naive and optimistic and believe that good always wins and love is forever.”  She shakes her head. “The world doesn’t work that way.”

 

A cold silence hovers between them, with an even colder shared look lingering.

“Why are you here?” Laura finally asks.

“To warn you what life is like when you’re dating Carmilla Karnstein,” Elle replies stiffly.  “To tell you it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. To tell you how the world really works when she’s around.”

“Carm really isn’t the one who you blame for the world, is she? You could have everything that you ever wanted and you would still give it up because you are afraid.  You were afraid that one day, Carm might not come back. You were afraid of having your own life and that you’d get stuck waiting instead of working towards anything scary by yourself.  You,” Laura says pointedly, “came here today to hurt me.”

She drums her fingers on the tabletop.

“Everything that you’re doing right now, hurting everyone else, hurting yourself, it’s just because you’re afraid of what comes next.  And rather than owning that, you’ve put it all on Carm.”  

 

Elle swallows hard.  “She’s a freak who wriggled her way into my life, knowing she can never stay permanently when I need her.  She time travels. She deserves the blame for making me wait.”

“It’s not all about you,” Laura says, appalled.  “It’s about how afraid she is when she travels and needs someone to come home to.  Someone who isn’t scared to wait for her to come home.”

 

“And it’s clear, cupcake, that Elle is not that someone,” a voice says from behind Laura.

Laura jumps and turns in her seat.  “Carm?”

Elle looks like she’s seen a ghost.

Carmilla smiles and kisses Laura on the cheek, pulling over a chair and sitting beside her.  “Next time, might want to make sure your call with Mattie ended first.” She points down at Laura’s phone screen, which shows that Mattie is still on the line.  Carmilla holds up another phone-- Mattie’s phone, showing Laura is also still on the line. “I traveled back at the end of your conversation with her and she forgot to hang up.”

Laura gulps.  “Y-You’ve heard us this whole time?”

Carmilla nods, turning her attention to Elle.

 

“Tell me something, Elle.  When you went back home, is that what you told your parents?  That some freak had wasted a couple years of your life? Is that how you’ve justified all your fears?  That at least you’re not with some monster who needs a home?”

Carmilla fixes Elle with a look.

“Are you really so afraid of what my condition does?  Coz if that’s how you’re gonna live your life… You’ll never be able to enjoy it.  You’ll spend the rest of your days looking over your shoulder wondering if it’s my echoed step you hear at your temporal door.”

 

Elle stands up at that.  “I don’t have to justify what I did or how I live my life to you monsters.”

Laura grins smugly.  “And we don’t have to justify how we live to you.  If anyone’s the monster here, it’s you.”

Carmilla and Laura watch as Elle walks away, out of the cafe.

 

“She left her drink behind,” Laura points out, laughing as Carmilla takes it and drinks from it.

Carmilla chuckles and she pats Laura on the leg.  “Thank you, Laura.”

“For what?” Laura asks.

Carmilla shrugs.  “For never being afraid to wait.”

Laura smiles warmly at her.  “Thank  _ you _ .”

“For what?” Carmilla asks, furrowing her eyebrows together.

Laura’s smile grows.  “For always coming back.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	20. The Proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura decides to try and give Carmilla a little nudge she didn't even need

**April 2017**

 

 

A few months had passed since Carmilla started acting weird.  She’d told Laura that she’d simply traveled back to some mundane moment in her teenage years, but Laura wasn’t buying it.

And once Carmilla’s birthday had come and went without another traveling incident, her suspicions were confirmed-- Carmilla had traveled back to November 2001, when Past Laura gave Carmilla a letter from Future Carmilla telling her to propose.  Of course, at the time, little Laura hadn’t known that the letter was about her.

 

So why had Carmilla lied about when she had gone?  And why had she waited and waited to propose?

It occurred to Laura that maybe Carmilla didn’t want to propose.  Or maybe she thought Laura would say ‘no.’

Maybe Carmilla really was fed up with feeling like the Universe never gave her a chance to make her own decisions.

 

Well, Laura Hollis wasn’t about to have that.

She’d give Carmilla the choice.  She’d propose to Carmilla and give her the opportunity to make the choice on her own.

Even if Carmilla’s answer was going to be ‘no.’

 

So she set a plan in motion, and then went to visit Carmilla at work the day of its execution.  Carmilla had just traveled the night before and was acting even more odd when she came back this morning.

Laura walks in to find Mattie throwing a book from her office to where Carmilla is sitting at the circulation desk, and laughs to find them squabbling.

 

“Budget cuts got you sweeping the floor with books, huh?”

Carmilla is picking up the book and sits up, narrowing her eyes playfully at Laura.  “At this point they should just fire the branch manager to save money.”

“ _ You’re lucky I don’t have another book in here to throw at you _ ,” Mattie growls from inside her office.

“Probably better coz you might hit me instead,” Laura points out.

Mattie cackles.  “ _ You say that like it’s a bad thing. _ ”

Carmilla shoots Laura a wink.  “I’d dive in front of a thrown book for you any day.”

“My hero,” Laura says, leaning in for a kiss.

Mattie finally pokes her head out of the door.  “No, no, no-no,  _ no _ ,” she snaps.  “Not while Carm is still working.”

 

Laura and Carmilla both roll their eyes, and Laura sneaks a quick peck before giggling at Mattie’s scathing look as she sits down at a patron table.

After about an hour, Carmilla is putting on her coat as Laura wraps up work on her latest article.

 

“So, I know you said you wanted to visit the book store from our first date,” Laura says after a couple blocks of walking in comfortable silence, “but LaF was wondering if they could draw some blood from you for testing for a thing they’re working on for grad school.”

This seems to annoy Carmilla.  “Can’t we do this tomorrow?”

“They only have the lab booked for another hour this week.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Carmilla says through gritted teeth.

Laura frowns.  “I just got the text as we were walking.”

“It’s a no,” Carmilla replies, not realizing she’s gripping Laura’s hand tighter.

“Oh--”

“I said, ‘it’s a _ no! _ ’” Carmilla shouts, making Laura jump.

Laura lets go of Carmilla’s hand.  “I was going to say ‘okay.’” She stares at Carmilla in bewilderment. “What is with you?”

 

Carmilla swallows hard.  “Sorry. I think the traveling last night into our future kinda threw me a bit.”  She laughs weakly after her lie. “Getting too old for this shit.”

Laura regards her with concern.  “Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to work today.  Wanna just skip the book store and go home?”

“No!”  Carmilla blurts out.  She clears her throat.  “No.”

“Oooookay,” Laura replies, more perplexed.

They continue walking as Carmilla tries to steel her nerves.  Laura’s now glued to her phone, clearly afraid to antagonize Carmilla further, and Carmilla can’t say she blames her.  She texts the group chat with everyone, asking if she should cancel the proposal plan for tonight.

 

_ “Dude we already got into so much trouble clearing this with the park ranger,” _ LaFontaine replies.

“ _ Her answer isn’t going to change based on whether she’s grumpy or not, _ ” Danny writes.  “ _ She loves you. _ ”

“ _ I canceled my very important plans for this tonight.  Do not back out of this, Hollis, _ ” Mattie states.  It’s the only time she’s ever written in this chat.

 

“Wh-What are you writing about?” Carmilla manages to ask, pulling Laura away from her phone screen.

“An investigative article about some dangerous person with a mask goat taking women downtown,” Laura replies as she stuffs her phone back into her pocket.

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together.  “Oh. That… Sounds dangerous.”

Laura shrugs.  “The trails have all gone cold and the cops are starting to let the case fall to the side since the perp doesn’t actually do anything to the women.  But I’m not about to wait around for something to actually happen to the victims, y’know?”

“Wouldn’t be you if you did,” Carmilla comments.  “Just be careful. He’s dangerous.”

Laura gives her a suspicious glance and stops walking.  “How do you know it’s a guy and that he’s dangerous?”

Carmilla averts her gaze.  “Uhm… Spoilers?”

“Y-You learned something about this case when you traveled to the future?  He’s still around in 2019?” Laura asks, panicked.  _ That’s at least two more years they--  _ he _ ’ll be running around! _

“I never said any of that,” Carmilla rushes out.  “I-I’m just… Assuming he’s a guy. And he sounds dangerous.  That’s-That’s all. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Laura hums, totally unconvinced.

 

They’ve reached the book store, and a relieved Carmilla holds open the door for Laura.

Then she waits expectantly once they’re inside.  Laura looks at her, confused. “You’re the one who wanted to come in here, Carm.”

“Oh.”  Carmilla could jump into a hole right now and curl up into the awkward ball she is.  “Right.”

“Is everything okay?” Laura finally asks.  “You’ve been acting weird since we left the library.”   _ Before then, even. _

Carmilla swallows hard.  “I’m fine. Just… J-Just start walking and we’ll decide on a book together.”

Laura rolls her eyes and starts walking down an aisle.

“Wait, not that one,” Carmilla says urgently, following after her.

“I’m just going down this aisle to turn into the next one,” Laura replies, becoming increasingly irate as she walks through the aisles.

Carmilla laughs nervously.  “Good.”

 

Laura stops and spins, her annoyance reaching a peak. “What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with  _ you _ ?” Carmilla asks, her anxiety growing by the minute. “Just pick a damn book!  Not that difficult, sweetheart.”

Laura throws her hands in the air as she wanders down the row.  “Smug.”

“Hypocritical,” Carmilla fires back before she can stop herself.

“ _ Superior. _ ”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Delusional.”

“Condescending!” Laura snaps, not letting up.  “Narcisstic, uncaring, nihilistic little--”

Carmilla trails after Laura.  “Tightly-wound, prissy, nerdy--”

 

Laura grabs a random book off the bookcase and throws it on the floor, flipping it open.

“God  _ DAMN _ it, Carm!”  She huffs, her eyes welling up with tears.  “Are you not happy with this relationship anymore, or something?”  Her voice cracks. “Did you not want to go home because you want to break up with me?”

_ If we break up, I’m  _ definitely _ calling this proposal off. _

 

Carmilla suddenly pales as she steps forward, cradling Laura’s face in her hands.  “What? No. Laura.  _ No _ !”

“Then why have you been acting all upset and distant all night?” Laura asks wiping away her tears.

“Look at the book,” Carmilla says desperately.

Laura sniffles.  “What are you talking about, you idiot?”

“The book.  The one you threw on the floor.  Look at it,” Carmilla replies, letting go of Laura.

 

Laura lets out a long, shaky sigh and kneels down next to the floor.  Her eyes widen.

A notecard wedged in between the pages reads, “ _ Laura, Will you marry me? _ ”

Laura picks it up and re-reads it over and over, growing more and more confused each time.   _ Huh? _

Carmilla stands beside her, chewing her lip.  “I, uh… It’s...” She stares nervously at the floor.  “If you want to say no… If a future with me isn’t something you see for yourself… I-I’ll...”

 

Laura turns to face Carmilla, crying for an entirely different reason now.  “Carm, all I’ve ever seen in my past, present, and future, is us together. Whether it was as friends, or partners, or wives.  It’ll always be yes.”

She hadn’t even realized she was living out exactly what the letter told Carmilla to do.  Laura laughs through her tears and kisses Carmilla.

Then she pulls away and smacks her lightly with another laugh.

“You idiot.  You really thought I’d say no?”

 

Carmilla shrugs shyly.  “I know you’ve known since you were a kid that I’d be married.  And then last night I traveled to 2019 and Future Us told me that every iteration of us has gotten engaged.  B-But I still couldn’t help but… worry  _ this _ iteration of you might realize she’d waste her whole life waiting for me.  Plus waiting for months didn’t really help.”

“Our lives together won’t be a waste,” Laura says immediately.  “Waiting for you will always be worth it.”

 

“Laura, before I met you, I was so lost.  With losing my dad and all the traveling, I never felt understood or like I had a home.  And every step of the way, you’ve given me a reason to stay-- whether it was 2012, or 1997-- whatever,” Carmilla replies gently and sincerely before she gets down on one knee. “Coming home to you will always be worth it.”

She produces a small box from her pocket and pops it open, showing a ring.

“I… know it’s not much.  But it...” She fiddles with it.  “The stone is from a ring my dad gave me when I was little on our of our stargazing trips.  I had it put onto this band for you. It’ll be like two times I’ve ever felt like I was home, together forever.”

 

Laura holds her hand out and watches as Carmilla carefully slips it on. “Carm.  This is perfect. I love you so much.”

 

She pulls Carmilla to her feet and tugs her closer for a tender, long kiss before she admires the ring on her finger and looks down at the book in her hands.

“ _ Worthy of Trust and Confidence _ , by Kara A. McLeod,” she reads.

“Figured if it’s always worked for us in spite of whatever book we picked on our first date, might as well not deviate since we’re already a unique iteration,” Carmilla explains with a chuckle.  “Although, I  _ was _ just told to put it in the first location I thought felt right.”

“Carm, this is perfect,” Laura repeats with a smile.

 

With a wide grin, they walk around the aisle to find a crowd of people waiting.  As soon as they come into view, they begin applauding.

Laura giggles and looks to Carmilla for an explanation.

“I may have come in here before my shift to tell them to make sure no one else takes that book,” Carmilla mumbles.

“She was very insistent,” the manager comments.

Laura laughs harder and kisses her on the cheek again.  “I love you.” She pulls away and walks up to the manager, looking at his name tag.  “Thanks, Will.”

“Don’t mention it,” he replies.

 

Laura and Carmilla graciously accept congratulation wishes from everyone-- Laura more than Carmilla, who mumbles her gratitude shyly-- and take the book before leaving the one that Mattie had thrown at her earlier. 

“ _ Consider it a donation from the library _ ,” Mattie had told her when Carmilla first went to her with concerns about not being able to take a book from the apartment that she’d want to take to the bookshare without tipping Laura off that something was up.

As Carmilla goes to put that book in its place--  _ Fifty Shades of Grey _ , which Mattie insisted the library could do without-- Laura fires off another text.

 

They start walking home slowly, holding hands as Laura admires the ring on her hand.

Laura suggests they take the scenic route and go through the park, and Carmilla readily agrees.

They turn a corner around a bush, and Carmilla stops short when she sees a small temporary arch set up, lit by candles.

Carmilla frowns.  “What the waxy hell is thi--”

She turns to find Laura down on one knee.

“Oh,” Carmilla manages to say.

“You, uh, are a really crappy liar,” Laura laughs.  “You only traveled back when you’re 26 once to see me, silly.  Once you left, I knew when you went. Plus you’ve been looking at me like you’ve had indigestion.”

Danny, LaFontaine, Perry, Kirsch, Mattie, and Sherman all step out from around the bushes and stand beside the arch on both sides.

 

“This ring belonged to my mom.  I got it resized for you,” Laura says slowly.  “Which is why when you first asked my dad for it, he lied and said we lost it over the years.”

Sherman winks and both Laura and Carmilla laugh.

“I had no idea you had it planned for tonight, though,” Laura says, giving Mattie a pointed look.  “Which is why when you insisted we go to the book share, I had to tell them to wait to light the candles.“

She chuckles before she clears her throat and opens the box.  The flames from the candles make it-- and Carmilla glow, and Laura begins tearing up at the beautiful sight before her.

 

“Carm, I know our relationship has hardly been traditional.  But like I said earlier, having you in my life has always been something I’m grateful for-- as a best friend, as a girlfriend, and… even though I’m no time traveler with knowledge of the future, I know I’d be grateful for you to be my wife.”

Carmilla smiles and tears flow down her cheeks.

“Life has thrown impossible hardships at you.  And through it all, you’re still a kind, loving, generous woman.  And you stay. I mean, you leave-- obviously-- but you always come back.  And you stay.” Laura swallows hard. “And I know you already proposed to me and I already said yes but I just wanted you to know you always have a home with me.  Anywhere. Anytime. Will you marry me?”

 

Carmilla sniffles and her voice cracks.  “Yes. Yes.”

Laura grins and slips the ring on while their friends applaud and cheer, Sherman tearing up and sharing a pack of tissues with Kirsch, who’s been sobbing nonstop since he stepped out from the bushes.

Laura gets up and Carmilla pulls her in for a long kiss.

 

“It’s you and me,” Laura says softly.

“It’s you and me,” Carmilla says with a nod.

“It’s the two of you and the park security who I had to bribe to let us light these candles,” Mattie grumbles.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	21. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Carmilla and Laura prepare for their wedding the next day, unexpected visitors throw the ceremony into doubt. Luckily, the Universe lends a hand.

**September 2017**

 

 

The wedding planning was a relatively easy process, since it seemed like Carmilla and Laura were always on the same page.  They divided tasks equally and offered each other opinions on final decisions for these tasks. Perry and Mattie helped out a lot with organizing and coordinating, as well.

And soon enough, they were at the day of their rehearsal dinner.

Laura was just finalizing the seating chart, removing one guest she’d been holding out on, when she hears Carmilla walk into the kitchen.

 

“Good morning,” Carmilla mumbles happily, walking up behind Laura as she sits at the kitchen counter.  She wraps her arms around Laura’s waist and leans her chin on Laura’s shoulder. “Almost-wife.”

Laura giggles and turns to kiss her on the cheek.  “Good  _ afternoon _ , almost-wife.”

Carmilla gives her a sheepish look.  “Who knows? Maybe married life will turn me into an early riser.”

“I highly doubt that,” Laura teases, laughing when Carmilla pouts.  “Why fix what ain’t broken?”

Carmilla grins.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Laura replies.  “Just make sure you’re on time for our wedding tomorrow.”

 

“I promise, no matter what, I will show up on time at our wedding.”  Carmilla looks at the time on her phone and frowns. “Might not be on time for our rehearsal dinner, though.”

Laura rolls her eyes with an amused snort.  “Lemme guess. You didn’t pick up your dry cleaning yet.”

Carmilla’s frown deepens.  “I suck.”

“No.  You’re amazing.  But you’d be more amazing if you went to get your clothes for tonight.”  Laura gently shrugs Carmilla’s embrace off and spins in her chair, handing her a thermos of coffee she’d already prepared knowing this would happen.

“Sometimes I think you’ve got time traveling abilities, too,” Carmilla huffs and grabs her wallet and phone before heading out the door.

 

Laura shakes her head in amusement and continues typing up her article.

 

Ten minutes go by before there’s a knock at the door.  Laura gets up to open it, already chuckling. “It wasn’t even locked, Carm,” Laura says, turning the doorknob.  “Although, I  _ was _ wondering how long it’d take you to realize you forgot your ticket and the keys--”  Her mouth hangs open upon seeing the two people at the door.

 

“That  _ does _ sound like Carmilla,” Lilita Morgan says, “doesn’t it?”

Elle nods.  “Yes. It does.”

Laura continues to gape at them.

“Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Elle asks.

“We’re not vampires,” Lilita comments to Elle, brushing past Laura.  “Besides. I technically did get an invite.”

Laura clenches her jaw as Elle follows Lilita in and she turns to face them, arms crossed.  “The RSVP deadline was weeks ago so clearly you’re not here to celebrate the joyous union of Carmilla Karnstein and Laura Hollis.”

“Does Carm even know you invited her mother to the wedding?” Elle asks.

“No.  Because her invite specifically said she would not be guaranteed a seat for attendance until we’d met and talked first,” Laura replies.  “And why the hell are  _ you _ here?”

 

Lilita sighs.  “I am not celebrating this madness for the same reason she’s here.”

“We’re here to talk you out of this entire charade,” Elle continues.

Laura stares at them.  “You’re kidding, right?  The wedding is tomorrow and I love her.  Nothing you can say will change either of those things.”

“We understand that,” Lilita says while Elle makes a gagging gesture.  “We’re here  _ because _ you love her.”

“What?” Laura asks, her confusion growing by the moment.

Lilita takes a seat on the couch.  “Love makes you blind. Trust me.” She clicks her tongue.  “Miss Sheridan has told me you insist that waiting for my daughter during her travels is no concern to you.”

“That’s true,” Laura says firmly.

“How about the effect traveling has on her?” Lilita asks.

 

Laura looks back and forth between Lilita and Elle.  “What are you talking about?”

“When she was living with me, I made sure she never felt like anything was permanent.  She was always aware everything was temporary.”

“Yes…?  And that was awful and scarred her,” Laura remarks.

Lilita scoffs.  “It made her stronger.  That way when she did travel, she wouldn’t have been lulled into a sense of false security.  She would always be prepared to fight for whatever she needed to survive.”

“It made her feel like she didn’t have a home!” Laura exclaims.

“I made her feel like she had a home,” Elle points out.  “Look how well that turned out.”

Laura is bewildered by their bizarre assessments of their behavior.  “You took away that feeling of home when you started dating someone else because you were afraid what a future with her would be like.  I’m not afraid.”

“But that’s what we’re here to talk about,” Lilita cuts in calmly when Elle starts to get ready for another heated argument.  “Sometimes, when Carmilla travels, it’s to see you, yes?”

 

Laura nods.

“But sometimes, she’s not so lucky.  She ends up somewhere unfamiliar. A destination she can’t control or pick.  And in those times, she has to find food and shelter. She has to be strong and scrappy.”  Lilita gives her a pointed look. “She’s only getting older. By offering her safety and warmth, she’ll forget how strong she has to be to survive in this world that tries so hard to stomp out the light in normal women to begin with.”

“You’re saying… that love is making her weak?” Laura blinks at her, appalled.

“It makes both of you weak,” Elle clarifies.

Laura looks to Elle.  “Oh, my god. That time Carm disappeared on you for two weeks and you broke up with her after-- is this what Carm’s mom told you?  Is that why you just dropped Carm without looking back?”

 

“She understood what it took me too long to understand,” Lilita declares.  “That Carmilla’s father was better off without me. Without me bringing a daughter into his life.  If he hadn’t settled down with me, she never would’ve been born. He wouldn’t have been on that road to go see some silly meteor shower with her.  Did you know he didn’t even like those silly things? He just went to them because she asked to see them. Absurd.”

“If he hadn’t died that night, he still would’ve died  _ somehow _ ,” Laura says, exasperated.  “You can’t live your life afraid you’ll lose the person you love!  Otherwise, what’s the point in any of it?”

Lilita’s expression turns cold.  “There  _ is no point _ .  Don’t you see, child?  Love will have its sacrifices.  It’s not worth it.”

“That is a very dangerous and bitter way to see things,” Laura replies through gritted teeth.  “It’s worth it to me.”

“Then you are a foolish girl,” Lilita snarls.  “Your stupidity knows no bounds.”

 

“ _ Get out _ .”

Laura turns to find a very upset Carmilla standing in the doorway.

“Carm.”  Laura opens and closes her mouth several times before managing to stammer out, “H-How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.”  Carmilla steps into the apartment, hands clenched into fists and her body shaking with rage.  “Get out, the both of you. I never want to see either of you again, in any timeline.”

Lilita stands as Elle walks past Carmilla, indignant.  “Darling--”

“GET THE FUCK OUT,” Carmilla roars.  “How dare you talk to the woman I love like that?  Who the hell do you think you are? Get! Out!”

Lilita holds up her hands in surrender and walks briskly past her.  She hovers in the hallway.

“For what it’s worth, Miss Hollis… I appreciate the invitation to the wedding.  But I will unfortunately have to decline.”

With that, she turns smugly and follows after Elle.

 

Laura takes a few tentative steps towards Carmilla.

“Carm, are you oka--”

“You sent her an invite?” Carmilla interrupts, her voice low.

Laura swallows hard.  “I-- I… Look, I can explain.”

Carmilla closes the gap between them, fury in every movement.  “How could you.” She cuts Laura’s response off. “You knew how much she’s hurt me.  You know how much she still hurts me. And you invited her, to what should’ve been the happiest day of our lives, without even asking me?”

Laura shakes her head.  “Carm, please-- let me just--”

“NO!” Carmilla yells.  “There’s no forgiving this, Laura.  I--”

 

Her eyes widen.

“Fuck.”

Before either of them can say another word, she disappears.

 

Laura looks down at the discarded pile of clothes, tears forming in her eyes.

She runs to her cell phone and calls her friends, barely managing to explain how badly she’d messed up.

Danny, Perry, LaFontaine, and Kirsch all show up within the hour.  Perry and LaFontaine go to pick up Carmilla’s suit for the rehearsal dinner.

Danny and Kirsch sit through a few episodes of  _ Buffy _ with Laura to try and cheer her up, but she seems to dissociate through all of them.

 

By the time the rehearsal dinner is supposed to start, Carmilla still hasn’t returned.

Under some coaxing from her friends, Laura goes to it, but she looks miserable through the whole thing.

Sherman holds his upset daughter and does his best to reassure her that the wedding won’t be called off.  When it’s clear Laura isn’t feeling up for a rehearsal dinner, he takes care of the caterer and venue and tells her friends to take her home.

Mattie doesn’t show up, either.

 

_ How did I mess this up so badly? _

 

Right after the proposals, Laura had found Lilita quietly standing outside the library, clearly wrestling with the decision of whether to go in.  She finally opted to walk away, and Laura caught up with her.

“ _ Why are you here? _ ” Laura had asked.

“ _ None of your business, girl. _ ”

Laura crossed her arms.  “ _ It kinda of us, considering we’re about to get married. _ ”

Lilita gave her a look with an unreadable expression.

“ _ Look _ ,” Laura sighed.  “ _ If you want to make amends-- this is our address.  When you’re ready, come visit. Maybe we can talk things out and, if Carm is okay with it, you’ll get an invite with an address to the wedding.  But otherwise I don’t want you anywhere near her spoiling the big day. _ ”

And that’s where the conversation had ended.  Until today.

 

Morose, Laura sends her friends home.  She wants to turn her phone off and cut herself off from the world, but leaves it on the off chance that Mattie does call her back.

She does get one call, but it’s just dead air on the other end before it hangs up.

 

The next morning, there’s still no Carmilla.  And Mattie is ignoring all of Laura’s calls and texts.

 

“How did she find out we fought?” Laura asks Danny, her voice raspy from crying all night.

“Maybe she traveled to some point in Mattie’s past and told her?”  Danny pats Laura’s leg as she sits beside her on the couch.

Laura sniffles.  “Great.”

“It’ll work out, Hollis,” Danny says gently.

The friends are sitting around the apartment, unsure of whether to cancel the wedding altogether.  Sherman is waiting at the venue for the decision to be made.

Laura lets out a sob and wipes her damp cheeks.  “I really messed up, Danny. I-I just thought I could make this right for her after all she’s done for me.  That having her mom at our wedding would… would...” She buries her face in her hands. “What if she hates me forever?”

“She won’t, dear,” Perry says.  “There’s still plenty of times she still has to travel back to see you-- see us-- in the past.  And she clearly loved you during those travels.”

 

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me, Hollis,” a voice comments.

Laura stares up in shock.  “Carm!” She jumps up and starts to hug her before hesitating.  “I-I’m so sorry. I understand if you hate me--”

“Hold the apologies,” Future Carmilla replies gently.  “I’m, uh… From 2020. And suddenly things are making a lot of sense.”

“Oh god, we’re broken up aren’t we?  We just never got married coz of how badly I messed up, and you decided to never see me again, but you’re nice to me when you travel back to my past because you didn’t want to punish me for something I hadn’t done yet, but now that you’ve traveled back to a version of me who’s done this horrible, horrible thing to you, you--”

Future Carmilla gently grabs Laura by the shoulders.  “Breathe, cupcake. Breathe.”

Laura stops talking and inhales shakily.

“We get married, okay?” Future Carmilla says.  “We get married and… well, everything else is spoilers, but.  We get married. We’re  _ getting _ married.”

“You sure as hell won’t be if we don’t get moving,” a voice growls from the doorway.

Laura looks behind Future Carmilla to see a grumpier-than-usual Mattie.

“Stop gawking at me and get in the damn car.  You two have a wedding to get to,” Mattie snaps.

 

 

* * *

 

“She traveled into my apartment right before the rehearsal dinner and tripped over my ottoman and broke my phone and also my router,” Mattie grumbles from the driver’s seat.  “By the time we drove to the library to figure out how to get to the venue and we got there, the place was empty.”

Future Carmilla clears her throat awkwardly.  “So then we were gonna come here, but then I realized that in my timeline, I was never at the altar.  I’d traveled to 2020, and Future You told me that Future Me had just traveled away. Which must mean Future Me must’ve been the one at the ceremony.”  She takes Laura’s hand and kisses it. “So we went to a 24-hour tailor and had them make the same exact suit for a reason you’ll find out later. I used their phone to call you and give you a heads up coz I knew you were really upset but… I didn’t know if that’d mess with the timeline too much.”

Laura looks down at their intertwined hands.

 

Future Carmilla sighs.  “I’m sorry. I just thought I’d try to make our big day as perfect as I could while I was here without messing up everything and… I don’t know if I should’ve come to you sooner.”

Laura stares for a little while longer before bursting into tears.  Her hysterical cries are only broken up by gasps for air.

“Laura, Laura,” Future Carmilla rushes out.  “Hey, talk to me,” she says with urgency, her voice soft and gentle.

“I-I’m the one who’s sorry,” Laura manages to sob.  “I messed up and hurt you and and I never meant to hurt you and I did this awful thing to you and I didn’t think it would hurt you but it did--”

Future Carmilla cups her face in her hands.  “Laura.”

Laura sniffles and stops talking.

 

“Look, I’m not gonna lie.  I was really mad at you for trying to insert my mother into my life without even asking me.  And I’ll probably be mad at you for a very long time.”

Laura lets out another sob.

“But I’ll learn to understand that you didn’t mean to hurt me.  That you wanted to be kind and give her a chance and see if she was worth it.  Because if you  _ really _ wanted to hurt me, you would’ve just sent her an invite to our wedding.  Not an invite to an invite to our wedding where she’d have to pass an interview first.”

“For what it’s worth,” Laura says with a voice crack, “she failed the interview.”

Future Carmilla laughs.  “That’s worth a lot.”

Laura gives a sobbed laugh.

 

“But as someone once told me in my timeline-- as someone is undoubtedly telling me in yours-- You and I are stronger together.  I’m your hero and you’re mine. And maybe it’s all of our responsibilities to be heroes for each other,” Future Carmilla says.

 

Laura chuckles, having finally calmed down.

“Maybe.”

 

* * *

 

“Carm,” Laura says at the altar, in a white tuxedo suit matching Carmilla’s.  Their friends are sat around them in a small circle, with Sherman directly behind Laura and Mattie directly behind Carmilla.

Kirsch lets out a loud sob, making everyone laugh.  Danny hands him a tissue.

Laura clears her throat.

 

“Carm, when I first met you, I was this scared little girl.  And for most of the time I’ve known you, I’ve always felt like a scared girl.  But you always supported me, and helped me, and stood by me. At my side, like a partner.  You always listened to what I wanted and told me what you thought even when you knew it wasn’t what I wanted.  You’ve always been my strength and my future-- and my past and my present. And I hope...”

Her voice cracks and Future Carmilla gives her a small nod to continue.

“I hope we spend the rest of our lives together, for all time.  Because I can’t see a single second in this universe being spent without you in it.”

 

Betty, their officiator, looks to Future Carmilla.

“Carmilla Karnstein, you’re up.”  She frowns. “And by the looks of it, you’d better go quickly coz you look a lot older than the last time I saw you.  Although somehow younger than the last time I saw you...”

Future Carmilla chuckles, purposely ignoring her confusion, and looks Laura in the eyes.

“Gonna do my best to recite exactly what was written,” she says.  “Instead of improvising with some spoilers, ruining the timeline, and destroying the space-time continuum.”

Laura laughs.

“Before I met you,  before all this, I spent so much time trying to figure out how to keep myself safe.  Not just physically. I didn’t wanna risk hoping too hard and ending up disappointed, or loving too much and having too much to lose... Coz it seemed like that’s the lesson the world was trying to teach me, you know?”

Future Carmilla turns her note cards around.

“It actually says that, verbatim.”

 

Laura laughs again, doing her best to ignore Betty’s growing bewildered look.

“Except, now I think that … love is worth the risk.  And, it doesn’t matter how safe I try and make myself, there’s always gonna be disappointment and loss.  There’s no stopping that.  Not unless you give up before you even try.”  Future Carmilla swallows hard. “You taught me that. You taught me how to feel safe in the face of all the hardships life throws at me. You taught me that being strong isn’t something someone has to be by themselves. And you taught me what it’s like to live, not without fear-- but alongside it-- facing it.  And you’ve shown me what it feels like to be home. And, Laura Hollis, I want to be coming home to you for the rest of our lives. Forever. Let’s leap into Forever together.”

“Together,” Laura nods.

 

Laura and Future Carmilla look to Betty, who genuinely gives them a warm smile.

“By the powers vested in me by the Silas University Marriage Officiator Course,” she declares, “I now pronounce you, married.”

Everyone cheers as Future Carmilla and Laura meet halfway for a long, passionate kiss.

 

* * *

 

Later, after the first dance has been performed to  Alison Krauss’s “When You Say Nothing At All,” and dinner and cake have been served, Future Carmilla tugs Laura to a private conversation outside.

“I know I’ve always said no spoilers,” she begins.  “So I’ll try to keep it as vague as possible. First of all, when Past Me comes back to your time, she’s still gonna be pretty hurt and damaged and angry.  Less so than when she left, thanks to Future You. But it’ll take a bit for her to get past it. But you’ll help me in your own way. Just keep being yourself, okay?”

Laura nods carefully.

“Second of all.  We’re gonna go through a lot-- separately, and together.  You’ll always be there for me and… I won’t always be there for you.  And I’m apologizing now, but I know it won’t do a damn thing.” Future Carmilla cuts Laura’s attempted interruption off.  “You can insist that’s not true and you’ll always understand, and I think that’s true. But still. I’m sorry.” She sighs and shakes her head.  “And third of all. I promise, even when I’m not around for you, and you feel like that scared little girl who’s alone… You’re not alone. I’m always with you, no matter what.  I love you so, so much, Laura.”

Future Carmilla leans in and kisses Laura tenderly on the cheek.

“Buckle up, creampuff.  It’s gonna be a wild three years.”

 

With that, Future Carmilla disappears from sight.

 

Laura takes a few deep breaths and manages to go back in, and all of her friends give her knowing looks. She places the folded up suit on Carmilla’s seat at the wedding dining table.  Mattie raises a glass of wine in her direction in silence.

Danny pulls her to the dance floor and the group dances and shares laughs for another hour, before the venue doors open.

Carmilla walks through, dressed in her own suit.

 

The room falls silent before forcibly restarting conversations again as the buzz is clearly trying to spare Laura from being the center of attention.

Laura gulps and steels her nerves, hesitantly walking up to Carmilla.  “Hey.”

“Hey,” Carmilla returns softly.  “You… look gorgeous.”

“So do you,” Laura says.  She clears her throat awkwardly.  “So, uhm… we got married.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “I heard. Not quite sure on the how.”

“Guess that’ll be spoilers for you,” Laura teases lightly.

 

There’s a few seconds of uneasy silence between them.

“I’m still hurt you did what you did,” Carmilla says quietly.  “But… not enough to… walk away from us.”

Laura looks visibly relieved.  “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“Were those in your vows?” Carmilla asks with a small laugh.

“Guess you’ll have to watch Perry’s recording of the ceremony and find out.”

They both chuckle.

 

“Wanna have our first real dance as a married couple?” Laura finally asks.

Carmilla nods, tears forming in her eyes.

“And then tomorrow, we talk,” Laura says.

“Yes.  But for tonight… we waltz,” Carmilla replies, taking Laura’s hand in hers and leading her to the dance floor.

 

They hold each other and begin to whirl around the dance floor gracefully, beautifully in tune with each other.

“What a breathtaking sight,” Perry marvels as Carmilla twirls Laura and smiles while she giggles.

 

Betty cocks her head to the side and turns to look at Danny.  “I could’ve sworn Carmilla had shorter hair like, two hours ago?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	22. The Things They Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Carmilla's traveling starts getting out of hand and she starts missing more and more of the present with Laura, they decide to take an important step towards a solution. Laura faces a scare without Carmilla.

**March 2018**

 

“Hah,” Carmilla says, peering out the window.

“What is it?” Laura asks.

She walks over and Carmilla points.  “Guess who’s standing in front of the loft.”

Laura lets out a snort.  “No  _ way _ .”

“Remember,” Carmilla says, heading out of the bedroom.  “You have to do a great enough job freaking me out so I bail on your birthday party five years ago.”

Laura chuckles and finishes getting dressed.  She hears the two Carmillas enter the loft from below.

 

“ _ Laura, can you throw down a set of my  _ finest _ pajamas? _ ” Carmilla calls out.

Laura grabs whatever Carmilla’s just changed out of and heads downstairs, ready to pretend to be surprised by their visitor.

How lazy do you have to be to go downstairs naked and then--”

She makes a show of stopping and staring at the two Carmillas before her.  Past Carmilla looks absolutely mortified, and Laura can’t fight the blush that appears when Past Carmilla looks embarrassed.  After all, she had just met Laura in her time.

“Oh.  Oops,” Laura says.

She hands a pile of clothes to Past Carmilla with a nervous laugh.

“Couldn’t have given me a heads up?” she growls at Carmilla.

“Ah, but where would be the fun in that?  We would’ve missed out on the blush and everything.”

Laura narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  “You suck.”

“What’s the big deal?  You were on your way down, anyway.”

 

Past Carmilla watches them bicker while she puts on her clothes.

“So, you’re in March 2018.  When are you from?” Laura asks with a yawn as she heads to the kitchen.

“2012,” Past Carmilla answers, following the couple.

Laura frowns as she hands her a mug filled with coffee, already made by Carmilla before the pair went upstairs to change out of their pajamas to spend the day out and about. “What part of 2012?” she asks, pretending to be ignorant.

Past Carmilla fidgets nervously and starts sipping her coffee.  “We just went to the frat party...”

“Ah, the first time I stuck my tongue in your mouth,” Carmilla says when Laura hands her her mug.

Past Carmilla chokes on her coffee and mumbles a “thank you” when Laura laughs and hands her a napkin.

 

“For the record, this is what you have to look forward to in six years,” Laura grumbles as she pours herself coffee in a third cup.

Past Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “So… in six years… we’re still together?”

Laura hums and nods as she takes a sip.  “Yeah, uh, I’m not going anywhere at all, Carm.  I’m by your side for good.” She shrugs. “Can’t scare me away with all your brooding and snarkiness no matter how hard you try.”

Past Carmilla swallows hard and doesn’t reply.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Slow down, Hollis. Let a girl finish basking in a first kiss.”

 

Laura grins and playfully nudges Carmilla.  “It  _ was _ a pretty awesome kiss, wasn’t it?  But thank Glory it wasn’t the last by far.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Smug.”

Laura gasps, offended.  “Hypocritical.”

“Superior,” Carmilla fires back.

“Delusional,” Laura replies.

Carmilla looks at her past self.  “See what you have to look forward to?”

Laura lightly smacks her on the arm.  “You  _ love _ me.”

“Yeah, spaz.  But you love me, too.  So, who’s the real winner here?”

“ _ You _ are,” Laura replies with a smirk.

Carmilla huffs as Laura kisses her sweetly on the cheek.  “Yeah. I am.” She smiles at her past self. “See you soon.”

 

Past Carmilla vanishes from sight and Laura laughs.  “Did I do a good enough job freaking Past You out like you asked?”

Carmilla gives her a peck on the lips.  “Maybe  _ too _ well, my sneaky little cupcake.”

 

* * *

 

**April 2018**

 

“Whoa,” Carmilla comments when she finally focuses after returning from traveling again-- second time this week.  “Well, that was a rush.”

“When did you go this time?” Laura yawns, holding a toothbrush in her hand as she faces the bathroom mirror in the next room.

She’d just finished one of Carmilla’s shifts at the library and was working on her article on the Goat Kidnapper.

Carmilla walks up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist.  “2005. Watched Past Me go find Mattie.” She chuckles, giving Laura a peck on the cheek before letting her go..  “She had just moved out of her mom’s house. Or… had been kicked out. Still not totally clear on that.”

“She also got her abilities from her dad, right?” Laura asks, rinsing out her mouth and turning to face Carmilla.

“That’s what the assumption is. It’s not like her dad died.  He just.... Ran away. Didn’t even tell Mattie’s mom about his condition, or that Mattie might inherit it.”

 

Carmilla and Laura head back to their bedroom and Carmilla gets into bed first, shifting some of Laura’s work notes to the top of the chest at the foot of their bed.  She tries not to laugh at Laura clearly having gotten bored while working and doodling a giant goat carrying her away.

“That must’ve been weird, watching you meet Mattie,” Laura comments.

 

Carmilla sighs and fluffs their pillows.  “I was standing there, watching my fifteen year old self and… I was so angry.  So lost and hurt. I was traveling so often then. Every single time I lost my temper or got upset.  Mattie told me from the first moment we met that the secret to not traveling so often is to remain calm.  Stay grounded, instead of lose myself in the moment.”

Laura puts on moisturizing lotion and watches as Carmilla sighs.

“After I told Mattie I had met her in her future and she sent me to her past self for guidance, I asked how she could’ve gone through all that and not be angry.  Not be angry at her mom, angry at her dad, angry at the world.”

“And?”

Carmilla snorts.  “She told me that she didn’t see our condition as a curse.  She saw it as a gift. A blessing that made us better than everyone else.  A power that allowed us another two dimensions of travel, that blessed us to be able to see fleeting moments and people that had come and gone.  She said I should be grateful to be so lucky.”

“That explains her holier-than-thou attitude,” Laura comments, making Carmilla laugh.

 

“I guess I was just reminded how much I love coming home to you,” Carmilla comments, shimmying over as Laura climbs into bed and rests her head on Carmilla’s shoulder.  “How glad I am to no longer be that angry, scared, lost girl.”

“I’m glad you don’t feel angry, scared, and lost anymore, either,” Laura says gently, sleepily.

 

“I love you,” Carmilla whispers.

“I love you, too,” Laura mumbles, before drifting off to sleep with soft snoring.

 

* * *

 

**Early July 2018**

 

About a week ago, right after Carmilla had traveled away, Laura was covering for Carmilla at the library when she’d received a call that her father had suffered a heart attack and was in critical condition.  Mattie immediately offered to drive Laura there, and all of her friends showed up to support her.

He was recovering now, but the entire experience left her very shaken, especially since Carmilla wasn’t around.  And they’d made the decision recently to begin redecorating and refurnishing the apartment.

 

Laura had just returned from visiting her father, who was still not conscious for long periods of time, before she decided to educate herself a little bit better.  LaFontaine and their mother had sent her some literature to look at.

“Hey,” Laura greets as Carmilla blinks to adjust to familiar surroundings.

“Hey,” Carmilla replies.

Laura gets up from her spot at the dining room table and hands her a pile of clothes.

Carmilla frowns and looks around, confused.

“You’ve been gone for almost a week,” Laura explains.  “I wasn’t sure how long you’d be gone, and the furniture store wasn’t gonna hold our order forever, so Danny and LaF and Perry and Kirsch came over to help set up the new dining room table and the chairs and the couch and coffee table.”

 

“Oh.”  Carmilla starts getting dressed.

“Yeah.”

Laura goes back to her laptop quietly, scrolling through medical articles and health websites to bookmark.

Carmilla walks around, looking at the new layout.  “I, uh, thought we agreed that we’d put the coffee table in front of the couch,” she says.  “Not next to it?”

Laura doesn’t bother looking up from her screen as she saves one article to read later.  “Yeah, well, I didn’t want to mess up this one coz you wanna put your feet up on it. We have an Ottoman for that.”

Carmilla walks over with a huff.  “But we agreed.”

“ _ No _ ,” Laura says pointedly, finally looking up.  “ _ You _ said you wanted it and I said we’d talk about it and then you traveled and reappeared a few days later and we let the conversation drop.”

 

“Fine.  Then, let’s talk about it now,” Carmilla says, pulling up a dining room chair to face Laura as she sits down.

“I don’t think we should.”  Laura clenches her jaw, her mind on her father lying in a hospital ebd right now. 

“Well, I want to move the coffee table now.”

Laura closes her eyes and takes a long, deep breath before opening them again. “Carm.  if you put your feet up on the table, you’re gonna mess up the top of it. Please use the Ottoman.”

“It’s not a comfortable height,” Carmilla replies.

“Then slouch further down the couch.  You are not using the coffee table to put your feet up,” Laura says evenly.

“Why should I?” Carmilla asks.  “It’s my home too--”

“Because I paid for it, just like I’m paying for everything else!” Laura blurts out before she can stop herself.  Helping her father with his medical bills were not an expense she was prepared to deal with.

 

Carmilla stares at her.  “Excuse me?”

Laura balls up her hands into fists a few times before patting the table, trying to regain her composure.  “I know we have a joint bank account, which I keep a spreadsheet for. But… You’re not working as many shifts as you were when we were dating.  And I pick up your shifts whenever I can. Which means right now I’m paying for most of rent. Your paycheck amount goes towards…  _ some _ of our meals.  The rest of everything else is coming from my salary.  Including these new pieces of furniture.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Carmilla asks, her tone a mixture of annoyed and hurt.  “You could’ve said ‘no’ when I asked for us to redecorate!”

“ _ Because _ \-- you seemed so excited and-and I love that you wanted to make this home  _ ours _ with stuff  _ we _ picked out  _ together, _ ” Laura replies exasperatedly.

Carmilla scoffs.  “What’s the point of having our home have stuff we picked out together if you’re gonna play the ‘I paid for this’ card?”

“I didn’t think you were gonna  _ mess up _ the stuff we picked out together by being gross!” Laura yells.

 

“Forget it.  You’re right.  We shouldn’t talk about this right now.”  Carmilla stands up. “ I’m gonna take a shower.  I smell like the basement of an abattoir. ”

“ Terrific!” Laura shouts as Carmilla walks away.  “See if you can scrape all of your hair out of the shower drain while you’re at it!”

“Fine!” Carmilla yells behind her.

“Fine!” she hears Laura scream back.

 

Carmilla walks away and Laura feels the tiredness and stress seep into her bones.  She lets out one long sob, and then another. She thought itd feel better to have Carmilla back, but now it just reminded her of everything she’d been holding in.

 

She hears Carmilla walk back towards her.

Laura quickly wipes her face, fooling no one.  “Carm. I really can’t handle a stupid fight about a coffee table right now,” she says, her voice raspy.

“I’m so sorry, Laura,” Carmilla says gently.  She puts the card down next to Laura and swallows hard.  She’d started writing a “get well soon” card for her father but it seemed like such an empty gesture, like she should be doing more.

 

She felt as powerless as she did when she lost her mother.

 

“He’s gonna be okay, okay?”

It was such a simple statement, but the words coming from Carmilla’s lips really did make Laura believe them.

Laura lets out a louder sob as Carmilla holds out her arms, and Laura buries her face in Carmilla’s shoulder, crying harder.

“I can’t lose him too,” Laura manages to gasp out.

“I know,” Carmilla says soothingly.

She lets Laura cry for a while, until she feels her calm down and her breathing slowly return to normal.

 

“We can leave the coffee table where it is,” Carmilla whispers.

Laura lets out a sobbed laugh.  “You’re a mess. But you’re my mess.”

 

* * *

 

**Late July 2018**

 

Carmilla had just traveled away again, and even though Sherman is now recovered enough to almost be discharged from the hospital, there were still those bills, and upcoming bills from his physical therapy, on top of their regular bills.

 

Sherman insists he didn’t need help with them, but Laura had found out that in early 1999, he’d had a health scare and hidden it from her because they’d just lost her mother, and the extra doctor visits were why he wasn’t always around for her.  While she never outright resented him, she’d definitely felt like he abandoned her to her grief at a young age.

Laura also found a box while looking for these medical records that showed that Sherman lost his job in 2000 and had to work two low-paying jobs to make ends meet.  She never knew that’s why he wasn’t home to help her with her homework, or have dinner with her.

So she figured that her helping him was the least she could do.

 

And taking on Carmilla’s shifts in addition to her freelance investigative reporting on the Goat Kidnapper case is also the least she could do.

But the combined stress turn out to be more than she could handle.  And one day, in the middle of running out to take on a shift at the library, Laura feels a sharp pain in her chest.

It takes a while before Mattie comes looking for her, and by the time they find her and get her to the hospital and stabilize her from her stroke, she needs to agree to valve replacement surgery.

 

Laura gives her consent to the procedure and her friends rally around her to offer as much support as possible.

She asks for them to bring her the pillow Carmilla uses- a fluffy yellow one.  When she hugs it, the comforting smell of sandalwood engulfs her and she feels strong enough to go into the surgery.

When she wakes up, it’s the first scent that hits her nose.

 

She recovers quickly and without issue, and is discharged with a plan in place.  If Carmilla doesn’t return soon, she’ll stay with Danny for a week, then LaFontaine and Perry the next, then Kirsch and SJ the week after.  Sherman had volunteered, but Laura pointed out he was recovering himself.

Unfortunately, the week after she stays Kirsch and SJ, they have a trip planned, and the others are also otherwise preoccupied.  In a shocking development, Mattie offers to watch after Laura for the rest of her recovery period.

 

After the first few days, Laura asks Mattie why she volunteered for this.

“If you’re alone and choke on a blood thinner before Carmilla comes back, she’ll never forgive me,” Mattie quips.  “But we also know you’re too strong to die from something so stupid,” she adds in a moment of rare sincerity.

Towards the end of her stay, Laura finds an unused photo album and marvels that it looks like the one her parents used to have.  Mattie makes a mental note to clean the dust off it.

 

Life returns back to some semblance of normalcy for Laura, who promises Sherman and her friends-- now including a grudging Mattie-- that she’ll tell Carmilla all about their generosity when she returns.

 

* * *

 

**October 2018**

 

“Oof!” Laura exclaims when she accidentally walks right into Carmilla.  She grabs her chest and lets out a wheeze before she lets out a happy gasp.  “Carm!”

Carmilla winces, still adjusting after traveling.

Laura surges forward and hugs Carmilla.  She quickly pulls away. “Oh! Are you hurt?  I’m sorry I hugged you and that you’re hurt-- It’s just...”

Her voice trails off and Carmilla frowns, finally focusing on Laura’s face.  “No, I’m fine. But… Your hair… It’s… longer.” Her frown deepens. “Laura, how long have I been gone?” she asks softly, horrified. 

Laura chews her lip.  “A few… weeks. Plus a month and a half...”  She points at the decorations in the window. “Happy almost-Halloween?” she offers weakly.

Carmilla stares at her in shock, clearly not expecting to have been gone for two and a half months.

 

“Whoa, whoa,” Laura rushes out when Carmilla’s knees give way. She manages to catch her and hold her up.  “Sit down, okay?” She helps Carmilla to the couch. “I’ll get you some clothes.” She stops short on her way to the bedroom, realizing how it might’ve come out that she didn’t leave the usual pile around.  “I, uh, left them out for a couple weeks but then when I was carving the pumpkins with our friends I didn’t want them to get messed up.”

Carmilla doesn’t respond beyond a small understanding smile and waits for Laura to return with clothes.

 

“I’m sorry,” Carmilla says.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Carm,” Laura says sincerely.

Carmilla doesn’t seem so convinced but doesn’t continue harping on it.  “How’s your dad?”

“He’s been out of the hospital and recovering nicely,” Laura replies, bringing over two mugs of hot chocolate.

“That’s great,” Carmilla replies, relieved.

Laura gives her a kiss on the top of her head and goes back into the kitchen and brings out a plate of cupcakes.

Carmilla takes a few sips of the hot chocolate and a couple bites of a fluffy cupcake.  Laura is eating her own, trying to decide on the best way to tell Carmilla what she’s missed in the past couple months.  By the time she works up the nerve, she looks up to find that Carmilla’s eyebrows are furrowed in thought and realizes she hasn’t spoken for a while.

 

“You okay?” Laura finally asks, worried.

Carmilla lets out a long sigh.  “We can’t keep doing this.”

 

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Wh-What?”

Carmilla turns, realizing in horror how her statement sounded.  “Wait, no-- I don’t mean break up or anything like that.”

Laura huffs and lightly smacks Carmilla.  “Lead with that next time.”

Carmilla chuckles softly before her expression turns grave again.

 

“But we can’t keep… pretending like my condition isn’t affecting you-- isn’t affecting  _ us _ ,” Carmilla says.  “I know you’ve always said you don’t mind waiting.  But it’s not just the waiting. It’s the fact that life is going to get harder and harder and I’m around for less and less of it with you.”  She swallows hard. “You remember my first birthday we spent together? In your apartment when I found the recordings of your past and my future?”

Laura nods.   _ Life is definitely getting harder and harder... _

“When Mattie and I were alone, she said to me that I’ve never known what it’s like to have to wait for someone to reappear in a void they’ve disappeared from because they traveled.  And I don’t know what it’s like to have to wonder for hours, or days, or weeks… months and…” Carmilla sighs. “Years… and wonder when they’ll come back.”

“So?” Laura asks.  “I don’t know what it’s like to travel through time and space.”

 

“But you’re the one stuck here, maybe not waiting, but wondering.  And you’re gonna keep living your life and doing things and... Our lives are progressing and I’m not even around for it. What if something big happens to you while I’m gone?”

Laura swallows hard.  “Carm--”

“ What about our life together?  Our future?  You’re just gonna give up on that?” Carmilla asks.

Laura furrows her eyebrows together.  “ Carm, I’m not giving up on our--  ”

“ Coz we’re supposed to have arguments over who does dishes, and cupcakes to celebrate big days at work, and grandkids.  What is that gonna look like if at any moment you look over and all you see is a pile of clothes with no idea when I’ll be back? ”

Laura blinks at that and swallows hard.  Her eyes well up. Suddenly, her very close brush with death that she’d been ignoring feels like a weight on her chest.

 

**“** You think I don’t want those things, too? **”** Laura asks, her voice cracking.

“Please don’t give up on our life,” Carmilla whispers with a sniffle.  “We promised we’d do this together and I want us to do it together.” She’s started to cry as well.  “What if, far in our future, I come back one day and you’re gone?”

 

_ I can’t tell her now. _   Clearly the shock of coming back and being gone for so long was affecting Carmilla a lot and telling her that she  _ did _ almost come back to Laura being gone might be too much for her right now.  And Laura was in no state herself to handle both of their panicking over her mortality.

 

Laura’s expression softens.  “Hey…” She wipes her own tears and opens her arms.  “Come here.”

Carmilla leans against her and they both let out a small shaky breath together.  ”I’ll still be here. Okay?  I’ll still be here.” Laura squeezes her closer. “We’re gonna get your life back, okay?  And all those things we want, every single part we’re supposed to share in our long timelines together-- we’re gonna have them all.”

“But how?” Carmilla asks, her voice small.  “I feel like every time I come back, something changes and I’m gonna miss everything.  Like I’m a ghost.”

 

“I’m not giving up,” Laura says firmly.  “But like you said, this isn’t fair-- to either of us.  And… we can’t keep running away. We can’t keep pretending everything is fine and normal.  Not when the world keeps spinning way too fast even when you’re gone.”

“I even missed the last iPhone reveal,” Carmilla jokes with a sob.  “Even science isn’t waiting for me.”

 

Laura’s eyes light up.

“What?” Carmilla asks, knowing that look all too well.

“That’s it.  Science!”

Carmilla frowns, dabbing at her tears.  “You left me behind at the last station in this train of thought, cutie.”

 

Laura pats Carmilla on the arm excitedly.  “So a few weeks ago, LaFontaine started working at a new lab...  Where the bosses are still waiting to either find a project for them or for them to find their own project… on genetic conditions.”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.

“If you got  Chrono-Impairment from your dad, and Mattie got Chrono-Impairment from her dad-- it’s genetic! ” Laura surmises.  “Maybe it’s something they could look into!”

Carmilla nods, following Laura’s logic.  “It’s worth a shot.”

 

 

* * *

 

“Where did you guys even get the term ’Chrono-Impairment’ from, anyway?” LaFontaine asks, holding a notepad in their office.

Laura had already told all her friends that she’d hold off on telling Carmilla about the entire stroke-and-heart-surgery situation for a bit.

 

“I heard it from Carm while I was growing up,” she explains.

Carmilla laughs softly.  “I heard it from Laura once I met her.”  She shrugs. “Didn’t have a name for it before then.”

“So it’s a case of ‘the chicken or the egg,’” LaF notes.  “Interesting.”

They tap their pen on the table a few times, pensive.

 

“Well.  We can run some tests.  Look for genetic markers.  And maybe if you have something of your dad’s?”

“Out of luck there,” Carmilla mumbles.

Laura clears her throat.  “Uhm. Well...”

Carmilla and LaFontaine give her an expectant look.

“Didn’t you tell me once that the first time you traveled, a Future You explained what was going on?” Laura says carefully.  “A Future You who had traveled to the car crash…?”

Carmilla lets out a long sigh.  “You’re right. And I haven’t done that yet.  So...” She grits her teeth. “Joy. Can’t wait for that travel adventure.”

 

“Okay, so when you travel back to meet Past You during... your first trip,” LaF says delicately, “I need you to find a way to safely hide a sample of his DNA.”

“Sure, no problem at all,” Carmilla comments sarcastically.

LaF and Laura share a look.  “It’s for science!” LaF declares.

Laura offers Carmilla a warm smile.  “It’s for us.”

Carmilla looks into her loving eyes and smiles.  “For us.”

 

Laura would just wait until after Carmilla completes that trip before telling her about the entire situation.  She had enough to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	23. The Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla's disappearance right before a big day leaves Laura stranded-- until someone else shows up to save the day and make it a little more easy and fun.

**December 2018**

  
  


Married life had  _ not _ changed Carmilla’s sleeping habits and they were approaching late morning when Laura goes to see if she needed to wake her up for a big day.  She shuts off the stove and sets the cooked breakfast aside to cool, before heading to the bedroom and lingering in the doorway.

She still hadn’t told Carmilla yet about her health scare, but Carmilla was either still traveling frequently, and stressed when she came back because the tests LaFontaine was running on her weren’t yielding many conclusive results.  As long as Laura kept up with her medication to manage her condition, there didn’t seem to be a need to worry Carmilla.

But Carmilla slept, she looked absolutely at peace and relaxed, and Laura really doesn’t want to disturb that serenity.

Luckily, she doesn’t have to.  Carmilla stirs a bit and lets out a yawn.

 

“Good morning,” Laura whispers beside her.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Were you just watching me sleep?” she asks without rolling over, her voice raspy from sleep.

Laura grins and climbs back into bed to kiss her on the cheek, propped up on her side by one arm.  “Maybe.”

“Creeper,” Carmilla teases as she turns to face Laura, making Laura laugh.  “And what if the food burned?” she asks, lazily slinging an arm over Laura’s side.

“Then I guess we’d have to have sandwiches and cupcakes,” Laura teases, giving Carmilla a peck on her nose.

 

Carmilla scrunches up her face and sits up, stretching with another yawn.

“Glad you’re well-rested,” Laura comments, rolling off the bed. She heads for the door. “And you’ll be well-fed.  Coz we have quite the day ahead of us.”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “Oh, shit.”

Laura turns with a frown.  “Wha--”

She’s faced with a pile of clothes on the bed.  And no Carmilla.

Laura buries her face in her hands.  “Oh _ shit _ .”

 

* * *

 

“I thought you were both supposed to be here today?” SJ says from inside.  “Buying a house is a pretty big deal. Surely you need her insight?”

“She’s traveling.  Emergency,” Laura replies as smoothly as possible.

SJ clicks her tongue.  “Well, we can reschedule.  She really should be here--”

There’s a loud commotion of someone bursting into the house behind Laura.  “--And here I am!” they shout out breathlessly.

 

Laura stares at their new guest and frowns in confusion.

“Hi, Carmilla.  Glad you could join us in spite of your... emergency trip,” SJ says slowly.  “So, we’ve just completed a tour of the house, but we can do another--”

“This isn’t it,” she interrupts.  “This isn’t our home.”

SJ cocks her head to the side, perplexed.  “You don’t even want to--?”

“Nope,” she interrupts.  “Lemme see the itinerary for today.”

 

Laura gives SJ a polite smile and gently tugs her away by the elbow.  “Can we have just one moment, SJ? Thanks.”

In the next room, Laura finally releases her.

“What year are you from?” she asks in a whisper.

Future Carmilla chuckles.  “2020. How’d you know?”

“There is no way your hair grew that quickly from when I saw you this morning,” Laura says.

“I will always love Laura Hollis deductions,” Future Carmilla comments, making Laura giggle. “Anyway, I’m here to help you find our home.  Or at least, that’s what happened in my timeline. And it’s a pretty amazing home, if I do say so myself. So why mess with that?”

Laura crosses her arms.  “Kinda takes the fun out of house hunting together.”  Even though this Carmilla seems okay with it, she didn’t want her Present Carmilla to be hurt she missed something  _ else _ big in their lives.

Future Carmilla pats Past Laura on the arm.  “We’ll get our kicks some other way, buttercup.”

 

She leads Laura back to SJ.

“Itinerary, please,” Future Carmilla requests.

SJ looks inquisitively over at Laura, who nods, so she hands it over.

Future Carmilla scans the list before smiling at Laura. “Well, cutie, you got your wish.  We still get the fun of house hunting together.” She hands the list back to SJ. “Do we have time for another quick tour of this house?”

  
  


“This house looks so pretentious that it’d just be rented out by bunch of philosophy grad students,” Future Carmilla remarks, flopped down on a chaise as Laura walks by, exploring the second floor.

“Are you sure this isn’t the house, then?  Sounds perfect for you,” Laura jokes.

Future Carmilla chuckles.  “Definitely not it. Cross my heart.”  She pats the seat beside her and shimmies over so Laura can fit next to her.  “This chaise is nice, though.”

Laura hums, snuggling into Future Carmilla’s side.  “Think we can buy just the chaise?”

“Something tells me we can,” Future Carmilla replies.

  
  


“Okay, come on! There’s a  _ solarium _ ! This  _ has _ to be it,” Laura declares.

Future Carmilla watches in amusement as Laura bunches up her face in frustration.

“Sorry to say, but it’s not the house,” Future Carmilla replies.

Laura crosses her arms and narrows her eyes in a suspicious glare.  “How do I know you’re really from the future to help me pick our home?  And not from the future to annoy the crap out of me?”

“I annoy the crap out of you regardless of what year we’re in,” Future Carmilla points out.

“There’s even a  _ wine cellar _ ,” Laura laments.

Future Carmilla laughs.  “Do you want a little grape with that whine?”

Laura lets out a loud exasperated sigh and stomps towards the front door.  “ANNOYING!”

 

* * *

 

Future Carmilla watches as Laura steps into the next showing.  By now, it’s late afternoon. SJ looks worse for the wear. And so does Laura.

But as soon as she steps through the foyer, her eyes light up.  She turns to face a smug Future Carmilla.

“I-Is this…?”

Future Carmilla nods.  She walks past Laura and leads her into the living room.  “This is where we’ll have your annoying friends over. And your dad and Mattie.”  She gestures at a large space. “This will be the couch. And the ottoman.”

Laura steps towards the area, easily envisioning all of their friends lounging around and chatting, while Carmilla offers grumpy commentary on the side.

“And a coffee table.  But no feet will be put up on it.”  She winks. “Not when you’re around, anyway.”

Laura chuckles.

 

Future Carmilla leads her into the kitchen.  “This will be where we make batches and batches of cookies.  And you’ll make me coffee. And I’ll make you hot cocoa.”

She relishes the way Laura’s eyes are twinkling at the image in her mind.

“This is where we’ll have our lovely meals,” Future Carmilla continues gently as they step into the dining room.  “Where Kirsch will eat more sandwiches and chalupas than any human should be able to consume. And Mattie will probably guzzle down an entire vineyard’s worth of wine.  And where we’ll have holiday dinners with everyone, and regular dinners after work or relaxed weekend brunches for just the two of us.”

 

They head upstairs.

“Here’s where we’ll hold each other in bed as we drift off to sleep, talking about everything and nothing,” Future Carmilla says softly.  She leads Laura onto a small balcony. “And here...”

Laura admires the view.  It oversees a small yard and in the distance is a park.

“Here is where we’ll spend nights under the stars.  You’ll quietly work on compiling notes on your crazy dangerous stories and I’ll read my books.  We’ll have that large chaise where we can cuddle up by each other’s side and just… be.”

Laura’s breath catches in her throat.

Future Carmilla gives her a smug, pointed look.  “So, unless you wanna go trade all that in for a wine cellar or a solarium or that prissy grad school look...”

Laura shakes her head and laughs.  “Carm. I love this house. I love  _ you _ .”

 

SJ clears her throat as she slowly steps into the bedroom.

“Great timing, actually.  We couldn’t see it any earlier today because the owners only left about an hour before we came.”

Future Carmilla tugs Laura closer so she can whisper.  “And that’s why we could see the other places first. I saw the address but it was unavailable for showing first.”

SJ is busy flipping through some paperwork to hand to them.  “It is  _ slightly _ out of your price range...”

Laura deflates as she looks at the lowest offer.

 

“Mind stepping away again?” Future Carmilla asks to SJ, who obliges.

 

“Carm, there’s no way we can afford this,” Laura frets.  “I mean, we can do the down payment, but the subsequent payments...”

Future Carmilla tucks a strand of hair behind Laura’s ear.  “Money will be tight for a while, yeah. But we’ll be able to make all the payments. You and I are both gonna bring in more money as time goes on. At least over the new few years. I promise. Trust me, okay?”

Laura lets out a long exhale and looks around them.  Looks out the balcony. And looks back at Future Carmilla, into her loving eyes.  And she confirms what she knew as soon as she stepped through the doors. This was their home.

“Okay.”

 

Future Carmilla nods, as if to offer more security in this decision.  “We’re home, Laura.”

Laura smiles and squeals.  “We’re home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	24. The Dimwit Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dealing with a Carmilla traveling to them from the past, Laura leaves during an argument, heading right into trouble. Carmilla has to turn to their friends to help save Laura.

**May 2019**

 

“Hey, Carm, have you seen the-- AH!” Laura yelps, grabbing her chest.

Carmilla comes running in, worried.  “Laura? What is i--” She jumps as she finds what surprised her.  “Oh.”

Past Carmilla turns, confused and naked.  “Uhm. Hi.”

“April 2017, huh?” Carmilla asks, amused.  “Had a little trip to see our creampuff back in November 2001?”

Past Carmilla nods, still slightly disoriented.  Laura leaves the room and returns with some clothes for her, which she takes gratefully.

“Oh, isn’t that when I gave you that note telling you to propose to me?” Laura laughs at the memory, which seems even more bizarre now.  

“Yep,” Past Carmilla replies.  “Every time I think our lives and timelines can’t get any more bizarre...”

“Tell me about it,” Laura comments.  “The last time a Further Past You popped up, we’d just had our first kiss.  You had told me to freak Past You out so we’d have that heart to heart in the park, and I honestly think she peed herself a little in our living room.”

Carmilla chuckles and leaves, coming back into the dining room with three mugs of hot cocoa.  “What were you calling me for?” she asks Laura.

 

“Oh, I was wondering if you’ve seen my latest notepad for the whole Goat Kidnapping case,” Laura replies, taking a sip.

“You left it out on the bedroom balcony when you were working last night, babe,” Carmilla replies.

Laura’s eyes widen.  “Oh! Right.”

Past Carmilla is fully dressed and walking around the house now, taking it all in.  They give her some space, watching in amusement.

“Wanna see the upstairs, too?” Laura asks when Past Carmilla seems to have done her full tour downstairs.

“Sure,” Past Carmilla says, drinking her hot chocolate.

Laura and Carmilla take her upstairs and Laura grabs her notepad from her chair on the balcony.

 

“So, someone’s kidnapping goats?” Past Carmilla asks, looking out of the balcony.

Laura laughs.  “No. It’s some creep wearing a goat mask who’s been taking girls for years. I made a pun about it to my boss and she made me say it on air and ever since then the public ran with it.”  She sighs. “Recently he’s started physically harming his victims. I think he’s getting restless and is about to slip up.”

Her eyes widen.

“Oh, well now I see why you were so freaked out by how dangerous it was for me to pursue this,” she says to Carmilla.

Carmilla gives her a pointed look.  “Uh huh.” She looks at her past self.  “Let’s not bombard her with our problems, shall we?  This gal has a proposal to plan.”

Past Carmilla gulps.  “Yeah, so I… I guess I did actually propose?  Or did we not get married and just moved into a house together?”

 

“Oh, there was a proposal, alright,” Laura laughs and walks back to the bedroom, heading for the cardboard box with the old photo album and videos.

She opens it and roots around before pulling out a sheet of paper.

“ “ _ Hi, Past Me.  I know we’ve taken a firm stance against spoilers in the past.  But every iteration of us have all seemed to agree that this one little spoiler is fine, because it’ll give us the nudge we need.  Propose. _ _ Propose, but do it when it feels right.  You’re gonna need to go back to the bookshare and find a copy of  _ Worthy of Trust and Confidence, _ by Kara A. McLeod _ .   _ Pretty sure you can figure out what to do from there.  It’s what we’ve always done and what we’ll always do because, no matter where or when, this is the only person who will always be your home.  She’ll always be your reason to stay. She’ll always be the place you travel back to. We’ve known that, we’ve always known that. _ _ You’re scared reading this.  You’re gonna be scared doing it, too.  But she’ll be there for you, as she always is, to build you up and show you how strong you can be.  So… Propose. Yours, Future You. _ ”

“I still think it’s amazing you kept that,” Carmilla comments.

“Yeah, well, I figured Future You was gonna need it coz there was no way either of us were gonna remember the name of this book,” Laura says to her before turning to face Past Carmilla.  “When you go back to prep for the proposal, it’ll be in this box for you to refer to, okay?”

Carmilla lightly nudges her.  “Always looking out for me.”

“What would you do without me?” Laura teases.

“Here’s hoping I never find out,” both Carmilla and Past Carmilla say.

 

Carmilla laughs and looks at her past self.  “As far as we know, this is how every iteration of us has gotten engaged.  Who knows what difference that book we picked on our first date made to make your relationship special from mine, but it’s kinda comforting to know there will always be that one thing that ties us all together, right?  Although where you decide to put the book is all up to you.”

Past Carmilla nods hesitantly.

Laura steps forward and places a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  “You got this, okay? Just speak from your heart. The rest will follow.  I promise.”

With an endearingly loving smile from Laura, Past Carmilla visibly relaxes and lets out a long sigh of relief, handing her mug of hot chocolate to her future self.  “Thank you, Laura.”

With that, she vanishes from sight.

 

“You’re adorable when you’re nervous,” Laura giggles, returning to poring over her notes.

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  “I am  _ not _ .”

“Are, too,” Laura taunts, flipping through her notes.

 

It takes a while before Laura realizes the air of playfulness is gone and she glances up to find Carmilla’s eyebrows furrowed together as she looks at her in concern.

“What?”

“It may not have been blatantly dangerous for you to be working on this case when I proposed,” she says carefully, “but it’s definitely getting dangerous now.”

Laura frowns.  “Carm, I’m so close.  I can feel it. I’m not gonna stop chasing this just because it’s dangerous.”  She huffs. “I mean, all the women taken have been in our area. Either passing through or live here.  And until the last couple women showed up bleeding, the cops were just gonna let it go. I’m not gonna be like everyone else and just stand by while it escalates.”

“It’s not your job to  _ chase after this guy _ ,” Carmilla grumbles.  “It  _ is _ your job to report the story.”

“Yeah, report it as it  _ unfolds _ ,” Laura snaps.  “That’s not good enough here.  Someone has to  _ do _ something.”

Carmilla crosses her arms.  “And why does that someone have to be you?”

Laura cocks her head to the side.  “Who else would it be?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Carmilla growls exasperatedly, “I don’t want to travel back here one day and find out you’re one of his victims!”

Laura clenches her jaw.  She still hasn’t told Carmilla about her health scare.

“You  _ just _ disappeared for a week and a half, Carm.  My life doesn’t just stop happening when you’re not around.”

Carmilla opens her mouth, but Laura cuts her off.

“And you sure as hell don’t get to dictate what I do with my life when you’re not around.”

Carmilla scoffs.  “You can’t run head first into danger just because you’re bored I’m not around!”

Laura’s nostrils flare, but she doesn’t say anything.  This is not the time to tell her.

 

Carmilla phone chimes and she looks down at the screen, seeing a reminder to leave to go to LaFontaine’s lab.

Laura stands up, fists clenched, but her voice even and calm.  “I’m doing this because I can’t sit around knowing girls are in danger or are getting hurt and no one is doing a damn thing to help them.  It has nothing to do with  _ you _ disappearing.  It has to do with  _ my _ life.  Our whole relationship has revolved around yours-- when you travel back to see me, when you leave me, when you travel away from me-- and just for once, I’d like it to be about me and what  _ I _ need to do.”

Carmilla stares at her, feeling the truth sting in Laura’s words.  She swallows hard. “Laura, I--”

Laura stands up, her knuckles white as she clutches her notepad.  “Just… go to see LaFontaine,” she sighs. “We can talk about this later.”

Laura leaves and slams the front door closed.

 

She starts heading to the library, her notes safely tucked into her bag.  Having spent quite some time triangulating where all the kidnappings have been reported, Laura then looked up all owners of cars matching the description given by the victims.  The first three had alibis that checked out, so now she was going after the fourth name on the list-- William Luce, manager of the book store in their neighborhood.

A perfect place to scope out victims-- women who lived nearby, and women passing through.

 

She opens the door and walks up to the cashier.  “Hi, Natalie,” Laura says, recognizing her former classmate.  “Is your boss Will here?”

“I’m sure Natalie can help out with your query,” a voice says from behind Laura.

Laura turns.  “Doubt it.” She pulls out her notepad, already flipped to a blank page, away from her notes.  “So, a paper has me doing a survey about traffic safety for data in this area. They’re compiling it into one big report for the city,” she says smoothly.  “Mind answering some questions?”

Will crosses his arms.  “Why me? Why  _ not _ Natalie?”

“Do you drive an azurite black metallic BMW M3?  That’s a factor in the survey,” Laura says.

“I do,” Will answers carefully.

“Do you live in the area?”

“No,” he replies.  Natalie gives him an odd look, but Laura doesn’t react.

Laura rattles off some dates, which have now been committed to memory.  “Were you in the area on these days?”

He stares at her in silence.

“They’re monitoring specific traffic patterns for this car during certain times,” Laura explains.

“No,” he answers.

Laura maintains a neutral expression, even though she sees Natalie furrow her eyebrows together behind him.

“Okay.  Thanks,” Laura says.  She’d ask for alibis but she doubts she’d get it from him in a public setting like this.  Her spidey senses were tingling and even she knew this was too dangerous to keep pushing without a plan or backup.  “I’ll report back to the paper.”

Will hums and she leaves.  

 

Deciding she needs some fresh air, Laura heads to the park and walks around aimlessly for a bit.

She knows she shouldn’t have gotten  _ that _ upset at Carmilla.  She was just trying to protect Laura, and she couldn’t fault Carmilla for that.

_ Maybe holding onto this secret is bothering me and hurting us more than I realized _ , Laura thinks.   _ Maybe I  _ should _ tell her _ .

 

With that revelation, Laura heads back home and checks the time.  Carmilla should be done with the invasive part of the appointment by now.  She calls her, and feels her heart sink a bit when it rings until it goes to voicemail.

 

She takes a deep breath.

“Uh. Hi. Carm.  I guess you’re ignoring me, since you should be done with the invasive blood-taking part of LaFontaine’s appointment.  Which… is fair. I shouldn’t have stormed off on you like that. It’s not like I’m a kid anymore. We’re adults and should be talking things through.  So I just wanted to apologize for that. And I know how you are and just wanted to say I’m not mad at you for traveling. I don’t think I ever could be.  But I know you’re probably mad at yourself and I’m sorry if I invalidated how you’re feeling _. _ ”

Laura pauses as she pulls out the keys to the house to unlock the door.

“Anyway, the other reason I left was I had a lead and wanted to catch the guy before his shift ended at the bookstore.  But I’m back now, so whenever you want to talk—no rush--”

 

She opens the door and is completely unprepared when she sees someone standing in the house.  Their front window had been shattered from the outside in, and she was too busy on the phone to have even noticed.  She drops her keys with a yelp and immediately lowers the phone, out of sight.

He turns and she feels her blood run cold.  It’s Will from the bookstore.

_ Think fast.  Think  _ smart _ , Hollis.   _ “Uh.  Hi. W…What are you doing here?” Laura stammers nervously.  “Will, you _ — _ "

 

He charges forward and she reaches her arm out instinctively.  But hurting her wasn’t her intention-- grabbing her phone is. He manages to wrestle it from her and throw it on the phone.

”You’re gonna regret that.”

 

* * *

 

Laura blinks as her vision clears.  She had fought Will off the best to her ability, but he was faster and stronger and had quickly turned the tables after picking up a small black panther state and hitting her with it.

Now she had no idea where she was.

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Will sneers.

It takes her a moment to register that she’s been gagged and is tied to the chair by her wrists and ankles.  And her top is also apparently gone.

He pulls out a small, thin knife.

“Lophiiformes the Ancient Fish God demands sacrifices to keep the gates of Hell closed,” he says, his voice eerily even.  “You should be honored.”

Before she even has a moment to process that, he slowly draws the sharp blade across her abdomen.  She grits her teeth against the rag in her mouth.

 

This continues for several more cuts, and it isn’t until a few slashes in before she can’t keep the pained cries from coming out.  Will grins devilishly with satisfaction and she hates that she put that on his face.

“Be prepared to be sacrificed,” he hisses.

 

Suddenly, there’s a loud knocking on the door.

“Fuck,” he curses.  He puts the knife down and holds a finger up to his lips, making a long shushing sound.

 

He disappears up the stairs and Laura hears a lock clicking in place.

She wriggles frantically against her bonds, ignoring them cutting into her skin.  After some futile efforts, she hears the lock click again, and the door opens.

Preparing herself for a second round, she could actually cry with happiness with the sight before her.

 

_ Carmilla _ .

 

Carmilla looks horrified for a moment before she rushes over to her, removing the gag and pulling out a small knife to start cutting away at the ropes.

“How?” Laura asks, her voice raspy.

“LaFontaine and Perry are upstairs distracting him,” she whispers.  _ That must be who knocked on the door. _ Carmilla manages to get through the rope around Laura’s ankles.

Laura winces when the next sawing motion makes the rope dig into her wrists.

“Sorry,” Carmilla apologizes softly.  “Hell… I’m sorry about everything.”

Before Laura can reply, there’s some loud thumping noises upstairs and both of their eyes widen.

“Free now, talk later,” Laura says in a hushed voice.  “Don’t worry about being gentle.”

Carmilla grits her teeth as she cuts faster and sees a small stream of blood form near Laura’s wrist.  She manages to get through all the rope and helps Laura off the chair. Laura’s knees give out, but she forces herself into a standing position, leaning a bit on Carmilla.

 

They carefully make it up the stairs, with Carmilla going in front at the top step, pressing her ear against the door.

“I don’t hear anything,” Laura whispers.

“That’s what’s bothering me,” Carmilla replies.  “I don’t hear Danny and Kirsch distracti--”

A shadow appears in the space under the door and Laura tugs Carmilla back as they head down the staircase quietly.

 

The lock clicks and the door swings open.

“Your friends thought they could do some half-baked rescue mission,” Will says as he begins descending the stairs.  “Dunno what their plan was. Don’t care. Locked them in a closet and I’ll deal with them later.”

He pauses at the bottom, seeing the empty chair.

“How the f--”

Carmilla lunges forward from the darkness from beneath the staircase, the ropes in her hands, and manages to wrap them around his ankles.  With a hard tug, she sweeps his feet out from under him and he lands face-down with a loud grunt. He growls and starts to push himself up, but Laura rushes over and delivers a swift, sharp kick to his face.

With a grunt, Will collapses forwards, eyes closed.

Laura leans on the stair railing, trying to catch her breath.  “W-We need to go. I couldn’t put all my oomph behind that kick.”

 

Carmilla nods, scrambling to her feet and helping Laura back up the stairs.  “There’s a closet in the kitchen,” she comments. They close the door behind them, unable to find the lock that was originally on it.  

After heading over and removing a chair propped up against the closet doorknob, the door flies open and LaFontaine and Perry almost collide right into Laura, who is pulled back and supported by Carmilla.

“Oh,  _ shit _ ,” LaFontaine hisses, seeing the cuts on Laura.

“Yeah,” Laura says.  “Can you  _ believe _ the bookstore manager prays to some ancient fish god named Lophiiformes and has been practicing to sacrifice young girls to it to keep the gates of Hell closed?”

Perry frowns at her.  “That doesn’t seem like a very practical security system for Hell.”

 

There’s a loud  _ bang, _ followed by retreating footsteps, and they all jump.

“The back door,” Carmilla realizes.

Laura starts to run after Will, but Carmilla lightly grabs her by the arm.  “No need to strain yourself running, sundance.” When Laura raises an inquisitive eyebrow, Carmilla smirks.  “You didn’t think the rescue party was just the three of us, did you?”

 

The group walks briskly, only to find an entirely unconscious Will sprawled out on the street.  A car is stopped right beside him, clearly having hit him.

Danny and Kirsch come running around the corner.

“We got your signal you saw Will,” Danny says breathlessly to the driver of the car, brandishing a baseball bat.

Kirsch wheezes out a breath.  “Although, y’know, when you’re done talking into the walkie talkie, you’re supposed to say, ‘over and out.’”

“Oh, damn, Hollis,” Danny says with concern at seeing Laura’s torso.  “Is this the creep in the goat mask who’s been hurting girls?”

Laura gives Danny a small hug, minding the baseball bat she’s holding.  “Yeah. Not even sure how the goat mask fits into it. Maybe it was the only one on sale that day.” She pauses.  “Wait, if you two are out here, then who’s in the car?”

 

The driver’s door opens and Mattie steps out.  She crosses her arms and leans against the car.

“Good to see you’re still alive, Hollis.”

“Oh my goodness!  Mattie?“ Laura gasps out in relief.  “Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah.  Let’s not make a big thing out of it. I said you probably didn’t even need our help, given how… capable you are. But we all know I can’t deny Carm when the little monster so much as pouts at me.”  She rolls her eyes. “Calling an ambulance, now. And the cops, I guess.”

Laura giggles and turns to face everyone.  “Thank you all so much.”

 

“Ah, it was nothing you wouldn’t have done for us,” LaFontaine says.  “Besides, like Mattie said, seeing Carmilla scared and upset is like, really frightening.”

Danny nods.  “Terrifying.”

“More than usual,” Kirsch adds.

Carmilla narrows her eyes at them all playfully.  “I was gonna award some points to the dimwit squad but now I’m having second thoughts.”

Laura laughs but then holds her stomach.  “Ow.”

 

The group tries their best not to make Laura laugh—in vain—and soon enough, cop cars come to collect Will from the street and to begin checking out his house.  Reporters begin showing up and snapping pictures as Laura’s has a preliminary checkout by an EMT. Carmilla helps Laura into the ambulance before getting in with her and closing the doors.

“So… we should talk,” Laura starts awkwardly, her voice low so the EMTs in the front don’t hear them.

“Ar… Are you sure you want to do this now?” Carmilla asks gently.  “You’ve just been… y’know, kidnapped and cut up.”

Laura shrugs.  “They’re just shallow cuts.  Plus, it’s a pretty long ride to the hospital during rush hour traffic.”  She grins. “Unless you’d rather talk about Rube Goldberg competitions? Coz those are a thing, you know, which is just very, very weird!”

 

Carmilla chuckles and shakes her head.

“If you want to talk… I want to promise I wasn’t ignoring you.  After my appointment. I-I threw my phone coz I was mad at myself and then I missed your call.  And when I yelled at you earlier, it was also because I was mad at myself. And you’ve been nothing but validating of my feelings.”  She sighs. “I didn’t mean to try and tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Cross my heart and hope t...”

Laura takes Carmilla’s hands in hers and presses a light kiss to them.  “I know, Carm. I know.”

“I thought I lost you today.  I was so scared. Like it was my dad all over again,” Carmilla sobs.

 

Laura feels her heart break and she pulls Carmilla in for a hug.  She feels Carmilla sniffle but relax in her arms.

“I promise, Carm… My next news story will be something light and fluffy.  Like, about displaced kittens or something.”

Carmilla lets out a sobbed laugh.  “With our luck, there’d be some shelter trying to sacrifice those kittens to some cult that worships puppies, or something.”

 


	25. The Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura sees how much Carmilla has grown.

**September 2019**

 

Carmilla had been gone for almost two months during this latest travel, but that didn’t really bother Laura.

 

After her exclusive article about the Goat Kidnapper, Laura’s name was a national household name.  Suddenly she was being asked left and right to be a guest writer for articles in publications, and also be the subject of articles being written about the case.

Laura realizes now why Future Carmilla was so insistent that they’d be able to afford this house.  Even without Carmilla’s shifts, the payments were no longer extremely difficult to fit into their budget.

 

She’s working on her latest article about the Fountain of Youth-- a new energy drink company that was being sued for “false advertising”-- when Carmilla reappears right where she’d left-- next to the fireplace.

 

“Hey!” Laura Hollis greets from the dining room table.

“Hey.”

Carmilla’s tone worries Laura, but she can’t quite place it.  It sounds more profoundly sad than she’s ever heard Carmilla, and extensively more exhausted.

Laura tosses a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants at her from across the room.  “When did you go this time?” she asks carefully.

“1995.”  Carmilla’s voice is flat and she’s clearly in shock

_ 1995 is when Carmilla’s dad died.  When Carmilla  _ watched _ her dad die, _ Laura realizes.

 

Her eyes widen and she gets up, walking slowly towards Carmilla.  “Oh, Carm. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, that was… odd,” Carmilla says, gesturing for Laura to sit down beside her on their couch.  “Which you know is saying something given… all the usual oddness.”

Laura silently opens her arms and Carmilla curls up against Laura, letting out a long sigh of relief.

 

“It sucked more than I thought it would. Me seeing Mini-Me have no idea what just happened, or that her dad’s dead.  Me trying to prepare her for the tough life ahead of her… How broken she’s gonna be when she finally meets you…”

“You weren’t  _ broken _ when you met me, Carm,” Laura insists softly, giving her a soft peck on the top of her head.

Carmilla chuckles dryly.  “You would think that, wouldn’t you?  You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.” She gives Laura a small grin and chuckle.  “Always seeing the best in me.”

 

“That just means the best is already there,” Laura says sweetly.  “You just needed a stubborn creampuff to show you where it is.”

“I’m serious,” Carmilla laughs softly.  “Seeing that frightened girl that I was… Knowing the crap she’s gonna have to face with her mother, and the time-traveling...  You saved me. You’re my hero.”

“And you’re mine,” Laura replies.

Carmilla smiles and as Laura gives her a long, deep kiss.  “So you’ve said.” She frowns. “How long was I gone this time?”

Laura shifts awkwardly.  “A couple… months…”

Carmilla’s eyes widen in horror and she swallows hard.  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, frustrated. “These stupid treatments aren’t doing anything.”

 

Laura giggles and gives her another peck on the lips.  “We’re gonna be okay, Carm. We’re gonna grow old in this nice ol’ house together.  It’s gonna be full of love and laughter. Time travel can’t do anything bad to us.”

Carmilla hums.  “Promise?”

Laura nods.  “Promise.”

 

The doorbell rings and Laura laughs when Carmilla rolls her eyes into the void before she gets up to answer it.  Laura looks out of the peephole before frowning and carefully opening the door.

“What do  _ you _ want?”

Lilita Morgan scoffs.  “Good day to you, too, dear.”

“It’s been two years and the last time I saw you, you called Carm and I weak for loving each other. And used a few other choice adjectives. Right before our wedding. So.  Excuse me if I skip the pleasantries,” Laura snaps.

 

“ _ Please tell me you didn’t send my mother another invite to our home without discussing it with me first, _ ” Carmilla’s voice laments from behind Laura.

“No, I learned my lesson last time.  She just... showed up,” Laura answers without taking her eyes off Lilita.

“Right, of course.”  Carmilla turns her attention to her mother with an insincere beaming smile.  “It’s been swell, mother, but I need you to go, now. We’ve got business to attend to.” 

 

Lilita crosses her arms.  “Look, I only came here to see how you and Laura were doing following the Goat Kidnapper abduction and torture. It only took me this long because I had no idea where you were living. No need for all this animosity.”

“I think this animosity is perfectly warranted and might even be on the light side,” Carmilla snarls.  “You didn’t know where we’re living for a reason.”

“But the concern is appreciated,” Laura adds politely before she notices something and looks over at Carmilla in concern.  “Oh, god, Carm! You’re still shivering. Sit by the fireplace.”

She ushers Carmilla back to the couch and throws a blanket around Carmilla, then runs off to the kitchen.

 

“I thought I heard through the grapevine that Laura’s college scientist friend was looking into your… condition,” Lilita comments, walking into the house and closing the door behind her.

“You’re still here?” Carmilla comments dryly.

 

Laura returns with a mug of hot cocoa for Carmilla.  “Here.” When she sees that Carmilla’s hands are still shaking, she holds the mug and a straw in place for her to sip from.

“Thanks, hon,” Carmilla sighs happily after feeling the warmth fill her body.  She manages to take the mug from Laura and rests it in her lap.

“Where did you pop off to this time?” Lilita asks.

Carmilla averts her gaze to her mug, staring into it intently.

Laura’s narrows her eyes at Lilita.  “She went to 1995.”

“Wait… but...”  Lilita looks over at Carmilla.

Carmilla gives a small, sad nod.

“Good lord,” Lilita exhales behind them, understanding the implication.  “You… You watched Samuel...”

 

“I was on the side of the road and didn’t know where or when I was,” Carmilla says, her voice small and scared.  She still won’t look at anyone. “I was collecting some of whatever I could find from someone who had left on their clothesline to dry when I saw the car skid on the road.  It didn’t even occur to me whose car it was when I ran over. And by the time I got there, Past Me had already traveled away, and dad was...”

Laura swallows hard.  “Oh, Carm...”

Carmilla clears her throat and sniffles as she puts her mug down on the coffee table.  “I used the window of time to get some of his… DNA on a small cloth and folded it and hid it in the dirt under some bushes before Past Me traveled back.”

Laura looks at her with sad eyes.  “Do you want me to hold you?” she asks.

Carmilla nods and dives forward into Laura’s open arms, sighing in content as Laura embraces her nice and tight.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Laura whispers, rubbing slow soothing circles on her back.  “At least it’s finally over and you won’t have to go back to that moment ever again.”

“And Franken-Ginger can use the sample to fix me,” Carmilla sighs.  “As much as they can, anyway.”

Laura buries a kiss in her hair.  “You don’t need fixing, Carm. You’re not broken and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need help, and there’s no shame in that.”

Carmilla lets out another sigh of content, mixed with relief.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Laura says softly.

 

“Well, this is becoming more and more awkward the longer I stand here,” Lilita notes, watching them both jump in surprise.

“You’re  _ still _ here?!” Carmilla yells.

Lilita scoffs.  “Honestly, it’s no wonder Laura ended up Kidnapped and sliced up like Christmas ham.  Your joint lack of awareness is downright concerning.”

 

Laura gently untangles herself from Carmilla and stands up to face her.  “Look, you said you came here to check up on us. You’ve done that. So you can go now instead of ridiculing and abusing Carmilla, especially when she’s this vulnerable.”

Lilita is silent at that, her jaw clenching a few times.  Finally, she lets out a long exhale. “Fine. That wasn’t the only reason I came here.”

“Then  _ why _ are you here?” Laura asks, exasperated.

Lilita clicks her tongue and seems annoyed with herself.  She walks around the couch, so she can see Carmilla as well.

 

“When the news report broke that you and your friends had caught the Kidnapper, a cameraman got a shot of the two of you getting into the back of an ambulance,” Lilita says to Laura before turning her attention to Carmilla.  “It was a haunting image in that it reminded me of a similar shot from the news report when the police found you and your father. And it hit me that in both of those instances, I wasn’t there for you in your life in any capacity. And when you needed me most, I wasn’t there.  And I should’ve been.”

“You’re just making a bunch of statements I already knew,” Carmilla states bluntly.

Lilita sighs and takes a step closer to Carmilla, pausing when Carmilla instinctively curls more into herself.  Laura subtly positions herself between them, protectively in front of Carmilla.

 

“Sweetheart,” Lilita tries again, her voice more gentle.  “Do you remember what I was like before I… before  _ we _ lost your father?”

Carmilla looks up at her but doesn’t reply.

“I don’t know what your memories are because you were so young,” Lilita continues.  “And even then, I was hardly ever around. I was always traveling. For work. The irony of being married to a time traveler who stayed at home more than I did was never lost on me.  But whatever time we did spend together during those years, were full of as much laughter and love as I could fit in between trips.”

“Wow, who thought the real reason you came here was to give us a  , verbal autobiography,” Carmilla comments dryly.

Laura quietly puts a hand on Carmilla’s and gives it a small squeeze.  Carmilla takes a deep breath.

“What is your point here, mother?”

 

“My point is, I have been a horrible mother and person in general since I lost my husband. He was my light, and was the love of my life.  After I lost him, it was like the light was gone. And in that darkness, I forgot that I wasn’t the only person who lost him. You lost him, too,” Lilita says softly.

Laura looks over at Carmilla, who looks shocked as tears form in her eyes.

“I forgot that you lost your father and instead I  _ blamed _ you for it. For all these years, I blamed you, and I had no right to. And I wouldn’t admit that to myself until I was... seeing you in the back of another emergency vehicle…”  Her voice cracks. “I am so, so sorry. I can’t lose you, too. And it shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize that.”

Carmilla squeezes Laura’s hand but still doesn’t speak.

 

“I don’t expect us to have any kind of normal mother-daughter relationship,” Lilita continues.  “I just want us to maybe have  _ a _ mother-daughter relationship.  Someday. When you’re ready.”

“It’s not that I haven’t been ready.”  Carmilla finally lets go of Laura’s hand and stands up, staring at her mother intently for a few seconds before speaking again.  “It’s…  I spent so much time hating you and being afraid of you that I just couldn’t see it.  Your broken heart. You didn’t just lose your love, but because of that love, you cut yourself off from ever feeling that kind of love again. ”  She swallows hard.  “Because you knew every time I traveled away, there was a chance I wasn’t coming back.  And you were afraid. And you hated feeling afraid.”

Lilita wipes at her dampening cheeks.

Carmilla sighs.  “ And fear and hatred twisted you into something you were never supposed to be.  Somewhere in all that anger and darkness, you lost all your hope, didn’t you? ”

 

“Your father and I never wanted this kind of life for you, my glittering girl.  This world is already cruel enough to women without hurling you around space and time and making you constantly afraid.”

“I’m not,” Carmilla says softly.  “I’m not afraid anymore.”

 

Lilita looks over at Laura.  “Because of her.”

Carmilla nods.  “She’s my home.”

“The home I never gave you,” Lilita admits, but not with bitterness.  “The home I’m sincerely glad that you found. Love doesn’t make either of you weak.  It makes you both strong. I just want you to be safe and loved, darling. I’m sorry I never offered you that.”

 

Carmilla lets out a long, shaky breath and looks back at Laura before slowly meeting her mother’s eyes.

“I can’t say I’m anywhere near forgiving you right now,” Carmilla says slowly.  “But I appreciate you taking this step and considering I just watched one of my parents die a second time, I’ll…  need some time and think about everything.”

 

Laura can’t even begin to express how proud she is of how much Carmilla has grown since she met her again.

This is a more secure Carmilla than Laura thought she’d ever see.

 

“I understand and that’s all I was asking,” Lilita says, her voice more warm than Carmilla swears she’s ever heard it.  With that, she finally walks out of their house.

 

Carmilla waits for the front door to close before she finally visibly relaxes.

Laura carefully walks up behind her and Carmilla turns, stepping into a hug all ready for her.

“I’m proud of you,” Laura whispers.

Carmilla sobs a laugh into Laura’s shoulder.  “Being mature and forgiving sucks.”

Laura chuckles and squeezes her tighter.  “I should probably go lock the door before she comes back in here and yells at us for our lack of awareness again.”

September 2019

 

“Hey!” Laura Hollis greets from the couch when she sees Carmilla reappear right where she’d left-- next to the fireplace.

“Hey.”

Laura tosses a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants at her from across the room.  “When did you go this time?”

“1995.”  Carmilla’s voice is flat and she’s clearly still in shock.

 

Laura’s eyes widen and she gets up, walking slowly towards her.  “Oh, Carm. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, that was… odd,” Carmilla says, gesturing for Laura to sit down beside her on their couch.  “Which you know is saying something given… everything.”

Laura opens her arms and Carmilla snuggles against Laura, letting out a long sigh and feeling the tension drain from her body.

 

“It sucked more than I thought it would. Seeing Mini-Me have no idea what just happened, or that her dad’s dead.  Trying to prepare her for the tough life ahead of her… How damaged she’s gonna be when she finally meets you…”

“You weren’t damaged when you met me, Carm,” Laura insists softly, brushing a strand of hair from Carmilla’s face.

Carmilla chuckles dryly.  “You would think that, wouldn’t you?  You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.” She gives Laura a small peck on the lips.  “Always seeing the best in me.”

 

“That just means the best is already there,” Laura says sweetly.  “You just need a stubborn creampuff to show you where it is.”

“I’m serious,” Carmilla laughs softly.  “Seeing that scared girl I was… Knowing the crap she’s gonna have to face with her mother, and the time-traveling.  You saved me. You’re my hero.”

“And you’re mine,” Laura replies.

Carmilla smiles and as Laura gives her a longer, deeper kiss this time.  “So you’ve said.” She frowns. “How long was I gone this time?”

Laura shifts awkwardly.  “A couple… months…”

Carmilla’s eyes widen in horror and she swallows hard.  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, frustrated. “These stupid treatments aren’t doing anything.”

 

Laura giggles and gives her another peck on the lips.  “We’re gonna be okay, Carm. We’re gonna grow old in this nice ol’ house together.  It’s gonna be full of love and laughter. Time travel can’t do anything bad to us.”

Carmilla hums.  “Promise?”

Laura nods.  “Promise.”

 

The doorbell rings and Laura laughs when Carmilla rolls her eyes into the void before she gets up to answer it.  Laura looks out of the peephole before frowning and carefully opening the door.

“What do you want?”

Lilita Morgan scoffs.  “Good day to you, too, dear.”

“It’s been two years and the last time I saw you, you called Carm and I weak for loving each other. And used a few other choice adjectives. Right before our wedding. So.  Excuse me if I skip the pleasantries,” Laura growls.

 

“Please tell me you didn’t send my mother another invite to our home without discussing it with me first,” Carmilla’s voice laments from behind Laura.

“No, I learned my lesson last time.  She just showed up,” Laura replies without taking her eyes of Lilita.

“Right, of course.”  Carmilla turns her attention to her mother with an insincere beaming smile.  “It’s been swell, mother, but I need you to go, now. We’ve got business to attend to.” 

 

Lilita crosses her arms.  “Look, I only came here to see how you and Laura were doing following the Goat Kidnapper abduction and torture.  No need for all this animosity.”

“I think this animosity is perfectly warranted and might even be on the light side,” Carmilla snarls.

“But the concern is appreciated,” Laura adds politely before she notices something and looks over at Carmilla in concern.  “Oh, god, Carm! You’re still shivering. Sit by the fireplace.”

She ushers Carmilla back to the couch and throws a blanket around Carmilla, then runs off to the kitchen.

 

“I thought I heard through the grapevine that Laura’s college scientist friend was looking into your… condition,” Lilita comments, walking into the house and closing the door behind her.

“You’re still here?” Carmilla snaps dryly.

 

Laura returns with a mug of hot cocoa for Carmilla.  “Here.” When she sees that Carmilla’s hands are still shaking, she holds the mug and a straw in place for her to sip from.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Carmilla sighs happily after feeling the warmth fill her body.  She manages to take the mug from Laura and rests it in her lap.

“Where did you pop off to this time?” Lilita asks.

Carmilla averts her gaze into her mug, staring at it intently.

Laura’s narrows her eyes at Lilita.  “She went to 1995.”

Carmilla gives a small, sad nod.

“Good lord,” Lilita exhales behind them, understanding the implication.  “You… You watched Samuel...”

 

“I was on the side of the road and didn’t know where or when I was,” Carmilla says, her voice small and scared.  She still won’t look at anyone. “I was collecting some of whatever I could find from someone who had left on their clothesline to dry when I saw the car skid on the road.  It didn’t even occur to me whose car it was when I ran over. And by the time I got there, Past Me had already traveled away, and my dad was...”

Laura swallows hard.  “Oh, Carm...”

Carmilla clears her throat and sniffles as she puts her mug down on the coffee table.  “I used the window of time to get some of his… DNA on a small cloth and folded it and hid it in the dirt under some bushes before Past Me traveled back.”

Laura looks at her with sad eyes.  “Do you want me to hold you?” she asks.

Carmilla nods and dives forward into Laura’s open arms, sighing in content as Laura embraces her nice and tight.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Laura whispers, rubbing slow soothing circles on her back.  “At least it’s finally over and you won’t have to go back to that moment ever again.”

“And Franken-Ginger can use the sample to fix me,” Carmilla sighs.  “As much as they can, anyway.”

Laura buries a kiss in her hair.  “You don’t need fixing, Carm. You’re not broken and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need help, and there’s no shame in that.”

Carmilla lets out another sigh of content, mixed with relief.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Laura says softly.

 

“Well, this is growing more and more awkward the longer I stand here,” Lilita notes, watching them both jump in surprise.

“You’re still here?!” Carmilla shouts.

Lilita scoffs.  “Honestly, it’s no wonder Laura ended up Kidnapped and sliced up like Christmas ham.  Your joint lack of awareness is downright perturbing.”

 

Laura gently untangles herself from Carmilla and stands up to face her.  “Look, you said you came here to check up on us. You’ve done that. So you can go now instead of ridiculing and abusing Carmilla, especially when she’s this vulnerable.”

Lilita is silent at that, her jaw clenching a few times.  Finally, she lets out a long exhale. “Fine. That wasn’t the only reason I came here.”

“Then why are you here?” Laura asks, exasperated.

Lilita clicks her tongue and seems annoyed with herself.  She walks around the couch, so she can see Carmilla as well.

 

“When the news report broke that you and your friends had caught the Kidnapper, a cameraman got a shot of the two of you getting into the back of an ambulance,” Lilita says to Laura before turning her attention to Carmilla.  “And it reminded me of a similar shot from the news report when the police found you and your father. And it hit me that in both of those instances, I wasn’t there for you in your life in any capacity. And when you needed me most, I wasn’t there, either.  And I should’ve been.”

“You’re just making a bunch of statements I already knew,” Carmilla grumbles.

Lilita sighs and takes a step closer to Carmilla, pausing when Carmilla instinctively curls more into herself.  Laura subtly positions herself between them, protectively in front of Carmilla.

 

“Sweetheart,” Lilita tries again, her voice more gentle.  “Do you remember what I was like before I… before we lost your father?”

Carmilla looks up at her but doesn’t reply.

“I don’t know what your memories are because you were so young,” Lilita continues.  “And even then, I was hardly ever around. I was always… traveling. For work. The irony of being married to a time traveler who stayed at home more than I did was never lost on me.  But whatever time we did spend together during those years, were full of as much laughter and love as I could fit in between trips.”

“Wow, who thought the real reason you came here was to give us a boring, verbal autobiography,” Carmilla comments dryly.

Laura quietly puts a hand on Carmilla’s and gives it a small squeeze.  Carmilla takes a deep breath.

“What is your point here, mother?”

 

“My point is, I have been a horrible mother and person in general since I lost my husband. He was the love of my life and after I lost him, it was like the light was gone. And in that darkness, I forgot that I wasn’t the only person who lost him.  You lost him, too,” Lilita says softly.

Laura looks over at Carmilla, who looks shocked as tears form in her eyes.

“I forgot that you lost your father and instead I blamed you for it. For all these years, I blamed you, and I had no right to. And I wouldn’t admit that to myself until I was... seeing you in the back of another emergency vehicle…”  Her voice cracks. “I am so, so sorry. I can’t lose you, too. And it shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize that.”

Carmilla squeezes Laura’s hand but still doesn’t speak.

 

“I don’t expect us to have any kind of normal mother-daughter relationship,” Lilita continues.  “I just want us to maybe have a mother-daughter relationship. Someday. When you’re ready.”

Carmilla finally lets go of Laura’s hand and stands up, staring at her mother intently for a few seconds before speaking.  “I spent so much time hating you and being afraid of you that I just couldn’t see it. Your broken heart. You didn’t just lose your love, but because of that love, you cut yourself off from ever feeling that kind of love again.”  She swallows hard. “Because you knew every time I traveled away, there was a chance I wasn’t coming back. And you were afraid. And you hated feeling afraid.”

Lilita wipes at her dampening cheeks.

Carmilla sighs.  “And fear and hatred twisted you into something you were never supposed to be.  Somewhere in all that anger and darkness, you lost all your hope, didn’t you?”

 

“Your father and I never wanted this kind of life for you, my glittering girl.  This world is already cruel enough to women without hurling you around space and time and making you constantly afraid.”

“I’m not,” Carmilla says softly.  “I’m not afraid anymore.”

Lilita looks over at Laura.  “Because of her.”

Carmilla nods.  “She’s my home.”

“The home I never gave you,” Lilita admits, but not with bitterness.  “The home I’m sincerely glad that you found. Love doesn’t make either of you weak.  It makes you both strong. I just want you to be safe and loved, darling. I’m sorry I never offered you that.”

 

Carmilla lets out a long, shaky breath and looks back at Laura before slowly meeting her mother’s eyes.

“I can’t say I’m anywhere near forgiving you right now,” Carmilla says slowly.  “But I appreciate you taking this step and considering I just watched one of my parents die a second time, I’ll…  need some time and think about everything.”

“I understand and that’s all I was asking,” Lilita says, her voice more warm than Carmilla swears she’s ever heard it.  With that, she finally walks out of their house.

 

Carmilla waits for the front door to close before she finally visibly relaxes.

Laura carefully walks up behind her and Carmilla turns, stepping into a hug all ready for her.

“I’m proud of you,” Laura whispers.

Carmilla sobs a laugh into Laura’s shoulder.  “Being forgiving sucks.”

Laura chuckles and squeezes her tighter.  “I should probably go lock the door before she comes back in here and yells at us for our lack of awareness again.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	26. The Vow Renewal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day before they renew their vows, Carmilla finally finds out about Laura's health situation.

**November 2019**

 

Carmilla had only been gone for a few days, and Laura was kept a bit too busy for her liking.  She was working on two guest articles-- one on the dangers of clogged shower drains, and one on what it’s like to start krav maga training at a young age-- as well as picking up Carmilla’s shifts at the library.  And planning for their vow renewal. 

She hadn’t had time to even check their phone messages-- or much else, really.

 

So when Carmilla reappears, Laura gladly tosses all of that aside to go down memory lane with her-- although the memories are much fresher in Carmilla’s mind than hers.

Every time Carmilla returns from some trip to the past, they go through the pictures in Laura’s collection, usually kept loosely but organized chonologically (from Laura’s point of view) in a stack.

The only exception were the prom pictures, which were each given their own page in a small-sized photo album.

 

“Prom was pretty damn magical,” Laura sighs happily as she and Carmilla flip through the photo album.  “Although I’ll admit I was sad for weeks that we didn’t kiss at the end of the night.”

That _ was an understatement. _   She’d abused every heartbreak song in her library and then some.

Carmilla laughs.  “But then the first time I kissed you wouldn’t have been the first time you kissed me,” she points out.

“Whatta romantic,” Laura teases, knowing that she has a point.

Carmilla hums and meets Laura in the middle for a long, sweet kiss.  “Look who’s talking.  _ You’re _ the one who wants to renew our vows two years into marriage.”

Laura chuckles and gives her another peck on the cheek.  “We’re celebrating the real start to your treatment,” she says brightly.  “You were able to jump back to almost the same day you left me when you traveled away.”

“That’s still a long time,” Carmilla sighs.

“Still better than waiting for weeks.”

 

Laura goes to the kitchen with their empty mugs in hand, prepping for hot cocoa refills.

 

After a couple minutes, she hears the sound of Carmilla playing the messages on their machine.

“ _ You have four new messages, _ ” it says.  “ _ First voice message: _ ”

 

“ _ Heyyyy Karnstein.  It’s been almost a day since Laura told me you traveled away.  Guess we got some tweaking to do! But don’t worry, we’re gonna make sure the blood you got from your dad… it won’t go to waste, okay?  See ya when I see ya. _ ”

“ _ Message deleted. _ ”

 

“ _ Next voice message: _ ”

 

“ _ Hi, sis.  Just wanted to see if your treatment is working.  Although I guess it’s not, or I wouldn’t have to leave this message at all. _ ”

Laura hears Carmilla laugh and she doesn’t delete this message.

 

The cocoa is ready now but Laura almost drops the mugs upon hearing the next message-- but it’s too late as she scrambles out of the kitchen.

 

“ _ Hello.  This message is for. Laura Hollis. This is a third reminder regarding your urgent medication refill. Your prescription has been ready.  Please pick it up as soon as possible. Thank you. _ ”

Carmilla turns to find Laura holding two full mugs.

“What prescription?” Carmilla asks.

“Oh, uhm.  It’s nothing,” Laura mumbles.   _ Shit. _

 

The machine goes to the next message.

“ _ Hi, sweetie, it’s dad.  So… You know how I’m your backup with the antibiotics and stuff?  After you missed the last reminder, they called me and I know you’re busy and stressed which probably isn’t helping with the whole heart thing.  I got them for you and I’ll give them to you at the vow renewal! Assuming Carmilla returns in time for that, of course. Otherwise I’ll just swing by.  Love you! _ ”

 

Laura looks over nervously at Carmilla, who’s staring intently at her with her arms crossed.  _ Shitshitshit. _

“Explain.”

 

The front door lock clicks and Sherman steps through.  “Oh, haha, I just saw your text that Carm did travel back in time for the vow renewal tomorrow,” he says, staring down at his phone.  “Well, I was already in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d drop off your--”

He sees Carmilla and closes his mouth before clearing his throat.

“...Your... friends,” he finishes, right as Perry, LaFontaine, and Danny walk in behind him, clearly not knowing they were all there.

“Hi, Laura, I had some questions about the decorations,” Perry says.

LaF plops down on the couch, stretching out.  “And I had some questions for Carm.”

“We’re, uh, kinda in the middle of something right now,” Laura stammers as Carmilla glares everyone down.

“I’m just here to pass on that my mom wants you to...”  Danny awkwardly glances over at Carmilla before looking back at Laura.  “...follow up. Soon.”

 

“What the  _ fuck _ is going on?” Carmilla demands finally.  “Does  _ everyone _ here know about whatever it is you’re keeping from me?”

“Y...es...” Laura answers slowly.  She sighs and looks around the room.  “I just think this discussion should be had in private.”

LaFontaine doesn’t move right away, but Perry drags them out.  Danny nods as she and Sherman leave first, with him dropping off a small bag at the door on his way out and closes the front door.

 

“ _ What _ is going on?” Carmilla asks, her tone more gentle.

Laura sighs and sits down, patting the seat next to her.  “Do you remember back in April of last year when you started traveling a lot?  Before we asked LaFontaine for help in October?”

Carmilla joins her on the couch and nods.

“And my dad was in the hospital for a week in late July?”

Carmilla nods again.

“Well, right after you traveled away for two and a half months and I was trying to keep up with taking care of him, and doing my job as a reporter on that stupid kidnapper, and covering your shifts at the library whenever I could… th-there was a lotta stress and I… sorta… maybe… kinda had a stroke.”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen and she jumps off the couch.  “ _ WHAT? _ ”

 

Laura swallows hard before she sucks in a breath.  “And then I had a valve replacement surgery?”

Carmilla looks like she’s about to faint, so Laura gently grabs her hand and leads her back down to the couch to give her a few moments.

And maybe give herself a few moments.

Telling Carmilla made it feel all too real.

 

“What is the medication for?” Carmilla finally asks.

“Usually just some blood thinners help me manage the condition,” Laura explains gently.  “RHD. Rheumatic heart disease.” She swallows hard. “What my mom had.” When Carmilla visibly starts to panic again, Laura rushes out, “But we have way better methods of managing it now!”

Carmilla looks at her skeptically.  “Then what is with Danny saying there’s an urgent need to follow up with Mrs. Lawrence?”

Laura averts her gaze and Carmilla frowns.

“Laura…”

 

“The valve replacement didn’t work.  I mean, it did and I’ve been managing it with the medication, but…  There are concerns,” Laura sighs. “I go to the office Danny’s mom works at for check-ups and all the tests... an echo, ECG, x-ray, MRI, blood tests… ”

Carmilla frowns.  “The same battery of tests I get done for LaF’s experiment.”

Laura nods.  “Yeah, which I’ve been doing since last year.  But LaF’s mom noticed something in the last bunch of tests and asked me to go back so she could run some more and I assume that’s what the follow up is for.  So Danny’s mom and LaF’s mom probably just want to follow up to make sure I’m taking the antibiotics.”

Carmilla looks down at her hands in her lap, shaking her leg nervously.  “Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispers sadly.

Laura sighs.  “By the time you got back from traveling in October, I was done recovering from the surgery.  And my friends had been with me the whole time-- Mattie included-- and you were struggling with always being gone and I didn’t wanna add to it right away.  And then the treatment thing with LaF started and you were worried about having to travel back and see your dad. I was waiting for the right time.”

 

Carmilla shakes her head and gets up again.

“You know what would’ve been a great time?  Any time before we found out that the heart surgery you just told me about isn’t working and you might be dead soon,” Carmilla snaps, her voice cracking.  

This wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t about her right now.

Laura had months to find a way to cope with this situation.  Carmilla just found out.

 

“Is that why you wanted to renew our vows?  You know something that suggests you’d be dead soon?”

This feels like ice in Laura’s veins.  Once again, not the whole truth. But still a part of it.

Carmilla sits back down and buries her face in her hands with a shaky sob.

 

“I… I’m so sorry, Carm.”  Laura slowly reaches out and places a hand on Carmilla’s knee.  “Look, with all of this happening, I realized I’ve… never seen you past the age of thirty.  For the longest time I assumed we eventually found a way for you to stop traveling.”

Carmilla looks up, horrified.  “And now what? You think it’s coz you  _ die _ in the next year?”

“I don’t know,” Laura sighs.  She stands up and looks at her phone.

_ I’ve put this off for long enough. _

“I do know I need to get to Dr. LaFontaine’s office before it closes and discuss what’s going on with my test results.  Regardless of whether we renew our vows tomorrow.” She puts on her sneakers and offers an apologetic look. “We’ll talk about this later, okay?”

Carmilla doesn’t say anything as Laura closes the front door.

 

 

* * *

 

“Eh… What’s up, doc?” Laura says, walking into the room, trailed by Danny, who had driven her over and mercifully didn’t ask any questions about Carmilla finding out the truth.

“Hollis, it wasn’t funny when we were in kindergarten, and it isn’t funny now,” LaFontaine comments, but there’s no real bite to it.

Doc LaF smiles warmly.  “I’ll always find it funny, Laura.”

Laura chuckles nervously.  “Ooh. Yikes.  _ Super _ niceness.  Must be bad.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” Danny says, walking into Doc LaF’s office with her.  Mrs. Lawrence closes the door.

 

Doc LaF’s smile slowly fades.

Laura wrings her hands together.  “Oh.”

 

She doesn’t quite remember everything Doc LaF says, and it must be evident because she does notice LaFontaine jotting down notes and saying they’ll send them to her later.

Laura picks up small words and phrases.  

_ Another valve damaged. _

_ Body too weak to handle the surgery needed. _

_ More medication. _

_ Fevers. _

_ Stroke. _

 

_ Death. _

 

The next thing Laura knows, she’s wandering out the door.  The words “I’m okay, I’m okay,” and “I need some time alone,” come out of her mouth, but she’s not sure she’s the one who’s speaking them.

 

Then there’s some walking and walking and a feeling like she should sit down in this particular spot.

A small child speaks to her, and says everything will be okay.  She even hands Laura her lunch box.

And then, her memory is fuzzy.

All she can think about is how one day her mom was there-- and the next, she was gone.  And the very crippling thought that not only could she do that to Carmilla-- but that there’s a very possibility that Carmilla could be away when it happens.

That Carmilla would travel back to an empty home, an empty bed.  An empty mug of hot cocoa.

 

She’s not sure how long she’s been sitting down until a voice brings her from her thoughts.

“ _ Thought you might be here _ .”

 

Laura looks up at Carmilla and realizes she’s been sitting on  _ their _ bench all along.

The one where a young Laura had to introduce Carmilla to her father.  Where Carmilla left Laura after their first date. Where Laura found Carmilla after she panicked and ran away.

And where Laura was now sitting alone, crying.

 

“There was a mom and her kid sitting here when I got here and I was already crying so hard they got up and left,” Laura sobs.  “The kid even gave me her  _ She-Ra _ lunchbox.”

Carmilla chuckles softly and picks it up off the floor.

Laura’s wiping her tears with hiccuping breaths.

**“** Okay.  Are you hungry?” Carmilla asks, rifling through the lunch box. ”Coz, you know, now we have chocolate, and chocolate with bits of cookies in it, and chocolate with some kind of fudge-like substance …”

Laura lets out a sobbed laugh.  “Stop.  Please.  Stop.”

“Are you calling my bluff?” Carmilla responds with a sigh, closing the lunch box.  “...Coz I may have  _ slightly _ exaggerated what goodies I found in there.”

She tilts the box and Laura sees it’s a bag of apple slices and a half-eaten box of raisins.

Laura lets out another sobbed laugh.  “Well, then, I guess there’s no point in living anymore.”

 

Carmilla narrows her eyes.

“Too soon?” Laura asks with a sniffle.

“Slightly,” Carmilla replies.  She sucks in a breath. “Feel like talking about it?”

“Doc LaF thinks another valve got affected and damaged.  So I gotta take antibiotics. She doesn’t know if I can take another heart surgery,” Laura says, hating how small her voice sounds.

Carmilla sits in silence beside Laura for a few moments.  Laura finally clears her throat awkwardly.  

“You still mad at me?”

Carmilla looks like she’s in shock for a moment as her shoulders slump forward and she shakes her head.  “I was  _ never _ mad at you.”

This catches Laura by surprise.  “Oh.”

 

Carmilla takes Laura’s hands in hers.  “You know… Our lives have been so intertwined that I never even really thought about where they’d end up linearly.  To me, it’s like your existence has just been this huge circle that I’ve been leaping around in.”

She swallows hard.

“Because… Mattie’s right.  Our condition is a gift. I’m not bound by time or...”  The words catch in her throat. “I’ve had the privilege of seeing your life in a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.”

Laura huffs out a small laugh.  “You  _ do _ pay attention during  _ Doctor Who _ .”

“Duh,” Carmilla chuckles.  “While I’ve been doing all that... you’ve been here, going in one direction.  And it never occurred to me how scary that could be.”

Carmilla pauses and inhales deeply.

“I don’t want to watch you die.”

 

The words hover in the space between them, making the air heavy and threatening to snuff out all the light in the world.

Laura’s mortality, right out there in the open, casting a shadow over the brightness of their lives together.

 

_ No. _

_ No, I won’t let it. _

_ Not when Carm and I have been through too much together. _

 

“That makes two of us,” Laura finally says softly.

“All I could think about is losing you.  And if I do, I think I’d go mad,” Carmilla admits, fear creeping into her voice.

Laura squeezes Carmilla’s hands.  “Carm, I refuse to believe that the Universe brought us together across time and then in the present, just for it to end in chaos and misery.  This isn’t like before you met me.  We  _ found _ each other.  Here.” Laura smiles.  “We’ve  _ never _ known how much time we’ll have together.  Not in 1998, and not now. So why should anything be different?”

Carmilla gives a slight nod, smiling at Laura’s logic.

 

“And, yeah, half the time I wanna strangle you,” Laura says, making them both laugh.  “But we’ve had kisses, and cocoa, and stars, and dancing.  That’s so much more than nothing.”

Carmilla grins.  “You sound like a bad fortune cookie.”

“Learned from the best,” Laura says with a shrug and a wink.

 

She isn’t about to give into the fear of “maybes” and “what-ifs.”

 

“We’ve had such an adventure together and being afraid  _ maybe _ losing each other now?  I don’t want  _ that _  to be our story.  Okay?  Our story is that we made each other better.  Throughout time and in spite of it.”

Carmilla nods again, more firmly.  “Fine, We’ll keep managing your condition.  And keep living our lives together, treating time as precious as we always have.

“Good.  Because... if this is our last year, I don’t want to waste it arguing.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Carmilla, would you like to go first?” Sherman asks, having been asked by both Carmilla and Laura to officiate the vow renewal.

Both girls are dressed in the same white suits as they were in their wedding.

“You’re  _ you _ , this time, right?” Laura asks Carmilla with a wink.

Carmilla narrows her eyes playfully.  “I was me the last time, too. Just slightly time-displaced.”  She clears her throat, looking around at their friends. Even her mother got an invite to this event, although she’s awkwardly sat in the back in a row by herself.  “But, yes, it’s me.”

Carmilla glances at Sherman and he gives her a nod.

 

She starts to reach into her pocket for her index cards before scoffing and deciding to speak from the heart.

“So, I got some pretty scary news yesterday and freaked out,” Carmilla begins.  “And at first I thought I was mad that I was the last to know. But then I realized I was scared.  More scared than I’ve ever been—and I’ve been pretty damned scared before. This wasn’t me walking around for days somewhere wondering when I’ll have permanent shelter and food again.  This wasn’t me ending up in a weird dark place alone.”

She sighs.

“This was me facing the very real possibility that I’d have to spend a future without ever seeing you again.  It was me realizing for the first time what it meant to be with someone who lives through time linearly and… I was so  _ scared _ .”  Carmilla looks over at Mattie.  “Then, someone reminded me that you’ve built your life around me.  And the least I could do is be there for you.”

 

Laura starts to interrupt, but Carmilla raises an eyebrow.

“Ah, I do believe I have the floor.”

Sherman gives her a nod to continue, chuckling when Laura lets out a very loud huff and pouts.

 

“And  _ that _ … That terrified me more.  Because…  Hey, you’re Laura Hollis.  And I’ve watched you fight bullies… and a kidnapper... and even that lady who tried to butt in line at the craft fair.”

Laura giggles.

“And the idea of you also not knowing what could happen next and being scared and needing me—that made me feel so weak and powerless.”

Carmilla chuckles.

“But then I realized that, if I get comfort in your strength by just having you in my life, then maybe I’m the same for you.  Maybe that’s why you put up with me randomly popping up in your life and leaving just as suddenly. Because you’re my source of strength, and I’m yours.”

Carmilla takes a deep breath, taking Laura’s hands in hers as tears form in her eyes.

“So, you’re gonna figure it out.  Whatever happens next, we’re gonna do it together.   We’ll be scared together, but we’ll make each other strong.  And we’ll have our hot cocoa, and our star gazing, and snuggles by the fireplace, and our laughs, for as long as time will let us.  And beyond that, because time has never stopped us before. And because I love you too much to let something as flimsy as time keep us apart.”

 

Laura’s sobs out a laugh, crying as well and letting go of Carmilla’s hands to wipe her eyes.  

“Your turn,” Sherman says, his voice cracking from emotion.

 

“Carm, I thought you would’ve figured it out by now,” Laura says with a chuckle and a head shake, “it doesn’t matter if it was while I was a kid with a date to wait for you to show up in my attic, or preparing our photo album and vlogs, or a platonic prom night with you, or meeting you in the present as our timelines matched up, or getting married to Future You instead of Present You.”  She swallows hard. “I’ve never built my life around you. I’ve always built it  _ with _ you.”

Laura gives Carmilla a warm smile.

“Our story isn’t about waiting or being afraid.  It’s about how we make each other strong. Our story is... we make each other better.”  Laura clears her throat. “It doesn’t matter if the whole world burns, because I have had all of this time building my life with you.”

She takes Carmilla’s hands again.

 

“This isn’t the end of our story.  I’m ready to make the most of whatever time we have left together-- whether it’s days, or weeks, or years-- and continue building our lives together,” Laura says, her voice strong.

Carmilla nods with a sniffle.  “I’m ready, too. Let’s do this.  Together.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	27. The Album

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla surprises Laura on her birthday, only to find that Laura has a gift for her as well that's been a long time in the making.

**January 2020**

 

“Good morning, Birthday Girl,” Carmilla greets as she walks downstairs to the den and finds Laura nursing a cup of coffee while reading her Twitter feed.

“Good morning,” Laura says, giving her a peck on the lips. “There’s a pot of coffee on the counter.”

Carmilla gives her a second short and sweet kiss before she goes to get a cup of coffee and returns.  “What time are the guests supposed to start showing up?”

“A couple more hours,” Laura replies, shifting on the couch to make room for Carmilla.

“Ah, don’t bother,” she says, putting the cup of coffee down on the table.  “See you in a bit.”

 

Within seconds, Carmilla disappears.  Laura stands to pick up the discarded clothes, but immediately afterwards, another Carmilla reappears in her place, facing away from Laura.

 

“Hah, that was so weird,” Laura’s says, clearly confusing Past Carmilla.

Past Carmilla turns.  “What…?” she asks, still focusing after traveling.

“Uhm, Future You just traveled,” Laura explains, pointing at a pile of clothes on the floor at Past Carmilla’s feet.  “And seconds later, you appeared.”

“Oh.”  Past Carmilla quickly puts the clothes on.

Laura giggles and hands her the cup of coffee.  ”Good thing I didn’t hand Future You this mug before, or we’d have another broken mug on our hands.”  She takes a sip from her own mug. “Although maybe you didn’t take it from me on purpose.” She settles in on a couch.  “I’m gonna assume you’re from the past, so just make sure in January 2020, you don’t take any mugs from me.”

Past Carmilla swallows hard, staring into the mug of coffee, but not drinking it.  She looks around her. “So we’re still together in 2020? Living in this house together?”

 

Laura’s eyes widen in realization.  “Oh my goodness. Right! You must have just traveled from the night of our rehearsal dinner.  Which means we just had… a huge fight.”

Past Carmilla nods, staring into her mug.

Laura sighs and mulls over what to say.  She takes a deep breath. “I know you’re angry.  I know that what I did was a betrayal, and maybe unforgivable, and that you’re probably gonna have to be furious at me for… a really long time.  And I know that you don’t want to listen to anything I have to say.  But you’re stuck in our future house for a bit, unless you wanna venture out into the cold January air, so here’s my pitch.”

Past Carmilla slowly looks up and her face softens a bit.

 

“You’re stuck with me.  Even if you go back to your present and decide you don’t want to marry me, which is totally valid, this isn’t gonna stop the fact that you will continue to travel back to see me.  Or travel forward to see me. I mean, as far as I know, this is the only time we’ve ever done an actual swap of Carmillas, where you travel between two points of time seconds apart.”  Laura sighs. “You’re gonna go back and find out we got married. I’m not gonna get into how because-- spoilers. But that’s what’s gonna happen. Assuming Future You and Past Me got their shit together in your iteration.”

Past Carmilla takes a slow sip of coffee but doesn’t speak.

“And when you go back to your time and find out we’re married… Don’t back out.  And not because I’m all righteous and looking for you to make good on a promise Future You made.”  She laughs weakly. “Because if the past three years has taught me anything, it really is that I have no business trying to be righteous.  I was so used to thinking I knew you better than you knew yourself because… for a long time that was true, in a way. In 2017, I didn’t realize that the things I did to uphold what I thought was right for you could cause so much damage.  When I sent that invite to your mom, I was so dead-set on what I thought was right that I was willing to do the one thing you never did to me-- withhold information without being upfront about it.  And it’s something I’m still working on, because I’ve become so used to protecting you that I forget we’re supposed to be in this together.  And I hope that you know that I never meant to sacrifice your trust.”

Past Carmilla silently plays with her mug handle.

 

“So here’s what I’ve learned in our time together,” Laura says. “The best thing that we can do with whatever strength we’re given is to help each other.  To be as kind to each other as we can.”  She lets out a long exhale. “When I sent the wedding invite to your mother, I never put the address of our venue. Just a date. With a note saying if she wants the location of the wedding, she has to come see me first.  So that I could talk to her and figure out if she’s deserving of having you in her life.”

Past Carmilla looks surprised at that.

“That’s why she showed up at our apartment that day.  I was never, ever going to give her a chance to ruin our wedding day,” Laura clarifies.  “I’m sorry I didn’t consult you first. I thought what I was doing the right thing for you, but I shouldn’t have tried to rush you or your mother into a reconciliation.”

 

With that new piece of information and the apology, Past Carmilla finally speaks.  “You’re a lunatic, you know that?” Her tone isn’t too sharp.

“Yes,” Laura replies simply.

“You’re insane.”

Laura chuckles softly.  “Quite possibly.”

“This isn’t a story, Laura,” Past Carmilla says.  “This is just life.  Where there are no heroes.  Where sometimes, evil just wins.  Full stop.  The universe doesn’t care whether you live or die, you just do or don’t.  Depending on whether or not you’re strong enough to survive.”

Laura nods.  Obviously, Past Carmilla doesn’t know about the dark significance behind her words, so she shrugs off the flippancy.

 

“I think we’re stronger together. It’s why our marriage works out.  Once we both understand that and embrace it, our relationship is the stronger for it,” Laura says.  “Your mother and evil don’t win. We do. We’re the heroes.”

Past Carmilla scoffs and averts her gaze.  “I’m no hero.”

Laura lets out a soft laugh.  “I was trying to be yours, y’know.  I just really wanted to be your hero coz you’ve always been mine.”

“I’m no hero,” Past Carmilla repeats.

“Have you ever considered that maybe “hero” isn’t one thing that one person was supposed to be by themselves?” Laura asks gently.  “That maybe in this story you are my hero and I’m your hero?  And maybe it’s all of our responsibilities to be heroes for each other?”

 

Past Carmilla looks up at that and her face softens.  “Maybe.”

 

After that, Laura sets up the fireplace as Past Carmilla wanders around the house before letting her settle in by the fire for a bit before guests start showing up.  Past Carmilla quietly waves at everyone, but doesn’t socialize much otherwise, other than with Mattie, who finds it very amusing that she just traveled from the day of the rehearsal dinner.

After greeting everyone, Laura feels her head spin a bit and a quick hand-test by Perry, followed by an actual thermometer reading by LaFontaine, confirms that Laura has a bit of a fever.  They quickly wrap up lunch, talking around why Laura’s fever is such a concern since Past Carmilla is still there.  

Gifts include some gift cards to bookstores and bakeries around the city, and some Buffy memorabilia.

 

As it slowly turns to late afternoon, Sherman is the first to insist they should leave so Laura can rest, but Laura asks for Mattie to stay behind to keep Past Carmilla company.

“Sure it’s not also annoy me with your request?” Mattie snaps, but with a loving look.

Laura gasps dramatically, clutching her chest.  “I am wounded, Mattie.”

“I wish you were, you gnat,” Mattie sighs.

 

It’s another couple hours of slight bickering

Past Carmilla laughs.  “It’s so weird to see you two getting along this well.  If… that’s what this is.”

Laura grins.  “It’s a wild trip to January 2020.”

Past Carmilla seems more visibly relaxed than she was when she first arrived.  “I look forward to it,” she answers sincerely.

Then she vanishes.

 

Mattie leaves shortly after and Laura decides to take a nap on the couch, hoping Present Carmilla returns soon.

A couple hours later, she feels a light nudge and offers Carmilla a sleepy smile.  Laura fumbles around for the pile of clothes, finding that she had started using it as a pillow at some point.

“Hey,” Carmilla says, gratefully taking clothes from Laura.  “Guess who just had to do her first set of vows a second time.”

 

Laura laughs.  “I figured that’s when you went, when a very angry Past You appeared here, whisked away from before the rehearsal dinner.”

“Well… in hindsight, you were right hoping my relationship with my mom could be redeemed,” Carmilla admits sheepishly as she finishes getting dressed.

“Ah, it never gets old hearing ‘you were right,’” Laura teases.

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “You weren’t totally right with the timing, though,” she points out.

“Timing’s never really been either of our strong suits, though, has it?” Laura remarks.  “But speaking of timing, I was just about to order dinner. Are you good with Chinese takeout?  Or are you still full from food from our wedding?”

 

Carmilla frowns.  “Wait. I traveled away the morning of your birthday.  How long have I been gone?” she asks, worried. “Shit, did I miss the entirety of your birthday?”

“It’s still my birthday, silly.  You were gone less than a day, so LaF’s treatment at helping you target your travels seems to be working.  Besides, I did have Past You standing here calling me a lunatic to keep me company,” Laura replies with a giggle.  “My friends and dad came and went. I would’ve had them stay here longer but… Made it a quick lunch with presents and cake coz I’m not feeling great.  I saved you a slice, though.”

Carmilla’s concerned frown deepens.  “You’re not feeling well?”

“Just a small fever,” Laura answers.

“Maybe you should take a longer nap,” Carmilla suggests.  “I’ll order the food.”

Laura hums.  “You’re the best.”

 

“Hardly,” Carmilla comments dryly.  “But like I just told Past You, you’re stuck with me.”

“And you’re stuck with me,” Laura comments before she wanders off to the bedroom.

She drifts off again pretty easily.

 

Laura yawns and squints at the clock on the nightstand.

_ 11:27pm _ .

She lets out a yelp and sits bolt upright.  The bedroom door flies open and a wide-eyed Carmilla runs in.  “What? What is it? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Laura replies.  “Just… Why did you let me sleep so late?”

“Jeez, don’t scare me like that!” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura grins sheepishly.  “Sorry.”

Carmilla sits at the foot of the bed.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m  _ feeling _ curious as to why you let me sleep through my birthday night,” Laura says teasingly.  “Especially when--”

_ Especially when it may be my last _ .

She cuts herself off and clears her throat.

 

Carmilla seems to mentally finish Laura’s sentence as well before she reaches out her hand for Laura to take.  “Come with me.”

Laura follows Carmilla out to the living room and stops short.   _ Holy Hufflepuff. _

 

A bookcase has been wheeled in and placed beside the couch by the fireplace.  All of Laura’s friends, her father, and even Carmilla’s mother are standing near it.

 

“Where did you get all of these?” Laura breathes out.

“Remember that weekend a few months ago when LaF and I took you to Comic-Con?  Perry and your dad snuck into your room and grabbed the list I gave you with all the books.”

Laura runs her hand over the spines of all the books, tears forming in her eyes.  “So these are...”

“All books we picked out on our first date during some timeline out there.  Mattie hunted down as many as she could from the library-- which we’ll need to eventually return-- and my mother bought the rest.  Kirsch and Danny built the bookcase”

“I cleaned the bookcase after they built it,” Perry says cheerfully.  “100% dust-free. And I take a lot of pride in that last 1%.”

LaF pats her on the arm.  “And I created this awesome glossy finish that kills 99.9% of bacteria.”

 

Laura sniffles, trying to speak through all the emotion she feels filling up her body.  “Y-You guys...”

“We love you, Hollis,” Danny says simply.

“All of us,” Mattie supplies grudgingly.  “It also helps that you and Carm apparently have an affinity for sappy books that no one else would borrow and read.”

Lilita crosses her arms.  “Speak for yourself. I had to buy quite a lot of this collection.”

Carmilla gives her a pointed look.

“...Which I have absolutely no issue with,” she amends quickly.

 

“And I helped build it!” Kirsch declares proudly.

“Karnstein already said that,” Danny growls.  “It was, like, the first thing she said.”

Kirsch pouts.  “Oh.” A thought occurs to him and his face lights up.  “When you finish reading all the books, you can turn this into a display for beer cans and bottles!”

“We’ll, uh, keep that in mind,” Laura says sweetly.

 

“And with that, we’ll let the girls have the rest of this night alone,” Sherman says, giving the others a pointed look.

Carmilla watches as everyone lines up to give Laura a hug-- including an awkward small one with Lilita-- and then thanks them all individually.  Mattie and Sherman are the last ones on line.

 

Mattie hands Laura a box.  “And here’s the thing you asked for, dear.”

Laura grins and gives her a big hug.  “Thanks, Mattie.”

“And here’s the other stuff you asked for,” Sherman says vaguely, handing her a small package.

“Thanks, dad,” Laura squeals, diving in for a hug with him.

“You guys are double agents,” Carmilla grumbles.  “I’m supposed to be the only one giving surprise presents tonight.  What is going on, here?”

Laura laughs as she finishes up a long embrace with her father.  “You’ll see.”

After everyone leaves, Carmilla begins reheating the Chinese takeout while Laura takes the box from Mattie and the package from Sherman to her room.

 

“Cupcake, the food’s ready,” Carmilla eventually calls.

“Did you eat without me?” Laura asks, returning with just the box.

Carmilla shakes her head.  “Was too busy setting up the bookcase.  And you know, general courtesy reasons.”

 

“Plus you were full from our wedding,” Laura jokes.  “I remember you stuffing your face and saying ‘I didn’t get to eat at my last one.’”

“Well, yeah, there’s that,” Carmilla chuckles.

Laura pats the bookcase as she walks past it to sit with Carmilla on the couch by the fireplace.  The flames are glowing in Carmilla’s eyes as she looks at Laura and smiles.

“This was amazing of you.  I mean, of all my friends and our family, too, of course.  But I assume you’re the one who had the idea and coordinated,” Laura says.

Carmilla’s smile grows as Laura sits beside her, putting the box on the floor.  “Well, like you said. We can’t just give up our life together. We gotta spend every moment together like it matters.  Coz it does.”

 

“What an excellent segue,” Laura says, opening the box and pulling out a photo album.  “Glad we’re on the same page.” She flips it open. “Literally.”

Carmilla looks down and smiles at the first page as she begins eating.  

It just has a Polaroid picture, faded but covered in plastic wrap to protect it.  Below is a short caption reading, “ _ February 1998. Laura, 7.  Carmilla, 23. First Buffy viewing! _ ”

 

Laura flips the page with one hand as she shovels at some food to put into her mouth with the other. Some text on the page reads, “ _ September 2000.  Laura, 9. Carmilla, 27.  First video. And fight(?) _ ”

Carmilla laughs as the first picture, also slightly faded, shows a smug Carmilla and a blurry Laura-- it was clearly taken before Laura was ready.

The one next to it is a “goofy” pic, where Laura’s eyes are crossed and her tongue is sticking out, and Carmilla is pretending to snarl at her.

In its own row is a picture of them simply smiling, with a large grin from Laura, lighting up the entire picture.

 

The next group of pictures are labeled, “ _ November 2001. Laura, 10. Carmilla, 26.  First trip to the park and first apple ciders together!! _ ”

Two pictures are in Laura’s bedroom, one of which is Laura hugging Carmilla.  A third picture is taken during their first outing together other than the first time they met, both holding cups of apple cider.

 

The next group of pictures span several pages and Carmilla grins as soon as she realizes what they are.

“ _ June 2009.  Laura, 18. Carmilla, 29. Prom!! _ ”

 

There is one with both of them leaning on Sherman’s car, with Carmilla posed behind Laura.

Another picture has Carmilla slipping a corsage over Laura’s wrist and Laura over-acting and swooning.

The next group of pictures is of Carmilla giving Laura a piggyback ride, and then Laura picking Carmilla up bridal-style.  They’re laughing in all of them.

A few pictures show them taking turns twirling each other, and at the end of one, Laura has twirled into Carmilla and is hovering an inch from her face, giving her a kiss on the cheek while Carmilla grins.

 

Carmilla clears her throat.  “I’ve been meaning to ask you this… Did I lead you on?” she asks quietly, her fingers lightly brushing over the last picture.  “I mean, we were over ten years apart in age. And I tried to be careful with you and made sure you knew we were going as friends, but…”

“No, you didn’t lead me on,” Laura insists.  “I think I was always gonna be crushing on you.”

Carmilla doesn’t seem entirely convinced as she continues eating.

Laura hums as she chews. She’d thought a lot about this concern over the years. “Did you ever feel like I was taking advantage of you when you met me?”

“God, no!” Carmilla replies.  “I mean, I thought I’d be at a disadvantage coz you knew so much more about me than I knew about you-- or than I knew about me.  But you never made me felt that way. You only let me do whatever I felt comfortable doing.”

“And that’s how I felt about you,” Laura says sweetly.  “I always felt comfortable with you.”

Carmilla smiles warmly.  “Okay,” she replies, finally satisfied.

 

They laugh as they realize the next few prom pictures are after Perry and LaFontaine showed up at Laura’s house.

After a regular group picture, there is one of Laura, Perry, Carmilla posing like Charlie’s Angels.  LaF is sprawled on the ground.

“Remember Perry fussed at them not to do it or they’d ruin the suit?” Laura giggles.

Carmilla nods with a chuckle.  “They did it anyway and she figured it was too late and she might as well pose.”  The memory was more recent for her, and Laura laughs harder after Carmilla reminds her.

 

Another group picture shows them all jumping into the air, with a beaming Laura getting way more airtime than anyone else.

“Very impressive, creampuff,” Carmilla comments.

“What can I say?” Laura asks as they look at the last bunch of prom pictures.  They’re regular poses, usually with Carmilla standing behind Laura with her arms wrapped around her waist and Laura’s smile lighting up the photos.  “You made me so happy I thought I could actually float away.”

Carmilla chuckles.

“Thank you again for volunteering to come with me,” Laura says softly.  The last picture is of them walking into the venue, the professional picture capturing their pure happiness and love for each other.

Carmilla kisses her on the cheek.  “I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Laura gives her a quick peck on the lips before returning to her dinner.

 

“Not to completely ignore how touching these pictures are,” Carmilla comments as she taps her finger on the album cover, “but I swear I’ve seen this album before.  Without the pictures, of course.”

“It’s from Mattie,” Laura answers.  She swallows hard. “My dad had offered to take care of me after my heart surgery while you weren’t around, but he’d just gotten out of the hospital himself.  So in the beginning my friends were staying with me, but then LaF and Perry had a business trip for the lab, and Danny went on vacation with her mom on a trip they’d planned months ago, so… I was staying with Mattie for a bit.”

 

Carmilla hums and stuffs her mouth with food, visibly still upset that this was all going on and she didn’t even know.

Laura sighs and eats some food herself.  “Carm, I’m really sorry we never told you.  That  _ I _ never told you.”

Carmilla pushes her food back and forth for a bit before she finally looks up at Laura.  “Why didn’t you? Because I think we both know the ‘I was waiting for the right time” thing was BS.”

Laura’s face softens.  “Honestly? I think it was like, if I didn’t tell you, then it wouldn’t be real.  You know? I mean, I knew I’d had the surgery. And I was taking the meds. But if I didn’t say it to you, then I wouldn’t have to admit how serious it could be to myself...”

Carmilla stays silent as Laura works up the strength to continue speaking.

“I wouldn’t have to admit to myself that I’m terrified of dying and of leaving you behind.  I just wanted life to stay happy and fun. Light and casual.” Tears form in her eyes. “Because I didn’t want to face the idea of me dying, because that’s dark and serious and scary--”

Her voice cracks and she begins to cry.

 

Her hiccupping sobs grow more and more out of control and Carmilla watches helplessly as Laura breaks in front of her.  She carefully gives it a while before she finally takes a deep breath.

 

“Okay, stop!  Stop.”

Carmilla takes Laura’s face in her hands and wipes away some tears, even though more are streaming down her cheeks.

“Look, you’re struggling, okay, and you’re allowed to.  Because, Cupcake, the universe is huge and it’s arbitrary and uncaring.  You know, one moment you can get sucked into a Hell pit and the next moment you can get pulverized by a meteor and, really, in the grand spectrum of things, it’ll mean nothing.”

Laura manages to let out a choked laugh as her sobs slow down.  Carmilla lets her go and Laura sniffles before laughing softly. “If this is your cheering-up speech, it needs a little work.”

 

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  ”Okay, well, I’ve been the dark and broody one in this relationship for the past seven years, so... give me a break.”

They both share a chuckle together.  Laura has stopped crying and Carmilla smiles at her.

“The point is, if nothing means anything then the only thing that means something is what we make.  I mean, you know?  Look at me.  I-I used to use hopelessness as an excuse for all of the awful things that I did.  Until this…” She grins smugly at Laura. “...prissy little overachiever that I was … totally not expecting to know who I am and about my condition just randomly popped up at my circulation desk in a random library showed me I  _ can _ control my own fate and have hope.  Because she thought we all deserved better.  Even me.”

Carmilla chuckles incredulously, still remembering the shock of the first time Laura made her feel like her fears and need for stability were valid but not doomed.  And all the times since.

 

“I’m not thrilled about you keeping the secret from me.  But even though you were struggling and uncertain… it is always so…  _ beautiful _ ...  The way you try.”

Laura stares at her with wide eyes before bursting into tears again.

 

“What?” Carmilla asks, panicked.

“To hell with ‘light and casual,’” Laura sobs.  “I don’t want to be light and casual with you. I don’t want to pretend that what we’ve always had is some stupid, frothy thing that doesn’t matter, because it is like the axis that my world turns on.”  She shakes her head and sniffles. “And, yeah, I could ask for us to go back to ignoring me being sick because this is scary and, and hard, a-and, and maybe the world’s about to end but … if it is, then I want us to have something good to hold on to.”

Laura takes a shaky breath.

“I love you.  Why shouldn’t that be something good?”

“I love you, too,” Carmilla replies softly, kissing Laura gently.

 

“You know, with all this timeline mess, one thing has become clear,” Laura says quietly.

“What?”

Laura sniffles.  “If there’s no real way to completely alter the way our story goes… if nothing we do matters… then all that matters is what we do. ‘Cause that’s all there is. What we do. Now. Today.”  She gives a shy shrug. “If there’s no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.”

 

Laura gives her a small smile and taps on the photo album.

“So when I saw this album at her place, I told her I really liked it.  Last week I mentioned I was putting together a new album for you and my old one was falling apart, so she offered it to me.  And my dad supplied some pictures that I didn’t even know he took.”

Carmilla raises an inquisitive eyebrow.  “What do you mean?”

“Let’s keep looking, shall we?”  Laura finally grins. “I’m so happy I started keeping track of when you’d travel away during the present to see me in the past.  You know-- for posterity.”

“Dork,” Carmilla teases, giving her a peck on the cheek.  She frowns. “You’re really warm.”

Laura laughs sheepishly.  “Yeah, that nap actually didn’t do much good.  But I really wanted to show you this.”

“And I’m glad you did,” Carmilla says, kissing Laura on the forehead and letting it linger for a bit.  “How about we finish dinner and call it a night?”

 

“Wait, we’re not done with the album yet!” Laura whines.

Carmilla narrows her eyes at her.  “Fine.” She frowns. “But what else could you have pictures of?”

 

Laura gestures dramatically at the album.  “ _ Well _ , for starters...”

She flips the page with flair.  It reads, “ _ April 17, 2010. Laura, 19. Carmilla, 29. Last time I saw Carmilla travel back to meet me before I met her past self. _ ”

The photo has a page to herself, and it shows Carmilla and Laura laughing together on the couch.

Carmilla lets out a shocked gasp.  “Your dad took this?”

Laura nods.

Carmilla swallows hard and looks at the picture again.  They look so naturally blissful, not knowing they were being watched.  Even knowing it would be the last time Laura would see Carmilla with this level of familiarity for a while, Laura looked light and completely at peace beside Carmilla.  And Carmilla looked completely smitten and happier than she’d ever seen herself in pictures before she met Laura.

 

The next page is a picture of Laura and Carmilla holding a copy of  _ Huntress  _ by Malinda Lo \-- the book Carmilla picked from the book share.  It’s labeled as, “ _ January 2013. Laura, 22. Carmilla, 22.  The start of a whole new Hollstein Story. _ ”

Carmilla grows quiet beside Laura and it occurs to Carmillt that once again she’s realizing that it was difficult for Laura to go from seeing a loving and warm 29-year-old Carmilla to a Carmilla who regarded her as a random patron in the library.

 

Laura gives Carmilla a small reassuring nudge with her shoulder before she flips the page to a picture of Laura and Carmilla taken by Mattie’s whose finger is slightly covering part of Laura’s face in the photo.

“I bet you Mattie did that on purpose,” Laura grumbles, and Carmilla laughs.

There’s another picture of the two of them with Mattie, taken by Kirsch.  Mattie has a polite smile on her face and is at Carmilla’s side, so Carmilla is between her and Laura.

Kirsch is in the next picture with Carmilla and Laura, making a dopey face behind them as Laura laughs.  He is subtly leaning slightly away from Carmilla, as if still slightly frightened she might beat him up and steal his clothes again.

The pages are labeled, “ _ February 2013. January 2013. Laura, 22. Carmilla, 22.  First time at a bar with Mattie. _ ”

“But not the last.  Much to her chagrin,” Laura comments, making Carmilla laugh again.

 

The next page is a few pictures from Carmilla’s twenty third birthday in 2013.  One is a group picture with Laura and Carmilla’s arms around each other’s waists and Kirsch holding up a case of beer proudly, while Danny rolls her eyes and LaF and Perry pose normally.  Mattie is drunkenly grinning on the side, leaning against the wall.

Another picture shows Carmilla blowing out the candles on her cake.  And the very last one is of Laura and Carmilla posing with the old photo album.

 

There are a couple pages marked “ _ April 2017 _ ” showing various points of view of Laura’s candlelit proposal in the park following Carmilla’s proposal in the book share.

“You really had no idea I was gonna propose that night?” Carmilla asks.

Laura laughs.  “I had no idea,” she insists.  “Your birthday had just passed and it confirmed you really weren’t going to travel again at 26 years old, which means your Future self had already told you to propose to me.  I thought maybe you were still too scared I’d say no, so I wanted to show you that I  _ wanted _ to marry you.”

“...On the same night that I wanted to show you that  _ I _ wanted to marry  _ you _ ,” Carmilla chuckles.

“Man, we got some serious stink eye from the park security that night,” Laura comments, making Carmilla laugh.  “But it was totally worth it.”

 

They turn the page and Laura grins.

“Definitely worth it.”

 

The next set of pictures is their wedding, showing a Past Laura with the Carmilla who had just traveled back to her this morning.

Walking down the aisle beside each other.

Exchanging vows.

Kissing for the first time as spouses.

Their “first dance.”

Laughing at dinner together, surrounded by friends and family.

And their actual first dance, with a Carmilla from 2020 at last replaced by the Carmilla from 2017.

 

“Good thing I showered this morning, huh?” Carmilla jokes.  “Although, Mattie was less than thrilled about my appearance, showered or no.”

“You  _ still _ didn’t think to go through with giving me a heads up, knowing i was upset?” Laura asks lightly.  “Or. Wait.  _ Did _ you?”

Carmilla smirks.  “I guess you’ll never know what this iteration of me did,” she answers vaguely.

Laura narrows her eyes in a playful glare.  “Meanie.”

“Real mature,” Carmilla comments.

Laura sticks out her tongue and turns the page dramatically, making Carmilla laugh.

 

There are pages between December 2018 and April 2019 of Laura and Carmilla in their new home.

Their first holiday season shows everyone gathered around the fireplace, on the same couch they’re sitting on now, posed for a group picture.  

Laura is amused at how they managed to fit the two of them, Mattie, Danny and Betty, LaF and Perry, Kirsch and SJ, and Sherman on or around the couch.

“You know what I never really thanked you for?” Carmilla asks softly.  

“Pretty sure you’ve thanked me for everything under the sun,” Laura teases.  “Maybe even for the sun itself.”

Carmilla chuckles and takes Laura’s hand in hers.

 

She smiles down at the pictures of them opening presents, dancing around the house, drinking and chatting, or even napping together on the couch. Through the holidays and both of their birthdays.

“Thank you for giving me a chosen family,” Carmilla says, pressing a light kiss to Laura’s fingertips.  “You, your friends, and your father have made this very lost girl feel found. It’s a family I got to choose.”

Laura beams at her.  “I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard you say something nice about my friends. Too bad I didn’t take a picture of  _ that-- _ who knows when it’ll happen again.”  Laura bursts into a fit of giggles.

“Ha. Ha,” Carmilla laughs dryly.  “Laugh it up, cupcake.”

 

They continue to peruse pictures of them all together around the fireplace, and selfies taken of Carmilla sitting next to Laura on their balcony upstairs.

 

“Kinda weird to have this here, isn’t it?” Carmilla asks after she flips the page.

Laura shrugs.  “I dunno. I thought this was kinda cute.”

She runs her hand over the newspaper article clipping from May 2019-- which shows a picture of Carmilla holding Laura in the back of an ambulance.  Laura is in her bra with a blanket thrown over her shoulders, showing the cuts that Will Luce left behind on her torso.

“Besides, it’s what got your mom to realize she could lose you at any moment and freaked her out enough to reach out to us- peacefully.”

Carmilla sighs.  “I still don’t forgive her.”

“Neither do I,” Laura admits.  “For hurting you.” She sighs. “But if this whole heart disease situation-- and your chrono-impairment-- have taught me anything, it’s that there’s no good time to give people a chance to make things right.  And I’m not saying she has, or ever will, but that’s on her to find the time to do it.”

 

She turns the page and gestures at the pictures taken less than two months before.

“And hell no I don’t forgive her for the things she did and said to you, and she’s not anywhere done making amends but...”  Laura lightly bumps her head against Carmilla’s. “At least she started.”

The pictures are taken of all their loved ones gathered to watch the vow renewal.  They’re laughing and smiling in their matching white suits.

 

“I was so scared when you told me about the RHD and the failed surgery,” Carmilla admits, her voice small as her eyes well up.  “You’re my hero, Laura Hollis.”

“And you’re mine, Crazy Naked Lady In The Park,” Laura says sweetly and warmly, making Carmilla laugh through her tears.

 

She wipes her damp cheeks.  “I can’t believe you added all these pics after I met you, too.”

Laura grins.  “Hmm… Well...”  She shows Carmilla the album cover.  Engraved on the cover is, “Hollstein, 1998-???”

“I plan to keep it going all the way, Carm.  Cross my heart. It’s you and me, together forever.”

She flips the page and shows that there are several more blank pages in the album left.

“For all of the time I know in my heart that we will have ahead of us,” Laura says.  “Because you give me the strength to stay optimistic.”

Carmilla lets out a sobbed laugh and kisses Laura on the forehead.

“Let’s get you to sleep, cupcake,” she whispers.  “We’ll dream of tomorrows and these pages being filled with our love for each other.”

Laura nods and gets up, trailed closely by Carmilla into their bedroom.

 

“Happy Birthday, Laura,” Carmilla says gently as she tucks her in.

“The next one will be even better.  I know it,” Laura mumbles before falling asleep.

 

A few hours later, she gets up to find Carmilla still isn’t in bed with her.  She quietly heads out to find Carmilla, still with the photo album.

 

 


	28. The Time Traveler's Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla returns from another trip to the past to find news about Laura that changes everything forever.

**March 2020**

 

A couple weeks before Carmilla’s birthday, Laura had complained about some chest pain, and this time they took her to LaFontaine’s lab. This made it easier to run tests and keep an eye on her condition. She had her own private room here, and there were no “visitors hours,” so Carmilla had just been staying with her all day and night.  Laura’s friends and father were dropping off things they needed, with Mattie under orders to take Carmilla out for a meal or to hang out for a bit once every other day.

The group also took turns going to the house to pick up new books off the shelf for Carmilla and Laura to read together to pass the time.

 

Although in pain and weak, Laura’s spirits remained high and bright.

 

* * *

 

**April 2020**

 

Laura planned a celebration for Carmilla’s birthday in the lab lobby, complete with decorations and a nurse dressed as a DJ playing the finest classic rock that Spotify could offer.

She had to go to bed early because she’s overexerted herself, but insisted Carmilla stay-- a request Carmilla promptly ignored, and they spent the rest of the evening curled up at each other’s side on the bed.

 

Laura woke up to find an empty bed, save for Carmilla’s clothes.

_ She didn’t take her treatment yesterday _ , Laura realizes.

 

“Good morning, honey,” Sherman greets warmly as he walks in.  He frowns when he sees Carmilla’s clothes. “How are you feeling?”

“Great! Slept well.”  Laura slowly tries to push herself up.  “I think I slept too well-- my leg and arm feel all funky.”

“Ah, the tinglies,” Sherman says, putting down a tray of coffee.  He takes one cup out and hands it to Laura before going to pull up a chair.

Laura accidentally drops the cup and frowns as the hot liquid puddles.  “I’m a mess.”

“You’re my mess, sweetie,” Sherman says, already getting a rag to wipe up the spill.

“Yurrth biss dud erver.”

Sherman looks at Laura and both of their eyes widen.

 

That’s the last coherent thing Laura remembers before losing consciousness.

 

The next thing she knows, she’s hooked up to machines and tubes, and all her friends are gathered around her, looking scared and concerned.

 

But no Carmilla.

 

Suddenly, all her fears about leaving Carmilla alone, without even giving Carmilla a chance to say goodbye, come rushing back.

 

“Welcome back, Hollis,” Danny says, her voice cracking in emotion.

Everyone looks at her, not a hint of happiness or positivity.

“Laur, it’s… not looking good,” LaFontaine starts delicately.

“Your heart isn’t strong enough to...” Mattie clears her throat.  “The science one had an idea.”

Laura isn’t able to speak so she simply looks over to LaFontaine expectantly.

 

“So with all the tests on Carm and studying the results, I surmised that the duration of her trips for us non-time travelers is affected by her heart.  Which is why a lot of your check-ups were similar to her tests. Her heart rate before and after travel affect how long she’s gone for the rest of us.” They shrug.  “I still have no idea how to control  _ when _ she leaves us or when she travels  _ to _ , but...”

LaF’s eyes light up.

“Anyway, during these past couple years, I realized that the gene for you inheriting a predisposition to RHD from your mom was a lot like an abnormal gene I’ve seen in Carm and her dad’s DNA.  I saw production of TNF-alpha and IFN-gamma which led me to conclude that the Th-1 type cytokines--”

“Can we save Laura or not?” Kirsch blurts out tearfully.

 

“I… don’t know,” LaF finally mumbles.

Perry gently pats their arm.  “What is your idea?”

“To... inject Laura with  _ Carm’s _ treatment.  It might help with the strain on her heart like it does with Carm’s.  We can do more doses and--”

Laura involuntarily tries to speak and immediately regrets it.

LaFontaine winces.

 

“I’ve done three already.”

Everyone looks at them in horror.  Except for Sherman and Mattie.

“What the hell?” Danny snaps.  “You did this without her consent?”

“I’m family,” Sherman says softly.  “I gave consent for them to give one shot.”

Laura looks from him over to Mattie, her eyes understanding.

Mattie lightly touches Laura’s shoulder.  “For everyone else-- when Laura first got admitted here, Carm said that if she were to travel, I’m her proxy for any decisions that she would’ve had to make here if she didn’t travel away.  She and Laura had me sign a legal document.”

“So Mattie and I both gave the consent to LaF, with the stipulation that if and when Laura woke up, she’d be given a choice whether to continue these treatments.” Sherman finishes.

 

Everyone regards Laura carefully.

“So… nod if you want me to continue these injections-- they seem to be working since, uh, you’re still with us,” LaFontaine states.  “And shake your head if you don’t.”

Before Laura can react, they hold up one finger.

“Let me just say the same warning I gave Carm.  I don’t know what side effects this may have. I only know it seems to be keeping you alive, but we have no idea what these injections may be doing to your cellular structure.” 

Laura looks around the room, from LaFontaine, to Perry, to Danny, to Kirsch, to her father, and finally to Mattie.

 

She nods.

  
  


After a week of these treatments, she’s no longer connected with any tubes or to any machines, and she’s making a slow lap around the lab floor with Danny and LaFontaine when she suddenly hears a piercing high-pitched ringing.  Laura gasps and clutches her head, gritting her teeth together.

“What?  What is it?” Danny yelps.  “Another stroke?”

“These aren’t signs of a stroke,” LaF rushes out.  “I don’t know what this is--”

 

Laura vanishes from sight, a pile of clothes dropping where she stood.

“Holy cytokine,” LaF gasps.

  
  


Laura reappears ten minutes later, shaking.

“Th-Th-That… w-was… u-u-u-uhm...”

By then, Mattie and Sherman had been called.  THey all help usher her back to her room and help her into bed.

“You traveled?” LaF finally asks when Perry gives them a nod that it’s socially acceptable to.

“Yes,” Laura manages to stammer out.  “Somewhere into the future where apparently time-travelers are a little more well-known about, because when I appeared in some random teenage girl was all, ‘come here often?’ and led me out of the empty parking lot I appeared in and took me to her apartment to stay until I left.”

 

“Interesting,” LaFontaine mumbles.  “I wonder how Carmilla’s heart treatment gave you chrono-impairment.  Do you feel okay? Or… I guess you wouldn’t know right now. You’d have to travel a few more times before you’d know?”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Sherman interrupts.  “I-I...” He stammers. “This is a lot right now.”

Mattie nods.  “How about we all just allow Laura to rest and maybe make sure her father doesn’t end up in a hospital bed beside her? Hmm?”

Laura lets out a small laugh.  “Yes, please.”

  
  


She travels again that evening.

 

And again the day after.

Except this time, she feels a small developing learned reaction, like turning when you hear someone call your name.

And when she closes her eyes, she feels a pull towards Carmilla- through time and space.

_ December 2018 _ , she thinks as she vanishes right as Perry is taking her breakfast.

 

* * *

 

**May 1997**

 

It takes a while to realize she’s ended up in a park behind some bushes in broad daylight.  Before she can even try to decide what to do, a small girl strolls along down the hill, grumbling to herself.

Then, Laura hears Carmilla’s voice-- or rather, Past Carmilla, calling out to who turns out to be her past little self.

 

_ I must be in May 1997 _ , Laura realizes.   _ The first time I met Carm _ .

She watches in amusement as Past Carmilla covers Past Little Laura’s mouth and is clearly trying to get her to calm down.

 

Then she notices two women hunched over behind a bush down the hill, right as one turns and points right at her.

_ What. The… _

She’s staring right at herself and another version of Carmilla.

Apparently at some point in the future, she and Carmilla must travel right back to May 1997, as well.

 

Laura gives a small hesitant wave.  Future Laura waves back. She whispers something to Future Carmilla, who also offers an awkward wave.

 

By now, Past Carmilla has clearly calmed  Past Little Laura down, and Past Little Laura runs past them to go and get Past Carmilla clothes.

Future Carmilla and Future Laura run up the hill to Laura.

“Here,” Future Laura says to her.  “Got you some clothes.”

“Thanks,” Laura replies, putting on the t-shirt and jeans handed to her.  “This is, uh, kinda weird.”

Future Laura laughs.  “It’s about to only get weirder.”

 

“When are you guys from?” Laura asks.

“November 2021,” Future Carmilla replies.  She looks around them. “Laura-- uhm, 2021 Laura, we should go back into hiding.  It’s gonna look weird that there are two Yous standing--” Her eyes widen and Future Laura grins at her.  

“See something, Carm?”

 

“Th… Th-That’s me,” Future Carmilla stammers as her eyes focus on something.

Laura frowns and she finishes putting on the clothes.  “You mean, down the hill in the bushes?”

Future Carmilla shakes her head, her mouth turning dry.

Future Laura points in the direction Future Carmilla is focusing on, Laura slowly turns.  “All I see down the hill is some little girl putting down her backpack and pulling out a book about constella--”  Her mouth drops open. “Oh.”

She lets out a small gasp.

“Oh, my god.  Carm, is that you in this time?”

Future Carmilla nods, clearly still in shock.

 

“Wait.  Wait a  _ minute _ ,” Laura exclaims as something clicks in her mind.  “I recognize this girl! I remember seeing her in my grade and always being in awe that she was always reading about stars and...”  She shakes her head. “But we’re not the same age. How were we in the same grade?!”

“I...”  Future Carmilla swallows hard.  “After my dad died at the end of 1995, I couldn’t focus in school and had to be held back a year.  After a couple years, I got back on track for my age, so they put me back in the grade I was supposed to be in.  Another reason I didn’t have a lot of friends..”

Laura is still processing.  “But I don’t remember anyone in school named Carmilla.”

Future Carmilla swallows hard.  “I was born Mircalla Morgan. I legally changed my name in high school to defy my mother.  It’s what started that final big fight when I ran away for good.”

 

Laura bunches up her face in concentration.  “So… could this be why our lives are so intertwined?”

“She gets it,” Future Laura giggles.

“Well, I don’t,” Future Carmilla grumbles.

Laura gestures around them.  “I mean… There’s three versions of all of us in this park,” she comments.  “Both of us as children in 1997, you from 2013 hiding in the bushes, me from 2020, and you both from 2021.  If the very first iterations of us all managed to do this, then couldn’t the Universe have started some grand scheme of sending different versions of us on some loop across time so that we’d keep meeting over and over?”

 

“Think on that for the next year and a half,” Future Laura says to herself.  “And see you around, coz we might start to get those looks from people that Carm was worried about.”

Future Laura drags Future Carmilla back down the hill and across the path.  Just as they take their spot behind the tree, Past Little Laura comes running back, clothes in hand for Past Carmilla.

Laura watches them speak for a bit as Past Carmilla clearly starts annoying Past Little Laura, who stomps her feet and seems irritated that Past Carmilla begins following her.  The two of them sit down on a bench to talk.

 

She also watches as her future self is conversing with Future Carmilla down the hill.

 

Past Little Laura, inspired by whatever Past Carmilla just told her, runs off to go and rejoin the birthday party celebration.

 

Future Carmilla and Future Laura continue to whisper in the shadows, and share a loving kiss.

 

And then she travels away again.

* * *

  
  


**April 2020**

 

After Laura returns and tells LaFontaine she think she control her traveling more than Carmilla can, they launch into full science mode, bursting with theories about the implications this could have on maybe helping Carmilla control hers.

 

Laura travels again the following day, trying her best again this time to aim for Carmilla in December 2018.  She’s successful, in a way, but watches as Carmilla vanishes before her eyes, leaving Past Laura behind at the end of a house tour to confirm that this is the house they want.

Which means Carmilla just traveled back to April 2020.  It takes a couple hours, but she finally travels away, too.

 

_ “Wh-What idea?” _ Laura hears Carmilla’s voice whisper in horror.

_ “Well… Uhm… Don’t f-freak out...” _

 

Laura realizes she must’ve appeared, because suddenly everyone is staring at her-- Carmilla included.

 

“Well, that was a rush,” Laura manages to mumble before her knees give out.

A shocked Carmilla manages to catch her and hold her up.

Mattie walks over with a change of clothes that had been folded up on the bed.  “Welcome back, Hollis.”

 

Carmilla gapes at Laura as she slowly gets dressed.  She remains speechless until Laura is fully clothed, and even then all she can manage is stammering, “I-I… H-How?”

Laura winces and looks over to LaFontaine.  “Uhm, I’m kinda still adjusting. LaF, can you…?”

 

They clear their throat and nod.  “Right, right. So I know you never really cared for the science mumbo-jumbo about what your treatment is.  But after all those tests on you, I narrowed down that the duration of your trips for us non-time travelers is affected by your heart.  Which is why a lot of Laura’s check-ups were similar to your tests. Your heart rate before and after travel affect how long you’re gone for us.”  They shrug. “I still have no idea how to control when  _ you _ leave us or when you travel to, but...”

LaF gestures at Laura.  They seem frustrated.

“This next part, I got lectured for using too much scientific jargon last time I explained.  Someone help.”

Laura clears her throat and meets Carmilla’s gaze.

“LaF’s idea was to inject me with  _ your _ treatment.  They figured it might help with the strain on my heart like it does with yours.  So they did one dose and it kept me alive and kicking and then they did another and eventually I got well enough to wake up and consent to continuing the treatment.  And clearly it still worked because… I’m still here.”

 

LaF nods.  “During these past couple years, I realized that the gene for Laura inheriting a predisposition to RHD from her mom was a lot like an abnormal gene I’ve seen in Carm and her dad’s DNA.  They’re not exactly the same, but… Well, they both have to deal with cytokine production--”

Laura clears her throat to politely interrupt.

“Basically after almost a week of these treatments, something in it triggered something in me.  And I traveled.”

She lets Carmilla sit with this for a bit before speaking again.

“It was, ah, weird.  There was  this high-pitched ringing and my started body tingling.  It was like... my entire existence was being pulled apart and instantly put back together. ”

 

Carmilla doesn’t say anything, just staring down at her hands in her lap.

“Can you all give us a moment?” Laura asks.

Mattie is the first to get up, with Perry grabbing LaFontaine to follow her out when she realizes they’ve become engrossed in their computer screen.

 

Once Mattie closes the door behind her, Laura lets out a sigh.  “Carm? Are you mad at me?”

“What?  No!” Carmilla replies immediately.  “I… God, if you hadn’t done this, I would’ve come back to you dea…  I  _ thought _ I came back to you dea...d.”

Laura nods, but doesn’t push for Carmilla to talk again until she’s ready.

 

Carmilla takes a few long, shaky breaths.

“You were supposed to stay safe.  You were supposed to have nice little life outside of my weirdness, Laura.”

Laura huffs out a small laugh.   **“** Yeah… Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have been me.”

 

Carmilla shakes her head.  “No.  No!  This is NOT how your story ends!  Screw that.  Screw giving up!  Screw just letting go!”

“We’re not letting go or giving up,” Laura says gently.  “We just… have to adjust. Together. You’ve come so far since that day in the library when you met me and…  I’m so proud of you.”   
Carmilla sniffles.  “You’re not worried about how we’ll spend our lives together?”   
“I figure any two people in a relationship, their lives move at different speeds.  That isn’t the part that matters.”  She pats Carmilla’s leg.  “This, here, right now.  This is what matters.” Laura takes Carmilla’s hand in hers.  “And I love you.”   
**“** I love you, too, ” Carmilla replies with a sob, giving Laura’s hand a squeeze.

 

She sighs.  “ Goddamnit.  Of all the imbecilic, idiot, suicidal … you just had to go and get yourself turned into a time traveler.”  Then something occurs to her, and her eyes widen in horror. “Oh, God, what if we both keep traveling away from each other? ”

Laura laughs, and then laughs harder at Carmilla’s bewildered look.

“Ah, we didn’t get that far in our explanation, I guess.”

Laura takes a deep breath.

 

“Carm… I can control when and where I travel to.”

 

Carmilla’s mouth drops open.  “W-Wh...What?”

“We think it’s whatever that slight difference is in that gene that LaF was talking about.  The first couple times I traveled, I was too overwhelmed. But then it was like this weird instinct.  Sort of like learning to cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze. Like a reflex or muscle I’d never known I had.  And the next time I traveled I was somehow able to try and target my destination. I tried aiming myself to you knowing you’d traveled to December 2018,  but instead I ended up… ...Well, that’s spoilers.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow and Laura giggles.

“So the time after that I tried again and I had just missed you doing the house tours with Past Me.”

Carmilla stares at her, slowly working through everything Laura had just told her.

 

“Carm, LaF thinks that maybe if they can run some more tests on us… maybe they can figure out how your heart treatment gave me chrono-impairment and how my gene can control where and when we travel to and… you’ll be able to control it, too.”

Laura offers a small smile.

“Then we won’t have to worry about either of us traveling away from the other ever again.  No more waiting-- for the rest of our lives. It’s also probably why I’ve never seen you past this age.”

 

“As great as that sounds… I still didn’t want you to be doomed like me,” Carmilla sighs.

“ At least we’re together.  I don’t want to be doomed with anyone but you,” Laura says sweetly.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Cross your heart?”

Laura nods.  “Cross my heart and hope to travel.”

 

She leans forward and captures Carmilla’s lips in a kiss, laughing when Carmilla pulls her in closer.

Carmilla pulls away first and looks annoyed.  “Dammit. I’m traveling again. All of this excitement must’ve been too much before that dose LaF gave me kicked in.”

 

She starts to fade from view and Laura grins at her.  **“** Race you!”

Carmilla’s laughter fades with her as she vanishes before Laura’s eyes.

 

And Laura smiles, collecting the pile of clothes left behind, and carefully putting the wedding ring in Carmilla’s pocket.

Because now, Carmilla too is a time traveler’s wife.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	29. The Picture Perfect Day At the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adjusting to the new situation, Laura learns why her fate has been intertwined with Carmilla's, and someone else's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real reason for this time traveling loop.  
> It's a bit of a doozy, but it's what I've always had in mind since I started writing this crazy fic.  
> Shoutout to [M_reader](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/226131850) for figuring this one out.

**November 2021**

 

A few weeks after Carmilla had returned to find Laura could time travel in April 2020, LaFontaine had found a way to begin altering Carmilla’s treatment so maybe she could also target where and when she travels to.

True to form, Carmilla tuned them out when they explained how, but it had something to do with alleles.

 

In the past year and a half, Carmilla had continued to struggle with this.  LaF surmised that it might be that the time traveling is like a “muscle”-- Carmilla had been using hers for so long that suddenly trying to get her condition to do something new would take more time than Laura, who had figured out how to control her time traveling from the start.

Laura’s travels were pretty periodic - once a month or so, and she was usually able to be back before Carmilla even noticed she was gone.

 

Her eyes would light up as she talked of her travels-- most of them were to go back and see Carmilla’s childhood somehow, but she never dared to interact with her.  And a few had been to go back and observe her own mother. Those stories were Carmilla’s favorites.

 

The time they did have in their present time was usually spent working, or out and about, enjoying the freedom of living in the moment, or spending time with Sherman.  They traveled around the world on one-way plane tickets and daydreamed about how one day, Carmilla’s condition would be under control enough that they could start their family.

 

Carmilla’s traveling became less and less frequent again with the treatments, but when she did travel, Laura found herself getting better and better at finding Carmilla.

* * *

  
  


**May 1997**

 

“Whoa,” Laura says as she gets her bearings.

“This attic is starting to become a motel for time travelers,” Carmilla comments from beside her.

 

Laura looks around the attic and her eyes widen as she takes it all in.  “This is before my mom died,” she comments, noting that none of her mom’s clothes are up here.

Carmilla nods gravely, having already wandered around the house while waiting for Laura to appear. “May 1997.” 

“Wait!  Oh my god!  We have to get dressed and get to the park!” Laura squeals excitedly, grabbing the clothes Carmilla must’ve gotten from Laura’s mother’s room while waiting for her.

She makes a detour on their way downstairs to get more clothes.

“What is that for?” Carmilla asks.

 

“Come  _ on _ !” Laura says insistently, tugging Carmilla out the front door while ignoring her question.  “To the park!”

“Calm down, cupcake,” Carmilla grumbles, almost losing her footing as she’s dragged down the street by Laura.  “What is the goddamn hurry?”

Laura does slow down, mostly because they’re getting looks.  “You’ll seeee,” she replies excitedly, bouncing into the park.

 

She stops short and tugs Carmilla back when they see Past Carmilla appear behind the shrubbery.  It takes her a moment before Past Carmilla realizes where she is, and frantically looks around for some clothes.

“Damn, do I always look so confused?” Carmilla whispers as they duck behind a tree.

Laura giggles and nods.  “It’s endearing.”

“Nuh uh,” Carmilla grumbles.

 

It doesn’t take long for a small girl to come strolling down the path, angrily grumbling to herself.

Past Carmilla calls out to Past Little Laura, startling the girl.  Past Carmilla takes a step towards her and Past Little Laura starts to yell until Past  Carmilla lunges forward and clamps her hand over her mouth and muffes her scream.

“Way to scar a tiny six year old for life,” Laura mumbles under her breath.

Carmilla chuckles.  “You know, we still never figured out why our lives were intertwined from this moment on.  I’ve traveled back dozens of times and interacted with plenty of people and, other than Mattie, I never traveled back to see them over and over again.  Or why you’re able to travel back into  _ my _ life.”

Laura grins.  “I have an idea why.”

 

She points up the hill behind Past Carmilla’s shrubbery and Carmilla squints before her mouth drops open.

“What the time traveling hell?”

Laura laughs.  “This is when I traveled to in April last year when I went looking for you to tell you I could time travel now, too.”

They continue looking up the hill and after a few moments, Past Adult Laura spots them in confusion.  She gives a small hesitant wave. Laura waves back.

“Stop being rude.  Wave,” Laura snaps at Carmilla, who offers an awkward wave.

“So when you traveled back in April 2020, you  _ did _ find me.  Just not the me from April 2020,” Carmilla clarifies.

Laura nods.  “There’s someone else here we should see, but it won’t be for a bit.”

 

By now, Past Carmilla has clearly pacified  Past Little Laura, and Past Little Laura runs past them to go and get Past Carmilla clothes.

Carmilla and Laura run up the hill to Past Adult Laura.

“Here,” Laura says to Past Adult Laura, following what she saw her future self do when she was in this position.  “Got you some clothes.”

“Thanks,” her past self says.  “This is, uh, kinda weird.”

Laura laughs.  “It’s about to only get weirder.”

 

“When are you guys from?” Past Adult Laura asks.

“November 2021,” Carmilla replies.  She looks around them. “Laura-- uhm, 2021 Laura, we should go back into hiding.  It’s gonna look weird that there are two Yous standing--” Her eyes widen and Laura grins at her.  

“See someone, Carm?”

 

“Th… Th-That’s me,” Carmilla stammers as her eyes focus on something.

Past Adult Laura frowns.  “You mean, down the hill in the bushes?”

Carmilla shakes her head, her mouth turning dry.

Laura points in the direction Carmilla is focusing on, and Past Adult Laura slowly turns.  “All I see down the hill is a little girl putting down her backpack and pulling out a book about constella--”  Her mouth drops open. “Oh.”

She lets out a small gasp.

“Oh, my god.  Carm, is that you in this time?”

Carmilla nods, clearly still in shock.

 

“Wait.  Wait a  _ minute _ ,” Past Adult Laura exclaims as something clicks in her mind.  “I recognize this girl! I remember seeing her in my grade and always being in awe that she was always reading about stars and...”  She shakes her head. “But we’re not the same age. How were we in the same grade?!”

“I...”  Carmilla swallows hard.  “After my dad died at the end of 1995, I couldn’t focus in school and had to be held back a year.  After a couple years, I got back on track for my age, so they put me back in the grade I was supposed to be in.  Another reason I didn’t have a lot of friends..”

Past Adult Laura is still processing.  “But I don’t remember anyone in school named Carmilla.”

Carmilla swallows hard.  “I was born Mircalla Morgan.  I legally changed my name in high school to defy my mother.  It’s what started that final big fight when I ran away for good.”

 

Past Adult Laura bunches up her face in concentration.  “So… could this be why our lives are so intertwined?”

“She gets it,” Laura giggles.

“Well, I don’t,” Carmilla grumbles.

Past Adult Laura gestures around them.  “I mean… There’s three versions of all of us in this park,” she comments.  “Both of us as children in 1997, you from 2013 hiding in the bushes, me from 2020, and you both from 2021.  If the very first iterations of us all managed to do this, then couldn’t the Universe have started some grand scheme of sending different versions of us on some loop across time so that we’d keep meeting over and over?”

 

“Think on that for the next year and a half,” Laura says to herself.  “And see you around, coz we might start to get those looks from people that Carm was worried about.”

Laura drags Carmilla back down the hill and across the path.  Just as they take their spot behind the tree, Past Little Laura comes running back, clothes in hand for Past Carmilla.

Laura and Carmilla watch them speak for a bit as Past Carmilla clearly starts annoying Past Little Laura, who stomps her feet and seems irritated that Past Carmilla begins following her.  The two of them sit down on a bench to talk.

 

“You’ve been sitting on the knowledge that our lives have actually been intersecting since before May 1997 for the past year and a half?” Carmilla asks incredulously, once they’ve made sure they’re out of sight of Past Carmilla.

“Why do you think I’ve been babbling about everything else?” Laura jokes.  “Didn’t wanna spoil the surprise.”

Carmilla shakes her head with a chuckle.  “Well, mission successful.”

 

They watch as Past Little Laura, inspired by whatever Past Carmilla just told her, runs off to go and rejoin the birthday party celebration.

“It’s kinda funny,” Carmilla says, noting that Past Adult Laura is still watching them from afar since Past Carmilla remains nearby, “I used to be so terrified of losing you.  But now I know that even if the whole world burns, I won’t lose you again.  The Universe would just keep bringing us back together. ”  She laughs softly.  “Hell, if even gave me three of you at once.”

Laura leans forward and captures Carmilla’s lips, deepening the kiss when she feels Carmilla smile against her.

 

“Now it’s just two of me,” Laura whispers, pointing up the hill.  Carmilla turns and sees that Past Adult Laura has vanished.

Carmilla looks back at Laura and smiles.  “The Universe just can’t handle three Laura Hollises being in the same place at the same time for too long.”

 

“Excuse me,” a woman says.  Laura’s eyes widen and Carmilla frowns when it looks like Laura is about to faint.

Carmilla turns and she can understand Laura’s reaction.

 

“H...Hi,” the woman says, slightly confused by Laura and Carmilla’s reactions.  “Uhm, I hope you don’t mind, but the two of you were in the group picture I just took of my daughter celebrating a friend’s birthday.”

When it’s obvious Laura isn’t capable of speaking, Carmilla clears her throat.  “That’s okay.”

“Oh, good.  I just really wanted to get the skyline in frame in the background.  But didn’t wanna be a creeper without getting your consent since, y’know, consent is important.”  The woman pauses. “Actually, do you mind if you take a picture of me and my daughter?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Carmilla replies sincerely.

 

“Great!”  The woman cups her hands around her mouth.  “Laura, honey! Can you come over here for a second?”

Past Little Laura comes running over, cake smeared on her cheek.  “Yes, mommy?”

Eileen laughs and kisses her clean cheek.  “You’re a mess, dear. But you’re my mess.”  She hands Carmilla the camera.

“You changed your clothes,” Past Little Laura says, confused.

Carmilla and Laura share a look.

 

“Well, uh, yeah.  Don’t you?” Carmilla asks.

Past Little Laura frowns, clearly knowing something is up that she doesn’t quite understand.

“Pose for a picture with me, please?” Eileen asks.

Past Little Laura huffs.  “Another one?”

“Yes, yes.  I know. But come on, it’s a nice day.”  Eileen looks back at Carmilla and Laura. “I just love taking pictures.  My husband jokes that our daughter will end up camera-obsessed like me.”

Laura finally finds the strength to speak.  “She should be so lucky,” she says sweetly.

“Well, it seems fitting since I got my love for photography from my mother,” Eileen laughs, and Carmilla smiles at how much Laura’s laugh resembles hers.

 

Carmilla holds out the camera.  “La…  _ She’s _ actually a way better photographer than I am,” she comments.

Laura takes it carefully and swallows hard.

“You can do this, cupcake,” Carmilla says softly to her.

Laura nods and peers through the viewfinder, zooming and working on the focusing.  Her finger hovers over the shutter button and trembles. Holding her breath, she finally presses it.

“Thank you so much,” Eileen says, taking the camera back.  “You can go back to your friends, honey,” she says to Past Little Laura.

“Okay, mommy.  Love youuuu!” she yells as she runs off.

 

Carmilla chuckles and realizes Eileen is still standing near them.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you around before,” she says.

“We’re just passing through the area,” Carmilla says carefully.

Eileen looks over at Laura.  “This might be weird, but even though I know I’ve never seen you around here before, I feel like we’ve met.”

“M-Must be one of those faces,” Laura laughs nervously.  “Or, uhm. Two.”

“Must be,” Eileen replies slowly.

 

She cocks her head to the side and smiles, and Carmilla can’t ignore that it’s Laura’s same exact smile.

“This birthday party doesn’t seem to be winding down any time soon.  Want to keep chatting? Unless you have somewhere to go. It’s perfectly fine if you do.  I’m just some stranger in the park, after all.”

Carmilla smiles when she realizes Laura also got her rambling from her.  She looks over at Laura, who nods shyly before blurting out an enthusiastic, “Yeah! Okay!”

“I’d like that very much,” Carmilla chuckles.

 

They spent a couple hours chatting with Eileen.

Laura blurts out that her name is Buffy in a panic, blushing when Carmilla lets out a snort.  After that she manages to calm down and talk about her job as a journalist and her dabbling in photography and video diaries, stumbling a bit before lying over their formatting.  For once, Carmilla’s truth is easier to tell, and soon enough the sun is beginning to set as kids and their parents start leaving the party.

 

Past Little Laura comes running over, holding a small party favor bag.  “I thought you were supposed to hide in the bushes.”

Carmilla clears her throat when Eileen raises an eyebrow at her.

“You’re right.  Let’s go play hide-and-seek,” Carmilla manages to think up as she gestures for Past Little Laura to follow her.

 

Laura awkwardly clears her throat and offers a nervous smile to Eileen, who lets out a small laugh.

“Relax, Laura.”

“I  _ am _ relaxed,” Laura insists before realizing what Eileen just said.  “Wait. No. M-My name is...”

Eileen lets out a chuckle.  “You’re Laura Hollis. A time-traveler from… Mmm… 2021?  You and Carmilla Karnstein.”

Laura stares at her, mouth wide open.

“Ask me how I know,” Eileen says with a wink.

“H-How...” Laura manages to stammer, throat dry.

 

Eileen’s smile is genuine and warm, relaxing Laura.  “Sometime, in the near future for you, Carmilla’s mother will find an abandoned baby outside her office.  This baby will have  the marker for chrono-impairment.  She will bring this baby to you and Carmilla, and you will adopt her.  And you give her the most loving and happy home. Oh  _ goodness _ , will you give her the most loving and happy home. ”

Laura feels her breath catch in her throat, a feeling of happiness growing too big for her chest.  “You… You’re saying….”

 

“I’m saying I know you lost your mother-- me-- young. But I promise you, you’ll make so many more great memories with Eileen Hollstein.”

Laura swallows hard.  “But. But. How are you here?  And if you know what’s gonna happen, why...”  Her voice cracks. “Why don’t you do something about it?”

 

“First question is probably the toughest.  I… never felt comfortable in the future. Don’t get me wrong-- when I was with you and Mom, I loved it.  But otherwise, I never felt like I was in the right  _ time _ .”  Eileen sighs.  “So when I finally traveled for the first time and you both offered me a chance to control it, I turned it down.  Being freed from the constraints of time and space felt like too good of a gift to waste.”

“You never took the treatment?  Ever?” Laura asks.

Eileen shakes her head.  “My trips away from my time were longer than the time I’d spend in it.  As long as, y’know, it didn’t affect my schoolwork. And I still loved spending time with you two, so I’d return for holidays and such.”  She laughs. “Plus, I got to see you travel for the first time.”

 

Laura’s eyes widen.  “The young lady who invited me back to her apartment. Th-That was you?”

Eileen nods.

Her smile slowly fades.  “Then one day, a little over ten years ago for me, I traveled to 1985.  And I kept waiting to travel back, but...”

“You got stuck here?” Laura gasps.

“I’m not sure ‘stuck’ is the right word,” Eileen states.  “A couple weeks after I traveled here, I met this sweet, funny man.  He didn’t make me feel like an outsider, and he was kind. He lived near the 24-hour photo I worked at, and frequented the pharmacy it was in.  After months of flirting, he asked me out. And I found out his name was Sherman.”

Laura remains silent, trying to process all this.

“I fell in love with the gentle man so hard, and when I never traveled away, it felt like… fate.  I mean, I’d never seen picturs of him with-- well, with hair,” Eileen laughs. “He looked so different and I didn’t realize who he was until he asked me out.”

Laura nods in amusement.  She’d seen a faded picture of him with hair only once and he insisted he never liked having his picture taken, so she should feel privileged there was one at all.

 

“But I want you to know that when I do eventually travel away to this time, it won’t be the last time we see each other.  You and mom travel back to see me all the time.” Eileen chuckles. “Usually more on purpose than this visit.” She gently pats Laura on the knee.  “Just make sure you save up your temporal frequent flier miles for the 2050s.”

Laura huffs out a chuckle.  “Carm’s gonna flip when I tell her.”

Eileen hums and looks pensive.  “I don’t know if you ever told her.  She was always such a nervous wreck about me traveling.  She even came with me a couple times until I begged her to stop.  Kinda regret doing that, now.”

 

A thought occurs to Laura and her eyes well up.  “When you die here, that means...”

“Laura, I know you’ve had this theory that the Universe keeps bringing you and mom together just for the reason to bring you two together,” Eileen says endearingly, “but I’d like to venture that you two have been trying to find a way to reunite our family permanently in one time period and the Universe is giving you every chance to do that.”

“What if… we never find it?” Laura asks, feeling like a small scared child.

Eileen laughs.  “You’re Laura Hollis and Carmilla Karnstein.”  She smiles warmly. “Your story is that you make each other stronger.  I might be biased, but I think together, you’re stronger than even time and space itself.”

 

Before they can speak further, there’s sounds of aggravated footsteps down the path. Past Little Laura is stomping away from Carmilla, and they’re both clearly irritated with each other.

“That was quick,” Eileen comments.

“I wanna go home now,” Past Little Laura declares before walking to leave the park.

Eileen laughs.  “Okay, okay. Guess my fearless leader has given me my orders.”

She smiles at Laura and Carmilla.

 

“It was lovely meeting you two and chatting with you.  You’re both such fun and wonderful women.”

“Nice to meet you,” Carmilla says when Laura doesn’t reply right away.

Laura swallows hard.  “I’m grateful we saw you today, too. You’re a… You are such a strong, warm, powerful woman,” she says, trying to keep her voice from cracking.  “And your daughter is lucky to have a role model like you.”

“Thank you so much.  I’m lucky to have her,” Eileen says, a twinkle in her eyes. “Speaking of her, I should catch up to her before my husband finds out I wasn’t glued to her side the entire time and he has a conniption.”

 

She flashes another beaming smile and then waves as she goes to exit the park.

 

Laura stares as the footsteps fade away.  She decides she needs to process everything she just learned about her mother-- and their future-- before telling Carmilla.

Carmilla stands there for a bit before quietly taking Laura’s hand.

“That was…”  Laura laughs softly and brings Carmilla’s hand up to her lips and presses a kiss against it.  “I mean,  _ me _ being the one to take my favorite picture of my mom and me?  I know that there’s a scientific reason for our time traveling, but I’m convinced that was magic.”

“I would agree,” Carmilla says sincerely.

 

They walk over to a park bench and sit.

“I just wish I could control when and where I end up,” Carmilla sighs.

“You’ll figure it out.  And I’ll be right with you every step of the way,” Laura comments, leaning her head on Carmilla’s shoulder.  Carmilla chuckles, and leans her head on Laura’s.

 

A few moments pass in peaceful silence before Laura looks up to find Carmilla’s eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“What’s with the bump, grump?” Laura asks, making Carmilla chuckle again.

“I was just thinking how… before I met you, I felt like I didn’t have a home.  And then I met you and I felt like I always had a home to travel back to.”

Laura frowns and gently pulls away.  “‘Felt?’ You don’t feel that way anymore?”

Carmilla shakes her head.  “Because now I know that you being in my life doesn’t mean I have to go somewhere-- or somewhen-- to go home.  The feeling of home you gave me goes with me.”

“Literally,” Laura teases.

Carmilla laughs and shakes her head again.  “I mean, yes. You literally following me through time and space is a bit more on the nose.  But even before you got chrono-impairment to treat your heart disease… I felt it. Whether I traveled to see you or not, it always felt like you were with me.”

 

Carmilla leans forward and Laura meets her halfway for a loving kiss.

 

They stay on the bench well after the sun has gone down.  And then suddenly, both vanish minutes apart. And all that’s left is two piles of clothes.

 

From two time-traveling wives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	30. The Happy Iteration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not the end.

**????**

  
  


With continued treatment, Carmilla’s traveling becomes less frequent than Laura’s, who remains traveling away once a month like clockwork.  After Carmilla finally learns to handle when and where she travels to, LaFontaine develops a drug that can force Carmilla to travel.

 

She and Laura begin to set predetermined destinations to meet each other throughout time and space.  Laura starts vlogging stories of their adventures, adding a “#HollsteinTravels” hashtag. Carmilla continues to insist they should be called “Karnlis.” 

After a couple years of this, they finally decide to tackle the biggest point on their planned life together-- a child.

Carmilla is the first to bring it up after seeing Laura interact with children for a story she’s working on regarding introducing healthier snacks in vending machines, and Laura’s curiosity about what she learned in the park jumps into her mind.  She’d decided to wait until they at least actually had a child before looping Carmilla in on this and potentially disrupting a timeline she so desperately wanted to happen. Especially since, as Eileen had told her, Carmilla is already jittery about having a time traveling child in the future.

 

Laura does, however, tell LaFontaine.

 

LaFontaine’s chrono-impairment/RHD study grows, and Perry and Danny’s mother are in charge with helping them with finding new people to bring into it and administer treatments to.  Carmilla’s mother pours funding from her company into it.

One late summer night in the office, Lilita Morgan leaves her headquarters to find an abandoned baby carriage with an infant inside mysteriously left outside of her door, with a simple namecard that reads, “Eileen.”  Security camera footage shows a scared young woman, and LaFontaine’s tests confirm that this baby has the marker for chrono-impairment.

 

Still working to right her many wrongs, Lilita tells Carmilla and Laura, who immediately agree to adopt her and keep her name.  Before the adoption is finalized, they reach the decision that they will teach her about chrono-impairment by the time she starts school.

Maybe by then, Laura will have a better feel for telling Carmilla before Eileen travels away for good.

 

Seeing her mother as a child feels mind-boggling.  Her mother had always given Laura the impression of being a wild and loving spirit, but apparently these traits were even stronger as a child.

 

The month before Eileen starts school, Laura and Carmilla have the talk with her to explain chorno-impairment.  As expected, Eileen seems excited at the prospect.

Carmilla explains the dangers, but also how magical their condition can be.  She even asks Laura to pull out the Hollstein Photo Album, and begins telling Eileen the story about how her mothers met.

 

That night, curled up beside each other in bed, Laura wrings her hand nervously.

Carmilla looks up from the book she’s reading.  “What’s with the anxiety huff, creampuff?”

“She’s my mom,” Laura manages to mumble.

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow.  “Huh?”

“Eileen.  The name, i-it isn’t just a coincidence.  She’s… she will be my mom.”

Carmilla drops her book.  “ _What_?”

 

"That’s what my mom told me after you took Little Me away for a walk when we traveled to May 1997.  That she’s actually our kid from the future, but she never bothered getting the chrono-impairment treatments because she loved traveling so much.  One day, she traveled and she just… got stuck. She thinks the reason the Universe put us into this time loop is to keep giving us chances to be reunited as a family.”

Carmilla swallows hard.  “We can’t _make_ her take this treatment.”

“No, we can’t,” Laura sighs.  “I’ve been wrestling with thinking of a solution for this for years and, even if we decide to take her choice away and do that, then that means she’ll never travel back and meet my dad and have me.”  She buries her face in her hands. “LaF and I keep coming up empty.”

 

Carmilla sighs.  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because, my mom-- Eileen told me that, in her timeline, you didn’t handle her traveling too well.  You even went on trips with her against her wishes. I didn’t want to freak you out until I knew for sure that that lovely girl we adopted was...”  Laura lets out a long breath. “But the moment she started talking, I knew. And I knew I had to tell you. But I wanted you to enjoy the time before we inevitably had to deal with the reality that we have a child with chrono-impairment.”

Carmilla inhales deeply.  “I want to be upset you hid this from me, but...”  She smooths the blanket under her hands. “...I think I really did enjoy these few years of pretending like she doesn’t have a future of impermanence ahead of her.”

“Seeing you explain the good parts of our condition tonight just reminded me of how much you’ve grown since you first met me,” Laura explains.  “I wonder if other iterations of you did the same, because my mom made it sound like I might not have told you in her iteration.”

 

Carmilla hums.  “So what you’re saying is, what the Universe has _really_ been giving us all these chances for is an opportunity for me to chill the fuck out?”

Laura laughs at that and, for the first time in years, she feels lighter.

“Laura,” Carmilla says softly.  “We’re gonna figure it out this time.”

Laura snuggles up to Carmilla’s side.  “We will.”

  


Eileen travels for the first time at age six.

 

For the first time, Carmilla sees what Laura is like waiting for a time traveler to return, and has an entirely new appreciation for her ability to stay busy without it seeming like she’s throwing herself into things just to avoid thinking about the other person.

 

When Eileen returns days later, she seems discombobulated, but otherwise calm.  She claims that “both mommy and mom helped me understand what’s going on.”

From what they can tell, she traveled to the future, but they don’t know to when.  In fact, she approaches her traveling with the same wide-eyed adventurous spirit as Laura.  They give her the option to take the same treatment as them to help control the traveling, but she seems excited at the possibilities, so for now they allow her to explore time and space on her own.

 

The first few times, Carmilla is a scared mess, going from moments of panic and anxiety to diving into her books.

Whenever Laura catches her doing either of these things, she puts her work aside and takes Carmilla out to their balcony, and they curl up against each other on the chaise, reading books from the bookshelf together until she can feel Carmilla relax.

Laura reminds Carmilla that Eileen will be okay, that the Universe didn’t bring them all together to end it before Eileen even reaches young adulthood.

 

More at ease, Carmilla teaches Eileen how to pick locks and other useful skills, just in case.  Laura enrolls her in krav maga classes.

 

And for years, they allow Eileen the freedom to live as herself, with a welcoming home and two loving mothers wait for her return every time.

 

“Hey, Carm,” Laura calls out, typing away at her latest article.  “Have you seen Eileen this morning?”

Carmilla walks in with a cup of coffee for herself, and another one for Laura.  “She traveled away last night after you went to bed.”

Laura nods and gives her a grateful smile as she takes the coffee refill.

 

“Whatcha writing about?” Carmilla asks, settling in across the dining room table from Laura.

“Anniversary of the apprehension of the Goat Kidnapper,” Laura says, pausing her typing.  “I struck a deal with all those big newspapers to let me post my story to my blog, and they’ll get to share the post to their sites so we can split the traffic.”

Carmilla smiles.  “That’s nice. Kinda scared to ask but, this means you’re gonna visit Will, aren’t you?”

Laura laughs nervously as she stares into her coffee cup.

“Laura...”  Carmilla narrows her eyes suspiciously.  “What did you do?”

“I may have gone yesterday to see him...”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “You did _what_?”

“Mattie whisked you away for a sisters’ bonding day, and I got the confirmation about the post after you left, so... ”  Laura huffs. “She who jumps into sister bonding days with no warning does not get to whine about her butt-hurt.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Oh, is that so?”

Laura nods seriously.  “Yes. It is a very well-known fact that…”  She clears her throat adorably. “...I just made up right now.”

“Oh really?” Carmilla asks with a grin.

Laura nods again.  “Yes,” she repeats.

“Yeah?  You just make up all the rules now?” Carmilla continues, getting up and approaching Laura, who’s smirking.

“Well, that’s what happens when one of us clearly mastered this time-traveling thing much faster,” Laura teases.

Carmilla laughs while leaning in for a kiss and Laura meets her halfway.

 

“M-Mommy?” a small voice asks from the doorway.

Laura’s eyes snap open and she pulls away from Carmilla.

“Eileen?” Laura frowns, noting that this girl is not the teenager who she saw last night before she went to bed.

The girl looks terrified as Laura runs to grab a blanket off the couch and wraps it around her, noting that the pile of clothes left behind would be too big on her and a blanket might feel more welcoming and safe.

Carmilla walks off to the kitchen.

 

“Eileen, sweetie,” Laura says softly, “how old are you?”

“Si-Six,” Eileen sniffles.

Laura nods.  “You’ve just time-traveled for the first time.”

The little child’s eyes widen.  “I did?”

“Yes.  Lucky for all of us, you teleported right back to us in the future,” Laura says, realizing why Eileen returned from her first trip both calm and excited.

 

Carmilla returns with a small cup of hot cocoa.

“You remember all the things we told you about traveling, right, cupcake?” Carmilla asks, handing it to her as they sit her down by the fireplace.

Eileen nods seriously.  “I can’t control when or where I go, especially my first time.  After that, it’ll be my choice if I want to take some medication like you two do.  I can’t take anything with me when I travel. I won’t know how long I’ll be gone or when I’ll get back to my time.  And I shouldn’t tell anyone I see what I can do unless it’s someone I know can be trusted.”

Laura kisses the top of her head.  “Are you scared? It’s okay if you are.”

“A little,” Eileen sniffles.

“I was really, really scared when I traveled,” Carmilla says gently, kneeling down in front of her.  “So you’re braver than I am. Just like your mommy.”

Eileen beams at Carmilla, a smile just like Laura’s.  “But you stopped being scared when you met Mommy!”

Carmilla laughs.  “I did. Coz your mommy is amazing.”

“Your mom is also pretty darn amazing,” Laura says warmly, patting Carmilla on the shoulder before turning her attention back to Eileen.  “And so are you.”

Carmilla nods, giving Eileen a kiss on the cheek and smiling as she giggles.

 

“Do you want us to answer questions?” Laura asks.  “Or, I’m sure when you travel back to your time, we can answer them then.  We can do something else while you’re here.”

Eileen perks up.  “Can I see the album?  Of you and Mom?”

 

Laura grins and reaches under the couch, pulling out a dusty album. Eileen had asked for them to recount their story to her almost every night ever since the first night-- until she traveled for the first time.

Carmilla leaves and comes back with a cloth to wipe the cover.

“We haven’t looked at it in a while,” Laura says as they clean it and then open it carefully.

“And can you tell it like a story like you used to when I was little?” Eileen asks.

Carmilla chuckles, climbing onto the couch so Eileen is sitting between them.  “Mommy does tell the best stories.”

“Uh huh!” Eileen says, snuggling against Carmilla’s side.

Laura laughs and clears her throat dramatically.

 

“Well… here I was, one fine Saturday in May 1997.  I had just had a fight with your Auntie Danny. I was a little younger than you are now.  And I was determined to run away and never have to see her again.”

“But you did,” Eileen prompts excitedly.

Laura looks over at Carmilla and laughs.

“Yes.  Because this crazy naked lady was hiding in the bushes and scared me… But this crazy naked lady knew my name, and said she was a time traveler...”

EIleen looks back and forth between her loving mothers.  “And you never thought you’d end up...”

 

Laura and Carmilla give each other loving smiles.

“And I never thought _we’d_ end up... time traveler wives.”

 

* * *

 

**November 1998**

 

“Christmas decorations up already?” Carmilla asks as she appears beside Laura in the attic, which is decorated with lights.

“Honestly, it makes a lot more sense with the information I have now that my mom knew her heart would give out around this time,” Laura says, getting dressed.

Carmilla chuckles as she also starts putting on clothes.  “Not if we have something to say about it.”

 

“Sorry I’m late, moms!” EIleen says as she runs up the stairs.

It’s a bit jarring to see how old her moms are getting, and the usual pang of guilt that they’re still straining their bodies to come visit her hits.  But underneath the extra lines and the gray hairs, they were still as loving and witty as ever.

 

“Some things never change,” Carmilla teases.

Eileen huffs.  “Little Laura kept asking for another episode of _Buffy_ before she went to bed _._   Wait til she finds out there’s gonna be seven years’ worth of episodes for her to rewatch over and over.”

“It still won’t be enough,” Laura laments.

“Some things never change,” Carmilla teases again, making everyone laugh.

Laura gives Eileen a big, tight hug.  “And, lucky for us, some things _do_.”

 

Eileen looks at them inquisitvely.

“We did it,” Laura says, her voice cracking.  “We figured out how to get the treatment to you back in 1998.”

Eileen furrows her eyebrows together.  “ _What_?”

 

“Well, we knew you had to travel back and be stuck here long enough to give birth to me,” Laura explains.  “And in 1991, there’s no way to get the drug that forces jumping to you.”

“So, we decided we’d bring it to you in 1998, to let you live out the full timeline with Little Laura,” Carmilla continues.

Laura smiles.  “If we gave it to you too soon, then I wouldn’t be… me.  And the compound breaks down after too long. So we had LaF find a way to synthesize the drug with technology available in the 90s.” 

“I’m sure they were very excited at the challenge,” Eileen laughs.

“Annoyingly so,” Carmilla grumbles.

 

“Anyway, it took them a while, but they figured it out.  Then came the hard part...” Laura says.

She and Carmilla smile at each other.  “Your mom and I have been making trips back in time to make the compound with neanderthal technology.”

Eileen stares at her moms.  “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Laura and Carmilla look at her, eyes welling up with tears.  Laura clears her throat through a sniffle.

 

“We just have to be careful with the timing.  Little Me still has to think you died due to the RHD condition or it could mess up this next iteration.”

Carmilla nods.  “Which is why your Mommy and I would like your input on the next part of this plan.”

Eileen looks at them expectantly as Carmilla heads over to a drawer and pulls out a piece of paper and pen.

“First, the very first time you start to need hospital visits, you would go to this address and request that they put you into this study,” she says, writing down the name and address of a company and an identifier.

Eileen looks down at the address and frowns.  “Isn’t this LaFontaine’s office? In the future?”

Carmilla nods.  “When my mother signed the company over to me, the science part of the company went to them, the home goods department to Perry, the journalism section to Mommy.  They looked into what kind of cardiovascular studies were available in 1998, that would allow impatient stays.”

 

“We’re doing this because then we could use the inside information we have on the security to sneak in and give you the drug when the time is right.  And, uh, we’ll know when the time is right thanks to some dates we found in dad’s journals,” Laura explains awkwardly. “Which leads us to the next thing...”

She and Carmilla share an uneasy look.

“Tell Sherman you want a closed casket funeral,” Carmilla says softly.

 

Eileen swallows hard.  “So… you want me to wait until I have a stroke.  Then go to Grandma’s company and request admission into a cardiovascular impatient study.  Then tell my husband I want a closed casket funeral. Then wait to have another stroke, after which one of you will sneak in because you already know when I’m gonna have it, and inject me with the drug that will allow me to travel back to our time, and then hide my disappearance in an empty closed casket funeral.”

Carmilla and Laura both nod.

“So… what do you say?” Laura asks hesitantly.

 

Eileen looks back and forth between her moms.

“I say… that I’m looking forward to having Netflix family nights again.”

* * *

  


**???**

 

“Marshmallows?” Carmilla calls from the kitchen.

“ _Duh_!” Laura yells back, smiling when she hears Carmilla laugh.

 

Carmilla obligingly throws enough marshmallows into one mug to cover the entire surface area of the hot chocolate.  And then does the same to another.

The plan to fake Eileen’s death in 1998 went off without a hitch, more or less.  It was difficult to keep Sherman from going into the room to find an empty bed, and suddenly Carmilla wondered if there was something more to the vitriol he treated her with during the first time he met her in 2002.

So now it was just a waiting game.  It’d been weeks since Laura and Carmilla traveled back to their time.

“ _Okay, Carm, you’d better not be just handing me a mug that’s just marshmallows again,_ ” Laura shouts from the living room.  “It wasn’t funny last time and it wouldn’t be funny thi--”

Suddenly, she lets out a shriek.

 

Carmilla runs out, mugs still in hand.

And she sees who made Laura scream and who she’s now hugging while crying.

“Well, that was a rush,” Eileen sighs happily.

 

Laura looks up and meets Carmilla’s gaze.  “She’s back,” she manages to sob out.

“I’m, uh, gonna need another mug of hot chocolate,” Carmilla manages to comment through a sniffle.

 

“Hi, moms,” Eileen greets, her voice cracking with emotion.  “I think I’ve had enough of time traveling, wouldn’t you agree?”

Laura nods.  “It was fun while it lasted but… That was enough time traveling for one story... or even two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here endeth a monumental undertaking that spanned over a year of planning, writing, editing, and lovely interactions with people like you. (As stated earlier, I got swamped with work a few months ago so I promise I'll get to catching up on comments soon!)  
> This story has been such an incredible labor of love that's been an honor to share, and I hope I did it all justice.
> 
> Happy fifth anniversary, creampuffs!
> 
> If you were reading my stuff a few years ago, you might remember that I tried posting a story from different POVs. It was quickly taken down because, I'll admit it-- it didn't work.  
> Remember: if you want a nifty guide to keep the two timelines in order, you can find it [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-y3XnLnrfzWpZirLGGjd3bBOmZdw6KRJ/view?usp=sharing).
> 
> Please remember you can _always_ chat with me down below or over on [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/).As always... stay awesome!  
> 


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